This may be my last topic on Nairaland and I just think to dedicate it to the teens on Nairaland as I am getting old it's time I retired so the coming ones can write informatively and educatively on Relationship.

Teens days as it stands from ages has been the determiner of events of the future for the teens. A wasted teens days is already a wasted life and if much will be done to correct that the Good done will only be an inset of the real deed. If there is anything I regret in life or stand to regret that will be my teens days; I must say if I had made use of my Teens days like am presently doing now I will by now somewhere representing my dear country Nigeria academically.

Many a thing can be discussed relative to teens days but I will focus my energy on that which seems essential and critical. Dating today has become a must for teens as we see everyday. I was counselling a teen tonight on relationship and some question came up which she took time to reflect on before answering.

So I think these questions can be of help to every teens out their who are under intense pressure to succour to Relationship...

1. What Do You Intend To Give: Relationship involve giving and sharing. The question here is what do you Intend to give as a teen? You probably don't have the money to squandered around like the grown guys you see. As a girl we know you don't have to money out but you will have to give your body to him. If your body is all you can offer as a teen why not wait till you have the substitution like money and emotional maturity before you get involve in a Dating game?.

2. What do you Intend To gain: One day I was counselling someone and I asked her this question "why did you want relationship so badly?" and she said for companionship. The question here which kind of companionship will a teen want? Getting yourself involved in a Relationship as a teen profits you nothing but failure.. That's what made me have D7 in my Chemistry exam so much my teacher called me behind and told me "Dating won't help you...you are not like this before"

3. Any Plan For The Future: A teen I counsel earlier tonight when I asked her "do you guy hope to marry" She said God forbid!. I can't just began to laugh. Why waste your time on a fruitless adventure when you have No hope about the end?

4. Will it help your academy: Like I said earlier I was so busy about Dating that I had E8 in English language. When I was talking to a friend why she is single at her age she said "Because I don't want distraction" Truth is Dating distract you more than it does to the grown up because they have the mind to get it off but you teens have No such ability. So why engaged in something that can affect your academy?

You guys are the leaders of tomorrow and we expect you to lead yourself today so you can be confident of leading us tomorrow.

I want you to know all advice that will be given on this thread to you are for your benefit and from experience.

Guys over to you....your personal experience can be of help to our teens.

©Starlingslimnet

Nice one op.. Also my advice to you children, dnt do drugs...

Even if konji catch u and tie rope for ur hand, at least, use a condom. It will save u a lot of future embarassment.

Nice one op


ur no. 4 xo true, it distract lyk madt.

lasstropinky why iz diz post goin to b ur last?

I hpe u r ok

*weeps and wails*..

Op Op. .. Hmmmn okay sha. I comment my reserve.. .

Btw

You're absolutely spot on, but honestly I don't see anything in teenage dating.. .

I don't know why the teenagers of nowadays can't just face their books and forget about romance. ..




EricRichie

Intriguing.!

those days in sec schul...i had a classmate who hd a bf in our class...n i was claiming holy and preaching to her(which isnt bad) until i realise smthn dey were doing grt academically;great together and they had plans for the future.i realise not all teen relationships are programmed to be bad.dating sometyms cld b more abt been ur partners BFF if u know the gud sides of dating;go for it

Crap.

hmm

@lasstropinky
i disagree with most of what you said, as you are painting teenagers like some clueless/mindless people, and if they are then let it be because of the wrong upbringing/education they got from their parents. IMHO there is nothing wrong about a teen dating so long as his/her parents has instilled in him/her the right and wrongs of life, and prepare them mentally for the real world. you have to be part of that child's life from the get go, meaning from that 1st day they open their eyes/minds until their teenage years and well into adulthood. so many parents dont educate/follow/care/raise their kids and expect that "wild" person to ultimately act right. nonsense! also, let us remember that some kids out there will become rebellious whether you raise them proper or not, and as parents, there is very little you can do about it.

#1: there is much a teenager can give but their body or money. affection/friendship/companionship/care/warmth/a sense of self/ a sense of being loved etc. many teenagers who were raised properly would understand the dangers and consequences attached to having sex, and most importantly, would understand that such act is made for adults (even though many are doing it from a very young age). also, it is good to note that most kids who are not raised/educated properly on the dangers of life by their parents will therefore be raised and educated by their mates, which is the 1st step to failure. sadly, beating your child when they fail or threatening to beat them if they do is just the wrong approach here (but sadly one that many parent take).

