Then i felt like shooting my mum. . . Mine was worse.

When she dies, you can always adopt another mom abi?

Jack7777:
Then i felt like shooting my mum. . . Mine was worse.

Could you share?

KanwuliaJara:
When she dies, you can always adopt another mom abi?

Nope. And I'm not wishing her death.

guente02:

Nope. And I'm not wishing her death.

After hate, na to wish death next abi?
Small-small na journey!

KanwuliaJara:


After hate, na to wish death next abi?
Small-small na journey!

Your points are?

emmyagi:
i believe hating ur mum is not a good idea no matter what, i believe no mother will ever do anything to hot her child, she see's something that is why she dont want u to fall for it, if i may add when she is doing all this, what is ur dad saying, i think u need ur dad's help too

Kindly keep quiet there. I guess you haven't seen mothers putting pepper in their children's private, beating them with knives and planks, making them sit on stoves , slicing their hand with knife and roasting it etc.. all in the name of "discipline"

Some mothers are evil and that's a fact of life... Anyone can lay on their back, get knocked up and pop a kid out. It takes a virtuous woman to train a child with love. Unfortunately we don't have a lot of women like that anymore.

@ OP.. u gotta man up, your mates are graduates, chasing careers etc... Learn to stand up for yourself and do what men do. She can't be locking you in the house and you just sit there like a toddler with no mouth to talk.
Act like a man and take charge of your life. That's your key to freedom.

guente02:

I feel that what you pops scolded you on is tolerable when compared to mine.
Imagine ur pops picking ur call and calling d lady atd other end a mobile prostitute. Imagine ur pops telling u not to visit any friend of urs that doesn't visit you.
Imagine ur pops thinkn you're lashin a chick when he doesn't see you at home at 7pm. Imagine ur pops not caring about you by telling u to sleep outside during December cold for coming home late when you we're 14. And lots more

I'm sorry your mother did this. How irresponsible of her. .. I'm sorry o but there's a thin line between being protective and just plain spiteful

Is your dad still around? Loneliness might be the cause of her erratic behaviour.

I don't mean to be disrespectful to your mama but dammn!

misssclassy:


Well I believe everything he said. And I admire his courage.
No body has the right to treat their child in such manner.

Some parents deserve to have their genitals cut off and fed to them for what they do to their kids all in the name of training.
They destroy the lives and future of their kids without even knowing.

Word! misssclassy I couldn't agree more with all you've said on this thread..

Wow! Well said Miss Begonia... Now that's wisdom talking... *smiles*

Begonia:
There's something wrong. When people lose/ are losing (or probably never had) control over most things in their lives, they try to grasp and hold on to anything they can seemingly control. The one thing many parents feel they can control is their children's lives. There comes a time when they can't and shouldn't do this anymore. Some find it so difficult to let go and still want to prove they're "in charge". It gets worse as you grow older. I think this is called "helicopter parenting" where emotional blackmail is frequently used to control the child. This is exactly what your mum is doing.

You're going to have to talk to your mum. When she's in a good mood, tell her how she's making you feel towards her. Ask her what exactly it is she wants from you and let her know you won't let her down (if it's reasonable of course). No matter how the conversation goes, you're going to have to let go of any grudge you're holding against your mother. You'll be doing this, not for her but for your emotional and mental well being.

Most children that stay are still at home at that age feel just like you do. It is difficult for parents to let go and it is also difficult for children to abide by laws.
You are at an age where you feel you know it all better and that your mum is outdated. But some things never change.
This kind of pressure can motivate you positively to get independent fast and move out..
Don`t be too hard on your mum, she really cares and loves you. She just is so scared of you making mistakes and wants to protect you from the wicked world out there.
There are so many things my dad told me at that age, that I never believed or found absolutely weird or ridiculous. Today I know better.

Finally no one ever gets freedom offered on a plate. Mostly you have to fight for it.
So you need to free yourself. At your age and more so as a man, you have to learn to give your mother her boundaries. It is because you have not done that, that she still treats you like a child.
Don`t be rude but let her know with respect those decisions you now take by yourself. You see this is also absolutely okay in every culture and under ever law.

