Why Nigerian men cheat by Damilola Faleke



Man cheating
Most women often ask this question; why do men cheat? Surely, not all men are cheating. Some of them are however more likely get involved in an affair.

Cheating is perhaps the greatest form of betrayal. It’s painful and hard to forgive especially hard to forget. It destroys the trust that has likely been built over the years between couples. It’s the most painful way to hurt a love partner. Knowing this why do they do it anyway? Why do men cheat in a relationship and in marriage?

What do you expect the incoming government of Gen. Muhammadu Buhari to handle first?



Treas and Giesen (2000) found that the likelihood of sexual infidelity was higher for those who had stronger sexual interests, more permissive sexual values, lower subjective satisfaction with their partner, weaker network ties to their partner, and greater sexual opportunities. Studies suggest around 30–40% of unmarried relationships and 18–20% of marriages see at least one incident of sexual infidelity. Men are more likely than women to have a sexual affair, regardless of whether or not they are in a married or unmarried relationship.

The truth is sometimes the men don’t really need a reason to cheat. It’s a matter of character. Men who cheat generally are selfish, self-centered and immature.

Different people define cheating in many ways; you have cheated when you involve yourself in something intimate with someone who is not your spouse. Acts like kissing, contact that involves genitals, staring at another lustfully and exchanging erotic messages with another all constitute one form of cheating or another.

cheater-462x450I recently spoke to a friend of mine, asking him why guys find it normal to cheat on their partners, he replied me saying; “Nobody likes eating just one fruit, they prefer taking lots of fruits. Would you prefer I eat cucumber alone than take fruit salad? No! I just love the combination of different fruits.”

His answer may have been amusing but it left me dazed. He claimed that 88% of Nigerian men cheat, whether married or in a relationship. Yes ladies cheat too but not as obvious as the male counterparts.

Remember that once you are caught cheating in your relationship, you have broken the trust of that relationship. It then becomes difficult for your partner to be physically and emotionally involved with you. I agree that there are several reasons that lead to men cheating on their spouse. I have heard people say they did it for revenge, while others fall out of love or they find someone they love more.

Counselor Gary Neuman asked 200 cheating and non-cheating husbands about why they cheated. He found that 77% of cheating men have a good friend who also cheated.

“Some partners give in easily to the temptation to cheat because that is what their friends and family do. You should not judge a guy by what those around him do, but don’t underestimate the power of influence.”

According to anthropologist Helen Fisher, there are numerous psychological reasons for adultery. Some people may want to supplement a marriage, solve a sex problem, gather more attention, seek revenge, or have more excitement in the marriage.

Based on Fisher’s research, there also is a biological side to adultery. “We have two brain systems: One of them is linked to attachment and romantic love, and then there is the other brain system, which is purely sex drive.” Sometimes these two brain systems are not well connected, which enables people to become adulterers and satisfy their sex drive without any regards to their attachment side.

lipstickAfter several surveys and discoveries and maybe personal experience too, I decided to state my own reasons why I think men cheat.

Below are the reasons why Nigerian men find cheating as something interesting;

A lot of Nigerian men believe that with money they can get any girl. When they start earning a lot of money, the desire for a side chick grows. Money definitely can be very tempting. A guy begins to think he could have everything he wants with money.

Some men are born to flirt: Flirting is in their veins. He can be happily married with kids but still derive pleasure in chasing other women.

To boost his ego: Infidelity is an ego boost for a man with low self esteem, especially if he’s less successful or earns less money than his partner.

Peer pressure: He spends a lot of time in the company of people who cheat. Just like Dr Neuman said, his colleagues, close friends are all cheating on their mates. So he succumbs to peer pressure and cheats to be part of the crowd.

Sex Starved: People think sex is overrated in a relationship, while others think there are many reasons why sex is important with your spouse. When you are in love, it can connect the two of you in a way unlike any other, but when you deprive your partner from having it to their satisfaction; they look for alternative partners to provide the thrill.

An addiction to sex: According to Psychcentral., “Sexual addiction is best described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts. Like all addictions, its negative impact on the addict and on family members’ increases as the disorder progresses. Over time, the addict usually has to intensify the addictive behavior to achieve the same results.” Many uses this opportunity to cheat on their partner, but it is not an excuse to cheat on your spouse, and it is no reason to remain in a relationship.

The view that it is all a game: He’s a hardcore cheater for whom cheating is a way of life. He likes having lots of women and pitting one against the other. To him, it’s just a game.

To prove his manhood: Some men think that the more women they have sex with, the manlier they are. They think cheating is the macho thing to do.

The influence of drugs or alcohol: A great deal of infidelity (especially one night stands) can be attributed to the influence drugs or alcohol, which can never lower inhibitions and impair good judgement, resulting in behavior the cheater may later regret.

Revenge: Though revenge cheating is more common with women than with men, sometimes a man will cheat to get back at a wife or girlfriend who once cheated on him.

Some girls want to be more than just being friends: Some of his female friends want something more than friendship. They know he is in relationships, nevertheless they dream about becoming his wife. And if they are being too nice with him an affair could happen.

And just so we’re clear, infidelity is wrong. For men who cheat, no reason is valid for cheating on your mate because cheating above all else is an act of disrespect, cowardice and betrayal.

Building with your current partner should be held in sacred regard, not as a deal that has already been “snagged” and can be ignored.


http://www.post-nigeria.com/why-nigerian-men-cheat-by-damilola-faleke/

booked

am sowi I can't read all this.


thanks

ifa hear I read all this