MRBrownJ:


bro A40
they started like that, grew up like that, and got down like that....for 7yrs. the lady's "assumptions" is what failed her, not this man. as she said, their goals was to ultimately have a good job, and obviously, this guy aint got one yet. would you rather he sets his goals aside in order to build a family with the wrong foundation? (to each their own as to what their foundations should be)

JLM:
Guy I am begining to suspect that you are the guy himself. Ladies should run from all guys with your type of mentality. My sista runnnnnnnnn!!! These are the types that love to eat their cake and still have it.

NO 1, I repeat No man who "loves" you will keep you hanging, u know y? cos love means he cares about your well being, and your future, and is concerned that you are a woman and your time is going.

Have seen guys who wen they are not ready for marriage, or they have a nice gal friend, and do not want to keep her waiting and frustrated, they call her and let her go , because they understand what it means for a woman to be kept waiting till her time is late
and cos they actually "love" her .

A40:

McLaren no try oo! Because of wetin dem do Alonso you no dey post for F1 section again.

The goal of any person is to get a good job/business. I agree Nigeria of now is at the worst possible time to get married without a steady income. However I see nothing wrong with the girl trying to find out her position. I don't agree with biting your tongue for anybody and I don't think that's what the girl is suggesting but clearly she wants a commitment and I see nothing wrong with that. I've been there before only difference I tell these girls to do what works for them when they start acting funny or droning over and over about marriage. They are at two different places if you ask me

Cavenchy:


Well done Jamela

believer01:
26yrs

MRBrownJ:


bro, dont mention it, i have sleepless night when thinking of this BS move Alonso made this year, and as hard as i am telling myself it will be better eventually, every weekend it is getting worse and worse...especially when i now see Ferrari getting on the level of Mercedes (let alone Vettel moving there, KAI!!!!!). the thread is closed if not, i would have cried my eyes out on that thread, lol!

MRBrownJ:

i fully understand that she must sit down and talk to her man FIRST, so she knows exactly where she stands in that union, but what i dont understand is the people blaming the guy for having goals in his life and following them. she cannot force something like that and it should come naturally. who would even want to be marrying someone who wouldnt say YES genuinely? this is no different than emotional blackmail (and some women are expert at it).

Sexxkillz:
You're welcome. Never ever give any man a monopoly over you. You have a choice to make. You don't have to marry someone because you dated him for 7 years, especially someone who doesn't care.

Make up your mind now, and stick to it.

MRBrownJ:
@believer01

A) for 7yrs you guys were seemingly happy with the r/ship you had... what status have you achieved today that makes you think that you must "upgrade" this r/ship to marriage?! do any of you guys have the GOOD JOB that you were dreaming about while dating for 7yrs?

B) sadly, many foolish Nigerians believe that having millions in their account will lead the way to a great union.....while we all know this is BS. it has all to do with 9ja men egos and how it will make them feel much better if they can (at least) AFFORD all the bs that comes with marrying someone in 9ja, aka expensive glitzy wedding to portray yourselves as a successful loving couple (even if they aint).

C) if you knew all along that he didnt believe in early marriage, why are you trying to change him now?

D) how often do you expect him to visit your family? shouldnt he do that whenever he feels like it?! he has already told you that he is going to do whats right "in due time", so you probably should stop trying to con/trick him into a corner with your family.

as for your questions:



yes you should! dont you "LOVE" him?! you guys have already discussed the issue, so chill..... if you cant then you could always move on with your life with someone as desperate as you to get married.



what you wrote above is a CLEAR indication that you have NO IDEA what love means.... so pls stop talking of what you do NOT know. if you loved your man, there is NO WAY you would have written the above stoopidity.



so you understand him so well but yet dont understand why he asks you to wait until he will be ready for marriage?! why are you contradicting yourself? you dont understand the man because if you did, you wouldnt have opened this thread.



then why dont you go and marry one of his friends?! lol! whether money is enough or NOT, is not the issue here....the issue is that it is his CHOICE, so stand by it, instead of comparing him with other people. you cant even stand by that man's choices and yet you are here talking about love and/or marriage. you have NO concept of what it takes to marry someone, especially when you are here comparing your lives with that of others.



oh lawd!!!!!! and you have the audacity to say you love the guy............. i guess its a selfish love where only your insecure self matters, right?



here is what you should do....... sit down, ask yourself what is the priority in your life TODAY, and if that man can give you what you desire TODAY. if he can then great, but if he cant then ask yourself if you can wait for it or not. if you cant wait for it then move on with your life and go marry the 1st donkey you will meet.

