Dear Nairalanders,
I reside in the U.S with my fiancee. Recently, I had issues with her. This has to do with the fact that I have always and consistently accused her of non challant attitude towards issues that are of immense benefit to me.But she is more concerned about hers. Because of this reason, she has decided not to pick my calls anymore nor replied my texts.Although, I have consistentky told her I will not tolerate that if we get married afterall. Also, I have told her repeatedly that I don't pamper a lady, but have always accorded her with the respect a lady deserves.Unfortunately, as a result of my recent misunderstanding that led to my immediate rebuke of her behavior, she has stopped picking my calls nor responded to my messages. Infact, she confided in a friend that she is always scared whenever she sees my call or text . Seriously, I mean no harm,as I have always wanted the best for her by supporting her future dreams and careers.
Be it as it may, we are both from a christian and wealthy family background,as no one depends on anyone for survival. I have always discharged my duties as a fiance to her in an affordable way. She has been so supportive in prayer as well (prayer warrior) and very contended with what she has. To the extent that I have access to her bank account, paypal accounts and so on uptill now. She is a wife material.Please advise.
Thank you.
D from the USA

We don't need to know where you reside. It's not like you're giving out invitations to your wedding.
OK I deviated.
Back to topic
I think you're a strong willed guy with violent tendencies. The babe is tired of the commando 'things' and needs some space.

U are controlling her too much

Op in as much she's a wife material you need to pamper her,women loves to be pamper,just don't over do it,been scared of you is another issue,bring down our ego pls,was once behaving like you before...remember so many women outside but wife material are scarce.

Bro
make i swallow this fufu first. I dey come

Deem:
Dear Nairalanders,
I reside in the U.S with my fiancee. Recently, I had issues with her. This has to do with the fact that I have always and consistently accused her of non challant attitude towards issues that are of immense benefit to me.But she is more concerned about hers. Because of this reason, she has decided not to pick my calls anymore nor replied my texts.Although, I have consistentky told her I will not tolerate that if we get married afterall. Also, I have told her repeatedly that I don't pamper a lady, but have always accorded her with the respect a lady deserves.Unfortunately, as a result of my recent misunderstanding that led to my immediate rebuke of her behavior, she has stopped picking my calls nor responded to my messages. Infact, she confided in a friend that she is always scared whenever she sees my call or text . Seriously, I mean no harm,as I have always wanted the best for her by supporting her future dreams and careers.
Be it as it may, we are both from a christian and wealthy family background,as no one depends on anyone for survival. I have always discharged my duties as a fiance to her in an affordable way. She has been so supportive in prayer as well (prayer warrior) and very contended with what she has. To the extent that I have access to her bank account, paypal accounts and so on uptill now. She is a wife material.Please advise.
Thank you.
D from the USA

op i would like to view one of your sentences from a different angle
you claim she acts nonchalantly to issues which affect and concern you, correct?
has it occurred to you that as a prayer warrior which she is(i assume that makes her a born again christian), any and nearly all issues which concerns you both will be put into prayer by her, and she probably will not take a step until she feels she has got the backing of the Lord Almighty, this might be seen to you to mean she does not take your own affairs seriously, but in truth it might actually mean that she has taken it to God in prayer and is waiting for his revelation.
this is just my own view point, i might be right, i might be wrong.

ah mashure man wil len 2 gv ah space.

Deem:
Dear Nairalanders,
I reside in the U.S with my fiancee. Recently, I had issues with her. This has to do with the fact that I have always and consistently accused her of non challant attitude towards issues that are of immense benefit to me.But she is more concerned about hers. Because of this reason, she has decided not to pick my calls anymore nor replied my texts.Although, I have consistentky told her I will not tolerate that if we get married afterall. Also, I have told her repeatedly that I don't pamper a lady,but have always accorded her with the respect a lady deserves.Unfortunately, as a result of my recent misunderstanding that led to my immediate rebuke of her behavior, she has stopped picking my calls nor responded to my messages. Infact, she confided in a friend that she is always scared whenever she sees my call or text . Seriously, I mean no harm,as I have always wanted the best for her by supporting her future dreams and careers.
Be it as it may, we are both from a christian and wealthy family background,as no one depends on anyone for survival. I have always discharged my duties as a fiance to her in an affordable way. She has been so supportive in prayer as well (prayer warrior) and very contended with what she has. To the extent that I have access to her bank account, paypal accounts and so on uptill now. She is a wife material.Please advise.
Thank you.
D from the USA

