Received this message in my email on Thursday 28th
May, 2015. A nd according to the sender he needs advice
from every reader...

I am a working class part-time student in a polytechnic
situated in a remote area of one of the states in Nigeria
who earns nothing more than #20,000(twenty thousand
naira only) monthly.

I was lucky to find a very beautiful house whose owner
was a relative and was just concerned with having
someone who will be taking care of the house.

The house is very good to behold with big compound
filled with bushes. The landlord who happened to be a
relative of mine stays in the city and only comes home
occasionally.

He handed over the house to me and I kept leaving in a
four (4) bedroom flat.

Later on, the job of the house became quiet much for
only me to cope with and I decided to beg my relative
who is the landlord to allow me bring one more person
with me so that we can easily keep the house clean.
The job of the house includes cutting of grasses,
mopping of the big sitting room and also cooking in the
house.

The landlord after series of plea accepted that I should
bring just one more person with me that he doesn’t
want too much people especially students who will
scatter the house for him since he doesn’t need their
money.

I then purposed in my mind to find a lady who will be
able to help me in the house and not guy who could
easily turn something else overnight.
I even thought about the cost effect of living with a lady
than a guy which one of my friends concluded that I can
still cope at a minimal cost per month since the lady is
not my girlfriend.

Luckily for me I found a lady so beautiful, smart and
intelligent who is also from my tribe and brought her
into the house. She is also working, receiving almost the
same peanut like mine but couldn't get an apartment.
With first impression we kept moving on with each other
until this raining season..... http://bamisepeters..in/2015/05/he-is-confused-and-urgently-needs-your.html?m=1

... came and all the grasses in the
compound of the house began to grow.

Let me quickly narrate the story to you.

The summary is that I began the clearing of the
compound here on one Saturday and finished it on
Thursday of the following week!

That part of the works in this house was one of d
reasons I allowed her into this house. There is no much
food in the house today and that was one of the causes
of d disagreement.

Food shortage has always been our problem in the
house that two or at least one week to the time we will
collect our peanut salary food items will have finished
that I will always need to spend extra money before
we'll get money to contribute.

Like this month now, I dropped #7,000 for food. She did
the buying and I consider it a bad habit for her to come
back from the market and I begin to scrutinize all she
bought.

So I usually leave her with everything. Soup finished last
week. I had to drop additional #500 for another soup on
Monday when we couldn't bear it again. Rice totally
finished today. I also finished the clearing of bush in the
compound today.

I worked so much yesterday and all I ate was small rice
and D spagg that she cooked with it. In fact that rice
was cooked the night before.

Now after I ate that rice yesterday by 3pm, I was so
tired. Around 6:30pm my neighbour went out that I even
asked her b4 she told me she was going out probably to
look for network.

She didn't return until like 8:30 to 9pm and I was so tired
because of the work i did, that I found it difficult to walk
down to the kitchen to cook.

I den decided to drink gari. This morning again I worked
so much to ensure that I finished the work of d Bush
clearing.

And there was also a program we must compulsorily
attend today. I finished the cutting around 8:15am.

And it's a usual thing that she goes out without eating,
she mostly eat when she comes back from that
particular program.

But with the hard labour I did coupled with the fact that
I didn't eat much yesterday despite the job, I couldn't do
that with her. And I just quickly went to the kitchen and
picked the last quantity of rice to cook for us to
manage.

She also came out and was asking me she wanted to
collect one application like that from my phone....

... Later she said she didn't know how to do the sending
stuff on the phone that I should leave the cooking I
wanted to do and come send the app to her phone
which I sharply replied her that I am busy!

She immediately asked for what I wanted to do and I
said I want to cook rice. She was against that! Now
before I proceed. I told her yesterday that I'm going to
pay someone a visit the next day and I may spend the
weekend there.

And the rice that just finished today was the rice I
bought for #2150 when one of my younger brothers and
his friend were planning to visit me sometimes ago.
I continue:

She said don't cook the rice let's cook indomie. Me that
doesn’t like indomie much coupled with yester night’s
hunger plus this morning's hard labour. I insisted I will
cook rice.

I would've even grudgingly managed the indomie had it
been that she'd cooked it b4 I finish the Bush cutting.
She didn't. So I just washed the rice then poured it into
the pot on fire. She was angry that I shunned her on the
request to send an application at the detriment of my
own health/stomach.

That was only my perception. She just came to me in
the kitchen few minutes later and angrily said " U are
cooking that rice being the last because u know u will not be
at home tomorrow so that only me will face the hunger, well,
u know what that is called, selfishness "

I laughed within myself. And I was still planning out of
my foolishness of over caring attitude to buy small rice
for the house from my pocket before going to where i
told her i will be going to so that she will have
something to eat before i return and before we will get
our pay.

When she said what she said, I was tired and hungry
and also felt like it's not every statement of ladies one
should respond to especially when they are angry.
So I kept moot!

Please, among the two of us who is selfish?
She was reserving the last food for herself and starving
me, and not even making the efforts to cover it up by
quickly cooking the indomie before I finished the hard
labour of cutting grasses.

So I ate the rice and when I was ready for the place we
were going to I called her and she said I should go that
she was not ready for the program which she would’ve,
on a normal day she will ask me to wait for her, so I
went.

