texanomaly:

Thanks Tex

softysparky:
You have to let go and I'm sure she would like you to do same.

I know she would just that I can't imagine talk less of living without her. So she's in my head every minute of the day, whether asleep or awake. I don't know how to let go and I really don't want to let go. As far as I'm concerned not even death can keep us apart.

Mehn loneliness is as real as life itself...mehn #ShitJustGotReal

This why I need to get over my shyness

shanira:
Tell yourself these words "I'll be happy. Even if it hurts to try". Watch loads of comedies. Read fun, interesting books. Throw your energies in doing stuff that you love. Hang out with friends, relatives whose company simply enliven the atmosphere of your heart. Pray often. Have conversations with God about your emotions and hurts. Prayer is a wonderful anti-depressant.

And as for finding the one. Unrequited love can escalate feelings of loneliness. Are you deeply in love with anyone at the moment?

Or you're not but searching for that ultimate love? When it comes to matters of the heart, patience is everything. You can't settle for just anyone just because you're lonely or you'll end up in the wrong hands. Just focus on your passions, hobbies that bring you laughter and be on the look out for that eye contact that will change your life forever. Who knows? The one for you may well love you madly from a distance but you are yet to acknowledge her and she may well be too shy to approach you. Or maybe the time just isn't right yet for your missing rib to join with you. There are dozens of ladies out there that can warm your bed but only one that is made for you can warm your heart and love you as you are. And it is possible! You can come together. I'm sure she's somewhere waiting for you, wondering and praying that God should keep her man for her ; "You".


Be happy. Read. Socialize! Follow your passion. True love will unite with you when the time is divine!

My dear, you've opined well.

K.

So am not alone. That is nice to know, almost reassuring even...

The problem isn't really with the Success but this impossibly high standards some of us set on the opposite sex we 'choose'

haul:


One of my own problem is I believe I don't need lady,sincerely I gave surrogacy an option,I told myself 2020 is the goal if I intend settling down, my parent will be like ahhhh! You've kill me! Try get someone pregnant if possible,I just don't believe anything from women world,believe me I've never had a gf once like this! It amaze my friend cuz we go parties when less busy rock booties on dance floor,but when it a thing of heart mehn I step back.

the highest I go with women is friend and once I notice say the girl don dey emotionally attached I backoff,I belive women equals wahala,I woo girls atimes for fun to prove to my I'm straight.

I believe what is a lady bringing to my life except babies,if its money hardwork brings that,inshort I love my freedom,I know I'm wierd.

I understand.

Desanta:


I know she would just that I can't imagine talk less of living without her. So she's in my head every minute of the day, whether asleep or awake. I don't know how to let go and I really don't want to let go. As far as I'm concerned not even death can keep us apart.

It's hard when you don't even want to let go. I won't say I understand because I have never been there, I only wish there's a way I can help. Please try harder, you must have to live for something.

May her beautiful soul rest in peace.

softysparky:
I suspect this moniker, he sounds so much like my best friend.

See you how are you?

haul:


One of my own problem is I believe I don't need lady,sincerely I gave surrogacy an option,I told myself 2020 is the goal if I intend settling down, my parent will be like ahhhh! You've kill me! Try get someone pregnant if possible,I just don't believe anything from women world,believe me I've never had a gf once like this! It amaze my friend cuz we go parties when less busy rock booties on dance floor,but when it a thing of heart mehn I step back.

the highest I go with women is friend and once I notice say the girl don dey emotionally attached I backoff,I belive women equals wahala,I woo girls atimes for fun to prove to my I'm straight.

I believe what is a lady bringing to my life except babies,if its money hardwork brings that,inshort I love my freedom,I know I'm wierd.

You are not alone.

They do say "money can't buy love" but the reality is not everybody has the charisma and playa instinct to get whatever they want. What profits a man to have all the riches in the world and yet have no one to love in his life?! That's the real definition of "Vanity". Some will really need money to get love...whether U̶̲̥̅̊ use your mouth, charisma or money to get love no wahala. Just get it if U̶̲̥̅̊ can; no feeling can be compared with knowing someone cares and loves U̶̲̥̅̊!

texanomaly:


We have a very lively whatsapp group. I'm chatting in the group right now actually. Come and join us. I'll introduce you.

