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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly (8145 Views)
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Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by Kimoni: 4:46pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
cococandy: He shouldn't block his ears, he shouldn't hit her back, he shouldn't move out, OK. But while he's still resolving the issue and the nagging hasn't stopped, what should he do? Faceless people, family, friends - its the same mechanism that works, it's all in your hands not to allow words get to you. Never easy I agree. But if you can't cope, by all means, quit the environment. |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by cococandy(f): 4:57pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
Kimoni:Like I said, I agree with you that they should get to the root of the problem. That's through communication not ignoring the behavior. He needs to make it clear he can't be enduring such indefinitely. Give her ultimatum to stop addressing him in such manners if necessary. And Mean it too. If she won't stop, then he would know he's given her fair warning on what to expect if she continues. He knows the lady, anything he can do to get her to stop is better in my opinion than swallowing hurtful words and boiling on the inside. If one tells him to close his ears to it, when will it stop? Until God touches her? More like the fast and pray and wear sexy lingerie for a cheating spouse instead challenging them to stop it. |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by Stillfire: 5:04pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
cococandy: True. We all have our limits. You know who your husband/wife is. You don't do things to escalate the situation even in tight situations. I will kick a badly behaved, drama-inducing man or woman out of my house without wasting time. I don't do well with drama at all. My home is where I find peace, the moment I cannot get that - out you go! When your senses come back, I'll let you in. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by Kimoni: 5:09pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
cococandy: The above is a process, and realistically speaking, I don't expect her to stop in a day. Old habits die hard. So while the resolution is still a work-in-progress, what should he do anytime she nags?
My advice again - nagging will not kill him. Rather than hit her back, he should learn to ignore. Concurrently, he should address the root of the problem. I propose reducing her idle time by getting her a job or establishing her in a business. If she refuses and continues her nasty behavior, the next steps are entirely up to him. |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by pickabeau1: 5:11pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
Kimoni: what does quit the enviromet mean Leave the house? 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by Kimoni: 5:14pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
pickabeau1: Place, person, blog, nairaland, politics section, family section, whatever! |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by pickabeau1: 5:24pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
Kimoni: be more specific You are the one equating online stuff where u log into at your convenience to a marriage which is with you physically A woman is a perpetual nag.. so u advocate he leave the marriage How is your advice different from dinachi's 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by Kimoni: 5:30pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
pickabeau1: To be more specific, pls don't make your question ambiguous Difference between dinachi's and I - Address the root cause first, not divorce/separate immediately. Pick, this is very clear from my posts o |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by Kimoni: 5:31pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
dinachi: Dinachi, you will get this thread locked, you know that right. You need to tap into my "ignore" preaching |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by dinachi(m): 5:35pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
Kimoni:You know I hate hypocrisy! You saw her attack me and you said Nada but since I now reply in kind you start warning me. This is exactly what I hate. Selective justice. Just the way I have not heard one single condemnation of the Op wife Abusive tendenciws from you. Some of you women will never learn. You always support evil because a female is the one perpetrating it. 8 Likes |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by Kimoni: 5:39pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
dinachi: Let me teach you practical steps on how to ignore, I won't charge you Just watch how I am going to ignore the bolded cuz it's not true ***ignore*** |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by cococandy(f): 5:47pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
Ok Kimoni: |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by pickabeau1: 6:13pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
Kimoni: But you both came to the same conclusion |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by Kimoni: 6:15pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
pickabeau1: Leaving immediately and trying to resolve issues before leaving means the same thing |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by pickabeau1: 6:16pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
Kimoni: You said if the woman is a perpetual nag,, leave the environment I believe leaving is common to both of you |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by Kimoni: 6:18pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
pickabeau1: Timing difference. Seek a solution first Pick, my hand dey pain me o |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by pickabeau1: 6:19pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
1 Like |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by dinachi(m): 6:20pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
Kimoni:OK. So following your argument if nagging cannot kill him then slapping her cannot kill her either, right? Kimoni: That means the slapping is not also expected to stop anytime soon. I mean following your line of argument abi? Kimoni:Can she also learn to ignore the slappings? 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by Kimoni: 6:23pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
dinachi: Sticks and stones may break my bones.... However, If he is weak and not mentally strong enough to ignore while a solution is being worked on, rather than physically abuse or kill her, he should separate. |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by Kimoni: 6:23pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
1 Like |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by Ishilove: 7:05pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
dinachi:I have been watching and following what you write about women on Nairaland for a very long time, and to be very blunt, it is very appalling. If you aren't married, it will be very interesting finding out who you will end up with and how you will fare as a husband. If you are married, it will also be interesting having a one to one chat with her to know how she is coping with a husband like you. The poor woman must be emotionally stressed and psychologically traumatised!!! God knows I can't marry a man who thinks like you. I will use mouth to finish his life, reroute his worldview and reformat his thinking. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by dinachi(m): 7:27pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
Ishilove:Playing the gender card on me now ain't you? I speak from the heart. With me you will know first hand exactly what I think. Well not everybody likes that approah, I admit but with me you don't have to guess. My dear there is so much pretence in this world. Most people play to the gallery and that is what is really appalling not a guy keeping it real and saying it as it is! Well if you are addicted to false compliments and pretentious pamperings, very clearly I am not your guy I am brutally frank. That is my life and style. And I tell ya it had always worked for me even with women. So take a chill pill and keep being one of my favorite mods! 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by Ishilove: 7:32pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
dinachi:I appreciate honesty. I also appreciate tact. There are situations that call for brutal honesty, and ther are times that call for tact. You seem to believe that brutal honesty should be used at all times. You know what they say about words? Words are like daggers; when used carelessly they are capable of causing so much injury... Be wise in how you use your words, dinachi. |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by 5minsmadness: 7:38pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
Kimoni: Words are like daggers; when used carelessly they are capable of causing so much injury... .... Ishilove. 6 Likes |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by dinachi(m): 8:05pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
Ishilove:OK. Now tell your some of your ladies here to get of my back.... 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by DzTzl(f): 8:12pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
mutter:How old are you?? |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by Ishilove: 8:14pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
dinachi:You remind me of my youngest brother. Several years ago, he came home from school weeping bitterly that he was being bullied. We comforted him as best as we could. The following day, he came back home with the same complaint. My dad, worried that his darling last born was facing stress at school, stormed the school the following day to complain to the school authorities. It was then that the fowl's bushy rear end was exposed. It seemed Lil Bro was the tormentor. He had quite a reputation for being a rabble rouser and a most fearsome bully. When the school management decided to crack down on bullies, he got the rough end of the stick and came home crying blue murder. After hearing this unbelievable tale, Dad, mortified beyond words, got up, dusted his buttocks, shook the hand of the headmaster and left the school premises in a hurry I'm sure you catch my drift... |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by steppin: 8:16pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
Arizona1:No offense bro, but you're not man enough! If you are, the things you wrote won't happen. It's as simple as that. |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by Ishilove: 8:17pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
Please, any further reference to rotten puccys here will earn the offenders hefty bans. Thanks for your anticipated cooperation |
Re: My Wife Accuses Me Wrongly by Kimoni: 8:27pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
5minsmadness: True...but if you try hard enough, words passes from your left ear and leaves via the right ear You don't give it room to germinate talkless of grow I'll be the first to admit it's not an easy process |
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