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Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? - Romance - Nairaland

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What Do I Do? She Insists We Must Have Sex In Our Relationship / She Is A Born Again. How Do We Make Our Relationship Romantic? / He Ended Our Relationship Few Days To Our Wedding.......... Lady Cries (2) (3) (4)

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Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by RelCapsules(m): 2:03pm On Mar 09, 2015
Hello Readers,

Am Jane. I have been in a relationship for two years now and I have been struggling with my partner.
We both love each other and have plans for marriage. When we started the relationship, I gave him some conditions which he agreed to. I told him no sex and no sleeping over at his house. He agreed to it and things went on smoothly. We usually go out on dates and visitation to friend's place which helps us overcome the temptation.
Suddenly after one year, he started requesting for sex. I reminded him of our agreement but it fell on deaf ears. He threatned to leave me if I don't prove the love I have for him.He has stopped picking my calls and answering my chats. I really love him and I don't want to loose him. Have been thinking of allowing him but am also scared. My parents know about us likewise his. His friends and my friends are so eager for the wedding day. I can't imagine the shame of a break up. He is a cool guy and has been taking care of me too. We plan to settle down around August this year. Does it really matter that we involve sex as we plan ahead?
Do you think I should let him or let go which seems so hard for me?
Am so confused

Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by greatestboss(m): 2:04pm On Mar 09, 2015
.
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by Elslim: 2:07pm On Mar 09, 2015
Nnna YES oooo... b4 another woman gives him what he has been missing
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by iceberylin(m): 2:08pm On Mar 09, 2015
Two years shocked

Some guys dh tolerate sha angry
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by dejt4u(m): 2:09pm On Mar 09, 2015
Op..are u a gay?
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by xpac01(m): 2:10pm On Mar 09, 2015
Urrm, do you guy kiss and cuddle.? And, please! tell me do your parents support gayism?!
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by CloneX: 2:33pm On Mar 09, 2015
Sex is wholly overrated.

3 Likes

Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by sinaj(f): 2:54pm On Mar 09, 2015
say diz to him nd he wil forget bout sex...
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by raziboi(m): 3:06pm On Mar 09, 2015
YES....if he rapes some1 nw....nah u go still complain....


am just being transparent......!!! two years ain't 2 hours
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by Nobody: 3:07pm On Mar 09, 2015
if you are not a virgin, get down and take that banana.

1 Like

Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by djeezy(m): 3:12pm On Mar 09, 2015
Op. He wants to test the car before he buys it. When you decide to give it to him, be very good at it cheesy. If you don't wanna do it, prepare for anything that happens thereafter. Choice is yours.

1 Like

Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by DaGC(m): 4:04pm On Mar 09, 2015
Up to you. It's your call wink
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by Melahou(m): 4:14pm On Mar 09, 2015
give him oooohhhh #shouting

1 year and no sex? Abah father....

arrangement ko...reorganization ni
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by Nobody: 4:27pm On Mar 09, 2015
RelCapsules:
Hello Readers,

Am Jane. I have been in a relationship for two years now and I have been struggling with my partner.
We both love each other and have plans for marriage. When we started the relationship, I gave him some conditions which he agreed to. I told him no sex and no sleeping over at his house. He agreed to it and things went on smoothly. We usually go out on dates and visitation to friend's place which helps us overcome the temptation.
Suddenly after one year, he started requesting for sex. I reminded him of our agreement but it fell on deaf ears. He threatned to leave me if I don't prove the love I have for him.He has stopped picking my calls and answering my chats. I really love him and I don't want to loose him. Have been thinking of allowing him but am also scared. My parents know about us likewise his. His friends and my friends are so eager for the wedding day. I can't imagine the shame of a break up. He is a cool guy and has been taking care of me too. We plan to settle down around August this year. Does it really matter that we involve sex as we plan ahead?
Do you think I should let him or let go which seems so hard for me?
Am so confused


I am suspicious of this guy.

After two years of being okay with celibacy PLUS wedding close at hand AND now he is requesting for sex?

What? He couldn't wait until after wedding day to seal the deal? And most importantly, why?

I should think it's major COLD FEET! He wants a test drive before he purchases. He is questioning your sexual compatibility in his head.


Here is the breakdown of different scenarios:

Post wedding coitu*s: if you wait after wedding day and the wedding night sex is "bad" (in his eyes), then he may either resent you, leave you or stay and cheat on you.

