shirazlova:
Im a regular contributor here on Nairaland but have had to create a new profile for the sake of being anonymous

My problem is that all my life I've struggled to make or maintain female friendships due to one reason or another. Distance, change of location, falling out/unresolved conflict, jealousy, fake friends etc.. It's something I'm ashamed of and I often feel sad that I don't have my clique of friends especially now that I'm about getting married. It saddens me that at this time of my life where I'm supposed to be joyous and be surrounded by girlfriends helping me with wedding preparations, choosing a dress etc, I have no one to call on. I've had to shop for my dress alone which was quite a depressing experience. Everytime my parents or aunties ask of my friends I come up with one story or another or just change the topic completely.

My fiancée is very much aware of my lack of friends but he's not bothered by it at all. I'm in my early/mid twenties and I feel so saddened to see other girls my age with lots of girlfriends. I have a big family however most of my cousins are male.

How do I go about doing my wedding with no bridesmaids whatsoever! It'll be such a mortifying experience for my wedding guests and family members to notice I have no friends.
What do I do about this?
I'd appreciate matured responses pls.

I have a feeling I know exactly who this person is, its a funny feeling tho... But don't worry ur hubby and I already talked about it. We the men on suit have taken charge of the situation

It's not compulsory madam. All yu need is ur best lady.. the rest na wash. They do nothing in such occasions

Pm me for contact details of the wedding ringer.

Are you ready to DANCE? Dowload the latest Gospel hit from Iyanu (DANCE ft. El) here:



#DANCE #JESUSisWorthyOfOurPRAISE

SAMBARRY:
na wedding you get to know the essence of friendship. Have you heard the yoruba proverb that says eyan laso mi . bridesmaid help weddings get colourful and help with the logistics like attending to guests, help serve food, get to see those who haven't eating etc


a wedding without bridal train is dry. Especially after looking at your wedding photographs.you don't want your kids friends and siblings looking at few pages of your album and getting bored.



Don't mind all those saying wedding feferity doesn't matter . you only marry once except you plan to marry 3or 4 times like some of my friends then I can say don't pay attention to details like that. Abi don't you like these

YIMU! I practically grew up without the retinue of friends; so I'm okay with just maid of honour. I hate FEFERITY! What matters to me is I get married quietly and peacefully. I hate loud celebrations! Shirazlova, to me, you have no issue except you make it one. Less friends, less stress and wahala. Enjoy your marriage o jare.

chijiokeeeeeeeeeeeehhhh !!!! Babe, it haff beed !

Dont feel bad! After all some of the the ladies in d train will diss ur weddin dress afterall...my sister had only one bridesmaid.And I know u have a friend u can ask to do same for u or u can jst ask one of ur sisters, cousins or close family relations...

chijiokeeeeeeeeeeeehhhh !!!! Babe, it haff beed !

SAMBARRY:
bridesmaid help weddings get colourful

YES

SAMBARRY:
na wedding you get to know the essence of friendship help with the logistics like attending to guests, help serve food, get to see those who haven't eating etc

Bridesmaid these days don't do that anymore..All they do is maybe help with colour, n most importantly think of how nice they want to look on that day..tthat's all

why u no go get frnds na? re u sure u re of dis world?

shirazlova:
Im a regular contributor here on Nairaland but have had to create a new profile for the sake of being anonymous

My problem is that all my life I've struggled to make or maintain female friendships due to one reason or another. Distance, change of location, falling out/unresolved conflict, jealousy, fake friends etc.. It's something I'm ashamed of and I often feel sad that I don't have my clique of friends especially now that I'm about getting married. It saddens me that at this time of my life where I'm supposed to be joyous and be surrounded by girlfriends helping me with wedding preparations, choosing a dress etc, I have no one to call on. I've had to shop for my dress alone which was quite a depressing experience. Everytime my parents or aunties ask of my friends I come up with one story or another or just change the topic completely.

My fiancée is very much aware of my lack of friends but he's not bothered by it at all. I'm in my early/mid twenties and I feel so saddened to see other girls my age with lots of girlfriends. I have a big family however most of my cousins are male.

How do I go about doing my wedding with no bridesmaids whatsoever! It'll be such a mortifying experience for my wedding guests and family members to notice I have no friends.
What do I do about this?
I'd appreciate matured responses pls.

If you have a sister or female relatives that are young and beautiful in there own way use them. Nothing stopping you

What matters is a happy home after the marriage jare. Friends are just trouble most of the time.

bukatyne:


@OP:

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.

