| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Tobxyad(f): 8:10am On May 03, 2015 |
Loool nyc 1 |
| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by doctorjohn(m): 8:56am On May 03, 2015 |
this is refreshing. thanks |
| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by dlex21(m): 9:40am On May 03, 2015 |
A man parked his jeep which had 4 x 4 written on it. A mad man came around and used nail to write equals to 16. The owner came, was angry and confused as to who will do such to his car. He repainted it. Another day, he parked the car and again the mad man came and did the same thing. The man was more annoyed but he still repainted it. The third time, the mad man came and did the same thing. The man, obviously frustrated decided to paint the car 4 x 4 = 16 so whoever was doing such will stop it. Then came the mad man and he was like "ehen now we are talking" and he carried nail and marked it correct.. The man fainted...  5 Likes |
| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by StPete: 10:33am On May 03, 2015 |
A man and his wife were sleeping naked late in the night at the top most floor of their 4-storey building apartment. Suddenly the wife woke up and screamed, 'my husband is coming!' The man jerked up from his sleep, in a rush he jumped out of the window  , landed hard on the ground floor, broke his two front teeth and fractured his ribs. Just then, he realised he was the husband 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by VoteOutPDPJona: 10:41am On May 03, 2015 |
Esdb3:
Sorry am not ibo but ogini means what right??
Yea! "WHAT IS IT" actually? Can't remember the last time I laughed out loud like this while reading these jokes. |
| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by VoteOutPDPJona: 10:51am On May 03, 2015 |
2 Likes |
| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Nobody: 10:51am On May 03, 2015 |
cyprus000:
[size=15pt]
Naija no dey carry last.
Its lyk I know you from somwer..ain't you the one with the moniker "MALEGIRL"? [/size]
lolzz amn't but sHE's a friend to me,and I've plea to her,she said she's coming back with another disturbing MONIKER |
| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by cyprus000: 10:58am On May 03, 2015 |
vheMa:
lolzz amn't but sHE's a friend to me,and I've plea to her,she said she's coming back with another disturbing MONIKER [size=15pt]
Look at me carefully,do I look lyk am wearing pampers
I know you are her[/size] |
| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Nobody: 12:01pm On May 03, 2015 |
slapandfall:
:::::::::ℓ☺ℓ :::::::.. They r quite funny.. But this is epic
Dis joke gets me cracking
Palm Wine Drinking Competition
Two communities Umuaga & Iwollo in Enugu state
decided to hold a drinking competition.A week to the competition Umuaga community sent a delegate to Iwollo,to confirm if the competition will still
hold.
When the guy that was the delegate got there
,the people of Iwollo brought 20 litres of thier
strongest Aneke-Achime{palm wine}as kola.
The guy asked ;Can i test it?...the people said ;Go ahead;the guy drank and finished the whole 20 litres and said ;this is okay ,where is the main drink?....the people of Iwollo shouted;come oo ,are u amoung the competitors?...
The guy replied ;NO, I DID NOT QUALIFY.
The iwollo elders fainted... Heheheheheh |
| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Enigma90(m): 1:08pm On May 03, 2015 |
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| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Enigma90(m): 1:13pm On May 03, 2015 |
FriedPlantain:
[b]Ofego: pastor, I have sinned.
Pastor: my son, wat did u do? just confess wat u did exactly.God Almighty will forgive you.
Ofego: (sobbing), pastor I committed adultery with several of the female church members.
Pastor: can you mention their names and how many times you slept with each of them? You see for your forgiveness to be complete, you need to mention them so that we can also prayfor them.
Ofego: aaaaah pastor I can't, I am ashamed.
Pastor: okay this is what we will do; after service, we will go to the church entrance together and watch members come out, once anyone you ve slept with comes out, just say 'PAU'. The number of times u say 'PAU' will indicate d number of times you slept with that particular person.... And so they went to the church entrance.
*Head usher passes wriggling her buttocks*
Ofego: pau pau
pastor:the Lord forgive you my brother
*decon's wife passes carrying her bible*
Ofego: pau
pastor: may the Lord forgive you.
*a choir member passes singing*
Ofego: pau pau pau
pastor: God will forgive you. Yes, he will.
* Lo and behold, pastor's wife passes by and Ofego goes off like a machine gun*
Ofego: pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau paupau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau pau paupau pau pau pra papa pau
pastor: yeeeeeepaaaaa!!! na Sango go kill you!  God punish your father! God will never forgive you. [/b] |
| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Nozzle(m): 1:20pm On May 03, 2015 |
slapandfall:
:::::::::ℓ☺ℓ :::::::.. They r quite funny.. But this is epic
Dis joke gets me cracking
Palm Wine Drinking Competition
Two communities Umuaga & Iwollo in Enugu state
decided to hold a drinking competition.A week to the competition Umuaga community sent a delegate to Iwollo,to confirm if the competition will still
hold.
When the guy that was the delegate got there
,the people of Iwollo brought 20 litres of thier
strongest Aneke-Achime{palm wine}as kola.
The guy asked ;Can i test it?...the people said ;Go ahead;the guy drank and finished the whole 20 litres and said ;this is okay ,where is the main drink?....the people of Iwollo shouted;come oo ,are u amoung the competitors?...
The guy replied ;NO, I DID NOT QUALIFY.
