how did this junk make front page? must we berate you here for being a fish brain?

OP. This ur problem is common in most homes in Nigeria. You are
not alone.

80percent of Nigeria Mothers are like ur mum. 70percent of
children actually fall for thier manupulations. That is why to many
people: Mothers are always angels while fathers are always beast.
Women are always d victim. that is how many mothers make thier
children to think.

Those saying is because she might not love ur dad are likely to be
wrong. Even when mothers love thier husband, they still want to
have most of d love and attention of d children over thier husband.
they still manipulate their children even if they love thier husband.

Most fathers are usually aware of d manipulations. they just
choose to ignore.

Note: Some fathers are like women or even worse. In my own case, my father was d one trying to make me hate my mum by all means. My mum didnt even care. When i was younger i was falling for his manipulations. As i grow older (early twenties) his manipulation was no longer working on me because Fathers are not so good in
manipulation because they try to do it rationally. so it doesnt work
well. because as i grow in rational, d more his manipulation seems to fail.

only about 20percent of children will fall for thier fathers
manipulation. But mothers use emotion to manipulate thier
children and it work on atleast 70percent of the children

OP, my advice for u is that, whenever ur mum come to you to complain, just listen even though u know it is manipulation. dont make any contribution. dont approve or disaprove. all u should give is listening ear.

Jman06:
Woe unto men!

This is exactly what happens in most Nigerian homes. Mothers always turning children against their dads. .
Op, I must commend you for being sensible enough to respond to your mum the way you did.
Please don't ever let your mum turn you against your dad. The repercussions are always disastrous!

Keep being wise, boy!

OP dis is my advice too. u are wise.

funny was in d same situation my mom ended up in turning everyone against ha instead of the oda way round

jayne8585yahoo:
OP I feel your predicament, I have to be frank with you

your mummy and daddy did not start today, your dad must have mistreatmented her while you guys were still young and so she wants to take her own pound of flesh.

women are resilience in nature, may be for her to stay married she was taking your fathers flaws then, now she thinks that it's her own time to shine.

As I speak to you now, some women are in that situation, they are waiting for their children to grow so as to start acting

OR

she never loved your dad as someone has said earlier

MIND YOU ALL THIS ARE GUESS WORK.


SOLUTIONS

Take your time, ask her if she wants to destroy her family,

Ask her to forgive your dad

Detail to how you feel about the issue.

I WISH GOOD LUCK,

DON'T JOIN HAND WITH YOUR DAD, SEEK PEACE.

AS YOU DO THAT I PRAY GOD TO BLESS YOU.

AMEN

You represent evil
How can you say that the dad mistreated her in the past?
You are full of shit and you are going to be a bad wife

marque:

Thanks so much for this. I never really thought of some of the things you said. Thank you.

very simple. U don't need to interfere in their affairs.they're husband and wife they've come a long way B4 having u,n such, must have been happening.they'll sort it out btw themsefs.all u just need to do is mummy pls take it easy daddy pls take it easy don't go furhter than that,bt deep inside u, u knw who's at fault.cos any attempt To say or do anything will mean u r in support of 1 party.

bro women.......sisters/mothers/girl friends/ mothers in-law/neighbor try as much as they can to manipulate men emotionally.
instead of logic they stair up emotions.
they remind u how they suffered during the pregnancy that begat u
they tell u how u were sick every day as a kid that she had 2 sleep in the hospital everyday
they remind u they breast fed u

you are a man
always think with ur head and not heart.
make it clear to her you are a man that makes his decisions independently and standby it.
show her love a son get for her mom but don't hesitate to let her know u r a man of your own and you will stand for what is just.
support her fully when she is right but when she is wrong be bold enough to tell her you are not on her side and why....
make her see the logic.......
love my mom to the core but she knows she cant remote control me......no one can, she can only suggest
stay close to dad too......you will learn a lot as a man

My boy, u think like a man already. Its not about taking sides but about seeing things from a very neutral position. When u do ,stand firm in your opinion regardless of who likes or dislikes it. Dont go about pushing your point of view vigorously as your parents especially your mum might find it offensive or disrespectful. Make your opinion known and try carefully to explain them. However do not ever allow yourself to be incited against your Dad. NEVER.
Love your mum and dad and show respect at all times

marque:

Thanks so much for this. I never really thought of some of the things you said. Thank you.

very simple. U don't need to interfere in their affairs.they're husband and wife they've come a long way B4 having u,n such, must have been happening.they'll sort it out btw themsefs.all u just need to do is mummy pls take it easy daddy pls take it easy don't go furhter than that,bt deep inside u, u knw who's at fault.cos any attempt To say or do anything will mean u r in support of 1 party.it has worked out like that.just pretend as if nting is hppening

@Op. Manipulated man, the predatory female. You can read the following books for better understanding.

atbu1983:
OP. This ur problem is common in most homes in Nigeria. You are
not alone.

