He who wears the shoe knows where it pinches, u alone knows what u are passing through, it is not a easy situation both for u and ur wife, u may think that she is ok and nonchalant about the situation, i tell u, any wife that behaves like this has something in mind, check ur heart be sure u did not offend her or do an over do, take her to ur pastor for prayers, God intervention is highly needed here, good luck.

sistawoman:

Please seek a licenced Marriage Counselor.  Find one that is Nigerian therefore you dont have to spend two sessions explaining to him/her your culture.

Make sure this is someone that you both agree with.

Ask the counselor questions-pre interview:

Faith
Marital status - stay away from single counselors
years married[/b]years licenced
where you attended school
Age

Check with your job they may have an employee assistance program that offers free martial counseling

Both of you have to agree to attend and agree to do the work.

I am married this is my second marriage, [b]If I had worked harder at my first I may have been able to save it.  Please work hard.  Please try to save your marriage.
There is alot of hurt behind having a spouse cheat on you and he really needs to understand that he turned his wife against him when he did that.  He has to find out what she needs from him to forgive and he has to give it.

But the wife has to at some point forgive or leave the marriage.  You cant forgive and still hold it over his head.  But you cant forgive unless he does what is necessary for you to forgive and only the injured party knows what it will take to get over the cheating.

I really pray that you two work this out and make this work for the sake of your child.  But if it does not then please dont ever forget that you have a child together and that for him you have to get along and never forget him.

I agree with you
What will a single person tell someone about marriage ?
book knowledge?
Your second point,I highlighted is so relevant.
People make the mistake of  quickly walking out on a troubled marriage only for the same things they ran away from to surface in their next marriage.
As long as there's no physical violence,any marriage still has a chance,that's my philosophy.
We are all humans and we all are subject to weaknesses.
I agree with you,they should do whatever is within their power to save their marriage.

You know before she came and posted I already knew what the wife's story will be lke. Why will she like your older brother when he is moving in with a newly wed couple. No shame and still wants to complain about anything. I knew he was also lying when he said he had only sent 120 pounds to hs mom for a year. He basically told on himself when he posted. Any married woman that read what he wrote would have known right away what was going on. She says he cheated in the past and was even being verbally abusve when she was pregnant. My advice you guys should not reply to any more posts here and focus on repairing your marraige or leaving it. As for me sha I cannot forgive a man that will mistreat me when I am pregnant or bad mouth me to his relatives. If your husband was doing what he was supposed to do as a man his brother would not dare run his mouth. These kinds of things is what separates married men from married boys. If your blood pressure is high imagine how high your wife's was when you told her that you regret marrying her when she was carrying your child. You were very inconsiderate. I am very sure she is now bitter and even being spiteful now. A man who treats his wife with respect will also get respect back. You are not more important than her and she is not more important than you. If you do not see her as number one before your mother or siblings then you cannot even open your mouth to ask for respect.

Outstrip:

You know before she came and posted I already knew what the wife's story will be lke. Why will she like your older brother when he is moving in with a newly wed couple. No shame and still wants to complain about anything. I knew he was also lying when he said he had only sent 120 pounds to hs mom for a year. He basically told on himself when he posted. Any married woman that read what he wrote would have known right away what was going on. She says he cheated in the past and was even being verbally abusve when she was pregnant. My advice you guys should not reply to any more posts here and focus on repairing your marraige or leaving it. As for me sha I cannot forgive a man that will mistreat me when I am pregnant or bad mouth me to his relatives. If your husband was doing what he was supposed to do as a man his brother would not dare run his mouth. These kinds of things is what separates married men from married boys. If your blood pressure is high imagine how high your wife's was when you told her that you regret marrying her when she was carrying your child. You were very inconsiderate. I am very sure she is now bitter and even being spiteful now. A man who treats his wife with respect will also get respect back. You are not more important than her and she is not more important than you. If you do not see her as number one before your mother or siblings then you cannot even open your mouth to ask for respect.

Best reply so far.

