.

You need to know? Ma'am you already know. You don't need us to confirm. Why do u think he's always broke?

Divorce is never the answer! But before God, infidelity is a valid ground for divorce that allows you to remarry. For a start I think you should separate and if things don't change get a divorce.

Yeah, your baby. But its better a single parent child than an orphan.

Have him go for an HIV test abeg. He will throw a tantrum about how you dont trust him bla bla bla but insist.

Wait he has sex with you once in 6 months? curious

Madam, he's having an affair with a more sophisticated lady(in his silly mind) and it has made feel you are no longer in his class. What you need now is a temporary separation like you travelling for a while or sth. Give him space to see the futility in his attitude and if you want him back, go for test before accepting him back. If you don't do this, believe me, he's not gonna get to his senses soon. He needs to miss his wife alittle and see the difference between a wife and a girlfriend.

Wifey do you have a job? Are you educated? If you are please try and get a job first so that you can start taking care of yourself and your kids.

I personally would not stand for such arrant nonsense. I mean he was not even ashamed or embarrassed when you caught him cheating but instead told you to leave. I don't think the man loves you. You cannot change a man, a man will change only when he wants to change. He is not even providing for you and the kids as well but spending any money he gets on women. Is that the type of life you want to live for the rest of your life?

I think confide in a close family member you trust such as (sister or brother) who could offer you some kind of support and advice.

Even though I don't believe in divorce this is a valid reason for such. Also these things will affect your kids at a later stage. Even though they are young they know when their mom is unhappy and sad.

you can either wallow in your sadness and feel sorry for yourself or you can do something about your situation. Everyone deserves to be happy. Don't be miserable for someone who does not give a damn about you.

IdiAmin1:
Madam, he's having an affair with a more sophisticated lady(in his silly mind) and it has made feel you are no longer in his class. What you need now is a temporary separation like you travelling for a while or sth. Give him space to see the futility in his attitude and if you want him back, go for test before accepting him back. If you don't do this, believe me, he's not gonna get to his senses soon. He needs to miss his wife alittle and see the difference between a wife and a girlfriend.

Separation will even be better for him because he will use it as an opportunity to bring women home. This man does not care at all. If your wife/ gf caught you cheating. Would you not be ashamed or embarrassed? Would you not beg for forgiveness but rather this man told her to go home? What kind of man does that? He does not love her nor gives a damn. When his wife was pregnant he did not care enough to buy some baby stuff. He rather spent that money on women. Imo a temporary separation will not work but just give him even more freedom.

Subom1:
Separation will even be better for him because he will use it as an opportunity to bring women home. This man does not care at all. If your wife/ gf caught you cheating. Would you not be ashamed or embarrassed? Would you not beg for forgiveness but rather this man told her to go home? What kind of man does that? He does not love her nor gives a damn. When his wife was pregnant he did not care enough to buy some baby stuff. He rather spent that money on women. Imo a temporary separation will not work but just give him even more freedom.

It's really sad my dear. I'm a man but honestly some men are just beasts mistakenly(God forgive me) given the body of a human

its getting out of hand, I think his parent or any elderly person in his family should b aware, same as yours........good luck

IdiAmin1:
It's really sad my dear. I'm a man but honestly some men are just beasts mistakenly(God forgive me) given the body of a human

yeah. Such men make me sick. Ì honestly have a low tolerance for such bs. This is why i strongly believe that women should start to focus on their education and getting a job and not sorely depending on men for everything. If she had her own money she would have been able to take care of herself and kids and I don't think the man would be treating her as badly. Some men do what they do unashamed because they know that the woman will go nowhere because he is the one providing her with her daily bread.

its appaling wat women subject dem selfs to. jst to bcom mrs. smh for u in 3D.

vfactor:
You need to know? Ma'am you already know. You don't need us to confirm. Why do u think he's always broke?

Divorce is never the answer! But before God, infidelity is a valid ground for divorce that allows you to remarry. For a start I think you should separate and if things don't change get a divorce.

Yeah, your baby. But its better a single parent child than an orphan.

Hiya, truth is...I DONT KNOW! He's in PH on an official trip. What if this time he's not cheating? I need to know please?! What if i'm wrong?

.

.

.

