What Do U Make Of These: Pls? - Romance - Nairaland
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| What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by jibbygirl(f): 10:15am On Jan 18, 2009 |
hi all, I'm sorry if this seems too long and boring but i want to give u a clear picture of the situation and Ur candid opinions will be appreciated. there is this guy i meet a few months back. for the first one week, he was calling me, sending text messages and saying that he was madly i love with me. Funnily, all these happened after seeing eachother just once so it got me sceptical that how could someone that met u just once be feeling this way about u so i was not really responsive and i made him realise that he sounded to really to be true. After about two weeks, he started to withdrawal but i had begun to like him then. He stopped calling, texting and when i sent texts to him, he didn't reply, then i said to hell and we stopped communicating for close to 3 months. about two months ago, he called me with a strange number telling me he was sorry for not calling or responding to my texts that he felt discouraged and I said ok. To cut the long story short, we meet for the second time this month and he kissed me. it felt good kissing him and i didn't resist it. Told me he loves me so much and that he wants a serious relatinship with me to which i consented. But the problem now is his attitude, Atimes he might not call me for two days, he will tell me he's coming, he won't show up and when we talk he won't give excuses or explanation for his actions. Pls what do u think i should do? Atimes i feel he is doing things to hurt me intentionally, to get back at me for what happened when we first met. Funnily, I've fallen in love with him. when he doesn't call, i don't call him either cos i hate it when pple take me for granted. We've not spoken for 3 days now and I'm dying to be with him again. pls advise me on what to do and I'm sorry for the long story.     1 Like |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by Sapphic: 10:35am On Jan 18, 2009 |
jibbygirl: This one is easy. You are in the early days of a relationship and he is already treating you like crap. Drop him like a bad habit mate. The highlighted section is enough for me to dump a serious boyfriend/girlfriend, talk much less of early romance. Let me tell you, you had better respect yourself, cos if you accept him treating you shabbily, you are in for a much more rocky road ahead. Forget all these your professions of love. It is unlikely to be love you feel. You will inevitably get over him and get someone who would treat you with the respect and courtesy you so rightly deserve. |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by Nobody: 10:40am On Jan 18, 2009 |
i co-sign sapphic. its still early days. drop that guy and purge your system of everything about him. sapphic, are you outlukbabe or aunty blissy? |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by Pennywise(m): 10:42am On Jan 18, 2009 |
@OP You obviously love this guy. So you have to do what you can to make it work between you. First, Let him know you love him.That disarms most guys completely.Manifest this love by your presence, attention and communication and then try to know him.Many potentially great relationships have been marred by unnecessary show of ego.But the most important thing is knowing if the guy has good values, decent and respectful of people. In order words if he has shame.Some guys are cold blooded and simply dont have shame.Continuing on that path with a guy like that who doesnt appreciate you will amount to forcing ur self on him which is not good whether it works out or not. Yes it is possible he is upset you played too hard to get. I can relate to a guy getting upset when a girl does that. I did waste my time and money on one, once.She was still running not knowing I had cut her loose.When she looked back I was far gone and it was time for her to do the chase.And what a frustrating chase it was. |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by Sapphic: 10:56am On Jan 18, 2009 |
Pennywise: I don't know you from Adam, but I think it might be a huge mistake telling him that you love him especially during this period that he is treating you like shit. If a guy only spends one or two weeks pursuing you (not that he was showering you with gifts or taking you out endlessly o) and he feels that that is all you are worth for him to give up, I believe that alone tells the story. Do not be fooled, once he knows you've got it bad, you will be in for a nightmarish ride. Guys are used to chasing/toasting girls, and believe me when a guy really really wants you, he will spend a great deal of time (and resources) trying to get you to be his girlfriend. The guy telling you he loves you after one day is enough for you to read the writing on the wall. It is up to you whether you cut your losses now and deal with your little heartbreak or let the guy use you good and proper only to dump you in the end. It is your decision, but a word is enough for the wise. @ Omo Nna, na which one be all this Aunty talk na? You know say you dey old enough to born me na. LOL  |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by Pennywise(m): 11:08am On Jan 18, 2009 |