Call this number to be included:
08039594156

I have called the number and sent text messages. Been waiting to hear from y'all on whatsapp or something.

anonymousey:


I have called the number and sent text messages. Been waiting to hear from y'all on whatsapp or something.

I'll tell Dammy to get on it immediately.

@op I know what your problem is but I won't say it because I'll sound stupid to you and some people

"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." - Oscar Wilde

Ishilove:
@Oraculus,

Eyah, how touching.

First things first, upload a profile picture.

Register with dating sites. There's no guarantee you will find your choice there, but you will have the experience of sifting through varied choices which in turn will boost your confidence.

Just be yourself, man. There's someone for everyone. I know this. Even if you're a geeky, anti-social person, there's a geeky anti-social woman somewhere going through what you're experiencing. You just need to be connected.

You can create a thread in the Dating and Meetup section, drop your contact details and let the searching sisters connect with you.

You're a good writer, BTW. I was captured by this line

"when the loneliness takes a humanoid form and glares at me over my shoulders"

It's so poetic and the imagery, startling... at least for me. Absolutely lovely.

Oraculus
You just found her. "The One".

Ishilove- She loves ur poetry!

funshint:
They do say "money can't buy love" but the reality is not everybody has the charisma and playa instinct to get whatever they want. What profits a man to have all the riches in the world and yet have no one to love in his life?! That's the real definition of "Vanity". Some will really need money to get love...whether U̶̲̥̅̊ use your mouth, charisma or money to get love no wahala. Just get it if U̶̲̥̅̊ can; no feeling can be compared with knowing someone cares and loves U̶̲̥̅̊!

hmmm....

Osyxcel:

See you how are you?

Osy I dey as you leave your babe ooo.

Attractive people are the loneliest, because everyone thinks they have someone.
I know how you feel, just focus on being the right person. Don't feel sorry for yourself, don't use online dating it's shit, don't let yourself be used. Be the right person, be more social and you'll see her. #peace.

Desanta:
op I feel you. But I think your situation is even better than mine. My wife died several years ago and all I want is my late wife and nothing else. I 've seen a psychologist, a psychiatrist and even my priest without any improvement. Even with all the friends and relatives around me, I'm terribly lonely. I have had to decline some consultancy jobs, just because money means nothing when the only person you wish to spend it on, is gone. I have contributed to several foundations, orphanage homes, and helped a few strangers, but it hasn't changed the feeling. I have met several interesting people who would have been in to be with, but I already have a scale(my wife), for measuring; and as expected they never make a perfect replacement.

You will meet that person just don't put her on a scale. Let your heart lead you and have fun while at it. Search for a soul mate and not a perfect wife, which doesn't even exist.

I'm so sorry for your loss
You'll find someone --not a replacement, just another partner.

UjSizzle:

I'm so sorry for your loss
You'll find someone --not a replacement, just another partner.

I agree

Desanta:
op I feel you. But I think your situation is even better than mine. My wife died several years ago and all I want is my late wife and nothing else. I 've seen a psychologist, a psychiatrist and even my priest without any improvement. Even with all the friends and relatives around me, I'm terribly lonely. I have had to decline some consultancy jobs, just because money means nothing when the only person you wish to spend it on, is gone. I have contributed to several foundations, orphanage homes, and helped a few strangers, but it hasn't changed the feeling. I have met several interesting people who would have been in to be with, but I already have a scale(my wife), for measuring; and as expected they never make a perfect replacement.

You will meet that person just don't put her on a scale. Let your heart lead you and have fun while at it. Search for a soul mate and not a perfect wife, which doesn't even exist.

Eyah. Sorry about this

Na wa o, and i used to think men have it easier than ladies. I am obviously very wrong

lastchild:
@op I know what your problem is but I won't say it because I'll sound stupid to you and some people

softysparky:
It's hard when you don't even want to let go. I won't say I understand because I have never been there, I only wish there's a way I can help. Please try harder, you must have to live for something.

May her beautiful soul rest in peace.