@Mozz,

Having your elder bro in your home, is  greatest flaw on your part!!  To worsen matters he follows you and your wife for marriage counselling and shopping? Awwwww, thats way too far!  Do you know what privacy is called?
He should be eternally grateful for your wife securing him a job after 6 yrs of unemployment and not being a home breaker complaining up and down looking for faults! This brother of yours attitudes despites that of an AGBAYA that has no shame!! If you dont know, hes a cunny, envious and a selfish person who you should cut off from, How can ones wife birth and the bro wouldnt call; no matter what might have happened in the past. You seem to be the quiet type and your bro has taken you for granted way too far!!! Cut him to size. Your Elder bro is married now enjoying his own marriage and fights with your wife over unnecessary issues and you also take sides with him,
Mozzilla, your kind of person shouldnt have been married in the first place as you find it difficult to put ur foot down on some certain issues, you place more importance on your siblings and mother rather than your wife,  Why did you get married in the first place? The 2 shall become one.
You have really maltreated your wife and i can imagine whats she going thru,  She cant even advise you on any matter without you  making the comment You hate my family! If she hated your bro, will she help him? Will she offer her bed?
Having said this, Try to apologise to her,  Communicate more often and If you feel your leaving your wife and son in the uk and you running to Nigeria to hang with your siblings and mother is the best solution (I'm sorry for u oooo, FATE HAS A WAY OF CATCHING UP WITH MEN LIKE YOU!).

**osisi:

I agree with you
What will a single person tell someone about marriage ?
book knowledge?
Your second point,I highlighted is so relevant.
People make the mistake of  quickly walking out on a troubled marriage only for the same things they ran away from to surface in their next marriage.
As long as there's no physical violence,any marriage still has a chance,that's my philosophy.
We are all humans and we all are subject to weaknesses.
I agree with you,they should do whatever is within their power to save their marriage.

God bless my brother eyes for seeing you.
thanks sistawoman and co.

Ilelobola:

Then he will understand why married people sometimes do or wish they could do something to hurt the other (and I don’t mean violence) especially when they feel hurt but it doesn’t mean they love that person any less than before. We are only human; hence why communication is paramount in marriage.

it is so amazing you try to try to make abnormal behaviours look normal. i dont like seeing my enemies hurt let alone people i love. why would you want to hurt someone you love?

Outstrip:

You know before she came and posted I already knew what the wife's story will be lke. Why will she like your older brother when he is moving in with a newly wed couple. No shame and still wants to complain about anything. I knew he was also lying when he said he had only sent 120 pounds to hs mom for a year. He basically told on himself when he posted. Any married woman that read what he wrote would have known right away what was going on. She says he cheated in the past and was even being verbally abusve when she was pregnant. My advice you guys should not reply to any more posts here and focus on repairing your marraige or leaving it. As for me sha I cannot forgive a man that will mistreat me when I am pregnant or bad mouth me to his relatives. If your husband was doing what he was supposed to do as a man his brother would not dare run his mouth. These kinds of things is what separates married men from married boys. If your blood pressure is high imagine how high your wife's was when you told her that you regret marrying her when she was carrying your child. You were very inconsiderate. I am very sure she is now bitter and even being spiteful now. A man who treats his wife with respect will also get respect back. You are not more important than her and she is not more important than you. If you do not see her as number one before your mother or siblings then you cannot even open your mouth to ask for respect.

every right comes with responsibilities.  the idea of seeking rights without responsibilities is harmfull in relationships. love does not seek its own.

i dont know who said insanity is doing same thing over and over yet expecting different results.  [size=18pt]marraige is hard work. it should be mostly about giving, sharing, tolerating and forgiving.  not a war zones of rules, rights and looking for opportunity to do greater damage.[/size]

as they say lets be roughly right than precisely wrong.  marraige is a beautiful institution meant to bring out our best not our worst.

Busy_body:


JJyou is a happily married man, next question

[size=18pt]It is not you that your husband's brother dislikes, so during the courtship, you could have gotten closer to his brother [size=16pt]^{you still can}[/size] and work with him. You both love the same person and want good for him. Your hubby would have seen this, and try to make amends with his brother too, and his affection for you would have grown stronger.[/size]

So what I will implore you to do is that, instead of compounding his woes and making his marital home intolerable for him, you need to scratch the surface to realise that underneath all of this, HE IS A VERY CARING AND DECENT PERSON. He would have turned his back on his mum too, if he wasn't a decent person. I am not excusing him, but you unknowingly pushed him away, because he could not handle the pressure at home, and still can't.  