#2: sadly, here is where (as a supposed counsellor) you are wrong. we ALL need companionship, we all need a self of being, and this from a very young age. love is a feeling that can be felt while very young. it is also a very NATURAL feeling so long as it is toward someone your own age (teenagers). so trying to tell a child that A) it aint right or B) they should disregard that feeling is wrong on so many levels. what you need to do is educate that child how to love RIGHT. most people fail with their kids when they try to block such strong feeling thats coming from a teenager, who has a young mind and probably dont understand what is going on. in this day and age where the media is quick to throw all sort of nonsense whether in TV/internet/phones/street advertisement etc, it is each and every parents duty to be the one to prepare your child against all that nonsense. trying to pretend that its not there, and/or shield them from it, is IMHO foolish (no offense)

#3: sadly, the last thing you should tell a teenager who is growing up and trying to find their identity/worth/mind/self, is to make them believe that any r/ship MUST end up in marriage. thats such a wrong way to look at r/ship, its sickening. if you listen carefully to your children, you will realise that from their kindergarden years they have GFs/BFs, and although it starts as kids joke, thats what they feel at such a young age. you should certainly not tell that kid that what they feel is wrong, what you should tell them is that "when times come, you will find someone who will love you (and vice versa) with whom you will get married and have a family of your own.... but that there are priorities in life and before you can get married, you need to have an EDUCATION then A JOB, and possibly then you can get married". should that mean they cannot love until then, of course NOT, they just need to be educated RIGHT to know how to love as a teenager. teenagers should not be allowed to do adult stuff as they should know very early the consequences of such act, sex is for adults and if you raise your kids right they will know that, and refrain from it. they should also know that they may have urges, be socially pressured etc but at the end, they must wait for the right time do such act.

#4: is it not in schools that most of the dating starts?! you have to accept the time/world we live in, and ADAPT, if not you will simply fail with your kids. you have to let a child knows that she can go meet her friends, chat online etc when that child has finished his/her studies and her home duties. you need to be on top of your game and BE THERE physically around that child. you need to TALK to that child and RAISE that child, be physically there... it is definitely NOT an easy job but it has to be done in order to raise your kid RIGHTEOUSLY. so many people are allowing some stoopid housegirl/boy/school friends etc to raise their kids, then turn around and wonder why they have failed. so many people give every toy possible to their kids but fail to give them the most important tool, which is a conscience/mind/brain/acting right etc, that these teenagers can use properly when things such as sex etc will come into the picture.

MRBrownJ:
@lasstropinky
i disagree with most of what you said, as you are painting teenagers like some clueless/mindless people, and if they are then let it be because of the wrong upbringing/education they got from their parents. IMHO there is nothing wrong about a teen dating so long as his/her parents has instilled in him/her the right and wrongs of life, and prepare them mentally for the real world. you have to be part of that child's life from the get go, meaning from that 1st day they open their eyes/minds until their teenage years and well into adulthood. so many parents dont educate/follow/care/raise their kids and expect that "wild" person to ultimately act right. nonsense! also, let us remember that some kids out there will become rebellious whether you raise them proper or not, and as parents, there is very little you can do about it.

#1: there is much a teenager can give but their body or money. affection/friendship/companionship/care/warmth/a sense of self/ a sense of being loved etc. many teenagers who were raised properly would understand the dangers and consequences attached to having sex, and most importantly, would understand that such act is made for adults (even though many are doing it from a very young age). also, it is good to note that most kids who are not raised/educated properly on the dangers of life by their parents will therefore be raised and educated by their mates, which is the 1st step to failure. sadly, beating your child when they fail or threatening to beat them if they do is just the wrong approach here (but sadly one that many parent take).

#2: sadly, here is where (as a supposed counsellor) you are wrong. we ALL need companionship, we all need a self of being, and this from a very young age. love is a feeling that can be felt while very young. it is also a very NATURAL feeling so long as it is toward someone your own age (teenagers). so trying to tell a child that A) it aint right or B) they should disregard that feeling is wrong on so many levels. what you need to do is educate that child how to love RIGHT. most people fail with their kids when they try to block such strong feeling thats coming from a teenager, who has a young mind and probably dont understand what is going on. in this day and age where the media is quick to throw all sort of nonsense whether in TV/internet/phones/street advertisement etc, it is each and every parents duty to be the one to prepare your child against all that nonsense. trying to pretend that its not there, and/or shield them from it, is IMHO foolish (no offense)

#3: sadly, the last thing you should tell a teenager who is growing up and trying to find their identity/worth/mind/self, is to make them believe that any r/ship MUST end up in marriage. thats such a wrong way to look at r/ship, its sickening. if you listen carefully to your children, you will realise that from their kindergarden years they have GFs/BFs, and although it starts as kids joke, thats what they feel at such a young age. you should certainly not tell that kid that what they feel is wrong, what you should tell them is that "when times come, you will find someone who will love you (and vice versa) with whom you will get married and have a family of your own.... but that there are priorities in life and before you can get married, you need to have an EDUCATION then A JOB, and possibly then you can get married". should that mean they cannot love until then, of course NOT, they just need to be educated RIGHT to know how to love as a teenager. teenagers should not be allowed to do adult stuff as they should know very early the consequences of such act, sex is for adults and if you raise your kids right they will know that, and refrain from it. they should also know that they may have urges, be socially pressured etc but at the end, they must wait for the right time do such act.

