Please i need matured advice,where did i got it wrong,this might be long but please try and read it to the end,its the summary of all that as happened to me,one thing i know is that i am too young when i went into relationship,i actually thought i could cope,but now,i'm not so sure if i could any longer,thats why i need advice,i'm 21 presently and an 100level student,i fell in love since my junior secondary school(you know all those senior boy and senior girl stuffs now,na joke i call am,but its giving me headache right now and i need matured advice and encouragements.Please help me.

Their is this girl i so much love since my junior secondary school and i know she loves me too,we started dating when we were in SSS3 she traveled after our final exam,while she was away i broke up with her,the reason for this is because when she was away,she changed,no matter how much i call her she dosen't return my calls,the reason for this i don't know,i asked her but all she use to say is she's sorry.Later on,a friend of mine that also resides at the town she stays too got in contact with her through one of his friends,he was the one who told me that my Girl friend is already dating someone else,he said she is actually dating one of his own friends,but before my friend told me that,their was a time she told me that she saw that my friend, in that town,i asked where,she said where she is working that he came their to buy some products.I would have asked her about what my friend told me but i didn't want to implicate my friend,due to this and the way she really changed was why i broke up with her.

Later on,after like a year and an half,she gained admission to the university and she came back home,during this time i was doing my Pre degree in that same school she got admission to.When she got to school she met a guy who happens to be my friend in senior secondary school(NB: she and i didnt attend the same senior secondary school),my friend in the sense that we were rivals academically but he is a bit more brilliant back then,he was the prefect while i was his assistant,,they became friends,my friend even told me when they met but the way he told me was like he wants to know wether we are still dating or not because he told me how she didnt speak well of me,how she said its been a while since we talked.

Because she is now at home,we became friends again and little by little it all started again,we became very close but still friends.
When i discovered that we are close again i asked her out,she turned me down at first but later she said yes and that was how we started again,then,she told me about the guy she dated when i broke up with her and all that.She asked if i dated anyone but i said no because i didnt date anyone.

Now later on,i discovered she is very close to that my friend that we went to the same senior secondary school together because all the time,it will always be him she is talking about,him here,him there,i became uncomfortable with it and i told her what it is about the guy,that was when she started telling me all that the guy did for her and how much the guy would have asked her out but she is always telling him not to try it cos she wil turn him down.

I didn't believe her on this,this my guy is more matured than for him to ask her out when he knew that we are dating again.Because of my disbelieve,i decided to find out whats really going on so that i wont waste my time.

I went through her whatsapp chat with him(which happened some before and some after we started dating again) and i saw how she use to visit him,how the guy use to tell her that she needs to reduce all her flirtrings with him cos he and i are friends against what she told me that the guy wanted to ask her out(NB:These my freind didnt know when we break up,all he thought was that we are still dating),although with the way they chat,we would have ask her oiut but just because of me,how she told him we are no more dating and all that.

Because all chats happened when we are not dating i didnt mind but i discovered that it didnt stop even when we started dating,i saw all the chats all the flirtrings and i started doubting if she really loves me anymore.

I didnt tell her anything,neither do i react in any way,just that i told her that she needs to stop all this talk of this guy all the time,especially when ever we are together and she said no problem,i told her about other guys too,that flirtring too much with guys makes her look cheap and its not good for girls.

She reduced telling me about my friend but didnt stop neither did she stop all her flirtings with guys,i thought that maybe thats her own way of life so i kept quiet.

One day we went out with an elderly person to go collect our NIMC temporary card,when we are coming back,she said she needs to branch to school that she needs to see a friend of ours,i said alright but the person with us said i should just go with her that he will see us at later,so we left for school together.

When we got to school,she called the person she wanted to meet,to my surprise,it was my friend,he told her that he is in the bank,we went there,i waited outside while she went inside to meet him,i thought it wont take time because i told her that we wont stay too long in school and she said no problem.

After a while she came out and we sat down under a tree,later the guy came to meet us there,then he asked her wether she carried her bag with her when she was living the bank and she said no,he said he told her to help carry the bag now,he went back to carry the bag,and to my surprise,not upto 30s that he left,my girl friend said she wants to go and meet him,i asked why and she said because she told her to help carry the bag earlier on and she didn't,i told her that but he just left now,she sha begged me to let her go and i said alright,they were there for like 15minutes,when i didnt see them,i went to check on them and i saw the two of them standing and talking,it made me angry but i just called my girl friend and we all went back to where we were sitting,because of the insident i said we should start going,we all left together,but as we were going,i was isolated,the two of them standing together and discussing,i can see the intemacy in the way they talk,the body touch and all that even in my presence.

