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An Advice Pls by JessyM: 1:12am On Feb 16, 2015
I dated an igbo guy for 6 months, I loved him so much and he had feelings for me as well, he used to tell me how much he loves me and how different I am from other gals outside there, characters and behaviours, one day he said to me if am aware of Nigeria igbo culture, because he wants to settle down with me, I was happy because I know I really loved him, I trusted every single word coming from his mouth and my heart trusted him as well. He made me feel like a woman, but not knowing that he's just pleases me with sugar words,he used to make me feel bad sometimes because of the way he talk, he knows am not a demanding woman because am not just comfortable when I keep asking a man for money, and so I like to use the small money I have, if he wants to give me, he will without me demanding.So it happened that he left to Nigeria for holiday of 6 weeks, so I tried to keep in touch with him atleast to know how he's doing, but when I call, sometimes he will say, he's busy or can we talk in the evening. One day I called him and said to me "can we pls talk tomorrow"? I felt somehow but I took everything simple, after the holiday, he came back and he confirmed to me that he got a woman of his choice because he promised his mother never to marry outside and that it's better we break a r/ship than a marriage simply because we have different cultures. I felt really hurt and I left him, after sometimes he asked me to visit him, and because of the feelings we had for each other we committed sex.
He has a gal now in Nigeria, and am still hanging out with him because he was the only guy I had upto now, even though I know he's engaged somewhere and we cannot get narried,am still hanging out with him and we spent val together in Saturday,
Pls what is the best step to take? Advice me pls thanks
Re: An Advice Pls by scampy(m): 1:17am On Feb 16, 2015
Try and stop seeing him. He will never marry because u are just a side chic.
Re: An Advice Pls by tonychristopher: 1:19am On Feb 16, 2015
JessyM:
I dated an igbo guy for 6 months, I loved him so much and he had feelings for me as well, he used to tell me how much he loves me and how different I am from other gals outside there, characters and behaviours, one day he said to me if am aware of Nigeria igbo culture, because he wants to settle down with me, I was happy because I know I really loved him, I trusted every single word coming from his mouth and my heart trusted him as well. He made me feel like a woman, but not knowing that he's just pleases me with sugar words,he used to make me feel bad sometimes because of the way he talk, he knows am not a demanding woman because am not just comfortable when I keep asking a man for money, and so I like to use the small money I have, if he wants to give me, he will without me demanding.So it happened that he left to Nigeria for holiday of 6 weeks, so I tried to keep in touch with him atleast to know how he's doing, but when I call, sometimes he will say, he's busy or can we talk in the evening. One day I called him and said to me "can we pls talk tomorrow"? I felt somehow but I took everything simple, after the holiday, he came back and he confirmed to me that he got a woman of his choice because he promised his mother never to marry outside and that it's better we break a r/ship than a marriage simply because we have different cultures. I felt really hurt and I left him, after sometimes he asked me to visit him, and because of the feelings we had for each other we committed sex.
He has a gal now in Nigeria, and am still hanging out with him because he was the only guy I had upto now, even though I know he's engaged somewhere and we cannot get narried,am still hanging out with him and we spent val together in Saturday,
Pls what is the best step to take? Advice me pls thanks
I am igbo also and I will advise you....go Home. Get yourself another man from your place or dont you have decent man there

This man came out open and told you the truth that he can't marry you and you ate still sticking around . Why do you want to disyroy the marriage .

It hurts but leave him alone ...igbo are blunt and frank people so get a plan b

Good luck on your manly searching

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Re: An Advice Pls by ronald4lif(m): 1:22am On Feb 16, 2015
Jerks like this keeps giving us Igbo guys bad name. How could someone be this heartless? You know you can't date someone outside your tribe and still wasted her time all along.

Anyways dear you have to move on. Why are you still hanging out with such a person. I understand is pretty hard to let go of someone you love and was so committed to but you see he doesn't deserve you. Stop seeing him like right away and possibly stop whatever communication you have with him. Don't let him deceive you any further. Be a strong woman and come to terms with the sad reality that he's left you.

Soon he ll start coming up with stories of how you are the one he loves and want to be with and how he's marrying the new girl coz mom wants him to. He will equally start telling you how she's bad bla bla. But all that is hogwash. If he really meant it he won't have left you for her. The tribe talk and what his relatives wants are also baseless. A real man stands his grounds on whoever he truly wants to marry. He's to live with the wife, not his relatives so they shouldn't have much say. Please move on

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Re: An Advice Pls by Nobody: 1:29am On Feb 16, 2015
You're playing the role of the side chick/rebound chick/fall-back chick/plan B chick perfectly fine and you still need our advice?