80percent of Nigeria Mothers are like ur mum. 70percent of
children actually fall for thier manupulations. That is why to many
people: Mothers are always angels while fathers are always beast.
Women are always d victim. that is how many mothers make thier
children to think.

Those saying is because she might not love ur dad are likely to be
wrong. Even when mothers love thier husband, they still want to
have most of d love and attention of d children over thier husband.
they still manipulate their children even if they love thier husband.

Most fathers are usually aware of d manipulations. they just
choose to ignore.

Note: Some fathers are like women or even worse. In my own case, my father was d one trying to make me hate my mum by all means. My mum didnt even care. When i was younger i was falling for his manipulations. As i grow older (early twenties) his manipulation was no longer working on me because Fathers are not so good in
manipulation because they try to do it rationally. so it doesnt work
well. because as i grow in rational, d more his manipulation seems to fail.

only about 20percent of children will fall for thier fathers
manipulation. But mothers use emotion to manipulate thier
children and it work on atleast 70percent of the children

OP, my advice for u is that, whenever ur mum come to you to complain, just listen even though u know it is manipulation. dont make any contribution. dont approve or disaprove. all u should give is listening ear.

You didn't have to try so hard.

Justfollowit:


You didn't have to try so hard.

was just saying it plainly d way i experienced it and sees it.

atbu1983:


was just saying it d way i experience it and sees it

Well sorry to dissapoint you. Some mothers are very good at it and some fathers are the best at it.

Stop trying too hard to make fathers blameless.

Whatever the case.. good or bad.. nothing will make me take sides with my father against my mother.

No matter the situation, no matter the condition, I don't want to know who was right or wrong


All I know is only my mother is important to me. I will always support her in totality, irrespective of anything.. I could talk calmly in private n try correcting her if she was at fault but never in this world, not in the next world will I take sides with my father..


Anyway,op is a guy.Am glad his sister is in mother's favour....

Am sorry to tell u dis is either ur father cheated on ur mum in the past or he is still cheating and ur mum knw abt it that's why she is not been considerate on the amt of money ur dad has spent so far and she is not submissive to him again cos if she is she will not even tlk abt embarking on the visit wen ur dad is against her traveling the Love in that marraiage has gone sour ur mum is stil in that marraige for 3reasons 1) age is not on her side again. (2) for her children that's why she is trying all she could to turn u and ur siblings against ur dad (3) ur dad is financially buoyant women generally all over the world, by nature love comfort and money from men
My advise to u call ur paddy among ur siblings win her over to be neutral next time ur mum call u and ur sibling for any case aganist ur dad pls tell her WHAT GOD HAS JOiN TOGETHER LET NO MAN PUT ASUNDER and simply walk away trust me she will never call u again to turn u against ur DAD and ignore her like ur dad pls get closer to ur dad u r his only son. At list for now u knw .

marque:

I've tried my best to explain to her the best way I can. She's my mother and I can't be rude to her.

Guy,you better stop embarrassing your mother (even if we don't know her )...You should be thinking of how to be settled,make money n spoil ur mother with goodies.. Imagine ur mum is begging ur dad for money but he is forming he doesn't have cos he got other stuff to do.. stuff like what? it won't pass beers n girlfriends.....


Use ur head.. Mother is all..Good or bad,right or wrong. ur father can never be like ur mother to u.always support ur mother!

marque:
I don't understand what is going on in my house. Any little thing that happens between my mum and Dad she will call us (the children) and start telling us what happened but always putting the blame on my Father.

She has never explained anything and made it look like it was her fault. She is trying to paint a bad picture of our father in our eyes.

This has been going on right from when I was little but as I grew older I began to see things in a different light.

Anytime my mum brings up an issue concerning she and my Dad I try to look at things differently and see things in the other way before concluding. If I tell her what I feel and it's not in line with what she said,she'll get angry with me.

The latest was the one that happened recently. My mum was planning to go to her home town to see her family and so she needed some money from my dad to add to what she had already so she could buy some food stuff on her way. It is good to note that my mum had already travelled Last year during the Christmas celebration to see her people and my Dad gave her the money for everything she bought.

My mum works and gets paid too but she didn't use any of her money to buy those things last year. My Dad footed the bills. Now she wanted to travel again this year and My Dad refused to let her go because we just moved into our new house and there are some things which have to be bought and fixed in the house.