The iwollo elders fainted... Heheheheheh legendary... cracked me up for minutes, and i felt like an umuagu pami champion  |
| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by maureeoy: 2:38pm On May 04, 2015 |
slapandfall:
:::::::::ℓ☺ℓ :::::::.. They r quite funny.. But this is epic
Dis joke gets me cracking
Palm Wine Drinking Competition
Two communities Umuaga & Iwollo in Enugu state
decided to hold a drinking competition.A week to the competition Umuaga community sent a delegate to Iwollo,to confirm if the competition will still
hold.
When the guy that was the delegate got there
,the people of Iwollo brought 20 litres of thier
strongest Aneke-Achime{palm wine}as kola.
The guy asked ;Can i test it?...the people said ;Go ahead;the guy drank and finished the whole 20 litres and said ;this is okay ,where is the main drink?....the people of Iwollo shouted;come oo ,are u amoung the competitors?...
The guy replied ;NO, I DID NOT QUALIFY.
The iwollo elders fainted... Heheheheheh i have tears in my eyes vey funny |
| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by maureeoy: 2:40pm On May 04, 2015 |
knockturnal:
This cracks me up daily
TEACHRER: John, what do you call a baby dog?
JOHN: A baby dog is called a puppy
TEACHER: Akpos, what do you call a baby lizard?
AKPOS: A baby lizard is called lizzy baby.
07066697666
TEACHER FAINTS!!! 07066697666 another funny one my God |
| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by maureeoy: 2:43pm On May 04, 2015 |
i enjoyed all the jokes.
Well done guys. |
| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by SenatorJames(m): 3:43pm On May 04, 2015 |
vheMa:
Friendplantain I don't get your 1st joke pls,I really wish 2 understand it. Y he gv am $5? Meaning he just asked a question he himself did not know the answer to. So when the man asked him back he has forgotten that that is the same question that won him $500, so he just pay him $5 for a question he didn't know the answer to as agreed. Are you cleared? 1 Like |
| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Nobody: 7:55pm On May 04, 2015 |
. 1 Share 
|
| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by DuBLINGreenb(m): 8:50pm On May 06, 2015 |
That moment when you realise $500 is 99525.0000 Nigerian naira. FriedPlantain:
** Sense pass sense **
[b]
An American lawyer and a Nigerian are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that Nigerians are so dumb that he can fool them easily..,....,. so the lawyer asks if the naija guy would like to play a fun game. The nigerian is tired and just wants to rest, so he politely declines and tries to catch some sleep. The lawyer persists and says that the game is a lot of fun "I ask u a question and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only 5dollars; you ask me one and if I dont know the answer, I will pay u $500.
As naija no be dull guys naau, this catches the nigerian's attention and to keep d lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks d 1st question "what's the distance from earth to the moon?
The naija guy doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket pulls out 5dollars the hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the omo naija turn. He ask the lawyer, "what goes up a mountain with 3 legs and comes down with four?
The lawyer uses his laptop, searches the internet and even the Library of Congress. He sends emails to all his smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After 1 hour of futile searching, he finally gives up. He wakes the naija guy and hands him $500. The nigerian pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going crazy not knowing the answer.
So he wakes the naija guy up the asks, "well, so what goes up a mountain with 3 legs and comes down with four? The nigerian reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer 5dollars and goes back to sleep.
Friedplantain [/b] |
| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Feranchek(m): 12:04pm On May 30, 2015 |
FriedPlantain:
Jose Mourinho on an interview with CNN after leaving Inter to coach Real Madrid“I could write a book of 200 pages of my two years at Inter with Mario, but the book would not be a drama – it would be a comedy,”“I remember one time when we went to play Kazan in the Champions League. In that matchI had all my strikers injured. NoDiego Milito, no Samuel Eto’o, I was really in trouble and Mario was the only one.“Mario got a yellow card in the 42nd minute, sowhen I got to the dressing room at half-time I spend about 14 minutes of the 15 available speaking only to Mario.“I said to him: ‘Mario, I cannot change you,I have no strikers on the bench, so don’t touch anybody and play only with the ball.If we lose the ball no reaction. If someone provokes you, no reaction, if the refereemakes a mistake, no reaction.'At the The 46th minute.,
,
.
.
.
RED CARD!!!”
I'm an inter Milan fan and I remember this match like it was yesterday! Couldn't laugh enough when I saw that interview a couple of months after Mou left.... Mario na serious CASE! |
| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by beejaay: 6:38am On Dec 04, 2015 |
Ofego was being discharged from a Mental Hospital after doctors thought he was finally back to normal. He was put in an ambulance to be taken back home. He claimed he knew the house so he led the doctors. They took him to where he claimed he lived.
Just as they approached a certain house, two kids, dressed in uniforms came out of the house. Ofego
screamed, "Those are my children going to school!"
A minute later, a woman came out of the same house and Ofego screamed, "That's my wife, she is late for work!" This time, the doctors were convinced Ofego was ok and took him out of the ambulance but was still in chains.
Just as they were about unlocking the chains, a man came out of the house and Ofego screamed, "YES! THAT'S ME GOING TO WORK!"
Friedplantain
|
| Re: My top 5 funniest jokes ever!!! by Khaytunechi: 9:52am On Dec 07, 2016 |
me gawwwddd hahaha |