You both want to connect with each other, so you need to take a break and go and find somewhere peaceful to talk. Plan the next stage in your life together, communicate, apologise to one another, learn to trust each other's judgement, open a joint bank account if you wish, think about the good in each other, think about what attracted you to each other, reminisce, plan outing for future dates, surprise each other, appreciate each other, talk and listen till you are both blue in the face, and try not to let any argument or disagreement spill over to the next day.

It is not going to be a walk in the park, because you are going to be opening a lot of old wounds, but what you both have is worth salvaging, because you still love each other, and I believe by the grace of God that it shall be well with both of you.

I understand what you are going through, but you have to grab life with both hands. I wish you all the best. Your husband chose you to be his lifelong companion, his solace, his comfort, he loved you, he still does, hence his cry for help. Give peace a chance.

thanks for coming to your brothers rescue. it is so good to know we have people like you here we can always relly on to pasionately tell the truth ALWAYS.

i know leaving and cleaving is a mantra people who dont understand the bible like to use. my lovely ma-in laws say if you do the rest of the things the bible says to do as in loving, prefering and caring for people, you wont be preaching the doctrine of I, ME, MYSELF. we will always need people. i think we were here on shapeys thread about the flogging inlaws.

may God help us keep happy and healthy homes.

bigguy75:

Best reply so far.

@Mozz,

Having your elder bro in your home, is  greatest flaw on your part!!  To worsen matters he follows you and your wife for marriage counselling and shopping? Awwwww, thats way too far!  Do you know what privacy is called?
He should be eternally grateful for your wife securing him a job after 6 yrs of unemployment and not being a home breaker complaining up and down looking for faults! This brother of yours attitudes despites that of an AGBAYA that has no shame!! If you dont know, hes a cunny, envious and a selfish person who you should cut off from, How can ones wife birth and the bro wouldnt call; no matter what might have happened in the past. You seem to be the quiet type and your bro has taken you for granted way too far!!! Cut him to size. Your Elder bro is married now enjoying his own marriage and fights with your wife over unnecessary issues and you also take sides with him,
Mozzilla, your kind of person shouldnt have been married in the first place as you find it difficult to put ur foot down on some certain issues, you place more importance on your siblings and mother rather than your wife,  Why did you get married in the first place? The 2 shall become one.
[b]You have really maltreated your wife and i can imagine whats she going thru,  She cant even advise you on any matter without you  making the comment You hate my family! If she hated your bro, will she help him? Will she offer her bed?
Having said this, Try to apologise to her,  Communicate more often and If you feel your leaving your wife and son in the uk and you running to Nigeria to hang with your siblings and mother is the best solution (I'm sorry for u oooo, FATE HAS A WAY OF CATCHING UP WITH MEN LIKE YOU!).
[/b]

sensible people here have said there are 2 sides to this issue. would you mind telling us how you cut off your family briliantly so we copy you quickly.

how did you get this

You have really maltreated your wife and i can imagine whats she going thru, She cant even advise you on any matter without you making the comment You hate my family! If she hated your bro, will she help him? Will she offer her bed?

may you never get someone like to mediate in your quarells. you are just amazing

Busy_body:


@ Omosegose

You have known each other for about 4 years now, according to you, your husband's brother was an unemployed loafer for six years before you got him a job, so obviously he was the one that told you about his brother. His mum also called you to tell you that her son (Elder Brother) has "issues" and that they don't really get along with each other.
What you should have done/What you need to do as a wife and a homemaker is to try and bridge the gap between the two brothers. Men are simple creatures who don't need a lot and don't hold grudges like women do.

It is not you that your husband's brother dislikes, so during the courtship, you could have gotten closer to his brother ^{you still can} and work with him. You both love the same person and want good for him. Your hubby would have seen this,
I understand what you are going through, but you have to grab life with both hands. I wish you all the best. Your husband chose you to be his lifelong companion, his solace, his comfort, he loved you, he still does, hence his cry for help. Give peace a chance.

Many thanks for this busy_body. I said when i met my husband, he told me about his elder bro. and mama told me husbands elder bro has been bad mouthing me up and down that she does herself doesnt often get along with her son (elder bro) because of his attitude. I hope that clarifys.


