Just want to be  brief, I am happily married with two

You’ve been denying your family for 5 years?!! All because of a guy?

Jeebus!!

Anyway, your problem is no longer about how many siblings you have but how you will tell him you’ve been lying all this time.

By the way, has he been supporting the six you introduced to him?

Sisi Jinx:

You’ve been denying your family for 5 years?!! All because of a guy?

Jeebus!!

Anyway, your problem is no longer about how many siblings you have but how you will tell him you’ve been lying all this time.

By the way, has he been supporting the six you introduced to him?

Is not what u think, if u are in the europe u will understand, i needed to have a stay, but i wanted it with a guy i love not just to have it, so i couldn't choose to lose another oppotunity that came my way, This white guys are not very understanding, u won't understand.
I will not do this if i had met a black guy, I ve always thought in my heart that i will let him know the truth but when and how do i start is what i dont know.
yes he does relate well with them like every other inlaw out there.

Okay fine, I don't understand.

My question was. . . is he financially supporting your six siblings because this is the only legit reason he might have a problem if you tell him you have 5 more.

I will say yes but it's not directly, i do that with what i get from him, but the way and maner i demand after the normal monthly fund, this really pist him off he always asked what i do with money, is true that too many family is too many problem i know what i am saying, even myself i go crazy sometime.

Just tell him the truth and explain why you lied, that you did not want to lose him. Make him understand that he owes your family no obligations etc.

@ Sisi, All this yoyoing with IDs has got to stop young lady. What happened this time?

Sisi Jinx:

Okay fine, I don't understand.

My question was. . . is he financially supporting your six siblings because this is the only legit reason he might have a problem if you tell him you have 5 more.

You have spoken I fainltly remember the OP's story once, about one of her brothers hounding them for money.

@ Plappville

If you have a job/are working, why is this a problem? I am not advocating anything, but it is known for women to buy something for $20 and then tell their husband they paid $150 for it Why dont you use your feminine ingenuity to deal with the situation?

Tell him d tru ,let d truet save you

Tell him d tru ,let d truet save you

Tell him d tru ,let d truet save you

You know him best, I mean you said yourself This white guys are not very understanding. So I think you pretty much know how he'd react.

May I ask. . . what has changed? Why the sudden urge to bare your soul?


@ Bliss
I think admin really really hates SISIKILL because he got rid of that ID so fast, it's like it never existed and all I did was post on the Auto section fa.

Iya lode do you see what has happened to me.

Busy_body:


You have spoken I fainltly remember the OP's story once, about one of her brothers hounding them for money.

@ Plappville

If you have a job/are working, why is this a problem? I am not advocating anything, but it is known for women to buy something for $20 and then tell their husband they paid $150 for it Why dont you use your feminine ingenuity to deal with the situation?

I am not working, and we are not rich, we re  living a normal life, living with only one salary, what kind of 20 dolars for 150 dolars thing is that? don't i ve other things in my head than thinking of how to save 20 dolars and other, plz don't refare me to that thread, i just want to know what i have to do in this present situation thank u.

.

Sisi Jinx:

@ Bliss
I think admin really really hates SISIKILL because he got rid of that ID so fast, it's like it never existed and all I did was post on the Auto section fa.

Iya lode do you see what has happened to me.

LOL. Your original "offence" must have been grevious. What is it they say about power and corruption again? Is it him who put Sisikill has been banned on that profile? And is there any reason why you wanted to get back to that ID and stop using this one? And to think of all the support you gave him when he was doing his script writing competition. Some people are just plain ungrateful. (And now I probably would get banned as well. . . LOL).

plappville:

I am not working, and we are not rich, we re  living a normal life, living with only one salary, what kind of 20 dolars for 150 dolars thing is that? don't i ve other things in my head than thinking of how to save 20 dolars and other, plz don't refare me to that thread, i just want to know what i have to do in this present situation thank u.

Okay, maybe you did not understand me properly, but its all good, i don't speak french well too.

Why are you scared of telling him though? He is definitely not going to be happy and start wondering what other lies you have told him. I don't think you should tell him at the moment, try and get your self a job so that you can be self-sufficient first in case he gets upset with you and tells you to leave, or leaves the house for you.

Sisi Jinx:

Iya lode do you see what has happened to me.

@ Iyalode* I am scratching my head Talk to him, ask him, I believe he is open to negotiation

plappville:

I am not working, and we are not rich, we re  living a normal life, living with only one salary, what kind of 20 dolars for 150 dolars thing is that? don't i ve other things in my head than thinking of how to save 20 dolars and other, plz don't refare me to that thread, i just want to know what i have to do in this present situation thank u.

Whoa! Whoa! Take it easy plappville. . . you missed her point ooh.

I think what she is trying to say is that you are the one shouldering the burden for the family you lied to your husband about and you are not working. . . you have to find a way to balance things out.

Simple. . . no fighting

Just tell him the truth and explain why you lied, that you did not want to lose him. Make him understand that he owes your family no obligations

Thing is he actually DOES provide money. She mentioned it above and I believe she mentioned a few months back how her brother used to harrass her husband's phone for money.

Naija families no get shame at times, who wouldnt deny them

By the time I wrote that, I did not know that it was the husband shouldering all the responsibility. I dunno why she can't tell her folks to sod off.

