Not every pregnancy is planned. In fact, I’m
inclined to believe that so many of us came about
by accidental discharge, following the way we
behave these days.

Even amongst married folks who are licensed to
have S3x, we hear horror stories of unplanned
pregnancies. No wonder abortion clinics are
popping out just about everywhere. People seem
not to care about safe S3x or understand the
simple meaning of contraception.


Well, I’m not here to educate you on that. You can
check your local community health care center for
proper information. My job here is to let you in on
what happens when someone comes and tells you
that they got accidentally pregnant.

I will not blame the female folk today until next
time. Guys are going to get the heat for this one.
Here are 8 times men get stupid during S3x and
produce an offspring.


1. “I Pull Out Before I Shoot Out’

Oshey, Lord Withdrawal! Didn’t they tell you that
your pre-cum has enough sperm from your last
self-service session to father a child? Oh okay, you pee
in-between sessions. Nice move. But you can’t
honestly tell me that there weren’t a few slip-ups
in all your pull out encounters. You and I know that
the sweetest part is when you offload all your
goods in the right warehouse. So stop applauding
yourself for staining the sheets. And just a little
reminder, someone in the bible days died because
of this type of thing.


2. ‘It’s The Woman’s Responsibility To Handle
Contraception’

This is how so many clueless men have been lied
to. She tells you she’s on the pill or that she’ll pop
some after and you believe and go in without
protection. This same babe will come back a
month later and tell you the pill(s) didn’t work.
Dude, never believe any of that nonsense a woman
says before S3x. Always have yourself locked and
loaded.


3. ‘I Tear Open The Condom Package With My
Teeth’

It’s good to get the mouth, and sometimes even
the teeth involved during S3x but please, use your
fingers to tear open the condom package. Why? To
avoid poking a hole into the condom, stupid. The
only hole you should be poking should be… never
mind. The wise ones understand what I’m talking
about.


4. Putting On Or Taking Off The Condom During
S3x

Okay, seriously I don’t get this part. You start
having S3x then halfway, for whatever reason, you
say ‘oops! sorry, I forgot to use a condom’ and
then you put one on. Have you heard of pre-cum?
Obviously not. Google it. Then for those of you who
decide ‘this condom thing is killing my vibe’ and
decide to remove it halfway, please go for quality
stuff next time or learn how to wear on a condom
correctly or just get married and stay faithful
mbok.


5. ‘We Had S3x During Her Period’

First of all…eww! Second, don’t deceive yourself.
Women have and can get pregnant during their
periods. Some medical practitioners will not agree
to this but others will. It has been found that some
women ovulate when they are menstruating, so
next time while dipping into the Red Sea, be sure to
use a life jacket. If you go releasing your little
swimmers with no protection, one of them is bound
to swim upstream and catch something you’re not
prepared for.


6. I’ve Had The Condom For Three Years

My dear brother, I know it’s a quality brand product
and probably cost you a few hundred naira and
you’re saving it for prime V, or just maybe you
haven’t been laid in a long time; but it’s no reason
for you to leave it in your wallet until it either
expires or becomes useless. Use it when it’s still
good or throw it away.


7. ‘I Like My Condom Tight’

And so you . your p*n*s all in to fill the condom tip.
Bros, unless your p*n*s is shaped exactly like a
condom, please desist from tightening things in
there. You have to leave that space for the spill. If
you don’t, the condom will break. I’m tempted to
say it’s not ‘rocket’ science but erm…


8. ‘We Had S3x While Standing’

First of all, buhahahahaha! For real? So, let me
understand the logic. You did it while standing and
all of the semen spilled to the floor and none was
left in her. Hmmm… In physics, following the law of
gravity, it makes sense. But not in biology, which
may have a law somewhere that states ‘what goes
in, stays in’. You should know that the v*g’i’na is
one place that may not have a door but has a way
of keeping things in. Be Warned!

Basically, just don’t be stupid during S3x. Protect
yourself and your woman. Use a condom


http://blog.vlmagazinemag.com/?p=47

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Hahahhahah

...

Withdrawal method hasn't failed me since 1683

INTROVERT:
Hahahhahah

You didnt make FTC here ..

Take Heart

Hmmmm

*clears throat* . *adjust eye glasses* . *continues reading *

Whizzcute:

You didnt make FTC here ..


Take Heart

Clap for yourself.

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This has been posted before. I like ur hustle sha. Its a nice write up and if u keep posting it every few months, one of the mods will v pity and move it to fp. Till then, soldier on.

LMAO!!!

Had a nice time laughing while reading this...