Wifey01:
Thank you. Regarding the lady I saw him having lunch with, my husband argues that he was just hanging with "a friend" so why am I making a big deal out of it? Yes, I am educated and have a decent job/income but beyond that, I am a born-again christian. I believe in stuff like "don't withhold sex from your spouse, etc". Look, the thing is my husband pays the rent of the house we all live in, pays the basic bills and buys food. All my pay goes towards the childrens school fees. If I separate from him, i'll be living under 3rd mainland bridge. I think we need each other to raise a godly family. Guys! I need help. Doesn't anyone here have contacts in PH?

Umm... Op, you need no help. The Lord is your strength. Don't bother us, biko Cc: Madam Babyosisi . Ha abiakwa ozo

vfactor:
You need to know? Ma'am you already know. You don't need us to confirm. Why do u think he's always broke?

Divorce is never the answer! But before God, infidelity is a valid ground for divorce that allows you to remarry. For a start I think you should separate and if things don't change get a divorce.

Yeah, your baby. But its better a single parent child than an orphan.

What contradiction!!

Wifey01, become independent first then other things shall be added unto you.

the truthfulnes of your story is in doubt ... *opens fridge, keeps comment*

Forget the truthfulness of my story. Okay, assuming my story is completely fictitious, what would you advice?I just need honest gut - level opinions.

sats:
the truthfulnes of your story is in doubt ... *opens fridge, keeps comment*

Subom1:
yeah. Such men make me sick. Ì honestly have a low tolerance for such bs. This is why i strongly believe that women should start to focus on their education and getting a job and not sorely depending on men for everything. If she had her own money she would have been able to take care of herself and kids and I don't think the man would be treating her as badly. Some men do what they do unashamed because they know that the woman will go nowhere because he is the one providing her with her daily bread.

Wish I can give you a kiss right now!! This is the crux of this ill-treatment that some women suffer in such marriages. A quick investigation will show that most of these women in abusive relationship can't fend on their own (like the OP). They have no reasonable income to stand on their own hence they stay back in such parasitic relationships. The abusive men know this and use it to their gain. That's why such abusive low self-esteem men don't fancy independent women that won't think twice to dump their àsses!! Some women stay back because they don't want to be sterotyped by the judgmental Nigerian society. I pity these women sometimes.

You've said it all. I'll always advice any woman to make sure she's working or sure of working before marrying. It's better to be late than sorry!!

vfactor:
You need to know? Ma'am you already know. You don't need us to confirm. Why do u think he's always broke?

Divorce is never the answer! But before God, infidelity is a valid ground for divorce that allows you to remarry. For a start I think you should separate and if things don't change get a divorce.

Yeah, your baby. But its better a single parent child than an orphan.

You are contradicting yourself with the embolden sentences in your posts. And no, sometimes, divorce is the answer. In fact in many cases sef.

ednut1:
its appaling wat women subject dem selfs to. jst to bcom mrs. smh for u in 3D.

@ednut1, you are very correct. Its easy to judge without hearing the other side(I mean the guy's). As much as I feel what he's doing is absolutely wrong, people just don't change for no reason. @OP, ask your friend what are the( evil) things she has done to make herself married to this man. It might be karma playing it's turn on her. A good girl( or guy) just don't turn bad. Some ladies would do just anything(I mean anything that you may not even be able to think of) just to get married to a guy even when it is blatantly clear that the guy doesn't love her.
My people, this guy doesn't love his wife at all. You can't feel comfortable hurting the one you love, and still be proud of it. Well, you might be lucky if prayer can change him( which I doubt), or you should get out of the miserable life. That's why it's always good for a woman not to be totally dependent on a man. I bet you most women would choose marriage over a good job of both opportunities presents themselves at the same time no matter how sketchy that marriage is. They want that marriage soo badly more than anything in this world especially if the guy is loaded. Now they start crying when the consequences come. There's hardly any man that cheats without the woman knowing while they were saying if at all they did, the woman will only turn a blind eye hopping that afterall "na me e go marry".
#SHALOM!

vfactor:
You need to know? Ma'am you already know. You don't need us to confirm. Why do u think he's always broke?

Divorce is never the answer! But before God, infidelity is a valid ground for divorce that allows you to remarry. For a start I think you should separate and if things don't change get a divorce.