Maybe you are harsh in your talks so she avoids your calls. Try to be gentler and more affectionate to her and all this talks about not pampering ladies why do you need to tell your woman such a thing more so repeatedly its such a turn off.

On one hand you say she is nonchalant then again you say she has been very supportive. I don't get this.

Have you forgotten this popular inscription? "Fragile!- Handle with care"


Well, handle her with care...


She's fragile, you can't expect her to be perfect...




I'm presently facing same stuff..... But I've learnt to let her not feel like I correct excessively..

She's also a wife material, but just that you can't get married to a perfect mate.

Don't quote me wrong... Correct and pet her, she'll feel safe, she wouldn't see you as a nagger.

You nag too much

[b][/b]

adanduka:
We don't need to know where you reside. It's not like you're giving out invitations to your wedding.
OK I deviated.
Back to topic
I think you're a strong willed guy with violent tendencies. The babe is tired of the commando 'things' and needs some space.

This bro got me laughing.
@OP I think u should try n jonse ur babe rather than attack her head on. See her as ur friend. Then jonse her with her Bleep ups. I think she will code.

There is a contradiction somewhere, she is non-challant towards your issues and she is supportive. I find those two sentences contradictory.

From your tone, you sound like someone who is violent, might not be true but there is a tendency. No woman would love to marry someone who she doesn't feel free with.

Her non-challant attitude might be as a result of her being fed up of your person as a whole. She desires a friend and sorry to say, you are not a friend yet, let alone a lover.

Being a man is not all about being controlling or taking control, you dont form boss in a marriage, relationship, courtship or anything that has a future, you guys are partners and partners, friends work and play together for the betterment of the partnership but when one partner assumes superiority, the other partner might be forced to pull out of the partnership

Sorry if I sounded rude, but it is the ugly truth.

since you are in the u.s you should seek help for your possible anger issues and maybe just maybe if she takes you back, get couples counselling. From your write up, you seem to be very controlling and verbally abusive. If she is saying that she gets scared when you call or text, that is a very bad bad sign for the success of your relationship because no one should be scared in a relationship. In her friend's minds they are probably wondering when your verbal assaults will lead to physical assault. Which means they are probably telling her to run from you.

you better get on your J/O and start begging and making changes

I read the whole thing and i don't see no issue here richy rich

Thank you all for your good advise. I will make use of them!

my brothe u r the alpha kind of brother. Dont back down

From ur story, it seems she is a nice lady buh not d caring type..and u don't want to lose her..hmmm cos she is a wife material.. well, not bn caring is an attitude.. a bad one to be precise..Caring to a partner gives love a meaning and defines a good marriage.

my opinion

if u think u can patch dis up during marriage then u are seriously joking.. big tym set up..
She needs to cultivate dat caring nature cos soon now or later, u ll meet ladies who ll show care and concern abt u and den u begin to compare..

So stop dis "I don't want to lose her prayer point" cos u are beginning to sound weak..
Ring d bell into her ears till she starts doing normal..
marriage isn't not 2 mins instant Noddles
'the eye ball that ll age with u, ll not show mucus at a young age'

.

prosperanyi:


Yea, u got it man. Like I said d OP should c ha as a friend 1st, then jonse her with her f.uck ups. If she doesn't respond, my brother introduce competition by hooking up another side-chick. This way, u don't get to scream rather in shaggy's voice u be saying 'it wasn't me' . I guess jealousy might help sparkle fins back.

yea..most esp wen it comes to dos essential tins needed in marriage.. I don't joke with dem..