sweettease:
I think it's unfair if you dump him because of that

Mynd44:

Huh?

If she dumps him, it is her prerogative. I won't praise her or condemn her, what gave the man the right to lie to her for 3 years?


It is too much biko

Mynd44:

Huh?

If she dumps him, it is her prerogative. I won't praise her or condemn her, what gave the man the right to lie to her for 3 years?


It is too much biko

dicefrost:




Relax bro, breaking such news would have been difficult. If i were him, I'd do the same. Telling her at the initial stage would have freaked her out, she would have taken to her heels, and there goes his heart. But telling her now has given her the time to know him, understand, and love him. So her decision wouldn't be based on this info alone but on their relationship too.

sweettease:

3 years means he shouldn't have kept this from her that long but it also means they've been through quite some challenges that can make her pardon it.


At least the bright side is that he didn't break it to her after the marriage.

dicefrost:
ClassicQueen, i'm sure he expected this reaction from you that's why he didn't tell you earlier. It was selfish of him no doubt, but he was actually scared of losing a woman he loves perhaps. So it's up to you now, either you live with the reality and carry on, or you walk away and start afresh with another man who may not be half as good as him. You know him better than us, so ask yourself, other than this, has he been a liar? Has he given you other reasons to doubt him?

If you decide to carry on, make sure you have a concrete plan on how to care for his son, so doesn't become a problem to your marriage. Will he be staying with you? What kind of relationship will Your husband have with the child's mother? Will your husband's family object to any decision you make about the boy? If he stays with you, can you care for him like your own? Will your man respect your agreement after marriage?


If you chose to move on,....... Just make sure it's the right decision

Mynd44:

Is that supposed to make her feel better?

Mynd44:

Huh?

If she dumps him, it is her prerogative. I won't praise her or condemn her, what gave the man the right to lie to her for 3 years?


It is too much biko

In other words, she should dump him.

Don't pretend you don't know our opinions could actually hold sway.

Show some humanity

Tallesty1:
It is your fault.

You didn't ask him the deep questions in time

We could do without the blame games and proffer a way forward.

What if it never occurred to her, like it's something she couldn't fathom ATT.

Show some humanity...too

Fecodear:
Definitely you'll feel bad, you are human that after 3years you are juz getting to know this very important information now. Although it is better knowing it now than years into the marriage. I know also that you'll be thinking that this guy's love is going to be divided between yourself and his child perhaps also his baby mama.
Maybe he was feeling you might leave him and wanted you deep down into the relationship first.
Let him know how bad you feel about keeping this kind of secret away from you.
Let him assure you that there is nothing again going on between his baby mama and himself.
He has to assure you there are no more skeletons in his cupboard.

FINALLY, the innocent child deserves your love if and when the marriage pushes forth.

[size=14pt]What an ORUBEBE[/size] juz when everything was moving on fine, but in everything try to be [size=18pt]JEGALIZED[/size] and make the right decision.

MizMyColi:


In other words, she should dump him.

Don't pretend you don't know our opinions could actually hold sway.

Show some humanity

MizMyColi:


We could do not without the blame games and proffer a way forward.

What if it never occurred to her, like it's something she couldn't fathom ATT.

Show some humanity...too

sweettease:

It's supposed to make it hurt less.

ClassicQueen:
He said he has never been married. he told me the woman left the child and went away when he(child) was barely 1year... i asked him what if the mom comes for the child later in life, he said she wont dare that even if it happens, he is very sure the child will never want to go with her. I really love this man and it is very obvious he loves me more than i love him he is very crazy about me. He can do anything for me just to make me happy even if it will cause him pains. Just that i am confused and scared of the unknown at this moment!

GboyegaD:
The good thing is that he finally told you. He could have had the child at some point he was busy exploring however, that doesn't make him a bad person. My advice to you is to search your heart and see if you can cope with the reality since you have always had it in mind not to marry someone who already has a child. If you think you cannot cope with it, let him know and move on but please, take your time to think through it.

Tallesty1:
I come online these days to blame peopleIt started on Monday n will end on Friday.

Moana:
and if she was the one who had the baby while exploring?

Mynd44:

We will first curse her for being a loosed woman

Then we curse her for abandoning the child with her mother

Then we curse her for lying for so long.

Then we say she must have other secrets

Then we call her am irresponsible mother

Then we move on the insult all women.

Moana:
and if she was the one who had the baby while exploring?