What is worth doing is worth doing PROPERLY. Not to conform to society but not all friends siblings and cousins are totally not helpful

shevon:


I agree with everything you posted apart from that which I put in bold. Maybe you are referring to the bridesmaids of old, but the ones I have seen in the past 3 years (at least at friends and family weddings) they are all about show off and forming ajebo. The most annoying part is that they will also be demanding for a table where they can all sit and that it should be close to where the couple will be seated.

Not to derail the topic, my dear, I feel your pain but you cannot kill yourself if nothing comes up before your wedding. If you eventually still cannot get, I will advice you just do something different for a change. Like the poster I quoted mentioned, they actually make weddings colorful especially when you are dancing into the hall but after then (in my own opinion) they would have exhausted there usefulness.

I will suggest you get a chief brides maid and you guy gets a best man to stand by you guys in the church. At the point of dancing into the hall, get you plenty male cousins to make it fun. Just make yours different from what the society is used to and catch all the fun while you are at it.

Kpele.

SAMBARRY:
yimu too.i didn't say bridesmaids is compulsory but it's necessary. How can you say you don't have friends. Na so your character bad reach? Haba. Not even like 3dependable friends office colleagues school friends ex class mates roommates or few church friends. Abeg slow down joor. If that's how everybody lived their lives who will you see to be there for you to help you hug you confide with jist with shop with or pray with before your husba came along. Which kain life be that one.



The point is friends have a role to play in every man and woman's life. The bad friends give us experience and lessons and the good ones give us memories. Both are important to make us more resilient when life throws stones at us

Blablablabla!!!

ErepaTV:


Blablablabla!!!

no wonder you are friendless

shirazlova:
Im a regular contributor here on Nairaland but have had to create a new profile for the sake of being anonymous

My problem is that all my life I've struggled to make or maintain female friendships due to one reason or another. Distance, change of location, falling out/unresolved conflict, jealousy, fake friends etc.. It's something I'm ashamed of and I often feel sad that I don't have my clique of friends especially now that I'm about getting married. It saddens me that at this time of my life where I'm supposed to be joyous and be surrounded by girlfriends helping me with wedding preparations, choosing a dress etc, I have no one to call on. I've had to shop for my dress alone which was quite a depressing experience. Everytime my parents or aunties ask of my friends I come up with one story or another or just change the topic completely.

My fiancée is very much aware of my lack of friends but he's not bothered by it at all. I'm in my early/mid twenties and I feel so saddened to see other girls my age with lots of girlfriends. I have a big family however most of my cousins are male.

How do I go about doing my wedding with no bridesmaids whatsoever! It'll be such a mortifying experience for my wedding guests and family members to notice I have no friends.
What do I do about this?
I'd appreciate matured responses pls.

olodo....y dont u voluntier urself.....If u are a guy denpretend to be a girl

SAMBARRY:
no wonder you are friendless

Who need friends when I have sambarry

SAMBARRY:
yimu too.i didn't say bridesmaids is compulsory but it's necessary. How can you say you don't have friends. Na so your character bad reach? Haba. Not even like 3dependable friends office colleagues school friends ex class mates roommates or few church friends. Abeg slow down joor. If that's how everybody lived their lives who will you see to be there for you to help you hug you confide with jist with shop with or pray with before your husba came along. Which kain life be that one.



The point is friends have a role to play in every man and woman's life. The bad friends give us experience and lessons and the good ones give us memories. Both are important to make us more resilient when life throws stones at us

Kulyie Kulyie Kulyieeeee! (I hope I got the name right?) Phahahhahahahahahaha @ your assumptions!

You should understand that some just don't fancy having many friends; they prefer to be alone.

Like I said, I grew up without having barrage of friends and this has influenced my way of life-by keeping to myself. What I have are more of acquaintances.

Keeping friends is just not in me. I'm not disputing the value of friendship but I just prefer being alone at time. I have just a few friends (2-3) and we communicate when the need arises. Kulyieeeeee, u ehn!

One more thing: I believe we meet people for a REASON and SEASON. Once that has been accomplished, it's time to move on.
Takia

Hmmm we have similar personality, u can send me a mail if u need me at ur wedding, besides wia is d wedding taking place.