My Dad told her that if she wants to go it's her choice but he wouldn't give her any money as he has got some other pressing needs at the moment. My mum got angry about this and she told us.

I saw things from my father's point of view and tried to explain to her why it happened so but she got angry. She said I must always support him and that i'm not acting like "a son she gave birth to"

She has not talked to my Dad since then and anytime I greet her,she ignores me. I have two sisters,an elder and a younger one and i'm the only boy. My sister is at the ripe age of getting married but she is also supporting my mother in this,sadly.

My father doesn't seem to be bothered much though as he still goes about his normal activity but this problem is really troubling my mind and I really wish there could be an end to it.

Do mothers have to unnecessarily incite children against their fathers?

Is that why grown up children tend to cater for their mothers more and forgetting the struggle of their fathers even while they are still alive?

Matured advise please.

Hmmmmm mm!!!!!!!! God bless you brother and you are blessed.

The atrocities of women against men is usually overlooked in today's world. It's quite sad seeing fathers being neglected by their children. There are million of fathers out there struggling day in, day out, to put food on the table, clothes, hospital bills and pay their children school fees but only for their mothers to turn these children against their fathers.

It's pretty easy for mothers to do this cos women are naturally blessed with emotional manipulation which they usually employed in ensuring that their children are completely manipulated against their own fathers. It's pretty heart wrecking.

I have met load of girlfriends who hate their fathers base on what their mothers told them. I have begged most of them to go and do their own personal investigation. Interestingly, they always find out the atrocities of their mothers was what led to the break down of the marriage in the first place.

The first time my mum tried it with me, d moment I hear my dad name and about to start talking........ my head started spinning and hot.


It's painful and heart-trending to see women

marque:
I don't understand what is going on in my house. Any little thing that happens between my mum and Dad she will call us (the children) and start telling us what happened but always putting the blame on my Father.

She has never explained anything and made it look like it was her fault. She is trying to paint a bad picture of our father in our eyes.

This has been going on right from when I was little but as I grew older I began to see things in a different light.

Anytime my mum brings up an issue concerning she and my Dad I try to look at things differently and see things in the other way before concluding. If I tell her what I feel and it's not in line with what she said,she'll get angry with me.

The latest was the one that happened recently. My mum was planning to go to her home town to see her family and so she needed some money from my dad to add to what she had already so she could buy some food stuff on her way. It is good to note that my mum had already travelled Last year during the Christmas celebration to see her people and my Dad gave her the money for everything she bought.

My mum works and gets paid too but she didn't use any of her money to buy those things last year. My Dad footed the bills. Now she wanted to travel again this year and My Dad refused to let her go because we just moved into our new house and there are some things which have to be bought and fixed in the house.

My Dad told her that if she wants to go it's her choice but he wouldn't give her any money as he has got some other pressing needs at the moment. My mum got angry about this and she told us.

I saw things from my father's point of view and tried to explain to her why it happened so but she got angry. She said I must always support him and that i'm not acting like "a son she gave birth to"

She has not talked to my Dad since then and anytime I greet her,she ignores me. I have two sisters,an elder and a younger one and i'm the only boy. My sister is at the ripe age of getting married but she is also supporting my mother in this,sadly.

My father doesn't seem to be bothered much though as he still goes about his normal activity but this problem is really troubling my mind and I really wish there could be an end to it.

Do mothers have to unnecessarily incite children against their fathers?

Is that why grown up children tend to cater for their mothers more and forgetting the struggle of their fathers even while they are still alive?

Matured advise please.

i feel sorry for your dad.....your mom might poison him any moment.





I kniw a family like yours and the woman killed her hubby in the end

Whenever my mum reports my dad to me I simply tell her respectfully that she loved him enough to marry him for so long even before we the children came along so they can overcome their differences

pickabeau1:


The simple end is to tell her respectfully that you don't want to be dragged in between them
They are your parents and they should solve their marital problems themselves

When next she comes after this, tell her you have an engagement and leave the space

Marque, I endorse this, totally.

DrGroove:

Guy,you better stop embarrassing your mother (even if we don't know her )...You should be thinking of how to be settled,make money n spoil ur mother with goodies.. Imagine ur mum is begging ur dad for money but he is forming he doesn't have cos he got other stuff to do.. stuff like what? it won't pass beers n girlfriends.....


Use ur head.. Mother is all..Good or bad,right or wrong. ur father can never be like ur mother to u.always support ur mother!

Edited

DrGroove, you frighten me.

Arsenate:
I'm growing to realize that mothers are not as "innocent" as I earlier thought and fathers are not always monster as most will have us believe. actually, fathers are they real unsung heroes.