MRBrownJ:


here is another confirmation of women and their low self esteem and insecurities. so, in your little world, a man who does not have the same goals as you "automatically" must be cheating?!

MRBrownJ:

what does love got to do with marriage?! are you saying that if you love someone you MUST marry them whenever YOU (women) are ready or/and desperate?! since when does 7yrs is the new limit for dating? funny how the care and wellbeing only matters when it is for women? (and we shouldnt care about the care and welbeing of men, right?)

MRBrownJ:

have we now become robots that we MUST act like all the other donkeys out there, like sheeps?!

the fact that you believe that a man should marry a lady simply because of her body clock is the most stoopid thing i have ever heard today, and i suggest you go and splash cold water on your face in order to get your senses back. any man or woman should use their HEAD/BRAIN into deciding if it is the right time to marry someone. they should NEVER use any other tool to evaluate whether they want to marry someone (or not). if all the necessary foundations are there, then they should plan on getting married, NOT BEFORE.

people like you have no RESPECT for marriage, and this is why you would think that anyone should get married for no damn reason, forget about their lifelong goals, and instead bring MISERABLE families into this world.

ForteNL:


A pure Nigerian with green dusty passport.
State? I was in Solid state few months ago but i am now back to..............lol

believer01:
26yrs

believer01:
thank you. i have tried several times to talk with him which always end with quarrel. i will talk with one of his family member that i am very close to

believer01:
i am a regular member on nairaland and i create this user to remain anonymous. i need mature guys and ladies to advise me on a way forward.
dont mind my grammar and typographical errors

i have been dating this guy since our 100level days in school, most people fear in school is that school relationships ends at the gate but our did'nt end at the gate. we went for youth service and still continue with our lovelife though the relationship was collapsing during service year but we built it up again and everything was okay after service. i happened to serve in his state and i was retained after service which makes us to start staying in the same town.
In school all our focus was to finish school, serve and get a good job. marriage was not really discussed cos i was thinking it was too early and since we were doing fine for 7years i believe marriage is inevitable (i hope that word is correctly use). there is one thing i discovered after service
1. he is not ready to talk about marriage not because he is tired of me or anything (cos i know i am one of the best things that has happened to him) but cos he believe he must have millions of naira in his account.
2. he believes the tradition of not marrying early in his family could also delay his marriage even though i have met almost all his family members.
3. he brings up quarrel or another issue when i bring up visiting my family even though he has met them twice.


my questions:
1. should i wait till "forever" when he will be ready to discuss/ready for the marriage?
2. i love him but now i have offers from different guys and i know the offers won't last forever(i have turn down 2 already). should i stay and pray he comes to his senses or leave him?
3. we are so closed to each other and understand each other so well that it will be difficult to understand anyone else like that.
4. am not against him having millions of naira but "money is never enough" his friends that are not as okay as himself are getting married already.
5. am not trying to rush him into marriage but how am i to know i won't regret waiting until when he will be ready? what if he leaves me after the long wait?

7years relationship now. plssss no insult we all do crazy things for love but we learn everyday and i believe this forum will give me the candid answer i seek

Sweetrosa:
just went through all your posts now.Did God give you all the wisdom in the world?

Sexxkillz:
Do you care about what strangers think about you? Do they feel your pain? Who cares if they call you wicked? Are they in your situation right now?

If this guy leaves you after you waited for him for 14 years, it is this same set of people that you are worried about them calling you wicked for leaving a 7 year relationship, that will still call you a big fool for dating and waiting for a man for 14 years. . .

Your life, your choice, your decision, your happiness.

believer01:
i am a regular member on nairaland and i create this user to remain anonymous. i need mature guys and ladies to advise me on a way forward.
dont mind my grammar and typographical errors
orum will give me the candid answer i seek

believer01:
i am a regular member on nairaland and i create this user to remain anonymous. i need mature guys and ladies to advise me on a way forward.
dont mind my grammar and typographical errors

i have been dating this guy since our 100level days in school, most people fear in school is that school relationships ends at the gate but our did'nt end at the gate. we went for youth service and still continue with our lovelife though the relationship was collapsing during service year but we built it up again and everything was okay after service. i happened to serve in his state and i was retained after service which makes us to start staying in the same town.
In school all our focus was to finish school, serve and get a good job. marriage was not really discussed cos i was thinking it was too early and since we were doing fine for 7years i believe marriage is inevitable (i hope that word is correctly use). there is one thing i discovered after service
1. he is not ready to talk about marriage not because he is tired of me or anything (cos i know i am one of the best things that has happened to him) but cos he believe he must have millions of naira in his account.
2. he believes the tradition of not marrying early in his family could also delay his marriage even though i have met almost all his family members.
3. he brings up quarrel or another issue when i bring up visiting my family even though he has met them twice.