#4: is it not in schools that most of the dating starts?! you have to accept the time/world we live in, and ADAPT, if not you will simply fail with your kids. you have to let a child knows that she can go meet her friends, chat online etc when that child has finished his/her studies and her home duties. you need to be on top of your game and BE THERE physically around that child. you need to TALK to that child and RAISE that child, be physically there... it is definitely NOT an easy job but it has to be done in order to raise your kid RIGHTEOUSLY. so many people are allowing some stoopid housegirl/boy/school friends etc to raise their kids, then turn around and wonder why they have failed. so many people give every toy possible to their kids but fail to give them the most important tool, which is a conscience/mind/brain/acting right etc, that these teenagers can use properly when things such as sex etc will come into the picture.

kudos

sinaj:
Nice one op


ur no. 4 xo true, it distract lyk madt.

lasstropinky why iz diz post goin to b ur last?

I hpe u r ok

Am good sinaj.. I will just be commenting on Topics as from now on dear.. I got to add value to people here. Good morning

lasstropinky:
Am good sinaj.. I will just be commenting on Topics as from now on dear.. I got to add value to people here. Good morning

gud morning to you

barnacle:
those days in sec schul...i had a classmate who hd a bf in our class...n i was claiming holy and preaching to her(which isnt bad) until i realise smthn dey were doing grt academically;great together and they had plans for the future.i realise not all teen relationships are programmed to be bad.dating sometyms cld b more abt been ur partners BFF if u know the gud sides of dating;go for it

The Gud side of it is what is not known to them bro....On my street alone you can 5 teens that got pregnant despite they do not go to Sambisa forest

@MrbrownJ I won't bother to butress my point anymore..But I must say it's a thing of reality that the mentality and way of life of teens disagree with your opinion and ideology of them.. Search Google and see the % of unwanted pregnancy coming from the teens.

sinaj:


gud morning to you

You Looking Happy and refreshed..I guess then you had a wonderful night?

Cutehector:
Nice one op.. Also my advice to you children, dnt do drugs...

Even if konji catch u and tie rope for ur hand, at least, use a condom. It will save u a lot of future embarassment.

Yea drug is destructive and addictive Thanks for your advice bro

EricRichie:
*weeps and wails*..

Op Op. .. Hmmmn okay sha. I comment my reserve.. .

Btw

You're absolutely spot on, but honestly I don't see anything in teenage dating.. .

I don't know why the teenagers of nowadays can't just face their books and forget about romance. ..




EricRichie

Funny thing is people still encourage them to do such...Forgetting they have plenty of time to do Dating thereafter

lasstropinky:
Funny thing is people still encourage them to do such...Forgetting they have plenty of time to do Dating thereafter

VERY very true. .. .



EricRichie

MRBrownJ:
@lasstropinky
i disagree with most of what you said, as you are painting teenagers like some clueless/mindless people, and if they are then let it be because of the wrong upbringing/education they got from their parents. IMHO there is nothing wrong about a teen dating so long as his/her parents has instilled in him/her the right and wrongs of life, and prepare them mentally for the real world. you have to be part of that child's life from the get go, meaning from that 1st day they open their eyes/minds until their teenage years and well into adulthood. so many parents dont educate/follow/care/raise their kids and expect that "wild" person to ultimately act right. nonsense! also, let us remember that some kids out there will become rebellious whether you raise them proper or not, and as parents, there is very little you can do about it.

#1: there is much a teenager can give but their body or money. affection/friendship/companionship/care/warmth/a sense of self/ a sense of being loved etc. many teenagers who were raised properly would understand the dangers and consequences attached to having sex, and most importantly, would understand that such act is made for adults (even though many are doing it from a very young age). also, it is good to note that most kids who are not raised/educated properly on the dangers of life by their parents will therefore be raised and educated by their mates, which is the 1st step to failure. sadly, beating your child when they fail or threatening to beat them if they do is just the wrong approach here (but sadly one that many parent take).

