Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Nobody: 8:39am On Mar 15, 2015 |
typing.................... |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by beau49: 3:11pm On Mar 15, 2015 |
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Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Nobody: 6:08am On Mar 28, 2015 |
beau49:
Since morning Na my ink ink finish jarey, no vex. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by whizqueen(f): 1:27pm On Mar 29, 2015 |
Laff don turn my dada into brazillian hair oooooooh Following 2 Likes |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Nobody: 2:11pm On Mar 29, 2015 |
whizqueen: Laff don turn my dada into brazillian hair oooooooh
Following |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by whizqueen(f): 4:59pm On Mar 29, 2015 |
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Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Nobody: 6:04pm On Mar 29, 2015 |
whizqueen:
Type jhoor n Stop shining your teeth wetin you wan may I talk na? I'd rather my teeth do the talking than my mouth, you wey you don forget your nairaland horse-band since you no gree hala me. |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by whizqueen(f): 6:51pm On Mar 29, 2015 |
FriedPlantain: wetin you wan may I talk na? I'd rather my teeth do the talking rather mouth, you wey you don forget your nairaland horse-band since you no gree hala me. Why I go forget you na? Ko possible mehn Buh I no won be the woman wey go put asunder between you n your newly found NL love |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Nobody: 8:56am On Apr 19, 2015 |
Qmab: he's never going home Obviously |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by gidob(m): 4:12pm On Apr 26, 2015 |
You got me laughing,you are d besssttttt |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Nobody: 7:15am On May 02, 2015 |
gidob: You got me laughing,you are d besssttttt Thanks man. I'm glad you find them funny. |
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Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Nobody: 9:00am On May 02, 2015 |
beau49:
you this dude eh....
See me rushing to open it thinking it was another funny joke. I still have more of them in my arsenal, do you still want me to unleash more? |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by beau49: 9:10am On May 02, 2015 |
FriedPlantain: I still have more of them in my arsenal, do you still want me to unleash more? *bates eyelash* please do....I want more**in basket mouths voice** 2 Likes |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by jackdaniels(m): 3:56pm On May 02, 2015 |
Which day i go make front page 1 Like |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Nobody: 3:58pm On May 02, 2015 |
Friedplantain yi sha Interviewer: Let us meet you Friedplantain: My name is Jay Jay Okocha, I am here to support your team. 2 Likes |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Nobody: 4:00pm On May 02, 2015 |
first I thought you were an animal rights activist, now I know you are a clown. |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by laoshog: 4:06pm On May 02, 2015 |
Text GCW to 38261 on your MTN line to get very useful information about your gadget.
I was surprised too !!!!!!!!! |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by kodded(m): 4:08pm On May 02, 2015 |
Lol |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by AmaechiLinus(m): 4:11pm On May 02, 2015 |
[color=#006600][/color] |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by sibepoc(m): 4:12pm On May 02, 2015 |
Una dey make me laff like fool for here. Na wedding i dey ooo 1 Like |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by potential84: 4:12pm On May 02, 2015 |
funny.... |
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Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Aitee1: 4:14pm On May 02, 2015 |
4 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by initiate: 4:14pm On May 02, 2015 |
FriedPlantain: [b] Mumuni, who was in a mental hospital was being reviewed for possible release. When asked what he would do if released, he replied, "I am going to make a slingshot and come back here and break every damn window in the place."Obviously, his release was denied. Six months later, the board was again considering his release and again asked him the same question. His reply was the same. "I am going to make a sling shot and come back here and break every damn window in the place." Again, he was turned down. Several months later he was complaining to a fellow patient that he could never seem to get released. The patients asked him what he said when they interviewed him, and Mumuni told him. The patient said, "You will never get released with answers like that. You have to tell them what they want to hear. Let me give you some advice on how to answer them when they ask you questions." So, after considerable coaching, Mumuni felt that he was ready. So when the board met again, they again asked him what he would do if they let him out. But this time he was ready. Mumuni said, "I am going to get a job, find an apartment and settle down." "Good," they said, and then what? He said, "I want to meet a nice girl and start dating." They agreed he was making real progress and asked, "And then what ?" "One night when we are alone in my apartment, I am going to make passionate love to my girlfriend. I am going to take her dress off, and then take her bra off and lie her down on the bed." "Yes," they said excitedly. "Then I am going to gently remove her panties," he continued. The board members were really getting excited now and asked, "Then what are you going to do ?" He said, " I am going to take the elastic out of those panties, make myself a slingshot, come back here and break every damn window in this place!
Friedplantain[/b]
is it the same mumuni working with sgt rogers and Mustapha? |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by zungum: 4:16pm On May 02, 2015 |
FriedPlantain: [b]Ofego: pastor, I have sinned. Pastor: my son, wat did u do? just confess wat u did exactly.God Almighty will forgive you.
Ofego: (sobbing), pastor I committed adultery with several of the female church members.