my questions:
1. should i wait till "forever" when he will be ready to discuss/ready for the marriage?
2. i love him but now i have offers from different guys and i know the offers won't last forever(i have turn down 2 already). should i stay and pray he comes to his senses or leave him?
3. we are so closed to each other and understand each other so well that it will be difficult to understand anyone else like that.
4. am not against him having millions of naira but "money is never enough" his friends that are not as okay as himself are getting married already.
5. am not trying to rush him into marriage but how am i to know i won't regret waiting until when he will be ready? what if he leaves me after the long wait?

7years relationship now. plssss no insult we all do crazy things for love but we learn everyday and i believe this forum will give me the candid answer i seek

Sexxkillz:
You're welcome. Never ever give any man a monopoly over you. You have a choice to make. You don't have to marry someone because you dated him for 7 years, especially someone who doesn't care.

Make up your mind now, and stick to it.

Sexxkillz:
Do you care about what strangers think about you? Do they feel your pain? Who cares if they call you wicked? Are they in your situation right now?

If this guy leaves you after you waited for him for 14 years, it is this same set of people that you are worried about them calling you wicked for leaving a 7 year relationship, that will still call you a big fool for dating and waiting for a man for 14 years. . .

Your life, your choice, your decision, your happiness.

Sexxkillz:
Do you care about what strangers think about you? Do they feel your pain? Who cares if they call you wicked? Are they in your situation right now?

If this guy leaves you after you waited for him for 14 years, it is this same set of people that you are worried about them calling you wicked for leaving a 7 year relationship, that will still call you a big fool for dating and waiting for a man for 14 years. . .

Your life, your choice, your decision, your happiness.

believer01:
thank you but won't people see me as a wicked person if i end 7years relationship without even listening to my reasons

believer01:
noted

mrklean:
Please advice me I received this txt from my girlfriend. AYO AM SORRY, BUT I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE. TILL WE MEET AGAIN. GOODBYE THANK 4 EVERYTHING. AM GOING TO MISS U. MY PARENT DONT WANT U, IN MY LIVE .

Sexxkillz:
Your relationship isn't static. It's not even dying. . . Your relationship is dead.

That guy has someone else in mind. He wants you to leave at your own volition. It's good you've started using your common sense since God will not send an angel from heaven to talk to you.

How will you tell me that after 7 years of dating and sleeping with someone, after being with him from 100 level thru NYSC, after him meeting your family twice, after the plans you both have made towards marriage and he suddenly develops cold feet and picks a fight anytime you mention marriage, that all is well? What millions is he waiting to make? How much is bride price? What is actually the difference between marrying you as a wife, and all the fvcking and living together you two have been doing for 7 years? Why is he suddenly scared of committing to you in marriage, after committing to you and your punanny for 7 previous years?

I smell rotten catfish. And my nose never fails me.

Listen to me and listen good. A 7 year old child is now in primary 3. Next year, he or she will be in primary 4. Stop waiting for what will never be. Why do you want to wait for someone who isn't ready to discuss his future with you in it? Do you really want a hand writing on your mirror before you activate your number 6?

If you've been getting serious offers from other guys, stop turning them down and start paying them attention. Your happiness here is key. Make yourself happy. Why should your happiness depend on one man who doesn't want to discuss his future with you in it? Why do you want to wait for a selfish man who cares only about his millions? Do you not know that after he makes his millions, he's gonna dump you? Do you not know?

If you wait, you'll regret. He has already left you, but you are yet to get the confirmation, or as we say in banking terms, you never receive the alert. . .

lupey:


Sexxkillz is baaaaack!!!

*fist pump* yeah!!! That's what I'm talking about!

Hope you're good. . .

blakky97:

okay.
propose to him and marry him. its not a sin.
Ruth and Esther made the first moves on the men they eventually married and yet they are the only ones who have books in the bible.

Acidosis:
Na all these kain yeye relationships dey cause infidelity in marriage.


At the end of the day, you'd go after a guy you don't love out of desperation while keeping contacts with your school bf.

You might even end up with a virgin rich and innocent guy, after spending 7 good years under another man's roof


A beg abeg, just stick with your boyfriend, force him to marry you!
"Ki olorun ma je ka gbe egun elegun."


I will never marry any woman who has spent 7 years with another man. Your best shot is to lie about your past.

Whoever hears this will marvel