Yeah, your baby. But its better a single parent child than an orphan.

seconded

DID I HEAR YOU CALL FOR A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR HOLLA AT ME FAST..... I WILL GET YOU PICTURE EVIDENCE POSSIBLY VIDEOS TOO
IF YOU ARE READY TO FINANCE IT


08182702310

Wifey01:
Hi All, I am a 32 year old unhappily married woman. I married my husband because I thought he was a born-again christian but after our wedding, my husband said he was broke and needed to travel to port-harcourt. I gave him money that MY parents gave to me as a wedding present and that night, he checked in a lady into a hotel in PH. When I found out and confronted him, he apologised and I forgave.
A year later, I became pregnant and things were really tough. He refused to give me money to shop for the baby. Kept saying "I don't have money yet. Baby is not arriving today, etc"
Then one day during my pregnancy, I saw him on the street with this really beautiful lady. He took her to a lovely restaurant for a meal and then went to the ATM to withdraw cash. From there they both went into this shop for her to shop. When I walked up to them, my husband refused to introduce us. Was upset with me and kept whispering in our native language that I should go home.
Anyway, to cut my long story short, my husband then stopped touching me. We would go for maybe 6 months or more without sex. Recently, he travelled to Port-Harcourt again at short notice and refused to tell me which hotel he was staying. He doesn't pick my calls so I don't bother. He says He is busy with work, I should flash him and when he sees my missed call, he will call back at a later and more convenient time (this could be the next day).
Life is hard guys. I am afraid that he may bring HIV/AIDS into our home. (By the way, my cousin and her husband died of AIDs, leaving 4 orphans). I need to know for sure whether my husband is having an affair so I can confront him, we can go for counselling, etc.
Please does anyone know of any private investigator that can help?

Tomorrow is Monday
Go to a doctor and get yourself tested in two different labs for HIV,hepatitis,Syphilis and gonorrhea to mention a few
If you check out negative then come back let's talk further
That is the most important advise for now
Any other advise is like leaving leprosy to treat the ringworm at the corner

mods take this to the family section for proper advise

babyosisi:


Tomorrow is Monday
Go to a doctor and get yourself tested in two different labs for HIV,hepatitis,Syphilis and gonorrhea to mention a few
If you check out negative then come back let's talk further
That is the most important advise for now
Any other advise is like leaving leprosy to treat the ringworm at the corner

Go test ursef

Sometimes I wonder if we have one faithful man left on this planet

Wifey01:
Hi All, I am a 32 year old unhappily married woman. I married my husband because I thought he was a born-again christian but after our wedding, my husband said he was broke and needed to travel to port-harcourt. I gave him money that MY parents gave to me as a wedding present and that night, he checked in a lady into a hotel in PH. When I found out and confronted him, he apologised and I forgave.
A year later, I became pregnant and things were really tough. He refused to give me money to shop for the baby. Kept saying "I don't have money yet. Baby is not arriving today, etc"
Then one day during my pregnancy, I saw him on the street with this really beautiful lady. He took her to a lovely restaurant for a meal and then went to the ATM to withdraw cash. From there they both went into this shop for her to shop. When I walked up to them, my husband refused to introduce us. Was upset with me and kept whispering in our native language that I should go home.
Anyway, to cut my long story short, my husband then stopped touching me. We would go for maybe 6 months or more without sex. Recently, he travelled to Port-Harcourt again at short notice and refused to tell me which hotel he was staying. He doesn't pick my calls so I don't bother. He says He is busy with work, I should flash him and when he sees my missed call, he will call back at a later and more convenient time (this could be the next day).
Life is hard guys. I am afraid that he may bring HIV/AIDS into our home. (By the way, my cousin and her husband died of AIDs, leaving 4 orphans). I need to know for sure whether my husband is having an affair so I can confront him, we can go for counselling, etc.
Please does anyone know of any private investigator that can help?

ma'am you already know the answer but what you need is absolution for you and your kids!
1.work on yourself mentally and most especially financial wise.it is important.
seeing how it is now,at least have a job or run a business to cater for housekeeping,children schooling,,and YOUR own private savings.
2.if you are a Christian become active in church activities to keep your mind busy and away from negative thoughts.
3.learn to forgive yourself first and let go of malice and bitterness.if this malice should grow you won't last 6years without a crisis
4.as for your husband,don't put him in negative I.e I hat is don't kill yourself over his actions at all,o lay protect yourself from harm
5.pray!pray!pray!pray very well!

Aitee1:
Sometimes I wonder if we have one faithful man left on this planet

there are good husbands in surplus only that it will take a wise woman to pick him out.
women are easily deceived by flash,flash!