freecocoa:
Na wa o.

Pak come and advice this lady please.

This type of stories make me weak.

takleboy:
Listen to me earnestly @u, the deal has bin done wit a baby on ground. U av come to know him and to bear him upto this point some ravages av bin done though but i beg u not to jeopardise d whole tin d more, he is a hardguy no doubt abt that but he is so bkos of d way u presented yourself and d way u handle. I aint gonna say u shud dump him who knows d next guy u get may do more sabbotage, alot of guys outta dia these days are very stupid and i am not innocent of that too. I advise u to giv him a long break and nucture him to become d kind guy u desire, brk every affection, care, not even d cheap sex he gets from u shud b allow anymore for d main time untill u fix his damn asshole. I hope he changes or at least he gives u good reason to get going wit him

babyosisi:


Maybe she doesn't realize that there are 7 million men within a fifty mile radius of her that could do exactly what he does in bed and even better with more gbim gbim apparatus.

pak:


You know love the way it is used is such a funny phrase ?

Based on regular usage of the word, I'm sure the guy doesn't love him but there's a bit of a twist here actually.


But first things first, forget about marriage totally for now !!!!!!!


About the twist, the funny thing is, aside from the baby issue, the person having the more unhealthy attachment is the man not the woman.
If he wanted to walk away, he definitely would have, I shouldn't let the poster know this but he is attached to you and he resents that fact and the sad part is that you are making things extremely easy for him.

I don't have full details but i can wager that if you move out of his house or wherever it is you are staying, and heaven helps, you start 'dating' someone else. This guy would go baloney. From the story, he wouldn't stay with you if there was no pull you have over him. It's not just about sex, you said he has other ladies already. You validate him in some ways. I mean why would a man want to sleep with a woman who just had CS and a new baby if he has other options.
You just don't have a soft spot for him, he also has a big soft hole for you. He'll deny it all he can.

It's some sort of psycho anomaly.
Its understandable when a guy tries to put down a girl he wants out of his life.
It's understandable when a guy builds up a girl he wants in his life
But when a guy puts down a girl all the time and yet still want to retain her around him, then that's serious unhealthy emotional conflict.

You've not told us about his pattern of relationships (past relationships et al), if he is well off career wise, if he is physically abusive and all that but if what you've said is accurate,
The best advice is to just walk, cut your losses and walk. Pick up the pieces, you've lost a part of your life to a jerk. Try to salvage the remaining

but then I know how hard it is for a woman who has a baby with a man to move on and from your tone, you don't sound like someone who wants to so I'll give you the middle of the road - take a break from him for a long period, get some fresh air, go visit a family member in another part of the country, go learn french or swimming or something different. Start a new relationship if you can (It doesn't have to be sexual)
That period will allow you assess him properly and most importantly allow you to have your head clearer.

I might be wrong but this is an instinctive response for me, hope it helps.

N.B. If physical assault is involved in anyway, disregard all the advice above and just pack your bags and run this very night without informing him. If possible inform the police about your need to be protected

Emeraldey:


Maybe a part of me was scared that he might take my baby from me....

bukatyne:


OP,

If I saw you life, I will rattle your common sense back into you.

Where are your parents? Do they know what you are going through?

Do you just like suffering or did the guy jazz you?

How are your parents' marriage?

Emeraldey:


Lol. My parents marriage is alryt, they have their normal ups and downs but its fine. My mum is my confidant, she has told me its not a must to end up with him if we won't be happy in marriage. But what I've come to discover is that each time I bother her with this mistake I made, she gets sleepless nights, she worries a lot, so that's why am always telling her not to worry, that God will guide my paths. I understand am in an unhealthy soulties with this guy already, and am praying to God to loose me from it. My mum keeps encouraging me that I have a bright future ahead of me, but I shouldn't truncate it with my own hands I.e Getting pregnant again at this time or the likes. I stopped telling her much about these stuffs cos I don't want my matter to cause her illness. I hope u understand nw. And I don't like suffering, if there is one thing I've always prayed for, its peace of mind. I bliv it would have been easier without a child in it. But with all d advice received here, I know that it all borders around my 'Self Esteem and Self Love', which I've started working on. I really appreciate u and every one here. God Bless U Plenty.

elektra:
You don't need advice. You need a shrink. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expect a different result. How about you stop praying about leaving this man and actually LEAVE?

Acidosis:
I don't know whether you're in love or insane. Kindly expatiate.

abimbola74:

God bless u bro,u'r right nd 2 fnk of it,she knew from d beginnig dis guy dosn't luv her...my advice goes thus,mke sure u pray 4 him 2 change evryday nd u cn evn talk 2 ya pastor mayb he can be of help spiritually.my dear,don't deceive urslf by cmin in2 conclusion of lvin him cos u dn't knw wat d nxt guy might do 2 u.........u just hv 2 b strong and I pray God will see u thru dis hard tym...

Emeraldey:


Lol. My parents marriage is alryt, they have their normal ups and downs but its fine. My mum is my confidant, she has told me its not a must to end up with him if we won't be happy in marriage. But what I've come to discover is that each time I bother her with this mistake I made, she gets sleepless nights, she worries a lot, so that's why am always telling her not to worry, that God will guide my paths. I understand am in an unhealthy soulties with this guy already, and am praying to God to loose me from it. My mum keeps encouraging me that I have a bright future ahead of me, but I shouldn't truncate it with my own hands I.e Getting pregnant again at this time or the likes. I stopped telling her much about these stuffs cos I don't want my matter to cause her illness. I hope u understand nw. And I don't like suffering, if there is one thing I've always prayed for, its peace of mind. I bliv it would have been easier without a child in it. But with all d advice received here, I know that it all borders around my 'Self Esteem and Self Love', which I've started working on. I really appreciate u and every one here. God Bless U Plenty.

Emeraldey:
Thanks to u all for ur advice. He has this kind of hold on me that I just don't get. Each time I say I quit, he seems to always find his way back. He knows I have a soft spot for him, he knows I love him and yes he uses it well to his advantage. I really need to break free from this hold he has. Pls how can I break free, am so confused. His mum and everyone keeps encouraging me to keep praying for him, that he'll change.

Emeraldey:


Lol. My parents marriage is alryt, they have their normal ups and downs but its fine. My mum is my confidant, she has told me its not a must to end up with him if we won't be happy in marriage. But what I've come to discover is that each time I bother her with this mistake I made, she gets sleepless nights, she worries a lot, so that's why am always telling her not to worry, that God will guide my paths. I understand am in an unhealthy soulties with this guy already, and am praying to God to loose me from it. My mum keeps encouraging me that I have a bright future ahead of me, but I shouldn't truncate it with my own hands I.e Getting pregnant again at this time or the likes. I stopped telling her much about these stuffs cos I don't want my matter to cause her illness. I hope u understand nw. And I don't like suffering, if there is one thing I've always prayed for, its peace of mind. I bliv it would have been easier without a child in it. But with all d advice received here, I know that it all borders around my 'Self Esteem and Self Love', which I've started working on. I really appreciate u and every one here. God Bless U Plenty.

KanwuliaJara:
Looks like you deserve every bit of what you are getting AND MORE!
Truth be told, women like you make me ashamed of being female.
I pity your children!

My wish for you is that you LOSE more than your sanity.

Amen!!!!

*gosh! the tins women will put up with both becuz of pehnis! TWA!!!!!*

kaboninc:


Have you been raped before?

KanwuliaJara:


What has this question got to do with this subject matter?

HAVE YOU?

kaboninc:


I think you should edit your comment.