@ debosky, ilelobola, sweetmum, plappville, busy_body, sistawoman, bigguy, osisi
Thanks alot for your comments and advice. I sincerely appreciate

@osisi

I sent you an email. Looking forward to hearing from you. Thanks

Nairaland just became more interesting. Imagine, husband and wife on the same site explaining to a bunch of redundant strangers their family wahala. I think this is a first.
Na wa oh, Mozilla busted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
Anyaway, husband and wife, marriage is a serious issue, both of you need to open your minds andcommunicate more. Nothing we say here will hepl you except both of you make genuineefforts to understand strenghts weeknesses and work on them.
Oga, there is no excuse for cheating on you wife, and Madam, I come from a large family and if i have learnt anything it is that somehow somehow, you have to learn to tolerate people. You cant change someone, you saw his relationship with his family before you married him and Oga, you knew her reaction to your family before you guys got married, Talk please and talk does not mean hold your view and insist you are right, talk means express your feelings and let the other person express his or hers.
Something happened to me recently that made me realise i have oficially become a mature being, My Fiance did something to hurt me, previously, i would have come and post on nairaland and ask for advice, I almost did, but this time, i let the issue cool off for some days, so i would be calm and i talked to him about it, and he explained his reason for acting in that manner and we settled it amicably, this was something that would have destroyed ou relationship.
So Oga and madam, every relationship is work, This is as good as life is going to get, There will be always something or someone who will annoy you or hurt you, its how you react that makes all the difference.
Best wishes , and make your marriage work.

aisha2:

Nairaland just became more interesting. Imagine, husband and wife on the same site explaining to a bunch of redundant strangers their family wahala. I think this is a first.
Na wa oh, Mozilla busted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
Anyaway, husband and wife, marriage is a serious issue, both of you need to open your minds andcommunicate more. Nothing we say here will hepl you except both of you make genuineefforts to understand strenghts weeknesses and work on them.
Oga, there is no excuse for cheating on you wife, and Madam, I come from a large family and if i have learnt anything it is that somehow somehow, you have to learn to tolerate people. You cant change someone, you saw his relationship with his family before you married him and Oga, you knew her reaction to your family before you guys got married, Talk please and talk does not mean hold your view and insist you are right, talk means express your feelings and let the other person express his or hers.
Something happened to me recently that made me realise i have oficially become a mature being, My Fiance did something to hurt me, previously, i would have come and post on nairaland and ask for advice, I almost did, but this time, i let the issue cool off for some days, so i would be calm and i talked to him about it, and he explained his reason for acting in that manner and we settled it amicably, this was something that would have destroyed ou relationship.
So Oga and madam, every relationship is work, This is as good as life is going to get, There will be always something or someone who will annoy you or hurt you, its how you react that makes all the difference.
Best wishes , and make your marriage work.

you changed your diet recently? why are you so wise? thanks a million. wisdom is truly beautiful.

where is topup for goodness sake? sisi, karma and the usual squad just went AWOL.

Talk to her seriously about divorcing her i think she will get scared and behave herself.

Did you marry any of the below

An Oyinbo Woman
A Jamo Woman
or a born in UK never been to Naija ,

Its sounds like you are in one deep problem and sorry to say your wife has no respect unless you too have done something terrible.

The husband is the head of the house not the other way round.

kokorunna:

Did you marry any of the below

An Oyinbo Woman
A Jamo Woman
or a born in UK never been to Naija ,

Its sounds like you are in one deep problem and sorry to say your wife has no respect unless you too have done something terrible.

The husband is the head of the house not the other way round.

does being head includes sending your wifes money to your mum? rights to be head of the home should come with responsibility dont you think?

@JJYOU

I agree but it also sound like the wife is not pulling enough weight at home.

kokorunna:

@JJYOU

I agree but it also sound like the wife is not pulling enough weight at home. 

tks my brother. that is so obvious. you know you dare not say that on NL.  the guy wasnt telling all the lady came to tell all.  i smell some rat.

Which kain wahala be this

Lord I thank you for my home o, even when I am so so naughty and rude!! My husband just takes it all and turns all into jokes!! At the end I look like a f**l and trouble maker.

i want to sell some type Security
i have some type :
- us : visa, master, bin, full, discover ,
- uk : visa , master, amex , bin , full , dob , full,,
- eu : france , italia ,germany , spain , ,
who need conttact me by my yahoo : cvv_is_never_die
thanks for all

dellynash:

Talk to her seriously about divorcing her i think she will get scared and behave herself.