Abeg "killer op", why are you still in your mothers house? If you want 2 be truly independent in order 2 make the kind of choices u want 2 make then move out and be a man! Alternatively u can sit your ass under her roof and commit murder! Let us know how that option works out 4 u later! I wonder what choice u would have had if she had also decided 2 "murder u" when u were still a foetus growing in her belly!

hotice01:

I did,and if u read BTW the lines of my post,U'll understand better

How old are you ?
If you have a great mother it doesn't mean every other person does , I'm in my late 30's and I don't feel so much different from the poster. We may not have the same experience with our parents but a lot of parents get it wrong nowadays , agreed that my parents ( father and mother ) may not have bossed me around but they took some very vital decisions which has affected me negatively till this very day and I still struggle with career and finances. Not everyone has/had it good , even in affluence some parents still get it wrong. Try to empathize with the poster.

One thinq the op needs to know is that you cant stay under someonew roof and even expect 40% responsibility to be on you.....like my 'mother' (dont need insuts on top her matter oo) used to tell me...if the circumstances in her house isnt suitable for you, you leave to your house you have built (or not built), where you can have 100% responsibility but as lonq as you are under her roof you abide by her rules.....no two ways...

Some people here dey complain say dem no dey allow dem dey outside after 7 o'clock.....
When for my side by 4pm/5pm, we don dey siqn attendance for house.....and na till next morninq be that....

Some people done born finish at your age, you dey here dey misyarn. At 23/24, you should know better than to let your over-protective mom ruin your mood. Even if you were out caning a chick, so bloody what? You definitely are old enough.

However, being a big boy is not by HND or age, bruv. Like Mutter said, make your moves towards independence now; learn a skill or trade in your spare time, probably after lectures and weekends. The mere introduction of that routine will buy you tremendous respect and leeway, plus you don't really want to be a trial-and-error applicant after NYSC.

For now too, when you do come back late and she begins her sessions, just laugh move closer to her, kiss her and go to your room. Cikena. Go to her in her more approachable moments and state your case in a mild-harsh manner. She'll begin to concede space gradually.

There's really no reason to be mad at her, she simply wants the best for you and is smothering you. Let her know you need to breathe.

Good leck.

Dude Just two words for you.....

Seek Jesus

Call a meeting with your father in attendance and speak your mind.

hotice01:


What a mother sees while lying down,a child on top of MTN mast would not see it.
You won't value what you have until its gone.
In the fullness of time,when you mature,U'll understand better.

Talk to her,she might have some bitter psychological experience
from her childhood that might be influencing her attitude towards
u and making her over protective.
Hating her ain't the best option,you need to apply wisdom.
Age has nothing to do with maturity,u might be in ur mid twenties but u may be acting like a teenager which is making her afraid and over protective of u.cuz she doesn't trust ur sense of judgement.
Try to improve communication with your mom,and gradually work your way to finding out the root cause of her attitude.
Once you earn the trust and respect of your parents,and they trust your sense of judgement and you show good signs of maturity(not in terms of age) u get adequate freedom.
Trust me I once hated my mom and attempted running away from home when I was younger but today my mom is my best friend in the world,love her more than my own life.

you're stupi.d for the bolded... well ur experience is different, i hate my own mum, left the house 4 her, but i can't still say she didn't contribute anytin 2 my life

She is fraustrated. She needs a dick.

guente02:
Dear All.

I don't really know how to start this. I'm close to my mid twenties but my mom won't let me be. She's always introducing one law or the other.

She didn't start this recently, since i was barely 14 when she locked me and my brother outside in a cold northern summer night. Now she wants me to stop having friends entirely, she doesn't want to see me talking to any girl on phone or physically. She doesn't want me to go to some particular quarters of my compound because I have a friend she feels is influencing me negatively. She doesn't want me to visit any friend of mine that they should be the ones doing the visit.

I'm in my HND and I cant just wait to leave her alone, because the more i see her the more i hate her because all she's doing.

I don't drink, i don't smoke neither do I sleep around with girls. My life is really introverted and if i'm to go by her words I'm going be plugged into depression.

She's now saying that if i default in any of the things she said i shouldn't even see her as my mom. I don't know what she'll gain when I'm feeling bad of myself by obeying her.

I'm tired.

Someone should please give me an advice.

I believe there are no trolls in the family section.

dear! you are absolutely right but if you can treat her with her mind set then she will be good with you...... its a key to success, ( Treat her with her mind set)

I believe missclasssy has done justice to the thread. Lovely comments missclasssy...really lovely!

some people are just pure wicked...

hotice01:


What a mother sees while lying down,a child on top of MTN mast would not see it.
You won't value what you have until its gone.
In the fullness of time,when you mature,U'll understand better.

