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Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault - Romance - Nairaland

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Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by xynerise: 3:24pm On Apr 25, 2015
When a romantic partner cheats on you, do you immediately see it as your fault or theirs? Either way, is your self-esteem damaged by his or her choice to be sexually or emotionally intimate with someone else?
The truth is that their cheating may or may “not” be your fault. In other words, it may have nothing whatsoever to do with you. Including any inadequacies, you see about yourself, real or not, that you may immediately obsess about.
Here are some possible reasons their cheating may “not” be your fault follow by reasons it may be your fault.

Reasons their cheating may “not” be your fault.

1.You are incompatible in several key areas.
2.You have fallen out of love with them.
3.You have grown pass them.
4.They are insecure.
5.They have low self-esteem.
6.They need or want sexual variety.
7.They are not ready for or do not want a committed relationship.
8.They use sex as an escape from some unresolved painful issue.

If it is your understanding that your relationship is exclusive, then none of the above reasons is justification or a good excuse for your partner to. violate your trust and be sexually or emotionally intimate with someone else.
This can become a very serious health and legal matter if your partner is being sexually disloyal while continuing to have sex with you because of the possibility of getting a sexually transmitted disease(STD).


Reasons their cheating may be your fault.
1.You have let yourself go physically by becoming fat and out of shape.
2.You have let yourself go psychologically by becoming emotionally weak.
3.You have stopped improving yourself and are now in decline.
4.You have become negative, bitter, and critical.
5.You have become self-centered and/or narcissistic.
6.You have lied and/or been deceitful.
7.You have not meant their basic needs or requests (not their demands).
8.You are not committed to the relationship — for whatever reason.

There are few things more emotionally painful than discovering that the person you are in love with has cheated on you. I’ve had it happen to me a few times.
Each incident was as painful, if not more painful, than the last. It’s important to your current situation and future relationships (force yourself if necessary) to rationally evaluate what happened to determine whether their cheating was your fault or not. If not, you may need to constantly remind yourself that it was not your fault until the pain passes. If you feel you are completely or partly to blame, use the pain to make positive personal changes. But do not focus on guilt and shame but rather a much better future relationship with them or, preferably, someone else.


http://www.solotopia.com/cheating-who-or-what-is-at-fault/
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by Paulonminyi: 3:30pm On Apr 25, 2015
Dis one stronge
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by Uniquexty(f): 3:36pm On Apr 25, 2015
There's no justification whatsoever.
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by DuchessLily(f): 3:38pm On Apr 25, 2015
No excuse for cheating. Its a cheat's fault if he or she cheats .

Even if there is something ur partner is doing wrong in d relationship, ur cheating can not solve anything, cos two wrongs can never make a right
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by xynerise: 3:42pm On Apr 25, 2015
Uniquexty:
There's no justification whatsoever.
There is in some cases, though biblically wrong. Some people just need to amend some flaws as stated in the article
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by jmoore(m): 3:45pm On Apr 25, 2015

A man cheats on his wife because he doesn't understand the meaning of marriage vows.
A man cheats on his wife because he lacks selfcontrol.
A man cheats on his wife because he thinks with his di**.
A man cheats on his wife because he is filled with insatiable lustful and selfish desires.
A man cheats on his wife because when he was a bachelor, he was busy sampling many women and carried the foolish behaviour into marriage.

And vice versa


#TeamChastity.

1 Like

Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by xynerise: 3:46pm On Apr 25, 2015
DuchessLily:
No excuse for cheating. Its a cheat's fault if he or she cheats .

Even if there is something ur partner is doing wrong in d relationship, ur cheating can not solve anything, cos two wrongs can never make a right

True.
Just like drinking to forget your sorrows, some men use cheating to calm their nerves especially when the depression was caused by the person that was supposed to help solve the problem
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by xynerise: 3:47pm On Apr 25, 2015
jmoore:

A man cheats on his wife because he doesn't understand the meaning of marriage vows.
A man cheats on his wife because he lacks selfcontrol.
A man cheats on his wife because he thinks with his di**.
A man cheats on his wife because he is filled with insatiable lustful and selfish desires.
A man cheats on his wife because when he was a bachelor, he was busy sampling many women and carried the foolish behaviour into marriage.