Try ladies 4rm ur church. Ur cousins, even those ur male cousins I believe dey hav girl friends who can help out.

I can arrange friends for u if u don't mind

Thanx to all lovely Nairalanders who have ''volunteered'' so far I see most people here are based in Nig. However, i'm in the UK and this is where the wedding will be

Get your husbands groomsmen to bring along their friends for brides maids

I had a funny experience where a friend of mine due to the number in our crew, nobody wanted to step down as a groomsman. Finally his brother was best man and all 12 crew members were groomsmen. The bride was mortified as she didn't have enough bride maids. So we took our girls to complete the setting.


It was one hell of a wedding ceremony.

So u dnt ave any female friends, whao if am invited to dat kind wedding party I may angrily left there bcuz it will look like a gay party..

sorry better go rent friends..

shirazlova:


My fiancée is very much aware of my lack of friends but he's not bothered by it at all. I'm in my early/mid twenties and I feel so saddened to see other girls my age with lots of girlfriends. I have a big family however most of my cousins are male.

How do I go about doing my wedding with no bridesmaids whatsoever! It'll be such a mortifying experience for my wedding guests and family members to notice I have no friends.
What do I do about this?
I'd appreciate matured responses pls.

it happens though but u will not say you never had circles of just normal female friends... ¥ϑú can †ell them about ur wedding & wait to see there reply
.
.
.
.
Besides you can let ur hussy bring the bridal gals.... Trust he has alot of ex-crush before he finally met u
.
.
.
NL вєαυтιƒυℓ ladies LIKE my post if u want to be her friend........

Aliens everywhere

is this evina?

@SAMBARRY and tete; you two are the bomb. I enjoyed reading your posts,so refreshing. Thank you. **runs off to make friends**

SAMBARRY:
yimu too.i didn't say bridesmaids is compulsory but it's necessary. How can you say you don't have friends. Na so your character bad reach? Haba. Not even like 3dependable friends office colleagues school friends ex class mates roommates or few church friends. Abeg slow down joor. If that's how everybody lived their lives who will you see to be there for you to help you hug you,confide in,gist with,shop with or pray with before your husba came along. Which kain life be that one.



The point is friends have a role to play in every man and woman's life. The bad friends give us experience and lessons and the good ones give us memories. Both are important to make us more resilient when life throws stones at us

From a touched heart,''Thank you''. I just learnt something.

tete7000:


Fine to know we have rule out pride, however my main concern here is this: it is true there are many bad people out there but at one point in time one will always be lucky to encounter that one or two reliable person(s) that can be trusted. You met your husband to be and you are really willing to give him yourself in marriage, the same way I believe you should have met that one friend too that you can connect with. Maybe you are allowing your past experience to becloud your judgement and thus you are afraid to associate at all. My argument concerning issues like this is that if we say everyone is bad then we run the risk of saying we are the only righteous person around - doing this will inadvertently amount to being proud and pompous . In the scripture, Elijah the prophet made the same mistake when he told God he is the only righteous one left but God reminded him he has reserved for himself seven thousand (7000) in Israel who have never bowed down their head to or kissed baal (1 Kings 19: 14-19) So I still really want to insist, there would have been one, two person(s) you have met or seem to admire her personality whether at work, in school, in your neighbourhood, in church; try and reach out and embrace if need be. Don't let your past hold you back. However just like I have earlier pointed out, this issue will still always come up in marriage. You are not marrying your husband alone, you marry him and his people. You ll need to learnt to meet people halfway. While maintaining your principle, you will always need to accomodate people with their baggages. I am not however judging you, I have no such prerogative. We are all just together in this trying to find a way around a complicated issue and I am trying to analyse it the way I see things, though I may be wrong.

i love your perception. So enlightening. God Bless you.

sassygal:
Hi,

Its not compulsory you use your friends as bridesmaid on your wedding day, but if you want a large bridal party, you could ask neighbours or even rent bridesmaid. You necessarily dont
have to pay them, just take care of their essentials - dress, hair, makeup, transport. I did that for a client once, could do that if you want. I simply used my ushers.

