It has been quite a while since i have been on NL and i tried to get over my ex that dumped me years back on Vals Day and move on. I have tried to go for counselling, listen to a lot of successful couples, read relationship mags, busy my self with work and a host of things to see if i could let go of my emotional excess relationship baggage and learn to trust cupid to make things happen but i think i am way above redemption!

I met a girl i liked last december and promised myself to make it work either for good or for bad and i know i have been seriously trying. I won't say she has done anything evil to me or made me hate her but my demons are coming back again with full force to abandon the relationship hastily.

Valentines day has never been a good day for me because it brings bad so many bad memories for me and i try to re-enact them in the opposite direction. She told me finally 2 weeks ago that she loved me and the look in her eyes was so sincere that i know she couldnt have uttered that word without such deep thoughts. The problem is i cant find it in my heart to tell another woman i love her so sincerely and i think the more she is thinking i am her husband material, the more i am preventing her from seeking happiness with a guy that truely loves her.

She made me promise that i wont break her heart or cheat on her some time back and i promised i won't but i know i was lying because i treat relationships with so much distrust and suspicions. Everything a girlfriend does or says has more than 100 million meanings to it and i am ready to pre empt the first missile strike before She does.

Vals day is coming and the horrors of that day has been replaying in my head for more than a month now. I like her and appreciate her but i cant decieve myself any more! I Have to walk away on or before Vals Day! I feel a little worried that this might shatter her emotionally but Truthfully i have built my self to be remorseless and a huge Chinese Impervious Impenetrable wall towards the so called advantages of falling in love with all your heart and body!

I wonder when i am going to actually believe love exist again

I dont know whether it a disease or some mental psychological problem or just plain mean when these thoughts crop up but all i know is that i dont feel any form of remorse afterwards and still wander off to seek another girl to be with me after i have broken up with he last one!

If by the 15th of Februrary, i am still with her and some form of miracle or fluke of nature prevents me from doing what i have to do to make me happy, then i know:

a. Miracles exists

b. She is going to be my only wife

I don't want to be too liberal by saying
you've grown for the better a 100% but i'll give you a 60!!!
You kinda sound more sane than you used to. . . .Let's see where this present
relationship leads to. Give us feedback.

" "

Well, I sincerely hope everything turns out for the best, love can be a beautiful thing

Love is a crime

Now this Adam Brody is better than the previous one and thats a tremendous improvement.I wish this leads straight to the altar! Keep us informed please.Cheers

Bro,!Be prayerful and keep working hard 2 try and make it work.wishing u the very best

You are the only one that can redeem yourself
Just make a conscious effort to make it work
I pray you dont break her heart

Adamu, oh my, am really happy for you oh.

You were so bitter before, I was begining to think your case is lost.

Now, just dnt think abt val, think of it as any other day.

Good luck, my dear, you have my blessings.

Wait, is she Nigerian?

Adam dude long time.missed ur controversy.do what u feel is right. Plus this romance section getting overhauled by soft dudes.f##k

Adam Brody:

It has been quite a while since i have been on NL and i tried to get over my ex that dumped me years back on Vals Day and move on. I have tried to go for counselling, listen to a lot of successful couples, read relationship mags, busy my self with work and a host of things to see if i could let go of my emotional excess relationship baggage and learn to trust cupid to make things happen but i think i am way above redemption!

I met a girl i liked last december and promised myself to make it work either for good or for bad and i know i have been seriously trying. I won't say she has done anything evil to me or made me hate her but my demons are coming back again with full force to abandon the relationship hastily.

Valentines day has never been a good day for me because it brings bad so many bad memories for me and i try to re-enact them in the opposite direction. She told me finally 2 weeks ago that she loved me and the look in her eyes was so sincere that i know she couldnt have uttered that word without such deep thoughts. The problem is i cant find it in my heart to tell another woman i love her so sincerely and i think the more she is thinking i am her husband material, the more i am preventing her from seeking happiness with a guy that truely loves her.

She made me promise that i wont break her heart or cheat on her some time back and i promised i won't but i know i was lying because i treat relationships with so much distrust and suspicions. Everything a girlfriend does or says has more than 100 million meanings to it and i am ready to pre empt the first missile strike before She does.

Vals day is coming and the horrors of that day has been replaying in my head for more than a month now. I like her and appreciate her but i cant decieve myself any more! I Have to walk away on or before Vals Day! I feel a little worried that this might shatter her emotionally but Truthfully i have built my self to be remorseless and a huge Chinese Impervious Impenetrable wall towards the so called advantages of falling in love with all your heart and body!