While coming from the place I bought another small
quantity of rice hoping her statement of me being
selfish was just a slip of tongue, She got home before
me and I met beans on the fire. She wasn't there when I
dropped the rice in the kitchen. The beans got burnt and
it was the odour that made me went to the kitchen....

... I went into my bathroom to wash the little dirty clothes I
had. All of a sudden, I heard a knock on my door and
when I answered I heard her just saying I'm going out!

I just thought she was going to a place nearby. It's
10:00pm she hasn't come back. And that shows me that
her statement wasn’t slip of tongue.

Even the beans she burnt before going out, I can't find
it. It's only the pot I sew.

If I am still selfish, with all that I spend here (where
some of my course mates spend #4000 per month)
mainly because of her i spend more than half of what i
earn.

And despite all, to her I’ve done nothing. Not even
respect from a person that I’m almost five years older
than and not even level mates.

I called her and she said she told me till Sunday!

And it grieved me the more because if anything happens
to her will I say she said she was going out?

Is only "am going out" sufficient for a neighbour one
assisted to living in the same fancy house with who will
spend nothing less than three days outside? Or will a
normal person be travelling from today till Sunday and
all the person will tell people at home is "am going out?"
I greatly regret accepting her to my home here and it's a
great lesson for me.

She will invite her friends and relatives here and I will
buy drinks for them.

I've spent too much here just because of her.
She has really fumbled as far as I’m concerned.
She disappointed mi big way.

If she claimed she told me, I don’t know where she has
gone to that she will spend about four days.

the house here is a kind of house that none of her
visitors has entered without loudly commenting!
In fact two of her friends that called themselves big
babes that came last week told her that they thought
she used to snap her pictures in another person’s house
that they never believed that’s where she's leaving. That
she's so lucky.

It pains me so deeply but I'll swallow it. But I think even
if I don't use it to act, I need to let her know she hurts
me.

She didn't only even say I was selfish. She said I also
insisted on cooking d rice because i bought it.

And even the gas we are using now, I still use my
personal money to fill it Plus tfare.

please what do you think I can do or what have I done
wrong?


http://bamisepeters..in/2015/05/he-is-confused-and-urgently-needs-your.html?m=1

Op I'm afraid u're d one confusing urself....

Stop spending so much. Drop a particular amount for food and that's it. If you both used to drop 5k for food, drop 4,500 and use the remaining 500 naira to buy garri for times when they will be no food.
If you don't want her around anymore, tell her to leave and look for someone else.
Do not spend and grumble, I'd rather you'd not spend at all than wish someone would appreciate you for every extra N1, that attitude irks me because when you go an extra mile for someone (selflessness), do not taint it by seeking forr gratitude.

Your writing reminds me of the way we as children spoke then 'and she come and say I should go and ...'

The lady has turned u to houseboy!

Which kain Tory be dis What exactly is your point?

Super story....


Meanyl, this is what you get when you become a lazy a$s.. mtcheeeww

Bad business to have taken a girl in., so much for getting a reliever for the lawns. The only way you two will be fine is if you each mind your business of feeding and keeping the body together. Me and the two other fantastic babes share a flat cook separately and share whatever on agreement. Let there be a boundary, that way nobody gets carried away.


So pray she's angry enough to separate things...your redemption.

What sort of story telling is this? Rambling all over the place.
OP the major work in that house is cutting grasses-cooking and mopping floors is nothing - and yet you went for a female co-tenant? Are you sure your intentions were pure from the start?
Anyway there's no much problem here,if her manner of acting is not suitable for you simply tell her to leave. Your comfort and happiness comes first

unless you are dating her, do the following;
1. sit down with her, make a list of the things u want for the month
2. make contribution ie 50% each
3. Buy food items in bulk (you can go for half bag of rice)
4. while you cut the grass, she should do the cooking and other house chores.
5. Help her with the house chores the days u are not cutting the grass
6. Don't forget that communication is key to peaceful living

lastly, if the both of u cannot stay together, its better u part ways.

.

both of you must contribute on the financial aspects of the home, else let her find another place to stay.

Godownchild:
@ op why are you the only one contributing to buy food stuffs for the house, why is she not spending her own money as well...

There's something your not telling us

seconded!

Op, most of the posters above are singles like you and thus has little or no experience on what it takes to live with a lady whether she's your girl friend, your wife or no relationship. That lady is just been a normal lady and I have not seeing anything she has done wrong, as a matter of fact she's manner comparing her to some other ladies. The way she expressed herself was courteous enough, and mind you you are not expecting her not to be able to express herself and nothing should have stopped you from telling her your intention that you are planning to buy some rice before you leave, that would have created a more friendly atmosphere. To buttress her good manner, she even told you she was going out, some other ladies will never have told you. For those telling you that giving too much for living with that lady, under normal circumstances, a lady will depend more on your generosity when you live with them, grow up and be a man please.

You need a helper in order to keep d compound clean and u accepted a lady?
1. Maybe, your intention is to date her which she may have rejected
2. Y will u be spending extra amounts when there is shortage of food? Are u Chief Marcel Nlemigbo.(MARCON)?
3. You even buy drinks 4 her friends/relatives? Holy Esau!
4. She lives there without paying rent? My geography!
5. You are older with up to 5 years? Africa!
I'm even tired of asking questions. You know what to do but if u don't know, its time for CHANGE. She is good to leave. No mercy,no waste time or you suffer epilepsy.

You start collecting rent from her or she moves out. Its as simple as that