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Re: The Hypocrisy by Nobody: 9:14pm On May 09, 2015 |
Buhahahahahahahaha!!! Don't you just love Nairaland men with their double standards?? Bunch of jokers 8 Likes |
Re: The Hypocrisy by mulanbaba: 9:16pm On May 09, 2015 |
its also true that whats hurts the most is that he cheated with my best friend. At the moment i am just numb towards him, no feelings whatsoever. i am also shocked that his best buddies are betraying him the way they are doing right now because he is currently staying at his( the one who suggested a divorce lawyer) house since he is single. So hubby is always asking him to come talk to me on his behalf but the friend comes to my house to encourage me to divorce him instead, i mean what is that? does this mean one cant trust friends anymor? because the rate at which they are willing to backstab him shows that they dont like him at all. and i am also deducing that my best friend must have hated me to have an affair with him. I mean none of his friends hev anything nice to say about him to me so it shows that they have been jealous of him all along, because three of them got married after us and they are all divorced. i am so confused because what he did is not a small thing at all, i am struggling to believe that he hasnt cheated before this incidence maybe i just never found out. i mean how can he cheat when i perfom so well for him sexually, what was missing? how can i trust that i will ever be enough for him? So at the moment NL is where i can say how i feel and get differeent perspective and some home truths. did my suggesting swinging to him drove him to cheat? How come friends he trust so much are willing to betray him so easily? are humans naturally so callous? |
Re: The Hypocrisy by mulanbaba: 9:18pm On May 09, 2015 |
An0nimus:Yes but born and raised in South Africa why? |
Re: The Hypocrisy by An0nimus: 9:36pm On May 09, 2015 |
mulanbaba:Thought as much. The way you type reminds me of a South African friend About your case, its human to feel the way you do but whatever decision you finally decide to take try and be strong for the kids. Please rule out suicide. All will be well with time. Be strong |
Re: The Hypocrisy by mulanbaba: 9:40pm On May 09, 2015 |
An0nimus: thank you, i didnt try to commit suicide, i was just suicidal at the time. typing here about my feelings has really made me better. Thank you everyone for taking time to give me advice, i really appreciate. i just needed a neutral ear i guess. God bless you all for calming my burning heart 4 Likes |
Re: The Hypocrisy by thorpido(m): 9:49pm On May 09, 2015 |
Just curious mulanbaba,are u based in SA?Is your hubby and your best friend Nigerians? |
Re: The Hypocrisy by Nobody: 10:16pm On May 09, 2015 |
mulanbaba: It just feels to me like you are putting yourself under so much pressure to impress your husband sexually to the point where you suggest swinging even when you don't like it. I wonder why you are under so much pressure to sexually prove yourself to your husband. Could he be feeling pressured as well? You mention sexual satisfaction a lot so your relationship feels very sex based. If you choose to forgive him maybe you guys should communicate about other needs apart from sex. 2 Likes |
Re: The Hypocrisy by mulanbaba: 10:19pm On May 09, 2015 |
thorpido:hubby is nigerian. two of his best friends are zimbabwean and one nigerian |
Re: The Hypocrisy by mulanbaba: 10:21pm On May 09, 2015 |
andromida: i dont know maybe its because i wasnt sexually active when i met him so i wanted to be good for him but then i had some fantasies too that he met as well just like i met his, so i guess since he fulfilled my fantasies and i thought i fulfilled his i thought i should be enough |
Re: The Hypocrisy by Chinum: 10:22pm On May 09, 2015 |
Sophyrocks: Amen. 1 Like |
Re: The Hypocrisy by kukuruku156(f): 10:22pm On May 09, 2015 |
mulanbaba: Please do not blame yourself for him cheating on you. Let him take responsibility for that. Your friend betraying you and his friends doing the same is nothing new. The deceitfulness of man didn't start today and somebody else in another part of the world is going through the very same thing you are. Cry all you want. Rant and grieve if you want to; it's all part of the healing process. But try not to rush into making any big decisions. Still give yourself space from him if needed. The reason why men cheat is not one thing.There is no one answer. Each relationship is peculiar. However why he did it with your best friend is the part that you need to get to the bottom of. When you do finally have the reconciliatory discuss with him,let him tell you the why. |
Re: The Hypocrisy by Nobody: 10:33pm On May 09, 2015 |
mulanbaba:Invite him to a neutral place, also tell him you want it to be just between only you two therefore his friends should not know. When he shows up, convincingly tell him you already have genuine answers but you want to hear it from him and that any lie no matter how little will only worsen things. He should say when was the first time and with whom, his reasons for cheating, if there's has been others, if his friends were aware and if yes what was their take but dont tell him what his friends are doing. This is to ensure his friends did not lead him to his predicament and to see if he is worth a second chance. 1 Like |
Re: The Hypocrisy by Chinum: 10:33pm On May 09, 2015 |
Wedon: Yea, pls what's swinging? |
Re: The Hypocrisy by Chinum: 10:37pm On May 09, 2015 |
Ewuro4: You mean like a three-some or what? |
Re: The Hypocrisy by Nobody: 10:47pm On May 09, 2015 |