Talk to her,she might have some bitter psychological experience
from her childhood that might be influencing her attitude towards
u and making her over protective.
Hating her ain't the best option,you need to apply wisdom.
Age has nothing to do with maturity,u might be in ur mid twenties but u may be acting like a teenager which is making her afraid and over protective of u.cuz she doesn't trust ur sense of judgement.
Try to improve communication with your mom,and gradually work your way to finding out the root cause of her attitude.
Once you earn the trust and respect of your parents,and they trust your sense of judgement and you show good signs of maturity(not in terms of age) u get adequate freedom.
Trust me I once hated my mom and attempted running away from home when I was younger but today my mom is my best friend in the world,love her more than my own life.

abrahimzy:
The NIGERIA CUSTOM internal recruitment is on to apply call MR Ibrahim on: for assistance on how to proccess the form.Please beware of fraudsters

The joke is on you
Scammer!

Bro, i understand how you feel. I don't know (but i suspect) your dad may be far away from you guys or no more (forgive me if i am wrong).

The thing here is that your mother is playing her protective role. She does not want you to be misled and influenced negatively by peer pressure. It's a wild wild world we are living in. Look around you bro... alot of negative and bad things are happening today.

Do anything possible to obey her rules or laws as you put it. Remember she is your mum and she knows what is best for you. You might not get to realize this now, but by the time you grow older (whether you keep to her admonitions or not), you would get to realize that it was all for your own good and will thank her for that someday.

I heard of a convicted criminal who was about to be executed whose last words were words of regret that if only he had listened to his mother, he wouldn't be dying on that day.

Definitely, one day you will move out and live on your own where she will not be around to "boss" you anymore but the role she played in disciplining you will act as a positive guideline to your life as an adult.


#ILoveMyMum.

Op I'm sure your mum have her reasons.. mums knows best you know...




Seriously, let her know you are not comfortable with her over protective attitude. And give her reasons to trust you are really good.




Plus.....

Are you going to school from home
And are you her only child or only son

guente02:
Dear All.

I don't really know how to start this. I'm close to my mid twenties but my mom won't let me be. She's always introducing one law or the other.

She didn't start this recently, since i was barely 14 when she locked me and my brother outside in a cold northern summer night. Now she wants me to stop having friends entirely, she doesn't want to see me talking to any girl on phone or physically. She doesn't want me to go to some particular quarters of my compound because I have a friend she feels is influencing me negatively. She doesn't want me to visit any friend of mine that they should be the ones doing the visit.

I'm in my HND and I cant just wait to leave her alone, because the more i see her the more i hate her because all she's doing.

I don't drink, i don't smoke neither do I sleep around with girls. My life is really introverted and if i'm to go by her words I'm going be plugged into depression.

She's now saying that if i default in any of the things she said i shouldn't even see her as my mom. I don't know what she'll gain when I'm feeling bad of myself by obeying her.

I'm tired.

Someone should please give me an advice.

I believe there are no trolls in the family section.

listen don`t take an effect on yourself of her saying just be relax because you have to give good exam tomorrow and listen she give you a birth from her tummy and you would have her value after he gone... she is not asking a bad things about your self she only wants to save you from bad environment and wants to make you a good person...... see result in end.... and if you thing she is doing wrong with you then tell her what you are thinking about her and treat her with her mind set as i ask you before

Introvert

Runs off

guente02:

I have my grandmother which is loyal to her in all ramifications.
Even my maternal grandmother can't do anything without consulting her and if she likes she'll give a go and if she's in a bad mood she'll sweep it under d carpet. When I'm saying this is that i cant tell her to talk to my mother.
I've got an elder bro which will be basking in freedom since he secured admission in a school outta d state.
See its really not easy for me now. I want to go and see my church reverend and hear from him. Because me i can't take all this.
I've been obeying her since now she's now saying I've changed. I was only bearing things and I cant take it anymore. Pple r running away from me saying vrry hurtful things. All d girla in my church has been embarrassed by my mom for just standing and talking with them. My male friends d same. She's sayin she won't take me as hrr son if i dont go by what she says. Im tired. If i had d means i would just pack out and let her eat d house.

I really can't understand why she acts that way, judging from what you said. There are usually 2 sides to a story. It would have been better to know why your mother acts this way.

But the best thing to do is to talk with her. You never mentioned your father. Is he also around ?Your father's intervention can make a huge difference. You can talk to him about your challenges. If not for the situation of things, at a certain age, adults should not be with their parents.

I would have advised you to live by yourself but as it is now, that's not possible. You have to cope with her. Parents are not perfect too.

She loves u that's y, if many have had this particular guide that is been given to u on a plata of gold nigeria would have been a better place... When u no more stay with her u'll know da diff. Be grateful dude...