gede7744:
what do l ve to say self.........

l nearly broke my sight trying to comprehend ur post

u came to nija for a month u did everything together even met each other family. now u ve issues with her cos of her past.
is like she had done a lot of abortion and he had abt 4bf. l beg how old is she?

now according to u she is forming hard to get.

anyway my advice........ give it a rest. stop calling and acting desperate. let's see how it play out

dexpendable:
I think she's been insecure even with the thought of you not staying around. so the whole thing was a 50-50 for her. She took her chances and then you spilled it up.. so she had to go for the other choice.

You've to get back to Nigeria to sought things out.

MisterLongman:
She really needs to work on herself

Melahou:
I suggest you focus on what ever you are doing in France...
you are only been distracted.

how many months and you have started having issues
besides you are not even around...

you`ll only be used as a "shoe Shiner"

let her go cos nothing go will come out of it believe me

Demy2015:


Was expecting something like this. Been distracted as in ? Shoe shiner? I guess i am just surprised how girls can seem so in love and then just dont care.

Melahou:


you can never predict most girls...
if only you can see tru their hrt...you`ll be shocked

shindarayo:
D prob isnt wt d gurl nor u.d prob is wt d past u find hard to forget.wldnt say she doesnt love u shes just trying to mk uu decide if u rily love her enuff to overlook her past, she wants u to mk dt decision alone and not because she wants u to.she wants u to understand dt she hs a past wch cant b erased, its left for u to either deal wt it or Leave.judging ftm ur story, its like uv md it obvious ure bothered abt her past and she knws dis wld alws b a barrier btw u both if u decide to not forget.she knws wat she wants inspite of wat shes bn tru, its left for u to realrlise if u rily want to forge ahead wt ur relationship with her. ...if ure sure u love her enough please try to forget, every lady has a dark past, and it takes courage to open up to our loved ones, u should respect her for dt.in the end follow ur heart but use ur head

blackchukky:
deal with your insecurities about her past or you move on

the answer lies deep within you

bakynes:
I really pity you people doing overseas love, is a different thing if you met her here and mayb later travelled out bt u met her online or you guys were match made by a friend and started dating, do you really think she doesn't have someone she is dating over here. Just forget abt d girl find yourself a girl in Paris and move on it won't work if you are based in France and she is in Nigeria.

andromida:
Yes girls can change that quick when the guy is picking on a past neither of you can control.

Demy2015:


Makes alot of sense. I like her alot but i still struggle with it. I believe i will get over it with time. What do u mean by the answer lies within me though?

Modesayo:
If u cant take the past,why dig into it...u don't judge pple COs u might do worse if u were in their shoes....wt what she has bn tru,ts normal if she is insecured...You Av to be very matured in the way u handle d relationship as her man.....God help u both

Demy2015:


I was not picking on her past. yes it bothered me but its only normal trust me. Was dealing with it. But how can a girl who says she is in love with you just change and not look back (or hasnt).Granted i was not the best person but still she felt comfortable enough to introduce me to her parent and close friends. I guess we just have different orientation

Hey i have looked at some of your post and like the way u reason.

ronald4lif:
You insisted a girl tell you her past and she gladly obliged then turn around to use it against her? Yes that's what you are doing by not getting over it. It's never easy for a girl to open up about her past, especially when it's dirty and unfavourable. But she did, and gladly so. For her to tell you the truth about her tells a lot about her person, positively. We all don't have a perfect past and judging people by their past life experience is never the best thing to do. I understand your worries about her past life and if indeed there won't be a re-occurrence in the future, I will be worried too, but you have to let it slide. Or would you have preferred she portray a holy Mary past? Guess not.

Often times, I wonder why guys make it so much an issue when girlfriends spend much time on social media platforms. Yes it's true social media serves as a gateway for cheating but there are a tens of different reasons why people engage themselves on media than cheating. And a cheat will cheat even if they don't have Internet access. I think the decision of you telling her to reduce her social media presence was not properly thought out. You both just started a relationship and you came up with such? She may be thinking you may not allow her talk to any man when you eventually end up together, even a 'hi' to a man could spring up unnecessary issues. The relationship is too nascent to be having many argument and for attempting to gag her rights to exercising freedom on social media.

Also, I think you've given her reasons to develop uncertainties about the relationship and that's why she said those stuffs. She's having great doubts of where the relationship is heading not that she doesn't love you anymore like she earlier claimed. The love is still there (if it was ever there before) but she just needs re-assurance of your love. She's scared of losing you just like you're scared of losing her too. Forget the talk of you both should just be friends until you get back to Nigeria again, that's baseless. Keep being nice, showing her some love and more love, she will come around. Finally, work on your trust issues too. The relationship (especially a distance one) is heading no where without trust. All the best mate!

Demy2015:


I totally agree with you. Thats what i have read. But I have made her realise i will get over it but she insists we should stay broken up until i come back to Nigeria at least. Then we can look at things again. I actaully feel maybe she's taking the chance to be single again. How can i show her it wont be a problem though? We got together so fast i did not get to work on forgetting her past. I am even annoyed she told me (even though i asked). But i feel bad i made regret it.

ivyy:



You are very correct mayb she wants to be single again or you were too choky. You can't move ahead with someone en you can not even get over their past. That wld cause a lot of naging from your end and wld alwys create problems. My gues is she feels exactly that way about you and got feedup she obviously loves her freedom more than she does for you. Or she never loved you.

Since uve tried your best. Try leave her alone. Move on with your life ud meet someone who's for you.
I hope uve learnt a or two from this experience? Cheers

Demy2015:


I have no problem with if she loves to be single again. LDR is alot of stress and i now i realise why people stay away from it. What i do not understand is why she went through all the effort to make it work if she would bail. She still says she loves me but cannot deal with my wahala. I have left her tho just always good to get nairalander view points. S

ivyy:


Yea I get. She bailed coz
1) Suddenly realised she cldnt keep up with the ldr especially with your trust issues. Trust is very vital for any ldr to work
2)She's fallen for some other guy who's not away

Demy2015:


Very good one mate. She actually never said she did not love anymore. She said she still does but we need a break. Yes i know i played a big part in what has happened its just the chnage in attitude that is surprising.