Sapphic:If you take Sapphic advise, you will be 38 and still be waiting for that guy who really really . . . . . .The issue of having been used when a relationship goes bust has no real meaning in modern day application. Afterall you were not bethrotted. |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by Nobody: 11:13am On Jan 18, 2009 |
again, i co-sign sapphic. if he cant be bothered to put in any effort at this early stage then stuff him. my sister would say 'dem no dey beg shit to smell' i dont know of anyguy that'd be so withdrawn early on in a relationship. sapphic, i be small pikin oooo. but make u identify yourself. |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by Sapphic: 11:17am On Jan 18, 2009 |
OMO IBO: The thing tire me o. Even Oyinbo boys wey no dey do marathon chasing no dey give up after one week or two. talk much less of Naija boy in Naija for that matter. C u guys later. Bye. |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by Czarskit(m): 11:19am On Jan 18, 2009 |
Listen real gud girl! Ur man seems 'disturbed' and there's only one reason 4 dat, and it's U! (2 every action, there's an equal & opposite reaction) Probably he isn't getting what he expected or dere's more 2 it. Search urslf deeply, ur past in specific. I think y'all should do a lot of talking & tell him what u 'believe' he nids 2 know (not ur secrets though). Gud Luck! |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by HorneyChic(f): 11:20am On Jan 18, 2009 |
Give a littke time, maybe he'll come through. |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by sheyee(m): 11:30am On Jan 18, 2009 |
@ poster, The guy is not the serious type you better dont waste your time. |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by goodass(m): 11:39am On Jan 18, 2009 |
do u know wat u want sef? ow well u know him? if he's treatin yu ds way now, ow wil he treat yu later? yoruba adage says d eye wey go last till 9t no dey ooze puss in d morng. gf, d signs r there 4u 2c now. if yu no shine ur eye, pls dont com bak here and tell us '9.ja guyz r ds or dat' a word is enof 4d wise. |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by amebono14: 12:07pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
Pennywise: poster if u take pennywise's advise,then you are going to end up used and dumped let him go,and make urself available to other pple,dont let the guy block ur way,else u will be 40 yet nobody will even say a hello to u @pennywise wats d use of staying in a fruitless relationship?if at d beginning stage its dis stupid then when will it be sweet |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by JayCee100: 12:08pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
listen to sapphic! except you want to get reeeealy hurt |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by blackmann(m): 12:25pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
Saying he loves u and still treats u like this? At this early stage of the "relationship"? Baby, talk to ur feet. Take a hike!!! He aint worth sh@t. From my own angle, i feel he just wants to end up taking u tpo bed, and when he has had u a couple of times, he'll just drop u like a used tissue. Let him know ur feelings, and if he doesn't change, take my advice. But DONT, and i repeat, DONT let him coerce u into sleeping with u. |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by Sapphic: 4:00pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
Pennywise: Says who? Look, I always say to people, define the relationship you are going into. If I am going into a relationship for the sex, then I know that is what I want and that is what I will get. What use will it be to the poster if she is thinking that this relationship can lead somewhere when all the guy probably wants is to use her as a hit-and-run or booty call? If she just wants to shag him, then that's fine. For her sake, I hope she does not go blindly into this. As my people say, It is from the daytime that you will know how the night is going to be. So poster be aware. |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by Pennywise(m): 4:09pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
Sapphic:Look every guy needs shagging- you have to beware of the rare occassional dude who says he doesnt.Having said that you can get all of his heart while he meets his shagging needs elsewhere.It takes exceptional stroke of good fortune for such arrangement to lead to marriage. |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by Sapphic: 4:13pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
That may well be, but like I said, know what you are getting into. I'm not talking about marriage at all. Not all relationships lead to marriage, but why go into one knowing you are not even respected. If she is fine with being treated like crap, then she can go ahead, but if she feels bad at the way he is treating her, then do away with his sorry ass. Ultimate decision of course lies with her as she is the only one going to feel the joys and/or the pains of this alliance. |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by jibbygirl(f): 4:14pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