Whatever happened to common sense.

This is the kind of scenario that reminds me of the assertion I made years ago - ''Women really don't know what they want''.
Re: An Advice Pls by Kennywills7(m): 1:49am On Feb 16, 2015
I hv no time for long grammar! d only thing i hv to say is save ur life and bear in mind dat d dude Is using u, so go get a man dat truly deserve u and stop falling for shit

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Re: An Advice Pls by jerrymej(m): 2:39am On Feb 16, 2015
Keep hanging with him till I wake.
Re: An Advice Pls by tonychristopher: 7:22am On Feb 16, 2015
ronald4lif:
Jerks like this keeps giving us Igbo guys bad name. How could someone be this heartless? You know you can't date someone outside your tribe and still wasted her time all along.

Anyways dear you have to move on. Why are you still hanging out with such a person. I understand is pretty hard to let go of someone you love and was so committed to but you see he doesn't deserve you. Stop seeing him like right away and possibly stop whatever communication you have with him. Don't let him deceive you any further. Be a strong woman and come to terms with the sad reality that he's left you.

Soon he ll start coming up with stories of how you are the one he loves and want to be with and how he's marrying the new girl coz mom wants him to. He will equally start telling you how she's bad bla bla. But all that is hogwash. If he really meant it he won't have left you for her. The tribe talk and what his relatives wants are also baseless. A real man stands his grounds on whoever he truly wants to marry. He's to live with the wife, not his relatives so they shouldn't have much say. Please move on


Stop saying that . Marriage isn't a sympathy thing

this man came out as a brave man and told her the truth that he cant marry her. That to me is honorable ...


I dont know why women think that all relationship will lead to marital bliss

I think its the best thing that she is been told the truth

If your not heartbroken before your not grown. Ameriacan adage
Re: An Advice Pls by JessyM: 9:36am On Feb 16, 2015
tonychristopher:

He never told me directly, but his characters and the way he behaved, made me to find out what is going on and why he suddenly changed,
I disagree that the igbo guys are open and frank because we had been dating before he went to Nigeria, things changed when he came back knowing that he has a gal he left behind! If igbo guys are open enough,then why did he slept with me when I visited him after coming back from nigeria sad( anyways thanks for ur advice

Stop saying that . Marriage isn't a sympathy thing

this man came out as a brave man and told her the truth that he cant marry her. That to me is honorable ...


I dont know why women think that all relationship will lead to marital bliss

I think its the best thing that she is been told the truth

If your not heartbroken before your not grown. Ameriacan adage
Re: An Advice Pls by JessyM: 9:38am On Feb 16, 2015
[Thanks dear, i will surely move on smiley quote author=ronald4lif post=30770499]Jerks like this keeps giving us Igbo guys bad name. How could someone be this heartless? You know you can't date someone outside your tribe and still wasted her time all along.

Anyways dear you have to move on. Why are you still hanging out with such a person. I understand is pretty hard to let go of someone you love and was so committed to but you see he doesn't deserve you. Stop seeing him like right away and possibly stop whatever communication you have with him. Don't let him deceive you any further. Be a strong woman and come to terms with the sad reality that he's left you.

Soon he ll start coming up with stories of how you are the one he loves and want to be with and how he's marrying the new girl coz mom wants him to. He will equally start telling you how she's bad bla bla. But all that is hogwash. If he really meant it he won't have left you for her. The tribe talk and what his relatives wants are also baseless. A real man stands his grounds on whoever he truly wants to marry. He's to live with the wife, not his relatives so they shouldn't have much say. Please move on
[/quote]
Re: An Advice Pls by Nobody: 10:28am On Feb 18, 2015
One thing I notice abt ur write-up is that it seems ur comfortable been the other woman and that too bad cos u deserve more....

U need to appreciate urself before any man can....

Just break up with him....am sure a cool dude is waiting somewhere for u
Re: An Advice Pls by DiamonJ: 12:39pm On Feb 18, 2015
igbo guys are like cancer, their tribe don't deserve good women, I hate them, all what comes out of their mouth even @ their 40s and 50s is my mom say I should do this or that,,they are not worth. dating, they are heartbrokers ,I hate their mum

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