Then the guy asked her if she will be able to take him to the place they have discussed,but she didnt answer,it was later on that i got to know that she as promised him to take him to the place where she will register his NIMC card i.e the exact place we were coming from,when we got to where we will take bike,the guy said wont she take her to the place again,she then asked me that we should go together and i said no,that was when i talk sense into her brain and that of my friend on what they have been doing since we got to school,my friend begged me and started blaming her that she is the cause of it all,he said he told her to go back to where we are sitting down when we found the bag but she refused,she said it as always been her causing such things and she use to warn her not put him in the middle,he begged me and he left,then we also take bike to go and met the elderly person that we left together in the morning,before we got there again,i really made her know that she dissapointed me and all that,to the extent that she almost cried,she couldnt go to see the person again,she decided to just go home,after an hour and some minutes,she called me and said she is sorry and i said thats all.

That ends there but not long ago,she wrote it as a status update that,some people can't just forgive and then i asked her what she meant,she said its a friend that she had a fight with who is not ready to let it go,then i asked her which of her friend,she didnt want to tell me but after much pressure,she said its that my friend,i asked her that did she offend him and she said yes i said again? In what way,she now said he promised to visit her at home on a thursday and that she gave him time to come,she said the day he was to visit,i was with her at that time,so my friend was calling but because we are together,she desided not to answer it,so that was why he is begging him that she is sorry for not answering d call.
I then told her that why would he come visit her and that this time i would confront him to stay away from my girl,that was when my girl friend begged me not to,she said since that incident of school happened,he as stayed away from her but she called him one day and told him why he as been avoiding her and all that,then he said he is sorry and that he would visit her on that very day.

I told her i was disapointed in her and that i never knew that she can do such a thing,she begged me again that she is sorry and i said no problem,she promised not to go back to him and i said i think that will be better.
But when we resume for 100level and they resumed for 200level,things were going on well,but one day like after 2 to 3 weeks that she told me to stay away from him,i saw them together again but i didnt wait to greet them,i just left,the guy we are going together was the one that waited to greet them,later that day my girl friend came to me and asked why i did what i did,i said because i don't want to witness what as happened before especially when she said she will stay away from him and yet she didnt,she then said is that how i will always avoid them if i see them together and i said yes,untill i have assurance that i'm safe.
We left school together but not in a good mood,since then,like 4 days now,she as not called and i decisided not to call too because i'm tired of been the bigger person all time.

Did i do the right thing,in what way did i get things wrong,i'm i too jealous or i acted the normal way i should all through the relationship,should i call her,should i continue the relationship with her.

Please advice me maturedly and please don't tell me to leave her cos of my age i need better reasons.Thanks.

Wow! U r even cool and patient. .

MODIFIED

humanpsycho(a post below) said it all well...

Am allergic to long post

Kaiiii walahi zis your post too much pa



I can't read it all

***Yawns*** this kind of long epistle should be in the Literature Section!




Let me sleep first, I will advice you when I wake Up jawe!

Will reply wen u learn summary and correct use of English¡







Face ur GSS man! u ain't ready 4 dis!

Jis scrolled thru, read comments and I'm out...this ur post long die!!

Please guys,i need your advice/encouragement.

I'm sorry for the blunders,i was rushing and i even typied all this with my Nokia x2.

Formula Encyclo-estimator....
write a program to cal d total numbers of word in d posted essays... ETNW=EWPL*TNL
where parameters and values are stated below.....
ETNW=ESTIMATED TOTAL NUMBER OF WORDS
EWPL=EST... WORD PER LINE
TNL=TOTAL NUMBER OF LINES..
WHERE EWPL LIES IN THE RANGE(7,9) & TNL=RANGE(241,245)... ITERATE TO FIND ALL POSSIBLE ANSWERS

