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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / The Dumbest Lies (2853 Views)
What Is The Dumbest Lie Your Lover Or Ex Ever Told You? / Is This The Dumbest Husband In The World? / Dumbest Lies (2) (3) (4)
The Dumbest Lies by Laitesmart(m): 9:03am On Mar 09, 2015 |
Bracing myself for some of the funniest comments about lies that I have ever read!!!!
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Re: The Dumbest Lies by falconey(m): 9:07am On Mar 09, 2015 |
" The last time I did it was 2years ago" |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by falconey(m): 9:07am On Mar 09, 2015 |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by djeezy(m): 9:09am On Mar 09, 2015 |
1.She said you're the first, believe me. My hymen was broken when I used a dil.do during self service......ehmm clears throat. 2. I hate sex From the same person . 2 Likes |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by Tallesty1(m): 9:09am On Mar 09, 2015 |
I love you. But I think I was dumber cause I believed her. 2 Likes |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 9:11am On Mar 09, 2015 |
I'm still a virgin..... while she never knew her ex is a friend of mine and the dude already told me about how he used to lash her on a daily basis.... |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by CloneX: 9:11am On Mar 09, 2015 |
"We're just friends" 1 Like |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by sinaj(f): 9:14am On Mar 09, 2015 |
he said I can trust him... |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by Rexhenrex(m): 9:15am On Mar 09, 2015 |
"MY EX boyfriend plays in Arsenal, his name is Chinedu" Which chinedu dh Arsenal ive never eaten amala ive never tasted alomo or paraga Me? ive never taken okada ive never ever had pure water i only wear human hair o its from Dubai me i dont ever shop here o i have four blackberry handsets noo i dont kiss on the first date after clubbing i cant go to a guys place without make-up i still have a fine face im serious this is my first time nowwww. Like say na me them lie for pass o, if you believe any of this line na im be say ur mumu don pass cut off mark. 1 Like |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by Beamborla(f): 9:21am On Mar 09, 2015 |
What of the one you told your ex? 1 Like |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 9:30am On Mar 09, 2015 |
Well, I was starting to date this guy, many years ago. So one day he invited me to come watch a movie at his flat. It was my 1st time there, mind you. Anyway, the dude started getting all touchy feely with me as we sat side by side on the sofa. I was very nervous so I asked him where the bathroom was, hoping it would distract him & give me more time to compose myself. As I sat on the toilet, my eyes caught something sticking out of his laundry basket. I went closer & realised that it was a bra. The lying douche have told me that he didn't have a girlfriend & that he was living there alone, so there was no logical reason for him to have a bra lying around. Unless of course he was a cross dresser! Oh, I knew he wouldn't be sexing ME up after such a discovery. I don't beat around the bush, so I asked him straight up whose bra it was. He didn't have much time to think up a convincing lie, so he just blurted out that it was HIS! Like, 4real!? I left without saying another word. I later found out that he was either married or was living with this person, but his lady was not there fulltime because her job had her transferred to another province. She must have been visiting & left, by the time I was next on the stud's new mission. Mission. .IMPOSSIBLE 3 Likes |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by naijaboiy: 9:30am On Mar 09, 2015 |
CloneX:Bro! |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by naijaboiy: 9:32am On Mar 09, 2015 |
PunkyBrewster:So his sister cannot forget her bra in his house abi? |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 9:33am On Mar 09, 2015 |
Beamborla:tell me ur lies, |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 9:35am On Mar 09, 2015 |
naijaboiy: Why create him a fake sister now? Like I said, he had a live in lover/wife! No ghost sister. |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by naijaboiy: 9:36am On Mar 09, 2015 |
PunkyBrewster:I cant create,,i'm not God. If you wanted to shag him you would have. You didn't need those excuses. 1 Like |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 9:40am On Mar 09, 2015 |
naijaboiy: My libido flopped like a poorly done soufflé after realising he was a two timing swine. I've got standards & boundaries. I don't boink liars. So that was enough reason for me to leave him nursing his D. |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by leshluap(m): 9:40am On Mar 09, 2015 |
I don't like money. |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 9:40am On Mar 09, 2015 |
Men and lies,smh... |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by OohMpa: 9:42am On Mar 09, 2015 |
PunkyBrewster: Women....always interrupting a man's konji For all we know he could be a bra collector 1 Like |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by Beamborla(f): 9:42am On Mar 09, 2015 |
Ipledge:I don't like money |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 9:43am On Mar 09, 2015 |
OohMpa: Well, he wasn't a bra collector! How ridiculous! |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 9:43am On Mar 09, 2015 |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by naijaboiy: 9:45am On Mar 09, 2015 |
PunkyBrewster: And you haven't lied yourself? He's just one out of the many guys who have lied to you and still shagged you |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by Beamborla(f): 9:50am On Mar 09, 2015 |
Ipledge:Lol... I've never said that to anyone. My dumbest lie? what lie can that be... Gaskiya! I'm not sure I've told any dumb lie |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 9:50am On Mar 09, 2015 |
naijaboiy: Correction, he didn't shag me. Maybe he shagged himself though after I left him with blue balls. Who knows? Who cares? Btw, I haven't been with that many guys ? I feel my nose growing? Is it showing? Kikikiki |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by Tapout(m): 9:54am On Mar 09, 2015 |
naijaboiy: 3 Likes
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Re: The Dumbest Lies by naijaboiy: 9:54am On Mar 09, 2015 |
PunkyBrewster:@bolded you're funny in a sexy type of way He didn't shag you but other guys who have lied had. Pinocchio |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 9:56am On Mar 09, 2015 |
naijaboiy: They got lucky, for if I knew *cocks pistol* |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by naijaboiy: 10:00am On Mar 09, 2015 |
PunkyBrewster:You cant turn back the hands of the clock So what are the lies you've told to stop a guy from shagging you |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by Laitesmart(m): 10:06am On Mar 09, 2015 |
Beamborla: Let's give it to u!!! The dumbest lie is not having lied ever!!!! |
Re: The Dumbest Lies by Nobody: 10:19am On Mar 09, 2015 |
naijaboiy: Please, don't try to turn me into a serial killer because I still have a few scores to settle with some of them. Its better to just let sleeping dogs lie & not think about the past. Lie I've told? Hold on to your seat... Dated another guy, can't remember where he was from but he wasn't from my country. Anyways, his friend was throwing a house warming party so he asked me to go with him. There were about 8 people (4 females + 4 males) & one tiny car. So all of us just packed into the car & I sat on my guy's lap. As I sat I started to feel really uncomfortable because something hard was poking my butt. It was during the time when Nokia 5110 was the ish & all the trendy people had one. I thought I was sitting on a huge phone lol, so I put my hand under, to shift it & got shocked when I realised what I was touching. The guy was gigantic! It felt like the trunk of a small tree. I had to fake several periods before he got tired of me & disappeared altogether. Thank God for that 1 Like |
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