If you give him sex and it's good, well......okay. Win-win perhaps depending on a number of this guys' intentions/character. I mean, let's not forget that he 'coerced' you to have sex within him. That's a bit of a red-flag.

Pre-wedding coitu*s: If you give him sex and it isn't good, he calls of the engagement. Also a win win in the long run. Hurts for you though short term.

Bottom line: The answer depends on where your principles and values lie. Why were you celibate in the first place? What do you stand to loose if you either give him sex before or after? Are you prepared to deal with the consequences whichever choice you make.

Good God, good luck.

#haba

1 Like

Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by Nobody: 4:30pm On Mar 09, 2015
Xiadnat:


I am suspicious of this guy.

After two years of being okay with celibacy PLUS wedding close at hand AND now he is requesting for sex?

What? He couldn't wait until after wedding day to seal the deal? And most importantly, why?

I should think it's major COLD FEET! He wants a test drive before he purchases. He is questioning your sexual compatibility in his head.


Here is the breakdown of different scenarios:

Post wedding coitus: if you wait after wedding day and the wedding night sex is "bad" (in his eyes), then he may either resent you, leave you or stay and cheat on you.

If you give him sex and it's good, well......okay. Win-win perhaps depending on a number of this guys' intentions/character. I mean, let's not forget that he 'coerced' you to have sex within him. That's a bit of a red-flag.

Pre-wedding coitus: If you give him sex and it isn't good, he calls of the engagement. Also a win win in the long run. Hurts for you though short term.

Bottom line: The answer depends on where your principles and values lie. Why were you celibate in the first place? What do you stand to loose if you either give him sex before or after? Are you prepared to deal with the consequences whichever choice you make.

Good God, good luck.

#haba
Phew!
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by Nobody: 4:36pm On Mar 09, 2015
Blackett:
Phew!

Damn right.



BTW: hello you. grin
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by Nobody: 4:39pm On Mar 09, 2015
Xiadnat:


Damn right.



BTW: hello you. grin
Hi. Slept well?
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by Nobody: 4:42pm On Mar 09, 2015
Blackett:
Hi. Slept well?

What is it obvious? I forgot to "spring" forward. Didn't set my alarm clock one hour ahead. Went to work one hour late. How embarrassing.

I said good morning to you tho, forgetting mmm

BTW: blackett really? tongue Wot 'appened? u went to court? grin
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by MizMyColi(f): 4:42pm On Mar 09, 2015
This was my reply on that blog post.
I never knew the owner was connected to NL as at when I visited the blog.


Hi there.
I think I have an idea how it feels.

What are your thoughts? Are you willing to bow to the pressure? Are both of you ready to make do with the fact that your relationship might not remain the same again?

I do not practise mainstream religion, matter of fact, I left institutional christianity and most of her teachings a while back. But there is something about the sacredness of sex that transcends the walls of religion as far as I'm concerned.

Why engage in an act that you won't be fully committed to?
Why have sex and end up riddled with so much guilt while you're at it and immediately you're done?

My views on this matter remains largely subjective, and I won't try to sound so legalistic with you my dear, no I won't. We've all had our failings as individuals.

If the guy loves you, whatever it takes, make him see reasons. Perhaps he has a complex, tell him you find him attractive, massage his ego, cry if you have to, you've come too far to let your anything weaken your resolve. I congratulate you, keep on.

If you demand monetary gifts from him, inter alia --- now might be the time to stop!

If all else fails, you might wanna give the relationship space.

Should he make good on his threat and leave you, he was never truly yours and I daresay, might have ulterior motives. If you think you'll regret your not giving it to him after coming this far, think again.

Last word to the guy, whoever he is; BE REASONABLE
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by Nobody: 4:45pm On Mar 09, 2015
2years is too much.... WTF
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by Nobody: 4:50pm On Mar 09, 2015
Xiadnat:


What is it obvious? I forgot to "spring" forward. Didn't set my alarm clock one hour ahead. Went to work one hour late. How embarrassing.

I said good morning to you tho, forgetting mmm

BTW: blackett really? tongue Wot 'appened? u went to court? grin
Hehe. I know a judge. cheesy
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by ozodigboo(m): 6:05pm On Mar 09, 2015
You have to answer some questions yourself, before coming here.