Thanks.
Showing concern is a lot of help already.
Just before she died, I prayed that God should allow me take her place and spare her life. She smiled and asked me "what kind of life do you expect me to live without you'. Now I ask myself that same question. Am now cold and indifferent to life despite the smile I wear like a mask. l have lost my peace and I try to bury my sorrow in my work. But the pain still shows through the window in my eyes. Death is a better substitute to this pain that I can't even explain or describe. Love can cause so much pain even as it can give joy.
It is well as I try to surrender my feelings and my wife to Jehovah, the All knowing creator.

UjSizzle:

I'm so sorry for your loss
You'll find someone --not a replacement, just another partner.

Thanks.
She was perfect for me. My own personal angel. And I was her saint. The one thing I was ready to lay down my life for. Maybe the gods got jealous and decided to punish me.
It is well.

Desanta:


Thanks.
She was perfect for me. My own personal angel. And I was her saint. The one thing I was ready to lay down my life for. Maybe the gods got jealous and decided to punish me.
It is well.

You will find another love and she will be perfect for you too.
And no one expects you to erase memories of your first, she'll special and always be. But open up to someone else. Pray to God to heal your wounds and when he's ready to, please allow the instrument of his choosing to administer the balm to your wounded heart.
Some people know love just once in a lifetime, some never find it (tragic I know). But there are the lucky few who are blessed to have it twice in one lifetime-- you'll be one of them. Honour your wife's memory and remember she'd want you to be happy too. If nothing, let yourself live again for her.

I read this a long time ago, "Love happens more than once, but never the same way."
Keep that in mind

mordtonia:
Attractive people are the loneliest, because everyone thinks they have someone.
I know how you feel, just focus on being the right person. Don't feel sorry for yourself, don't use online dating it's shit, don't let yourself be used. Be the right person, be more social and you'll see her. #peace.

Your first line is apt

Story of another self obsessed little man. How can you say you're successful, got all you want, yet you're lonely and can't find love? Haba! For this Naija where almost all what the girls need to see is the slightest hint of comfort and they label you as a potential Mr. Right?

Besides who do you think youre kidding? Successful people have always been known to have the ability to cherry picking the best of the bunch, and leave out the rotters for other average joes to drool and oggle over them.

So how can a successful man now see the kind of woman he actually fancies, cute, sweet, brainy and young and still not be able to impress or seduce her with either his wealth or charisma?

And don't tell us you had to hussle because the basic instinct in every man after survival is sex aka love and your subconscious is always in pursuit of this regardless of how you think you feel about this.

Either tell the truth the way it is or admit you like to wallow in self pity. This may also be a windup to get people talking about a selfing indulging man who thinks the world should revolve around him.

Desanta:
op I feel you. But I think your situation is even better than mine. My wife died several years ago and all I want is my late wife and nothing else. I 've seen a psychologist, a psychiatrist and even my priest without any improvement. Even with all the friends and relatives around me, I'm terribly lonely. I have had to decline some consultancy jobs, just because money means nothing when the only person you wish to spend it on, is gone. I have contributed to several foundations, orphanage homes, and helped a few strangers, but it hasn't changed the feeling. I have met several interesting people who would have been in to be with, but I already have a scale(my wife), for measuring; and as expected they never make a perfect replacement.

You will meet that person just don't put her on a scale. Let your heart lead you and have fun while at it. Search for a soul mate and not a perfect wife, which doesn't even exist.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you find someone.

UjSizzle:

You will find another love and she will be perfect for you too.
And no one expects you to erase memories of your first, she'll special and always be. But open up to someone else. Pray to God to heal your wounds and when he's ready to, please allow the instrument of his choosing to administer the balm to your wounded heart.
Some people know love just once in a lifetime, some never find it (tragic I know). But there are the lucky few who are blessed to have it twice in one lifetime-- you'll be one of them. Honour your wife's memory and remember she'd want you to be happy too. If nothing, let yourself live again for her.

I read this a long time ago, "Love happens more than once, but never the same way."
Keep that in mind

Can you or ishilove show the guy serubawons post about being a widower...on my phone so doing it is wahala....