Sapphic:

LOL. Your original "offence" must have been grevious. What is it they say about power and corruption again? Is it him who put Sisikill has been banned on that profile? And is there any reason why you wanted to get back to that ID and stop using this one? And to think of all the support you gave him when he was doing his script writing competition. Some people are just plain ungrateful. (And now I probably would get banned as well. . . LOL).

Rotflmao!! You don't know the extent of ungratefulness!! You know it all started from the script competition thingy right? He sent me an email offline asking for my help on the script, we worked on it for about a month or so and I think half way through it, he realized what a huge task it was and instead of just saying. . . you know what, I don't think I can do this, he da si rough and said my writing was not up to par (keep in mind he approached me ooh), He was gonna pay me but not anymore (even though I had told him I didn't want jack from in from the very start. Oh how grateful he had been. . . said something about giving me screen credit and I was like. . . whatever).

My friend thinks he thought since there won't be a movie (which means no screen credit), I would demand payment or something (as if!) and he quickly did a preemptive strike thingy but I think he needed to blame someone for his failed attempt into the film making business so he blamed and banned me.


@ Busy
Lol, don't mind me oooh. My little foray into the auto section with Sisikill put me under the Admin's radar and he banned me. . . her. . . sisikill (jeez, how do multiple personalty people do it?)

Bliss if that doesn't make any sense. . . welcome to the club!!

I've never understood pettiness and insecurity!!

Plappville. . . sorry for derailing your thread.

@ Topic
Is there a reason you want to tell him now?

If it's gonna create problems, I think you are better off not telling him.

Oh! It makes perfect sense. No be our admin. And when I think back to 2005 when the guy was almost practically cap in hand bending over backwards to get people using his forum. Someone needs to start some other better forum. Something along the lines of Yahoo chat where Naija people and Africans generally can meet up and have fun. To be honest, I was more than taken aback when he banned you after that script writing thingy. I was like a lone voice in the wilderness back then (well not lone). I remember the brouhaha we had over plagiarism and copyright. Anyway, Que sera sera.

Busy_body:



Okay, maybe you did not understand me properly, but its all good, i don't speak french well too.

Why are you scared of telling him though? He is definitely not going to be happy and start wondering what other lies you have told him. I don't think you should tell him at the moment, try and get your self a job so that you can be self-sufficient first in case he gets upset with you and tells you to leave, or leaves the house for you


@ Iyalode* I am scratching my head Talk to him, ask him, I believe he is open to negotiation .

All ok, sorry for misunderstanding u,

[b] try and get your self a job so that you can be self-sufficient first in case he gets upset with you and tells you to leave, or leaves the house for you.

[/b]yes i am searching for a job but not for this reason,  Like i said b/4, i just don't feel free becos of this, that is why i asked this question, is not that i there is anything astake at the moment.

plappville:

All ok, sorry for misunderstanding u,
[/b]yes i am searching for a job but not for this reason, Like i said b/4, i just don't feel free becos of this, that is why i asked this question, is not that i there is anything astake at the moment.

The fact that you are thinking about it, means that you might mistakenly blurt it out in fear or anger. If you are not ready to tell him yet, push it to the back of your mind and find something else to occupy your time.

Busy_body:



The fact that you are thinking about it, means that you might mistakenly blurt it out in fear or anger. If you are not ready to tell him yet, push it to the back of your mind and find something else to occupy your time.

Ok but, this thought will keep eating me up as usual, until i will let him know, but i don't know when.

Plappville, don't tell him now. Wait till they are no longer asking him for money. Also on your part, it is time to reduce shouldering the responsibility. maybe help mama alone. the rest should do it themselves.

ummm imagine if the money he gives is supporting someone at Uni, ummm don't tell him yet o. no need for it now. maybe when you both old you will tell him you found out so and so you found out are from same mom and dad. the thing get as e be.

at old age, that won't bug him

@Poster

You have revisited what slave trade did to our fore fathers - selling their birth right because of food, common, can you do this to your black brother? You lied to him just because you want to marry him, you sold your conscience in place of a white di ck, who told you your family will forever be dependent on him? you need deliverance and forgiveness from your entire family, i weep for you and your likes.

oh i laugh don come lol

Poster: don't tell him. afterall it is not like you have kids or children yourself hidden in Nigeria. abeg live your life for now and enjoy your marriage, kids and relationship. don't let your mama children u did not intro to him bug the life out of your marriage.

enjoy your marriage again unless if the lies were that they are yours??

if not, forget it please and let live.

@Plapville,don't tell him now.how old are your siblings now and is any of them working yet?i suggest you wait till atleast 3 of them can fend for themselves and even others b4 telling him.Telling him now might not only make him not trust you but it might bring a problem to your marriage

i_laugh:

@Poster

You have revisited what slave trade did to our fore fathers - selling their birth right because of food, common, can you do this to your black brother? You lied to him just because you want to marry him, you sold your conscience in place of a white di ck, who told you your family will forever be dependent on him? you need deliverance and forgiveness from your entire family, i weep for you and your likes.

u really don't understand,do u?

ifyalways:

@Plapville,don't tell him now.how old are your siblings now and is any of them working yet?i suggest you wait till atleast 3 of them can fend for themselves and even others b4 telling him.Telling him now might not only make him not trust you but it might bring a problem to your marriage  u really don't understand,do u?

I feel like slapping you and the poster, wetin you dey yearn for mouth so? na good thing abi?

The day you tell him the truth is the day your marriage will end.

This is your opportunit to get back at our former colonial masters. Tell him at your oown peril.