I wonder when i am going to actually believe love exist again

I dont know whether it a disease or some mental psychological problem or just plain mean when these thoughts crop up but all i know is that i dont feel any form of remorse afterwards and still wander off to seek another girl to be with me after i have broken up with he last one!

If by the 15th of Februrary, i am still with her and some form of miracle or fluke of nature prevents me from doing what i have to do to make me happy, then i know:

a. Miracles exists

b. She is going to be my only wife

Howdie hommie, we have missed you

Babe, here's my take on the issue, I know its long, but tough

No one is above redemption. Your real value should come from who you are, not who you are with, and you are right to feel the way you do because you were hurt badly, and the reason it hurt was because you are a human being with feelings, and a very very good person, hence the reason why you have not gotten over the shock till date.


Like I said earlier, you are a very good person with a good heart, hence the reason you have been ruminating over why people could be so cruel. But then, seeking solution to the whys and whatnot, and seeking revenge to mask the pain, is not the best way to go about it. All it does is keep the wound open, and not allow it to heal. Be patient with yourself, don't knock yourself down, deal with the pain and the loss.


You need to take a time-out and step away from relationships for a while, to give yourself a chance to re-discover yourself again. Use the time to re-evaluate yourself and discover what you need in a relationship, and what you are going to bring to it as well.

In the meantime, though as a guy you might find it uncomfortable, what you need to do is surround yourself with friends who will tell it to you as it is, as well as positive people who can reassure you about the good things about you. Invest your time in things that you love doing, listen to songs that would uplift you, go out with friends, etc. Grieve and cry if you have to, it does not make you less of a man.


If you really love this new girl, you have to sit her down before next week and tell her you have a problem with trust, as you have been badly burnt before. You are not supposed to hold back certain things if you truly love someone.


Open up to her and let her know how you really feel, let her work with you, if you both want it, and if she loves you, she will understand. If you have to break up with her because you do not genuinely love her, let her know gently and reassure her that its not her, that it's you, and if possible allow her unlimited access to you, so that she can be reassured that you are not dumping her for someone else.


I know I keep on saying you are a good person, but trust me, I am not doing it to patronise you, if I felt that you were an arsehole and a jerk, I would have made my feeling known the first time you tabled your issue on NL.


Just about everyone of us has experienced a break-up at sometime, and have experienced the feelings you are going through, its normal, you are normal. The break-up was not your fault, so you do not have to beat yourself about it. But its high-time you pull yourself up by the bootstraps, you cannot change the past. Cut your loss and stop investing time in her and move on. Sometimes its not the holding on that makes us strong, but the letting go

Anyway, here's something by Kris Hydmore to help you along the way, and to let you know that life and love is not always a bed of roses. If this guy paid me for everytime I used this as a reference and as a solace, I would be a millionaire by now

The Risk of Love
There is a risk involved in everything
Every time you share a smile
Every time you shed a tear
You are opening yourself up to hurt.

Some people tread slowly through life,
Avoiding the closeness risk brings,
Sidestepping the things they can not understand
Turning away from those who care too much-
Those who care stay too long,
Those who hold too tightly.

There is never an easy way to love
You cannot approach it cautiously
It will not wait for you to arm yourself.

It does not care if you turn away
It is everywhere, it is everything.
Love is the greatest of all risks.

It is not reliable, it is not cautious,
It is not sympathetic
It is unprejudiced and unmerciful.
It strikes the strongest of mind,
And brings them to their knees in one blow.

Even in the best of times, love hurts.
It hurts to need, it hurts to belong,
It hurts to be the other part of someone else,
Without either of your consent.

But, from the moment it overtakes you,
It hurts worse to be all alone.
The risk of love never depletes;
It grows stronger and more dangerous with time.
But, it is in the total surrender of all defense,
That we, no matter weak or strong,
No matter willing or captive,
No matter what, we truly experience love.

Despite the many things love is not,
Outweighing it all are the things that love is.
Love is surrender without a loss.
It is a gift without the cost.
It consumes your every thought and desire,
Every breath you take.
It is the fire that fuels you
To do more than pass through life;
It urges you, instead, to live.

No matter the outcome, having felt love,
You will never be the same.
It may scar your heart and soul
And leave you only memories of forever.
Or, it may cause every day of your life
To feel like there is no need for tomorrow.
But, love is worth it. It is worth the risk,

For in all of life,
Love is truly the only risk worth taking.


Adam B, a life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses so you have to take a chance on love, or how can you win if you don't play I envy the lucky girl who is going to reap the fruit of the new you, when the right time comes, I can see your passion in all you do and God will reward you

Adam,

I would have suggested for you not to put too much pressure on yourself as regards finding love but you seem very unhappy with the way things are. Kudos to you for trying to get help, keep doing that and maybe one day, you will learn to love again.