i just want to say a big thank u to all posters for their contributions. I sincerely appreciate u all. A word they say is enough for the wise, thanks. better for me to let him go and move on with my life, i know it's going to hurt for a while but i believe it the best option for me. |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by goodass(m): 4:42pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
gr8 4yu jibbyg. wish yu d best |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by jibbygirl(f): 6:31pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
goodass: |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by Sapphic: 7:07pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
jibbygirl: Think of it this way. . . Better a few tears now, than major heartbreak later. I am sure you knew that the way he was terating you was not right before you posted your question here or else you won't have given it a second thought. Chin up mate. . . with the right decision, things can only get better.  (touch wood). |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by jibbygirl(f): 7:18pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
Sapphic:thanks but it feels so painful when u love someone who doesn't love u same way. |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by dizzywezzy(f): 7:44pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
i was once in d same shoes dat ur in rite now and i made a big mess of my self. everything happened like u jst explained but i kept on forcing things,thinking i could make him love me. i still had 2 leave him later and then it was rily hard cos i got so into him. he crumbled my heart. its being over a month n i avn't gotten over it yet. i totally regret d how relationship because there was no nice time, notin like d sweet begining blah blah blah. it was terrible although. so my advice 4 u is: d guy doesn't love u so and he never did so run 4 ur life b4 u get 2 d point of no control (when u start 2 luv himso much n feel like ur world revolves around him)and end up like me |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by jibbygirl(f): 8:16pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
dizzywezzy:thanks dearie, i know u are right and i really feel for u too. i've once been heart broken too and it was killing. |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by goodass(m): 8:40pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
jibbygirl: jibbygirl:gf, i wantd 2 flog yu wella in my previous post bt i softened. u told me b4 u were hrt broken so i was really taken aback wen i read ur post 2day. do u learn? plz tori Olorun u r of more value than fallin in luv jus lyk that. n if i may ask wat dd yu check out abt him b4 fallin? no need 2 rush things o, just go John Legends way 'take it slow' n b wise. all d best! |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by jibbygirl(f): 9:58pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
@goodass pls don't blame me for falling in love again. i'm lonely and really need a companion. can one really guide against falling in love |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by tope2000(f): 10:03pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
jibbygirl: Good for you, just be strong  |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by Nobody: 10:07pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
jibbygirl: get a dog. |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by Treetop20(m): 10:08pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
davidylan:or a pussycat |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by jibbygirl(f): 10:18pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
davidylan:i don't like pets |
| Re: What Do U Make Of These: Pls? by RasPwn(m): 10:33pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
When you met him, he liked certain things about you, you probably had a great conversation together and he saw you had a lot in common with him. He thought he was in love with you right away. He told you and you both got together. Fast forward to 2 weeks. Like a lot of relationships, the girl's feelings start getting the best of her when the guy's feeling for her starts dying. Like most human beings with a penis, he started getting bored. To add to these problems maybe you were the kind of girl that sat through conversations and he got bored with talking to you. He decides to take a break. Bringing my own experiences into this, I'd say he probably wanted a short break but kept procrastinating on when to call you. He's procrastinating because he knew he did you wrong and thinks you're pissed at him, the harder he procrastinated, the harder it is to call. After three months, he gets his guts right and decides to call you. The same boring thing is still affecting him but this time he's careful to take shorter breaks, he's now taking 2 weeks instead of the regular 3 months. That's what I make of it. Let's explore another probability, a simpler one too: He got in trouble went to jail and escaped after 3 months but he's still on the run and can't call you every time because the cops are still hot on his heels, tapping his phone lines. Pick option 1 or 2. |
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