Dellynash u should go through the thread before posting coz what your saying dosen;t make sense

kokorunna:

Did you marry any of the below

An Oyinbo Woman
A Jamo Woman
or a born in UK never been to Naija ,

Its sounds like you are in one deep problem and sorry to say your wife has no respect unless you too have done something terrible.

The husband is the head of the house not the other way round.

kokorunna he,s married to a nigerian and you too should go through the thread from the beginning be posted your not making sense now.

@Mozorilla
Since your wife Omosegose came here and posted her side of the story {which i believe to be the truth} why have you not come back to defend your previous statements? I think u must have a guilty consious

Some people just write for writing sake. If he was married to an oyibo or jamaican will he be able to let his brother come and be an Achan in his house or will his white pregnant wife give up her bed for his mother. Some men are just cry babies. I cannot stand women cry babies and men cry babies to me should never have been born sef.

onyinye2:

You can take back your apology. Because it has the same meaning as when Cayon uses "Peace" to end every statement.

Back to more important things. . . . . David. David. David. I just love how you know all the happenings that occured in my life. Especially coming from a guy who has never met me. Knows not a damn thing about me. But still feels he knows what goes on in my life. That is so cute. Everybody let's join in and give a standing ovation for David's mystical powers as an online psychic.

For the sake of your intelligence, don't assume anything about my life. It is just tacky and meaningless because it is never true. And it just brings down your value.

Anyways back to the Poster's faulty story, yeah your advice is worth 5 Stars. Especially coming from a man who gets his daily adrenaline rush from pissing off Muslims. But will go around and tell others as a Christian they should leave their spouse. Oh yeah David you are really mature.

I shall bow down to Master David. For he is truly the Enlightened One.

I don't know what I missed, but this has just gotten interesting.

I kind of agree. . . There could be holes in this story. As well written as it is (for a nairaland post), there is something the author might be leaving out. No one changes like that without reason.

@OP

Do you remember doing anything, or was there some kind of change that occurred in you or your wife's life that may have started this change of behavior?

Mozilla,

If the story and all that you have explained is actually true, then you appear to me as someone that takes a lot of SHIT and

finds it hard to confront or control your wife. Yes you may love your wife and want the marriage to work. But you also need to

stand your feet down on certain circumstances. With some women you give them a yard and they take 10 yards you know.

Let her know her place. You do not have to fight with her or cause any trouble, all you need to do is to be very firm and make

her know that being accommadating and understanding does not make you a fool or less a man.

You also said that your wife likes to be in charge, will you like to be controlled by your wife? I for one will not like to control my

man lai lai God forbid. As long as you do not like it then you need to act fast and pray about it. Running away from the

marriage does not guarantee you that the next one will not treat you the same especially if the problem is with you (not

knowing how to handle dominiaring women). When next you get shouted at by your wife in front of her mum or whosoever

let her know that its a totally unacceptable behaviour and will not be tolerated. How will she feel if you did the same in front

of third parties? Anyway I will you all the best and pray that you can stand up to such nonsense behaviour.

Orimili:

I don't know what I missed, but this has just gotten interesting.

really

Jeebus.

Instead of posting your problems on here, focus on talking to people who are certified to help.

Please, you both, say no more on this issue on nairaland, Save your marriage!!!!

chikto did your husband give you permssion to use that computer. Why don't you go sit in a corner and knit something. Is she a dog that her husband has to control her. What makes her any different from him. It might be okay with you to be controlled but this man's wife obviously has chosen to use her brain and not let the man make all the decisions. God did not make a mistake when he chose to give her a brain. So keep your well trained self in the ktchen and don't come on nairaland where someone might spoil you. Jeez.

spikedcylinder:

Jeebus.

Instead of posting your problems on here, focus on talking to people who are certified to help.

Please, you both, say no more on this issue on nairaland,  Save your marriage!!!!

I know understand ooo mami,

Kai!!

NL Drama never ends sha!!

AMAKAONE:

Kai!!

NL Drama never ends sha!!

I tyre, but,, are you not learning anything at all? i do wonder why u guys believe everything pple do here is drama, hope you are not the one teaching life

You don't have any problem. Just ignore her for a while and get a maid. Start talking about a second wife even though you don't plan to. So basically give her room. Cook your own meal or eat outside and sleep on your own room. Sooner than later, she will change.