mulanbaba: (((hugs))) you are enough but you seem too focused on being the perfect sex mate for him so maybe it's not the sex could be something else is all I am saying because you keep saying he is sexually satisfied so what else does he want. The cheating is not your fault, you can't be responsible for his bad behavior. |
Re: The Hypocrisy by Ewuro4: 10:54pm On May 09, 2015 |
Chinum: More like a 'Four-some' A sexual fantasy many couple explore...Some people derive pleasure from taboos. Anal, swingsx, open marriage, etc Just don't cry foul when the consequences comes knocking your door. Anything , I mean anything can happen. |
Re: The Hypocrisy by Chinum: 10:58pm On May 09, 2015 |
Ewuro4: |
Re: The Hypocrisy by bukatyne(f): 11:01pm On May 09, 2015 |
mulanbaba: OP: whether you take him back or not is your prerogative: However, Please ditch all your friends and Hubby 's friends. You both have managed to surround yourselves with snakes on both sides. Quick question: were you guys the happiest couple /most settled marriage amongst them? 1 Like |
Re: The Hypocrisy by Nobody: 11:02pm On May 09, 2015 |
obowunmi: Hilary clinton? please dnt use her as an example. Hilary clinton is an abitious woman who has always been interested in politics and soaring higher in the white house right frm her school days. She 'forgave' her husband to use his name and connections as a stepping stone to greater heights. Now she is contesting for presidency. Not all women forgive because 'its divine' or because men are anything special. Men could just be a ladder to a destination women want. 8 Likes |
Re: The Hypocrisy by Ewuro4: 11:03pm On May 09, 2015 |
Re: The Hypocrisy by bukatyne(f): 11:09pm On May 09, 2015 |
Phema: Wanted to overlook till I saw This. It is now till death do us part. The husband somehow missed the memo. How they can be So hypocritical and use religion to support themselves at the same time beats me. |
Re: The Hypocrisy by kaboninc(m): 11:38pm On May 09, 2015 |
I really do not have any intention to say anything but since it is an unsolicited advice, maybe I can try. You see mulanbaba, I think these people telling you how 'single' you can be, how you should move on with your life simply because of one 'adventurous' affair of your husband, how women always suffer when their partner cheat, really do not like you one bit. Because when you've filed for divorce, or go 'single' mode or 'move on' with your live, when the storm disappears, and the water becomes still and the tension eventually fades, they won't be there to 'live' with you. They won't be their to not make you feel lonely nor share your pains nor blame. It will be just you and you. See, I don't know ur hubby but from your narrative, from the angles of his buddies, I think your friends scolding you for sending him out are actually correct. This world is a harsh one and only the smartest survive. No one shares your pity. No one actually cares. You just have to fight and be smart about it. Sometimes the decision you take might seem foolish but in reality, they happen to be the best. Since you do love your husband - it is very glaring that you do - hold on to him. However you want him to 'pay' for his 'sin' just don't break him because you'll end up breaking yourself. Good luck to you. Cheers! 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Hypocrisy by mulanbaba: 12:14am On May 10, 2015 |
bukatyne: yes, my friend is a single mother of two and all hubbys friends are divorced. his friends always used to joke that if he mess up they will marry me because good woman are hard to find so now i see it wasnt a joke at all. our marriage was one of those that people always complemented because we were just good together. we understood each other interlectually,emotionally and spiritually. so i can safely say before this bombshell i could swear that my husband is not a cheating type. Now i dont know anymore so my friends just want me to keep the perfect couple image and forget my pain |
Re: The Hypocrisy by mulanbaba: 12:17am On May 10, 2015 |
kaboninc: i am not neccesarily trying to punish or spite his at all. right now i am just reacting as per my feelings. maybe i will forgive him one day am not sure cos he really chose a wrong person to cheat with. i met this woman at boarding school in high school so she was like a sister to me |
Re: The Hypocrisy by obowunmi(m): 12:38am On May 10, 2015 |
Sophyrocks: Story. ... let OP use her husband too. |
Re: The Hypocrisy by Nobody: 2:08am On May 10, 2015 |
Ewuro4: , yes oo, I just want to wondered cod of the way he keeps saying the hubby is very sorry and others are jealous of dere marriage, how he take know |
Re: The Hypocrisy by Qualer: 7:50am On May 10, 2015 |
Sophyrocks: The very babe, always there with an explicit response . I need you as a wife for real!!! 1 Like |
Re: The Hypocrisy by Chinum: 8:53am On May 10, 2015 |
mulanbaba: Now this reminds me of a certain post sometime ago by a guy. He said dat d mother in-law caught him kissing d wife's best friend(dat she also met her in boarding sch). He said d said d said lady was irresistible due to her big cup size or sth like dat. Na so dem go dey experiment till they r caught then they remember d scriptures. Op just being curious. Has ur mum ever come to stay with u guys. The lady too did she stay wif u guys @ a certain time? Is d winsch busty? 1 Like |
Re: The Hypocrisy by EfemenaXY: 9:00am On May 10, 2015 |
5minsmadness: Abegi. Because I don't agree with your views? 3 Likes |
Re: The Hypocrisy by SAMBARRY: 9:03am On May 10, 2015 |
I hope you can type this bull if it was the other way around Aprime: |
Re: The Hypocrisy by SAMBARRY: 9:05am On May 10, 2015 |
Ahen
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Re: The Hypocrisy by SAMBARRY: 9:08am On May 10, 2015 |
Hmmnn 1 Like
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