babyosisi:
Update
Meeting rescheduled for next week
I decide to go tell my mentor the story
After a long one hour conversation my mentor convinces me not to go through with that meeting and he asks me to walk up to the mediator and say these words.

Dr XYZ,I have thought about this whole thing and would want to put it behind me and forge ahead,I would like that meeting cancelled and ask that Dr W my boss tell me what he is expecting of me and what he would like me to do

I told my mentor I needed to speak with my greatest confidant first ,my hubby
I do
My hubby who is himself a boss with many subordinates , agrees with my mentor
He says it will make me come out more mature ,diplomatic and non confrontational and that will show me in a good light to this woman who certainly has the overall boss' ear.

So I just spoke with that mediator and she however says if I do change my mind to call her and schedule that meeting ,she also insists that I sit down instead with the boss and have a conversation with him because from her meeting with him,he said he wanted me to succeed and would like us to sit and for me to tell him what my needs are as far as goals etc and he will in turn tell me what his expectations are.
So most likely that next week I will be sitting with my boss hopefully calmly while we try to work this out

My mentor recounted his own experiences with previous bosses and in fact he had seen worse.
This is the route I have decided to take
Thank you all for your prayers,encouragement ,already I feel like I have won,I believe him not showing up was a blessing after all.
I am certain this meeting will be cordial and he will back off now that he knows I am no pushover and have expressed my grievance to a third party.

Thank you for sharing these words of wisdom.

However, I will implore people to learn from this when you are having issues with your bosses, supervisor and even subordinates at work, you can try this approach and I can bet you, you'll become more relaxed and better productive at work.
Cheers.

Nice one babyosisi, I admire your courage. I personally dont believe in taking crap from oyibo.

Let us know the outcome of your next meeting ok.

kinisoo1:
Hi Op

I have been following this conversation all along. Before I comment, please in which sector do you work? Banking? Oil and gas? Academics?

And which country are you?

Thanks

Lol

jaybee3:


I think the best way to answer question of productivity against stretching resource is:

1)You will first look at all the outstanding tasks to see if you can fit the new one into it
2)You will consider prioritising the tasks with the help of your manager or the requester so you can focus on what’s important
3)If you are unable to prioritise the tasks, you will demand for extra resource to help meet the tight schedule

They really just want to find out your thought process in crisis evaluation/resolution. The interview panel already know quality will suffer if you go on about putting extra hours (You are expected to be flexible with changing demands as an employee) and then claim stress at the end of the month. No responsible company will encourage working round the clock to deliver things.

Nice one jaybee3

I had to return to conclude this thread.Thanks to all the participants
The meeting went beyond my wildest imagination

I stepped into my boss' office during our meeting and this was the conversation


Boss: first of all I have to apologize for missing the last meeting,I don't want you to think I deliberately didn't show up,I was double booked and my calendar and iPhone didn't synch so I went to the other appointment....

Babyosisi: no problem ,I understand how that can happen,you don't have to apologise for that

Boss: oh yes I have to,it's not my nature to miss an appointment and also I apologise for this whole thing,this has been nothing but a huge misunderstanding that started and snowballed,I appreciate you,I appreciate all you do,of all the people here,your schedule is the most inconsistent and you have never complained about it but do exactly as I ask and I am happy with what you do .every other person with your schedule has complained and had to be changed.
If It appears to you I seem not to appreciate what you do,I am sorry,I am not perfect.i know I have to get better at conveying that.

At this point I am sitting beside myself asking myself if I was asleep or awake and also feeling bad now ,this is a man that I haven't even spoken to this year due to his avoiding me.

Then I responded

Babyosisi:i also have to apologize to you that I went over your head to bring a report

Then he cuts in

Boss no no no,you don't have to,you did what you had to do because you felt you were not being heard.you know what,from now on I will make you a promise ,when and if I hear anything said to me about you,I will make sure to ask you to hear your own side of the story.
I want us to put all this past happening behind us and from this day forward we start a new chapter forgetting everything that happened in the past.


OMG
I couldn't believe my ears
Jesus o bu otua k'idi?
My respect for my boss grew instantaneously and he felt like a mighty mighty giant before me
I could have never imagined this will end in this fantastic manner.
We continued and talked about work,my publications,he said he sees no reason why I wouldn't be promoted in record time,he congratulated me on my paper that was published this week which he is a co author.
We talked of my future plans,a new elective course I am co directing.

I walked out of his office stepped into mine and said Jesus is indeed Lord and the scripture that came to me was

[size=18pt]When a man's way pleases The Lord ,he makes even his enemy to be at peace with him
[/size]

What I must add was that I had fasted and prayed at various times for this and friends were also praying and God superseded all my expectations
I hope this story will encourage someone.

Well thank God.

The man was touched miraculously.

cococandy:
Well thank God.

The man was touched miraculously.

My dear
It was nothing short of a miracle
Prayer works
God just fought the battle for me
I didn't have to make any defenses, nothing

babyosisi:


My dear
It was nothing short of a miracle
Prayer works
God just fought the battle for me
I didn't have to make any defenses, nothing

Amen

You've got Mail pls

What a happy ending @ op

All the best in your future endeavours.

cococandy:

Amen

You've got Mail pls

Just replied.i was out

Moca is very emotional these days.
See misty eyes.
Always lv good ending.
Thank u Jehovah.

All's well that ends well...He's always by your side to bring His word to pass...wish you all the very best in future as you now get to drink your full glass of wine...in record time!

Nice one babyosisi. Thank God it ended well.

I'm glad this all worked out well. But a word of caution: you had the stronger position and he had much more to lose if he had gone in there guns blazing (I'm sure conversations happened behind your back with your boss and his superiors concerning this matter).

So smile, be polite and diplomatic but don't relax just yet. Do your job, well, continue to work hard and pray and be careful of misstepping.

BTW, my hubby too is a PhD from an ivy league (differenct continent and he had his share of weirdness however I suspect his group was more diverse) and I ran from the US. We are thinking of heading back there, it would be nice to speak privately.

Wow...I have learnt a great deal from your experience. May God continue to uplift u sis.

Onegai:
I'm glad this all worked out well. But a word of caution: you had the stronger position and he had much more to lose if he had gone in there guns blazing (I'm sure conversations happened behind your back with your boss and his superiors concerning this matter).

So smile, be polite and diplomatic but don't relax just yet. Do your job, well, continue to work hard and pray and be careful of misstepping.

BTW, my hubby too is a PhD from an ivy league (differenct continent and he had his share of weirdness however I suspect his group was more diverse) and I ran from the US. We are thinking of heading back there, it would be nice to speak privately.

babyosisi@hotmail.com
Thanks for your advice

moca:
Moca is very emotional these days.
See misty eyes.
Always lv good ending.
Thank u Jehovah.

Praise to God

Was silently following

Thank God it went well however still see Onegai 's post.

He might be that way because he had more to lose.

God be with you in future endeavours

Our God is too much! He never sleeps nor slumbers, always watching over His own. OP, always remember to be as wise as a serpent whilst being as gentle as a dove...
I am also an academic though in the legal field, fairly new and still growing so I understand what it means to be on one's toes professionally. Wish u the best!

Mantain your confidence!
Just be calm and good listener
Don show him that your trying to compite just explain your self calmly!
Don take him as your enemy,just talk to him as if you have forgotten everything between you two! Be the first to say i to him with beauty smile!

Don take him as your Enemy.