I've always known that one tey tey.. Infact my dad's 'heroism' is not even 'unsung'. While my mum ehn...hmm...lemme just reserve my comment.

Even my mum knows I love my dad more than i do to her...she has quit instigating me against my dad a long time ago..ee no fit work..

marque:

The way my mum bad mouths my dad in our presence just to make us have resentment for him is troubling. So I came here to share the problem and see if I can probably put an end to it.

I know its hard but try to mind your business. From your description, I take it that your parents are not kids in marriage (well over 15 years I imagine)

They know how they have managed themselves all this while and they have survived. Don't be tempted to put mouth inside married people matter even your parents. Don't take sides with any of them. Just pray for them and keep mum.

Next time your mum carry matter for you to judge, just say 'hmn, it is well. It is okay'

That way you are not taking sides and you don't have to apologise ontop their matter. Don't worry they will make up as they have always done. The relationship between husband and wife is sooooo complicated. Even this one when you dey ginger for your papa, do you know if they know something you don't know!

NB: it has worked for me now mumsie nor dey even judge for me again.

The best thing for you is to ignore her comments about your Dad, i can see she is not the type to correct or challenge. If you keep correcting her, she might hate you for that.

Keep been the wise man that you are and talk to your sister so she does not act same way in her own marriage.

pickabeau1:


The simple end is to tell her respectfully that you don't want to be dragged in between them
They are your parents and they should solve their marital problems themselves

When next she comes after this, tell her you have an engagement and leave the space

God bless you. That's my take on it as well

You shouldn't intervene in any issues regarding your parents. They were there before you and the made a decision to be with each other. The union is between them and them alone. I'm not saying you can't try to feel something but in the process of feeling something for one party, you begin to take sides and by the looks of things you're already supporting a party. What I'd advice you to do is to tell your mum point blank to settle whatever the issue is with your dad. You should never intervene cos you would most likely only cause more problems while trying to rectify it. Leave your parents to do what is expected of them, besides it would be an intrusion into their personal lives and I hope you know that despite having children, parents still have their own personal lives.

DrGroove:
Whatever the case.. good or bad.. nothing will make me take sides with my father against my mother.

No matter the situation, no matter the condition, I don't want to know who was right or wrong


All I know is only my mother is important to me. I will always support her in totality, irrespective of anything.. I could talk calmly in private n try correcting her if she was at fault but never in this world, not in the next world will I take sides with my father..


Anyway,op is a guy.Am glad his sister is in mother's favour....

I pity the man that will marry you if you are lucky at all.

End time children

Jayne8585yahoo[/quote]. women are resilience in nature, may be for her to stay married she was taking your fathers flaws then, now she thinks that it's her own time to shine.
[/quote] Hmmm....guess the mother never had flaws? Meet a person(judge) with this mindset in a family court! You'll get your arse rap.ed.

DrGroove:

Guy,you better stop embarrassing your mother (even if we don't know her )...You should be thinking of how to be settled,make money n spoil ur mother with goodies.. Imagine ur mum is begging ur dad for money but he is forming he doesn't have cos he got other stuff to do.. stuff like what? it won't pass beers n girlfriends.....


Use ur head.. Mother is all..Good or bad,right or wrong. ur father can never be like ur mother to u.always support ur mother!

Who da Bleep are you sef? The OP is nt the cause of ur fustrated lyf..i know your problem is menopause

Op, am worried about your sisters. Especially your elder sister.
Sad. Just sad.

Eseries:
bro women.......sisters/mothers/girl friends/ mothers in-law/neighbor try as much as they can to manipulate men emotionally.
instead of logic they stair up emotions.
they remind u how they suffered during the pregnancy that begat u
they tell u how u were sick every day as a kid that she had 2 sleep in the hospital everyday
they remind u they breast fed u

you are a man
always think with ur head and not heart.
make it clear to her you are a man that makes his decisions independently and standby it.
show her love a son get for her mom but don't hesitate to let her know u r a man of your own and you will stand for what is just.
support her fully when she is right but when she is wrong be bold enough to tell her you are not on her side and why....
make her see the logic.......
love my mom to the core but she knows she cant remote control me......no one can, she can only suggest
stay close to dad too......you will learn a lot as a man

A round of applause for this man!

Mother's are the same all over the world. Painting fathers blue, black, green no be today but of course we as children will always see the truth except we're pretending not to. You really don't have to blame your sisters cos in the end you'd be the only one to remain with your parents. Anyways, I wouldn't want to blame our mothers,I just hope the ladies of our generation will learn and desist accordingly. And please, never openly criticise your mum since you know she wouldn't budge. Cheers bro.