You shouldn't be ashamed of being friendless, in the long run, it will pay you. Less drama! Otherwise join a church group.

she did it for meeee. Winks

SAMBARRY:
What is worth doing is worth doing PROPERLY. Not to conform to society but not all friends siblings and cousins are totally not helpful

I don't understand...
No vex, na only Sunday school I bin go.

SAMBARRY:
yes you're right about that and I don't blame bridesmaids for that because some guests especially some women at parties never like minding their business. They like over sabi and are very overbearing. For example I've gone for a wedding where I eas a guest and a woman sitting not too far from me was yelling at a total stranger who happens to be one of the brides maid to help serve the guest. The way she was shouting at her was just too rude . and even if the bridesmaid wanted to help she won't help because her approach was very lousy. To the extent that the way she was yelling at her she almost wanted to push my baby sitting to the ground accidentally. That was when I became mad and shouted at her to respect herself and mind my baby .If she knows how to do it she should stand up and join the caterers instead of shouting. That was how the bridesmaid was able to escape





till I left there she didn't say a word.

that is y you need event planners to get people to do this job..sooo if guests are rude to them they wont mind cuz they knw they will get paid ..instead of guest harassing bridesmaid n creating enemies @ the party wer they supposed to mingle have fun n make more friends

SAMBARRY:
yes you're right about that and I don't blame bridesmaids for that because some guests especially some women at parties never like minding their business. They like over sabi and are very overbearing. For example I've gone for a wedding where I eas a guest and a woman sitting not too far from me was yelling at a total stranger who happens to be one of the brides maid to help serve the guest. The way she was shouting at her was just too rude . and even if the bridesmaid wanted to help she won't help because her approach was very lousy. To the extent that the way she was yelling at her she almost wanted to push my baby sitting to the ground accidentally. That was when I became mad and shouted at her to respect herself and mind my baby .If she knows how to do it she should stand up and join the caterers instead of shouting. That was how the bridesmaid was able to escape





till I left there she didn't say a word.

that is y you need event planners to get people to do this job..sooo if guests are rude to them they wont mind cuz they knw they will get paid ..instead of guest harassing bridesmaid n creating enemies @ the party wer they supposed to mingle have fun n make more friends

mcdokwe:
If you have subsisted without friends all this while, now is not the time to seek company that could end up marring your marriage.

Weddings last less than 6 hours and a lot of ladies wouldn't mind down it for just clothes and shoes, if you end up building friendship with them, fine. Otherwise move on and concentrate in making your man your friend and the kids that would sonn be coming


HML

final answer

op, u are like me. I don't have friends for the same reasons as yours. Mine is aggravated by the fact I lived abroad in my late teens/young adult years.

I barely had anyone for grooms men. It was church people that stood in for me. Just b4 mine, a guy in Church was going to hold his wedding without a bestman. Just 2 days to the D-day, I decided to help out and I spent a lot of money to get all the attire and suits.

if you do a mass wedding, it won't be obvious. Catholic, Winners etc conduct mass wedding.

your first attempt at a wedding should be made colorful,entertaining and exciting not only for you but for your guests. i personally view a wedding with no bridal train as DRY. even if you no do asoebi sef,no wahala but that bridal train must they biko. its part of the paparazzi o.

Yesinde:
she did it for meeee. Winks

my one and only Oga Madam! Anything for the girls?

BeloHorizonte14:
i love your perception. So enlightening. God Bless you.

Thanks so much. May God bless us all.

Mariecakes:


that is y you need event planners to get people to do this job..sooo if guests are rude to them they wont mind cuz they knw they will get paid ..instead of guest harassing bridesmaid n creating enemies @ the party wer they supposed to mingle have fun n make more friends

You're right my dear

Read again or tell someone to read it for you if you don't understand my dear

shevon:

I don't understand...
No vex, na only Sunday school I bin go.

BeloHorizonte14:
From a touched heart,''Thank you''. I just learnt something.

You're welcome sweet

sowi u hear. BT trying being a frnd to som1 n expect nthin from dem