And vice versa


#TeamChastity.
Your emphasis shouldn't be on men alone. Both sexes cheat
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by jmoore(m): 3:48pm On Apr 25, 2015
xynerise:

Your emphasis shouldn't be on men alone. Both sexes cheat

I wrote vice versa.
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by Shortyy(f): 3:58pm On Apr 25, 2015
cheat or no cheat, idgaf. i've learnt to not give my whole heart to someone. i'll give you half, and take half. if you break the half i've given you, i'll replace it with the half i have.
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by jmoore(m): 4:04pm On Apr 25, 2015
Shortyy:
cheat or no cheat, idgaf. i've learnt to not give my whole heart to someone. i'll give you half, and take half. if you break the half i've given you, i'll replace it with the half i have.
If you replace it with the half, it is still not whole.
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by Nobody: 4:08pm On Apr 25, 2015
Shortyy:
cheat or no cheat, idgaf. i've learnt to not give my whole heart to someone. i'll give you half, and take half. if you break the half i've given you, i'll replace it with the half i have.
GBAM!

Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by Shortyy(f): 4:08pm On Apr 25, 2015
jmoore:

If you replace it with the half, it is still not whole.
yea. but i still got a heart. it's better than giving your whole heart to a loser who will crush it right in front of you.
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by Odunharry(m): 4:18pm On Apr 25, 2015
Uniquexty:
There's no justification whatsoever.
good.. no excuse at all..
if anyone is tired or fallen out of love, let the person take a break or simply work out of the relationship. no need decievin the the other person...

anybody that cheat doesn't deserve the other person
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by Odunharry(m): 4:20pm On Apr 25, 2015
lies, pretence ,deciet I can forgive but a cheat?
Never

anybody that cheat on the partner simply doesn't deserve the other person...
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by Oahray: 5:24pm On Apr 25, 2015
Well written. While cheating isn't justified, it doesn't happen for no reason. Nice points...

I don't agree with points 1-3 as to why cheating may be your fault. They are watery. As for points 4-6 and 8, I don't see how they can make a person cheat.

The only contributory reason though, is point 7, in the case of lack of satisfaction of basic needs. But we have to restrict it to sexual needs, and to situations where attempts at communication break down.

When you are hungry, it's harder to turn down an offer of food.
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by Missmossy(f): 5:29pm On Apr 25, 2015
I really don't think there is any excuse whatsoever for infidelity. Some cheats give the most filmsy excuses which don't hold water at all.

1 Like

Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by Odunharry(m): 7:29pm On Apr 25, 2015
Missmossy:
I really don't think there is any excuse whatsoever for infidelity. Some cheats give the most filmsy excuses which don't hold water at all.
can you forgive your bf/hubby if he cheat?
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by Missmossy(f): 7:44pm On Apr 25, 2015
Odunharry:

can you forgive your bf/hubby if he cheat?
I really don't know am very emotional even if i do forgive him i doubt if i can forget about it sad
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by erudyt(m): 7:55pm On Apr 25, 2015
Missmossy:

I really don't know am very emotional even if i do forgive him i doubt if i can forget about it sad
yep, it's always hard to forget, especially for emotional peepz
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by Odunharry(m): 7:56pm On Apr 25, 2015
Missmossy:

I really don't know am very emotional even if i do forgive him i doubt if i can forget about it sad
nice... I like that..
even if I forgive I won't forget and that person will lose my trust...you know what they say about love/relationship without trust
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by Missmossy(f): 7:58pm On Apr 25, 2015
erudyt:
yep, it's always hard to forget, especially for emotional peepz
Seriously, i just don't wanna think about it.
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by Missmossy(f): 7:59pm On Apr 25, 2015
Odunharry:

nice... I like that..
even if I forgive I won't forget and that person will lose my trust...you know what they say about love/relationship without trust
Exactly, you are right. I reason just in that direction.
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by erudyt(m): 8:01pm On Apr 25, 2015
Missmossy:

Seriously, i just don't wanna think about it.
same here, the thought alone irks me.
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by Odunharry(m): 8:03pm On Apr 25, 2015
Missmossy:

Exactly, you are right. I reason just in that direction.
nice... so have you ever thought of cheating on him or let me say can you?
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by Missmossy(f): 8:05pm On Apr 25, 2015
erudyt:
same here, the thought alone irks me.
Spot on cool
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by Missmossy(f): 8:07pm On Apr 25, 2015
Odunharry:

nice... so have you ever thought of cheating on him or let me say can you?
Lol grin am human you know, not even in a relationship till i can get the kind of control i need over myself.
Re: Cheating: Who Or What Is At Fault by Odunharry(m): 10:26pm On Apr 25, 2015
Missmossy:

Lol grin am human you know, not even in a relationship till i can get the kind of control i need over myself.
good.... get it

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