Pastor: can you mention their names and how many times you slept with each of them? You see for your forgiveness to be complete, you need to mention them so that we can also prayfor them.
Ofego: aaaaah pastor I can't, I am ashamed.
Pastor: okay this is what we will do; after service, we will go to the church entrance together and watch members come out, once anyone you ve slept with comes out, just say 'PAU'. The number of times u say 'PAU' will indicate d number of times you slept with that particular person.... And so they went to the church entrance.
*Head usher passes wriggling her buttocks*
Ofego: pau pau
pastor:the Lord forgive you my brother
*decon's wife passes carrying her bible*
Ofego: pau
pastor: may the Lord forgive you.
*a choir member passes singing*
Ofego: pau pau pau
pastor: God will forgive you. Yes, he will.
* Lo and behold, pastor's wife passes by and Ofego goes off like a machine gun*
Ofego: pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau paupau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau paupau pau pau pra papa pau
pastor: yeeeeeepaaaaa!!! na Sango go kill you! God punish your father! God will never forgive you. [/b] FriedPlantain: [b]Ofego: pastor, I have sinned. Pastor: my son, wat did u do? just confess wat u did exactly.God Almighty will forgive you.
Ofego: (sobbing), pastor I committed adultery with several of the female church members.
Pastor: can you mention their names and how many times you slept with each of them? You see for your forgiveness to be complete, you need to mention them so that we can also prayfor them.
Ofego: aaaaah pastor I can't, I am ashamed.
Pastor: okay this is what we will do; after service, we will go to the church entrance together and watch members come out, once anyone you ve slept with comes out, just say 'PAU'. The number of times u say 'PAU' will indicate d number of times you slept with that particular person.... And so they went to the church entrance.
*Head usher passes wriggling her buttocks*
Ofego: pau pau
pastor:the Lord forgive you my brother
*decon's wife passes carrying her bible*
Ofego: pau
pastor: may the Lord forgive you.
*a choir member passes singing*
Ofego: pau pau pau
pastor: God will forgive you. Yes, he will.
* Lo and behold, pastor's wife passes by and Ofego goes off like a machine gun*
Ofego: pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau paupau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau paupau pau pau pra papa pau
pastor: yeeeeeepaaaaa!!! na Sango go kill you! God punish your father! God will never forgive you. [/b] |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by dayleke: 4:16pm On May 02, 2015 |
Funny jokes Funny dude |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Yosifperfect(m): 4:21pm On May 02, 2015 |
FOR WHATEVER IS WORTH, YOU JUST MADE MY WEEKEND WORTHWHILE! 5 Likes |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Holuwathoby(m): 4:25pm On May 02, 2015 |
FriedPlantain: RULES OF FOOTBALL WHEN WE WERE KIDS 1. The fat kid was always the goalkeeper 2. The owner of the ball decides who plays. 3. Penalties awarded only if injured player curses a lot. 4. The match only ends when everyone was tired. 5. No matter how many goals you score, the winner will bedetermined by the last team to score. 6. No referee and lines men. You could run withthe ball even behind the goal post. 7. If you don't participate in repairing the ball you were given a match ban. 8. If you're picked last, you're a loser. 9. The guy who's never picked was to fetch the ball from thetree when it got stuck,under the car or tunnel toplay in the nextgame. 10. When the owner of the ball gets annoyed, game over! 11. You were allowed to change a goalkeeper in case of a penalty. 12. the most skillful player gets automatic selection. so true 1 Like |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Nobody: 4:27pm On May 02, 2015 |
Friendplantain I don't get your 1st joke pls,I really wish 2 understand it. Y he gv am $5? |
Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by richymain(m): 4:27pm On May 02, 2015 |
FriedPlantain: [b] Mumuni walks into a bar and orders a double, obviously upset. "What's the matter, buddy ?" asks the bartender. "It's a long story. I met this beautiful woman who invited me back home. We tripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and were just about to make love when her goddamned husband came in the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the edge by my fingernails without any clothes on!'' ''Gee, that's tough!'' commiserated the bartender. ''Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated.When her husband came into the room, he wanted to have sex with her -- but he had to piss first. And the lazy son of a b*tch pissed out the window right onto my head! " ''Yeech! No wonder you're in a lousy mood." ''Yeah, but I haven't told you what really really made me mad. Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished the husband tossed his condom out the window. And where does it land? On my goddamn forehead!'' ''Damn, that really is a drag!'' ''Oh, I'm not finished!See, what really pissed me off was when the husband had to take a dump. Turns out that their toilet was broken, so he stuck his a55 out of the window and let loose right on myhead!'' ''That would sure mess up my day." ''Yeah, yeah, yeah, but do you know what REALLY REALLY REALLY pissed me off ? When I looked down and saw that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!''
FriedPlantain [/b] so dy finally released mumuni |