Love is just a feeling that goes and comes.

love is some kind of illusion but difficult to quit. i wish you all the best, pray that God will crown you with the right decision.

HeatFusion:

Adamu, oh my, am really happy for you oh.

You were so bitter before, I was begining to think your case is lost.

Now, just dnt think abt val, think of it as any other day.

Good luck, my dear, you have my blessings.

Wait, is she Nigerian?

correct.
i think you should take the val day as any other day,just move on, open your heart to love again,maybe this time you will appriciate it more.

wish you happiness and good health.

the great regret is not he that stumbles but he that stumbles and refuses to stand again,
keep thy faith bro n let go of demons past,

when poverty comes in at the door , love jumps out at the window

Wow! This is quite a relief! I thought i would have been massacred by my arch enemies of last year with my post!

I am trying my best sha and just trying to keep to myself so that i dont become a loose canon before that day and maybe she is noticing that i am kinda reserved and she is not disturbing me for anything so far to flare tempers so i would just continue to see as things go!

Ha! Adam Brody! Your finally online, abeg help us solve this controversy going around on nairaland that i am you o!

Mukina just sent me a messgae that your online so i want to clear any controversy.

Ok now! Lets go there:

Adam brody, are you lawyer?

Have we met before to share girlfriends or dump anybody before

Amebo/ Pinkeyrose Mumu, i hope you are online now too o!

of course i am lawyer too now and also davidylan and also mr crackles and also bluespice and finally j-girl

Lest you forget that i am also seun, debosky and zinzino

You peeps on nl will never have one dull moment in your lives

Am too fast and too furious for you to catch me! The more you look the less you see

Meanwhile, where is my old time foe davidylan! I have missed that pile of dung waste! Is he still yanning opata on nairaland?

what can i say. you are in a big mess.i admire you though cos you are MAN enough to evaluate the whole situation and fill free talking about it truthfully.all the best

adam my darling!
i have truely missed u

dear, im happy to read this from u
u have made a conscious effort to try to redeem urself and i couldnt be more proud of u
u now have a lady in ur life, its natural for u to feel that way-ur old deamons coming back
but if u see the day 14th as another day, maybe u'lld be able to have as much fun possible with this lady

that u could see her feelings when she said that and it having an effect on u says alot on the progress u have made


if all else fails, take sleeping pills and sleep thru out 14th
when u wake up, it will be the 15th so there'lld be no need to break up again

Jeez You guys have really gone soft

What happened to all the fire and brimstone words you used to hurl at me?

Am i sure i am in the right forum?

Everyone here is just talking as if they are mourning someone or there is a general brain freeze!

Guess my long leave of absence has taken a toll on either me or you guys!

Adam Brody:

Jeez You guys have really gone soft

What happened to all the fire and brimstone words you used to hurl at me?

Am i sure i am in the right forum?

Everyone here is just talking as if they are mourning someone or there is a general brain freeze!

Guess my long leave of absence has taken a toll on either me or you guys!

Don't push it, onijogbon

u heard her oh

dont push it

What is Love?

An object whose original copy has escaped and declared wanted for long
But, the fake & pirated copy is very much in circulation.

Same Adam of last year?
When did you become everybody's darling?

If by the 15th of Februrary, i am still with her and some form of miracle or fluke of nature prevents me from doing what i have to do to make me happy, then i know:

a. Miracles exists

b. She is going to be my only wife
is something on your mind?

Giv ur present gf a benefit of doubt. let ur past do not appear to b present. try surpass ur feelings at val day and move out with ur new gf.
dont giv her 100% trust. u may think u re deceiving urself n lying to her but it is not so, u are tryin to avoid the past mistakes. just play along with her but dont be so luving, caring and romantic to her lik u did to ur ex. b a little hard (not all d time) to her. if she truely luvs u she will endure all ur actions to her and still stick on to u.

GUDLUCK DUD

You can do better than what you are into now,dont let past be a hindrance to your present life rather let it be a turning point and a lesson to always embark on.This gurl is in love with you but you are not letting the whole love flair flow,how then will you feel if you were to be in her position?Let her know your feelings cos she is in the best position to help you fight the spirit away.Good Luck man.

get over yourself jeez! the girl doesn't deserve you one bit and I feel very sorry for her.   
your posts remind me of a youtube video I saw online of some idiot with AIDS trying to infect as many unsuspecting women as possible because he was infected by some harlot. face your damn problem and stop bringing anyone and everyone down with you.
people like you don't deserve to walk the earth.
do a little research on the word psychopath and you'll see you fit every description.