Madam, i dont mean to judge you but from your responses, i kind of understand what your husband is talking about. The first thing you did was to call him a liar, look if my husband was thinking of walking out and he posted it all on a site like this, my main concern would be to try to make this up with him and not to come and quarel with him on a public forum. I am all for women lib but as a woman, i would care more about saving my home than about what a bunch of people who i dont know will think about me.
I would advice you not to make this a battle but to look at the point he raised and see how i can work on improving my marriage, he seems fustrated because he feels you dont hear him, you turn issues into quarels, and that is what you proved, you came in and tore all his concerns into shreds and attacked him back, i am single but i dont think that would help your marriage. Every body needs to be with someone who can listen when they communicate, this is your home, not your mothers, his people or nairalanders, if it stands its to your credit, all these people will only console you but they wont feel the pain you feel.
My two cents, read critically your husbamds point and see how both of you can work on saving your marriage, please listen more and speak less.

aisha2:

Madam, i dont mean to judge you but from your responses, i kind of understand what your husband is talking about. The first thing you did was to call him a liar, look if my husband was thinking of walking out and he posted it all on a site like this, my main concern would be to try to make this up with him and not to come and quarel with him on a public forum. I am all for women lib but as a woman, i would care more about saving my home than about what a bunch of people who i dont know will think about me.
I would advice you not to make this a battle but to look at the point he raised and see how i can work on improving my marriage, he seems fustrated because he feels you dont hear him, you turn issues into quarels, and that is what you proved, you came in and tore all his concerns into shreds and attacked him back, i am single but i dont think that would help your marriage. Every body needs to be with someone who can listen when they communicate, this is your home, not your mothers, his people or nairalanders, if it stands its to your credit, all these people will only console you but they wont feel the pain you feel.
My two cents, read critically your husbamds point and see how both of you can work on saving your marriage, please listen more and speak less.

Thank you Aisha. I was hoping someone will notice this. I didn't want to respond because I believed it was silly exchanging accusations and playing to the gallery on Nairaland.

Just to put some points straight. I didn't tell lies in my original post. I didn't have to. And I didn't have to respond to my wife's comments either. I came for advice and got plenty of that. Thank you Busy_body, Sistawoman, osis, JJYUOU, Davidlan, Aisha, Chikito, and everyone who had contributed on this thread. This is an anonymous forum and that is the beauty of the place.
I never cheated on my wife. My wife just doesn't believe a married man should or can have single female friends and she had embarrassed a couple of my female friends. My brother didn't move in with us after our wedding and he was not 'always' following us on shopping and marriage counselling. I didn't send my wife’s' money to my mum. My wife embellished the truth.

Thank you all for all your comments, advises and admonishments.

Mozilla

do you know that once you get married all other female friends should be something that must be in the open? let say you have female friends not gf but just friends, it is your responsibility to intro them to your wife same with her, her male friends if she has any. when they call you, give your wife the phone to talk to them. what are they calling you for that they can't call your wife for? so she is right.

i don't like women who go abt calling other women's man. once you know this person is married, move! befriend the wife not the husband!

open marriage is important to prevent suspicion which is one of your problem. yes no any woman i say no any woman would want to share her man with another woman be it just friends or something. same with a guy too. you wouldn't want your woman to be cooking your meal and chatting with her male friend on the phone. please be honest with yourself. i don't blame her for embarrassing your female friend, you seems to have proudly said it. na wah!
i hope you have sorted it out. i hope for the interest of your kid you have both settle the problem. always remember your wife comes first. you both should sit down and make a decision how to help both family and when. no hide hide in marriage. things should be done in the open. there is nothing wrong if you say ' honey let's send money to mama' and wifey says oh ok or let's do it next pay check. it is a simple thing to do.

you running away for a problem is not a way to solve it. know your mistake and avoid it. i hope you and your woman are enjoying the marriage again since you both last posted. you are in our prayers.

run away from titi, ngozi or hauwa won't help you because you wont learn by running. deal with it.

In fact, I think two of you are daft. Don't go and sort out your marriage you hear? Stay here on nairaland and be making noise as if spikedcylinder or seun will help you sort out your deep rooted issues.

Awon alainironu!