Do absolutely nothing to encourage him AT ALL from the moment you awake (in yesterday’s yoga pants and last night’s makeup).

Spend the day cleaning yogurt off the walls, fishing library books out from under the couch and dropping ungrateful children off at school-then soccer practice-then piano lessons-then back to soccer practice in your late model minivan. Make time “for you” by eating a hot fudge sundae in the Dairy Queen parking lot in between kid shuttling. Listen to Guns and Roses and channel Panama City Spring Break 1995. Recall that was the last time you actually were willing to wear bikini.

Slop ice cream down the front of your shapeless hoodie. Lick it off and call it good. This is your “dress-up” sweatshirt and it needs to stay nice.

Go through three different drive thru restaurants to satisfy the dinner requests of your four children. Make them eat a yogurt with their french fries to assuage your guilt.

Space out for awhile.

Commence with bedtime routine for children. Four hours later, crawl into your own bed, covered in ice cream, sweat, yogurt, and the shattered remnants of your former life.

Catch a glimpse of your husband, trying to look seductive.

Sigh.

You: I feel like having sex with you, but I am really exhausted. What are the odds that we can pull this off in less than three minutes, both have orgasms and I don’t have to take any of my clothes off?

Him: That’s the best (ONLY) offer I’ve had all week. Challenge accepted, mi-lady. Now watch me go.

For more Interesting Reading: http://www.pafegs.com/how-to-make-love-to-your-husband/

hmm

wetin only u dey talk

This is oyinbo things.

Rubbish, how many women get ungrateful kids for this country, ow many women dey drive mini van for this nation, ow many dey take their children go soccer practice? That thing up there is not for Nigerians OK.

You forgot to mention hot fudge sundae.

Wetin be that.

Senseless.
Go teach Nigerian men how to make love to their wives 'cause they're most likely useless in bed.

Wow! useless in bed and useless out of it.
How pathetic!