She's now saying that if i default in any of the things she said i shouldn't even see her as my mom. I don't know what she'll gain when I'm feeling bad of myself by obeying her.

devour129:
my dear, hotice01 is right . Maybe he acts like a child n the mother doesn't trust his judgements . Am a mother and I can tell you btw my kids the one that won't leave my sight in a long while .as a mum I know them from birth , their character, their weaknesss and strength and I can tell the one that needs protection . Parents just know ! Another example is my family , my elder sister got OAU admission but my parents didn't let her go, the next year I got mine and there was no argument cos my parents knew I can not be influenced n intimidated .

guente02:
Dear All.

I don't really know how to start this. I'm close to my mid twenties but my mom won't let me be. She's always introducing one law or the other.

She didn't start this recently, since i was barely 14 when she locked me and my brother outside in a cold northern summer night. Now she wants me to stop having friends entirely, she doesn't want to see me talking to any girl on phone or physically. She doesn't want me to go to some particular quarters of my compound because I have a friend she feels is influencing me negatively. She doesn't want me to visit any friend of mine that they should be the ones doing the visit.

I'm in my HND and I cant just wait to leave her alone, because the more i see her the more i hate her because all she's doing.

I don't drink, i don't smoke neither do I sleep around with girls. My life is really introverted and if i'm to go by her words I'm going be plugged into depression.

She's now saying that if i default in any of the things she said i shouldn't even see her as my mom. I don't know what she'll gain when I'm feeling bad of myself by obeying her.

I'm tired.

Someone should please give me an advice.

I believe there are no trolls in the family section.

guente02:
Really appreciate you inputs.
My dad is late for about 12yrs now.
She doesn't foot my bills. I take care of myself since Jss3 selling pure water and what have you. I'm a software developer and i get money enough to fund my going to school from home and buying some food stuff when I'm having enough. I also pay my 40k school fees. All she does is give me food and roofing over my head.
My brother use to behave like this but i didn't want to follow suit because i don't want her to feel really bad but now he has gone to school outside town and was sympathizing with me when i told him of recent happenings.
But now its now excess. I don't chase girls just little chat here and there and i do this to avoid embarrassment because she has on several occasions done so in my street with everyone watching. She even gave me a dirty slap in my compound for coming out to watch where people were fighting.
I don't drink or smoke like my father. I just mind my business and focus on my future but my mother is always disturbing.
I'm just gonna keep calm for a few days. Im just pitying her because I don't want to be very stubborn like my brother that steadily rises her bp and I'm afraid disobeying her may spoil what God probably has for me.
But I will come out like a mad dog if ahe continues like this.

limamintruth:


Aaahhh, dont hate your mum abeg; she is only being over-protective & most parents are guilty of this.

Just bear with her for this period you two are still together cos soonest, a time will come when you two will be living apart from each other. Remember you wont be staying with her forever.

My parents were over-protective too while i was still with them but it was after i began living on my own that i realised all they had for me were purely good intentions based.

Infact, lemme share with you a little bit of my own experience to enable you understand me better.
While i was still with my parents (& a university student at the time) my parents barred me from staying out late at night, hence, i was always expected back home on/or b4 7:30pm daily.
At that time, i also considered that rule as disrespectful & unfair to me.
Therefore, i was so happy the day i finally left my parents & moved into my own apartment. And to celebrate the moment, i went out at night to have unlimited fun with some friends. Then at about some few mins.-to-11pm, we set off back home. Unfortunately for me however, few minutes after i had alighted from my friend's car (about 2 streets from my place) & was trekking down to my area, some fugly-looking hoodlums from only God knows where attacked me & dispossessed me of the small money i had amidst slaps on the face.
Since from that day, i was this time around the one that barred myself from keeping late nights cos i dont pray to ever witness such an incident again.

BTW I was brought up in the north & still reside in the north also. So dont allow your mum's excessive control over you to weigh you down ooo. Its just a phase that will soon pass away starting from the moment you leave for nysc.
On the other hand, why not stay on campus in sch.?

vislabraye:


I really can't understand why she acts that way, judging from what you said. There are usually 2 sides to a story. It would have been better to know why your mother acts this way.

But the best thing to do is to talk with her. You never mentioned your father. Is he also around ?Your father's intervention can make a huge difference. You can talk to him about your challenges. If not for the situation of things, at a certain age, adults should not be with their parents.

I would have advised you to live by yourself but as it is now, that's not possible. You have to cope with her. Parents are not perfect too.

guente02:

I feel that what you pops scolded you on is tolerable when compared to mine.
Imagine ur pops picking ur call and calling d lady atd other end a mobile prostitute. Imagine ur pops telling u not to visit any friend of urs that doesn't visit you.
Imagine ur pops thinkn you're lashin a chick when he doesn't see you at home at 7pm. Imagine ur pops not caring about you by telling u to sleep outside during December cold for coming home late when you we're 14. And lots more

waistaa:
. My dear don't make it sound simple,I for one is going through this stage.am a through with school and nysc,job hunting right now and d silly rules are seriously killing me,depression is an understatement,I don't even talk to her these days,I just go for errands and am glued to my phone and room.imagine an extrovert being forcefully turned to an introvert or should I say locked up. At OP since u are a guy,find a job to use no matter how small the pay is and bail out.who knows about others.

emmyagi:
i believe hating ur mum is not a good idea no matter what, i believe no mother will ever do anything to hot her child, she see's something that is why she dont want u to fall for it, if i may add when she is doing all this, what is ur dad saying, i think u need ur dad's help too

funlord:

Abeg "killer op", why are you still in your mothers house? If you want 2 be truly independent in order 2 make the kind of choices u want 2 make then move out and be a man! Alternatively u can sit your ass under her roof and commit murder! Let us know how that option works out 4 u later! I wonder what choice u would have had if she had also decided 2 "murder u" when u were still a foetus growing in her belly!

Tallesty1:
A child will never know that her parents are right until he/she begets a child.



*Goes Back To Sleep*

zicoraads:
I believe missclasssy has done justice to the thread. Lovely comments missclasssy...really lovely!

ladyteska:
try to talk to her or obey her.....very soon she will be the one asking you when you are getting married,,shey God will miraculously send you a wife