I have read through your talking points and I am writing back because I understand what you're feeling. If i were a pickup artist, I would ask you to go on to meet new girls, because I discovered you're getting into the dreaded pattern, you are in an obssesive state and you have given the girl so much power. Now she owns you. But i'd advice you to stay off! FORGET HER and save your time. She would come begging and if she doesn't, Then she isn't yours. Psychologically speaking: sometimes young women with more suitors try to provide themselves with reasons to be with you, secretly liking you but asking themselves the question if you are the best they can get and they do this on a subconcious level without your knowledge as the guy. If you chase, it will backfire and chasing will only drop attraction. All along there was something wrong in your game.
Well, My Advice:? try and take your affections to someone similar and willing. If not, you will be trying to a dead end. At worst she won't come back and you will get over it. And better still lady might rethink she is loosing you, that if she has fond memories of you. And between why do you want to continue with someone inauthentic as the one you discribed. THINK AGAIN.

OP WERE YOU BORN IN THE OLD TESTAMENT ?
NA WA FOR YOUR LONG EPISTLE

Ohhhh Shiiiiiiiit Mehn



Is your popsi a Prof?

Thanks for your comment,i really appreciate it.

HumanPsycho:

All along there was something wrong in your game.

What is it that is wrong,i wanna know.

HumanPsycho:

Well, I will call it a game because you obviously weren't in it for marriage, are you?

If she would have been more commited as i am,i wouldn't mind getting married to her some day.

Well...op i manged to read ur post.
Its better u free d girl. Shes long gone. She has already developed feelings for ur friend. She will just face u one day and tell u shes no longer interested. Move on ASAP

Anybody read dt?

Run faster dan ur legs can carry u..
U deserve better.. nd better dnt listen to dose crocodile tears..

Show interest in som1 else.. giv her little of ur tym.. mayb u cud reset her senses..

SIRANT:

If she would have been more commited as i am,i wouldn't mind getting married to her some day.

Commited for how long.? com'on lets be real. This girl wants adventure and dosage of fun. She isn't authentic or ready for such long term commitment. Just do what I say to save your self. I know its difficult but you gotta be a man superior ladies desire.

I'll really commend u for been so patient for dat long

If I were u I'd just stay away from d babe and d guy too cos a true friend would neva betray u to such extent,just try and forget her no matter how hardit would be.

Walk away dude. She and your friend seem to enjoy the company of each other. I don't think they are separable. Your presence hasn't dissuaded them from conversing intimately. Imagine what goes on when they are in private! Shake off the puppy love and slam the door against her for good.
It may sound derogatory to talk about your age and educational status. They mean a lot, especially your school status. Invest more in academics. An unstable troubled love relationship is poisonous to sound educational development. Dude, you've got to temporarily detach yourself from emotion-sapping love nests. Establish yourself first in your course of study. Love comes later, much better.

HumanPsycho:
I have read through your talking points and I am writing back because I understand what you're feeling. If i were a pickup artist, I would ask you to go on to meet new girls, because I discovered you're getting into the dreaded pattern, you are in an obssesive state and you have given the girl so much power. Now she owns you. But i'd advice you to stay off! FORGET HER and save your time. She would come begging and if she doesn't, Then she isn't yours. Psychologically speaking: sometimes young women with more suitors try to provide themselves with reasons to be with you, secretly liking you but asking themselves the question if you are the best they can get and they do this on a subconcious level without your knowledge as the guy. If you chase, it will backfire and chasing will only drop attraction. All along there was something wrong in your game.
Well, My Advice:? try and take your affections to someone similar and willing. If not, you will be trying to a dead end. At worst she won't come back and you will get over it. And better still lady might rethink she is loosing you, that if she has fond memories of you. And between why do you want to continue with someone inauthentic as the one you discribed. THINK AGAIN.

SECONDED.
bros she doesn't like you..
You even need an angel to tell you that?
Come out of the obsession please

Thanks to you all for your contribution,i so much appreciate it,you guys are the best.
@Ojestas,
@falconey,
@Fulaboy,
@banjicom,
@cally3D,
@illswift,
@aphildam,
@LewisO,
@Kayoski,
@DonaldGenes,
@horlahwaley,
@SLIDEwaxie,
@Redlips22,
@HumanPsycho,
@stam101,
@CounsellorWise,
@Optimall,

You are only 21 and still have a long way to go... free her concentrate on your studies for now there will be time for girls much later... if you go gree o!

Do d needful first

Girls come later