Are you a virgin ?_ if u are not, then its pure wickedness to expect your guy to stay 2 yrs without, while you are enjoying, or have enjoyed. If u are a virgin, its understandable. But u need to understand the male anatomy. Its harmful to the body for a young man to stay that looong without.

Symptoms of lack of sex, include aggression, irritability, nervousness, swollen scrotal sac, mental disturbances etc. These can all affect your relationship.

In a relationship, i know you wouldn't want your BF to cheat. But u will be unfair to expect him not to cheat, without you giving him sex for 2 yrs.
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by Akynzodeighbour(m): 6:15pm On Mar 09, 2015
August is around the corner, why hin hot dey blood, but something is looking fishy here o, why will he threaten to dump you coz of sex few months to the wedding, its wedding someone is threatening to dump for coz of sex, maybe the side chick isn't giving him sex again, keep the bed undefiled
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by Nobody: 6:20pm On Mar 09, 2015
RelCapsules:
Hello Readers,

Am Jane. I have been in a relationship for two years now and I have been struggling with my partner.
We both love each other and have plans for marriage. When we started the relationship, I gave him some conditions which he agreed to. I told him no sex and no sleeping over at his house. He agreed to it and things went on smoothly. We usually go out on dates and visitation to friend's place which helps us overcome the temptation.
Suddenly after one year, he started requesting for sex. I reminded him of our agreement but it fell on deaf ears. He threatned to leave me if I don't prove the love I have for him.He has stopped picking my calls and answering my chats. I really love him and I don't want to loose him. Have been thinking of allowing him but am also scared. My parents know about us likewise his. His friends and my friends are so eager for the wedding day. I can't imagine the shame of a break up. He is a cool guy and has been taking care of me too. We plan to settle down around August this year. Does it really matter that we involve sex as we plan ahead?
Do you think I should let him or let go which seems so hard for me?
Am so confused


Haba op two good years....are you a nun...for fuvcking sake you are heartless...if you think the guy have not being having sex somewhere else they your brain needs to be checked....some ladies are just so wicked and heartless...

I don't fuvcking believe in a no SEX relationship...if it gonna be,bring it on and make it last...the guy is a fool....

Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by cutecanson(m): 6:50pm On Mar 09, 2015
firstEVA:
if you are not a virgin, get down and take that banana.
nice one
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by Nobody: 6:55pm On Mar 09, 2015
Pevert Generation.
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by Staru1(m): 7:07pm On Mar 09, 2015
10 factors why you denied/denying him sex.
1. Either u lied to him dat u re a virgin! While u re not. U knw once he enters,he will found out.
2. Ur tin is too wide,too open(cause by regular nacking)
3. Are u a deeper life member? No bcs u often hv date with him.
4. U make mention of ''temptation'', since ur guys kiss and romance, u re tempted already.
5. Maybe u be lessbain.
6. Runs girl (cheater), another person is washing car and another person is driving.
7. If u re a virgin,keep ur diginity,...
But a situtation dat u hv tested banna or testing banna, u dnt deserve him.
8. Are a HIV patient or him? If not ,why must u prevent a man dat hv made ur relationship bold bcs u said his parents knows u.
9. Are u treating ur STIs,and u believe to be ok in two yrs time?
10. Do u ever love him at all? Bcs he hv already fixed ur wedding date,check, there is some behind ur vargina.
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by Adaeze003(f): 7:23pm On Mar 09, 2015
I don't know if jane will see this but...

Miss Jane, most of the people on this thread are out of their minds asking you to have sex with this dude with reasons like "2 years is too long" "why starve a guy"... bla bla bla...

I'm here on the other hand to remind you that it's all about you! Not some guy that's not related to you in any way! Yeah, committed relationship or not, if you aint married, you aint married! And until you are, you live for yourself. kiss

Don't have sex coz you want to save any relationship, do it if YOU want to virgin or not! If he wants to get married to you, he will... and if not? The sex won't make a difference.

A word is enough... not later now you'll start threatening to curse him if he leaves coz that shii don't work.

2 kobo wink

1 Like

Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by jmoore(m): 7:43pm On Mar 09, 2015
The bigger shame is after he must have "used" you, impregnated you and dumped you.

Standards are meant to protect you. Are your own standards for cosmetic purpose only?
Re: Hello Readers: Do I Allow Him Have Sex With Me To Keep Our Relationship? by Staru1(m): 9:52pm On Mar 09, 2015
U dey crazy oo

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