Please bear with me it is bit long. But please read carefully.

NOTE: this thread was created more than two months ago because at that time I needed advice to help redirect and better my relationship. Advices and suggestions were carefully accessed and adopted where necessary. But... You might not believe what happened two weeks later until now. If you're new I suggest you read the old post before the new post.

OLD POST:
Like seriously am considering proposing to her. She got most of the qualities and potential to make a good wife. In fact, I imagine our future together as husband and wife. Beautiful children and a beautiful home looking into the sea. Both of us together might be just a fantasy because she is suffering from a serious sexual complication called frigidity.

Frigidity according to my research: Is an aberrant sexual condition in both male and female. It is the lack of sexual excitement in the sexual orgasms of the male (penis) and of the female (virginal).

Please what should I do? Am confused. I love her but how do I approach this situation with her. She is so disinterested in anything that has to do with sex. Please your advice is needed here. Though, I have thought of the following but there is still 'but'.
- visited a counselor - but will she agree with me without having ill feelings about my thoughts.
- suggest more sexual activities like: Kissing, MouthAction etc - but will she not think me a sex addict and despise me.
- suggest we stay as friends (no sex) - but will she not think it is the end of the relationship.
- suggest I lay low untill she feels comfortable with sex - but will she ever be comfortable.

Please what should I do? Please note that your advice will be highly appreciated, thanks.


NEW POST:
Well I took the advice from majority's suggestion: Which was to sit with her and explain my feelings concerning this issue with her as to clear any misunderstanding about my purpose of suggesting a counselling for us. I did just that.

But to my shock... She was pregnant and had attempted abortion before I learnt of it. As a matter of fact, she was already few weeks pregnant (probably two or three) before we met. She admitted this after two months of our relationship meaning the pregnancy was almost three months old before my knowledge of it. She cried and explain how it happened and as well ask me for help abort the pregnancy (something I've never done for myself). I was so shocked that I thought she is just pulling my legs and it just a joke. But when we went out a day later at a fast food and she repeated it again, I felt cold shiver running down my spine. I was like what have I gotten myself into (a frigid?). She explained how she'll be disowned by her parents and pleaded for my assistance. Being overwhelmed and confused (I almost wanted to run to nairaland for help but changed my mind) coupled with the fact that I love her and won't abandon her when she needs me most, I decided to do something I vowed never to do in my life (abortion). I stood by her and footed the bills taking full responsibility and risk (now it seems very foolish of me) to see her through the challenge.

Even till the eleventh hour, I still hoped this was just so kind of test from her. But deeper inside I knew it was just a false hope. Well everything went successfully and I felt relieved. Considering the ordeal she just went through I decide to be mute about our relationship issue to allow her recover properly.

After a month plus, after the situation she was so obedient and more caring than myself. She calls me like everyday and demands she wants to see. Like to a point of obsession, she must see me everyday. My valuation of her worth had diminish gradually and now she is obsessed with me. Although, I still love her but I had my reservations, especially because she still acts like before always disinterested with anything that has to do with sex (see me see wahala was my thought).

Like seriously, she gets pregnant and yet she hates sex? Alright, lets visit a counsellor. She explain that she is fine and will have it when she feels like. A mistake of unintentionally touching her boobs when playing leads to a serious warning. Na wa ooo even my sister will understand it was a mistake because I can never take advantage of any woman let alone someone I loved.

As shocking as this may sound, she still calls like everyday demanding to see me (I be your father ). Honestly, I felt being use and at the same time being loved. Yet am confused because as annoying as this may appear... She has Bleep rated video (blue film) on her phone. Something, I just refused to question her about (maybe fear or something).

I just had to stop... Because I can go on and on and yet I can't make a concrete decision because am just so confused. Please I need your advice as this is tearing me down. Please your advice on what next to do will be appreciate.

Ps: Please try and be fair on this especially because she is not here to defend herself... Even criticism on my own part will be welcomed.

cc: Lalasticlala, Ishilove

Mehn, dnt get married to her.. U dnt want to regret later

Cutehector:
Mehn, dnt get married to her.. U dnt want to regret later

Thanks for your advice.

Will she never recover and get married? I want to help her and us. Do you really suggest I leave her? Is that people suffering from it don't stay married?

Please throw more light.

Let's swap babes?.

MEGGATRON:
[color=#990000][/color]

Please can you help with more on that. Thanks.

Tallesty1:
Let's swap babes?.

Very funny . but why?

Abelsconcept:


Thanks for your advice.

Will she never recover and get married? I want to help her and us. Do you really suggest I leave her? Is that people suffering from it don't stay married?

Please throw more light.

u may go wit her and see a doctor tho.. Cuz sex is a very vital thing in marriage which u knw. If she isn't willing or showin any signs of like for sex, den leav her.

Her bad experiences when she was a teen could be the cause. I'd recommend professional counseling to address previous trauma.
Rape, assault, or just being highly pressured to have sex against her desire,all have lasting effects on how she view sex as well as her response to it.

If that's not the issue, she should see a doctor to check other possible female problems that could effect her desire and sensation. Best of luck to you!

Enegod:
Her bad experiences when she was a teen could be the cause. I'd recommend professional counseling to address previous trauma.
Rape, assault, or just being highly pressured to have sex against her desire,all have lasting effects on how she view sex as well as her response to it.