#2: sadly, here is where (as a supposed counsellor) you are wrong. we ALL need companionship, we all need a self of being, and this from a very young age. love is a feeling that can be felt while very young. it is also a very NATURAL feeling so long as it is toward someone your own age (teenagers). so trying to tell a child that A) it aint right or B) they should disregard that feeling is wrong on so many levels. what you need to do is educate that child how to love RIGHT. most people fail with their kids when they try to block such strong feeling thats coming from a teenager, who has a young mind and probably dont understand what is going on. in this day and age where the media is quick to throw all sort of nonsense whether in TV/internet/phones/street advertisement etc, it is each and every parents duty to be the one to prepare your child against all that nonsense. trying to pretend that its not there, and/or shield them from it, is IMHO foolish (no offense)

#3: sadly, the last thing you should tell a teenager who is growing up and trying to find their identity/worth/mind/self, is to make them believe that any r/ship MUST end up in marriage. thats such a wrong way to look at r/ship, its sickening. if you listen carefully to your children, you will realise that from their kindergarden years they have GFs/BFs, and although it starts as kids joke, thats what they feel at such a young age. you should certainly not tell that kid that what they feel is wrong, what you should tell them is that "when times come, you will find someone who will love you (and vice versa) with whom you will get married and have a family of your own.... but that there are priorities in life and before you can get married, you need to have an EDUCATION then A JOB, and possibly then you can get married". should that mean they cannot love until then, of course NOT, they just need to be educated RIGHT to know how to love as a teenager. teenagers should not be allowed to do adult stuff as they should know very early the consequences of such act, sex is for adults and if you raise your kids right they will know that, and refrain from it. they should also know that they may have urges, be socially pressured etc but at the end, they must wait for the right time do such act.

#4: is it not in schools that most of the dating starts?! you have to accept the time/world we live in, and ADAPT, if not you will simply fail with your kids. you have to let a child knows that she can go meet her friends, chat online etc when that child has finished his/her studies and her home duties. you need to be on top of your game and BE THERE physically around that child. you need to TALK to that child and RAISE that child, be physically there... it is definitely NOT an easy job but it has to be done in order to raise your kid RIGHTEOUSLY. so many people are allowing some stoopid housegirl/boy/school friends etc to raise their kids, then turn around and wonder why they have failed. so many people give every toy possible to their kids but fail to give them the most important tool, which is a conscience/mind/brain/acting right etc, that these teenagers can use properly when things such as sex etc will come into the picture.

Word.

lasstropinky:
@MrbrownJ I won't bother to butress my point anymore..But I must say it's a thing of reality that the mentality and way of life of teens disagree with your opinion and ideology of them.. Search Google and see the % of unwanted pregnancy coming from the teens.

bro, unwanted pregnancy is a different ball game.... for your child to be having sex at such a young age is ONE level of failure, but that they do so without knowing how to protect themselves, is the HIGHEST level of parenting fail. again, it has all to do with EDUCATION, and if parents are not willing to educate their kids, then some dumbass teenager will do that job for the parent. in this day and age of HIV/AIDS, you really have to be completely clueless and lost to become pregnant as a teen.... and only your parents can be blamed for that.

from their very young age, you have to set rules that they cannot break and boundaries that they cannot cross, and if you see that while growing up they follow these rules/boundaries then you are possibly on a winner here, BUT if they keep breaking these rules and crossing their boundaries then you know that you have to step up your game as this may be a difficult child to handle.

yes, many kids today have a stubborn mind and push their parents to their limits, and during puberty they may rebel against your authority, and do wrong just to try to be their own self, and against your words.... but these are the kids that need more following, more patience, more hand on ground, a different approach etc. you may have to deal with them in a different manner when time comes (clashes are not recommended). although wrong will always be wrong, you need to adapt to such problem child.

so if they foolishly start to have sex, even though you have raised them to understand the dangers of such act, you MUST adapt to the situation and educate them on how to properly do such adult act (use protection etc). not doing so can only result in unwanted pregnancy or worse. at that particular time, the deed is done and you cant go back in time, therefore there is no way around it but to educate them on the subject.

btw: if you have raised your kids right then they will know that there is no such thing as "unwanted pregnancy". when you have sex it is to make babies, there is no such thing as sex for sport.... and since there is no NO WAY to be safe 100% from pregnancy, let alone deadly diseases, they must use their brains to act RIGHT (with the RIGHT person) or face the consequences of doing WRONG.

educate them that
- there is nothing wrong with saying NO
- there is nothing wrong with being different
- there is nothing wrong with not giving into pressure
- there is nothing wrong with NOT being cool
- there is nothing wrong with standing by your decision
- there is nothing wrong with being YOU