I had about two female friends as at when I was getting married and one of them couldn't make it.

Still I was able to pull 6 flower girls and 6 Ankara ladies

I requested my cousins, husband's niece, Sunday schl teacher, church members etc. Do me the honors of joining my train with me physically visiting when possible.

You can achieve it.

Look well around you

Ladies sha! Una dey try! As for me, maid of honour have do.

MoNickk:
where is the wedding holding? is it not aso ebi? There will be jollof rice abi? pm me n I could call up some of my friends for you. believe me...We are fun

LOBATAN!

mcdokwe:
If you have subsisted without friends all this while, now is not the time to seek company that could end up marring your marriage.

Weddings last less than 6 hours and a lot of ladies wouldn't mind down it for just clothes and shoes, if you end up building friendship with them, fine. Otherwise move on and concentrate in making your man your friend and the kids that would sonn be coming


HML

...what would you have suggested

Bibol:

All in all, try not to stress yourself over it, you need to save your energy for other important things after the wedding

shirazlova, please focus on this. Thanks!

@chiraz...I think making new freinds now especially @ this crucial point in ur life can be disastrous. It may may end ur marriage before it even start. You can't make friends just becos u need them for bridal train...what happens after the marriage?,,,,,

Your approach to this situation depends on preference: (while some women are choosy, others can settle for anything.)..and financial capability of u and ur spouse(I believe u have a budget for the wedding)


if u are the type that likes classy things, ur options are to use ur family members(if u are close to them) or ur spouse family members ( u know how sophiscated they are), u cam also ask ur fiance' brothers or cousins to bring their gfs( ur husband can help in that aspect)..or u simply hire.

tete7000:


Your main problem must be pride. If not at times like this I am sure there will be one or two friends of yours who have good hearts and who if you call upon will be willing to overlook the past and be willing to come around and celebrate with you. However, it looks like you behave too big and pompous to put calls through anyone.
One thing however I will like to remind you is that you can't be a good wife with this attitude. How will you be able to pull your husband relatives and friends close and not draw them away when you probably don't have the right attitude to make friends? You really need to work on your humble side, learn to say sorry if you err others and be always willing to confine the past to past. Your husband to be now may not mind your attitude now but by the time you extend the same attitude to his friends and family, he will definitely begin to take it as a serious issue. Please work on yourself if you desire a blissful and happy marriage!

Pride? not at all sir. It's just unfortunate that I spent my first years at uni living in introversion. I hardly socialized. Towards the end of my studies I got tired of being lonely and decided to make friends. Unfortunately, I fell into a clique of girls who almost ruined my life, ruin my studies, tried to seduce my man, back-biting, stabbing one another in the back etc... We eventually all went our separate ways some leaving the country completely. So it's not that I'm pompous, I've just been unfortunate with friendships that's all. I'm also someone that is a lil introverted too. Please don't be quick to assume someone's lack of friends is their own fault.

ellechrystal:

My dear, train thing na wahala weda ur friends or not.
Someone like me, am scraping it, na me, my man, chief, grooms man little bride n groom. Period.

.lol,true talk though

babyfaceafrica:
Having friends is snot compulsory,what's more impotant is having a real friend..not the numeous backstabbers in town naw..just find one or two and move on...as to your problem..just talk to your family and fiancee..they will find someone for you....I like that your fiancee..he is not worried at all...that's why guys will be guys...we don't let petty things disturb us

At the bolded, you are very right. I like how guys take it cool and easy unlike ladies. You see two men fighting this minute and the next, they are already laughing and patting each other's back but ladies? Malice unlimited activated!

SAMBARRY:
na wedding you get to know the essence of friendship. Have you heard the yoruba proverb that says eyan laso mi . bridesmaid help with the logistics like attending to guests, help serve food, get to see those who haven't eating etc


a wedding without bridal train is dry. Especially after looking at your wedding photographs.you don't want your kids friends and siblings looking at few pages of your album and getting bored.



Don't mind all those saying wedding feferity doesn't matter . you only marry once except you plan to marry 3or 4 times like some of my friends then I can say don't pay attention to details like that. Abi don't you like these

when did bridesmaids start doing the job of the caterers and food service?? do u live in france??

tete7000:


Your main problem must be pride. If not at times like this I am sure there will be one or two friends of yours who have good hearts and who if you call upon will be willing to overlook the past and be willing to come around and celebrate with you. However, it looks like you behave too big and pompous to put calls through anyone.
One thing however I will like to remind you is that you can't be a good wife with this attitude. How will you be able to pull your husband relatives and friends close and not draw them away when you probably don't have the right attitude to make friends? You really need to work on your humble side, learn to say sorry if you err others and be always willing to confine the past to past. Your husband to be now may not mind your attitude now but by the time you extend the same attitude to his friends and family, he will definitely begin to take it as a serious issue. Please work on yourself if you desire a blissful and happy marriage!