If that's not the issue, she should see a doctor to check other possible female problems that could effect her desire and sensation. Best of luck to you!

Thanks for your advice.

What if she refuses to accept she has a problem?

Ok. You say Your girlfriend is suffering from frigidity, why not put her in the fridge?

INTERMAN:
Ok. You say Your girlfriend is suffering from frigidity, why not put her in the fridge?

Frigid not fridge.... Very funny and wicked[color=][/color]

Abelsconcept:


Thanks for your advice.

What if she refuses to accept she has a problem?

if she refuses, threaten to dump her... she'll open up!

help her pls. talk to her about it. let her understand your stance first before you proceed to see a doc or a counsellor

Enegod:
if she refuses, threaten to dump her... she'll open up!

Gratitude man.

Mprex:
help her pls. talk to her about it. let her understand your stance first before you proceed to see a doc or a counsellor

I kind of like your idea but can throw more light on "understand your stance first" I didn't get you there.

Bros, you have two options. Get her to see a qualified doctor fast and check if she can be cured; or take her to a good pastor and see if God can heal her. If all of these fails, it's time to forget about marrying her, no or lack of sex in a marriage is no joke.

My advice for you Is to go for a therapy but if it does not work out I will advice you to leave her oo unless u are ready to play away match because marriage without sex could be boring.

Most of dis tin iz cuz by type of circumcision practice on her nd i gez ix type3 or type4 sha



see ur doctor ): Most of dis tin iz cuz by type of circumcision practice on her nd i gez ix type3 or type4 sha



see ur doctor ): Most of dis tin iz cuz by type of circumcision practice on her nd i gez ix type3 or type4 sha



see ur doctor ):

KAPOVee:
marry her... U're in love with her remember? There's Nothing compared to marrying the one you love!

In as much as love is important in a marriage, I equally think happiness is essential for long-term marriage.

u guys should seek professional help.
and if with her condition, she resists the idea of seeking help.

My guy, just RUN!!!!!
If as a matured woman, she cannot appreciate what u are doing just to make sure she gets better?
She doesnt deserve you.

♡ They say love is blind,but marriage is a true eye-opener♡

sinizia:
Bros, you have two options. Get her to see a qualified doctor fast and check if she can be cured; or take her to a good pastor and see if God can heal her. If all of these fails, it's time to forget about marrying her, no or lack of sex in a marriage is no joke.

kushma:
My advice for you Is to go for a therapy but if it does not work out I will advice you to leave her oo unless u are ready to play away match because marriage without sex could be boring.

yemimylover:
Most of dis tin iz cuz by type of circumcision practice on her nd i gez ix type3 or type4 sha
see ur doctor ): Most of dis tin iz cuz by type of circumcision practice on her nd i gez ix type3 or type4 sha
see ur doctor ): Most of dis tin iz cuz by type of circumcision practice on her nd i gez ix type3 or type4 sha
see ur doctor ):

Thanks for the advices.

Recall I said I've a but with the idea of seeing a doctor. Reason being that she might not agree to it, stating she is normal and where does that place me. I really think it has to be done with care. However, thanks. I'll give it thought.

Abelsconcept:


I kind of like your idea but can throw more light on "understand your stance first" I didn't get you there.

like make her understand that what you are doing is for the both of you, that its not all about satisfying your sexual desires and that you still love her all the same.

Mprex:

like make her understand that what you are doing is for the both of you, that its not all about satisfying your sexual desires and that you still love her all the same.

Clearly understood. Thanks dear.

Cutehector:
Mehn, dnt get married to her.. U dnt want to regret later

he shudnt get married to her??I guess u never read de part where he sed he loves her so much nd if he claims he loves her so much then he shud help her out of the situation....after all,datz what we call "love"

Abelsconcept:






Thanks for the advices.

Recall I said I've a but with the idea of seeing a doctor. Reason being that she might not agree to it, stating she is normal and where does that place me. I really think it has to be done with care. However, thanks. I'll give it thought.

Marrying this Lady would be your greatest mistake in life. If you can cope with no sex in marriage then go ahead and marry her if not forget love and break up with her.

oyin17:





Marrying this Lady would be your greatest mistake in life. If you can cope with no sex in marriage then go ahead and marry her if not forget love and break up with her.

Not as easy as u think girl

dumping her is not a problem but finding a replacement.Remember he mention he love ha so much which means his willing to help ha

My advice for him is to try c a doctor n figure ha reason for such act n a solution.

Senjo:
Not as easy as u think girl

dumping her is not a problem but finding a replacement.Remember he mention he love ha so much which means his willing to help ha

My advice for him is to try c a doctor n figure ha reason for such act n a solution.

My broda, I don't give advice much on this forum, if he's OK with her he can go ahead but he will regret it. marriage is not boyfriend and girlfriend relationship

IamLEGEND1:
u guys should seek professional help.
and if with her condition, she resists the idea of seeking help.

My guy, just RUN!!!!!
If as a matured woman, she cannot appreciate what u are doing just to make sure she gets better?
She doesnt deserve you.

♡ They say love is blind,but marriage is a true eye-opener♡

You said it all.