Its not pride, I have worked with brides that are too humble, but they have no friends, we had to rent female ushers as bridesmaid cause the parents ddnt want guest to feel like "yur daughter dont have friends" they just dnt know how to connect with people, their only true friend is their fiancé....
Funny but these set of people are the most loveable , they show lots of love but they don't get it in return...

shirazlova:
Im a regular contributor here on Nairaland but have had to create a new profile for the sake of being anonymous

My problem is that all my life I've struggled to make or maintain female friendships due to one reason or another. Distance, change of location, falling out/unresolved conflict, jealousy, fake friends etc.. It's something I'm ashamed of and I often feel sad that I don't have my clique of friends especially now that I'm about getting married. It saddens me that at this time of my life where I'm supposed to be joyous and be surrounded by girlfriends helping me with wedding preparations, choosing a dress etc, I have no one to call on. I've had to shop for my dress alone which was quite a depressing experience. Everytime my parents or aunties ask of my friends I come up with one story or another or just change the topic completely.

My fiancée is very much aware of my lack of friends but he's not bothered by it at all. I'm in my early/mid twenties and I feel so saddened to see other girls my age with lots of girlfriends. I have a big family however most of my cousins are male.

How do I go about doing my wedding with no bridesmaids whatsoever! It'll be such a mortifying experience for my wedding guests and family members to notice I have no friends.
What do I do about this?
I'd appreciate matured responses pls.

mail me at allegratessy @ gmail.com.
I'm in to help yu

I thought I'm weird but reading yours I believe I am not. I have only 2 girl friends & these 2 will be my maids next month. 1 is my maid of honour while the other is the maid. Relatives have been asking why I have only 2 friends all my life but what they don't know is that these friends are more than friends to me but they are my sisters.

Having the same problem

I attended a wedding few years bk, I was invited by a friend. The bride had no friends, I mean none. She had to tell her cousins to pls invite their friends which they did, my dear we were plenty, it was colorful n beautiful, we danced with her in, did plenty shakara, trust uni girls na. Ask ur cousins for help, tell d male cousins to invite their girl friends et all, they don't v to buy aso ebi. I'm also getting married soon but I'm not doing bridal train stuff, all my friends must where aso ebi n tie gele, lil brides n ring bearer is enough

op,
get your younger sister or a relation or even a colleague at the office to be your maid of honour!
all you need is one person abeg and if you dont have, heaven will not fall. the most important is
the marriage and not the wedding ceremony.

booqee:
when did bridesmaids start doing the job of the caterers and food service?? do u live in france??

It happens well well, abi na u dey france naijanfor show

Op, seriously where is d wedding going to hold?? U will be shocked nairalanders will turn up n rep friendships o

I'm gonna be your bride maid. No need to worry again. Oya clean your eyes

shirazlova:
Im a regular contributor here on Nairaland but have had to create a new profile for the sake of being anonymous

My problem is that all my life I've struggled to make or maintain female friendships due to one reason or another. Distance, change of location, falling out/unresolved conflict, jealousy, fake friends etc.. It's something I'm ashamed of and I often feel sad that I don't have my clique of friends especially now that I'm about getting married. It saddens me that at this time of my life where I'm supposed to be joyous and be surrounded by girlfriends helping me with wedding preparations, choosing a dress etc, I have no one to call on. I've had to shop for my dress alone which was quite a depressing experience. Everytime my parents or aunties ask of my friends I come up with one story or another or just change the topic completely.

My fiancée is very much aware of my lack of friends but he's not bothered by it at all. I'm in my early/mid twenties and I feel so saddened to see other girls my age with lots of girlfriends. I have a big family however most of my cousins are male.

How do I go about doing my wedding with no bridesmaids whatsoever! It'll be such a mortifying experience for my wedding guests and family members to notice I have no friends.
What do I do about this?
I'd appreciate matured responses pls.

I think I knw ur type..u're not too social. Just like my wife, she doesn't keep friends.
Sometimes, life is better without friends.

Friends or no friends, u'll become a Mrs..don't worry; buh if u're d bad type or u like classing ur self this is a warning. Change ur ways asap

Bridesmaids for rent