I was leaving my office that Thursday evening when she suddenly rushed up to me as I was by the car. I was surprised to see her, she didn't tell me she was coming, usually she would have so I'd have been expecting her, this time she didn't and I wondered why.
Also 7pm wasn't a time I thought she would still be outside her home, her parents aren't like that, they are quite strict and conservative hence, wouldn't let their sixteen year old daughter be outside the home and in my side of town at that time of the day.
Looking at the face and anxious state of this sixteen years old girl got me initially worried, I thought something had happened to both or either of her parents. I know them quite well and my initial conclusion on why they would let her be at Ikeja instead of FESTAC her home was either domestic crisis or a major negative development.
I immediately got out from my car and held her by her upper arms to stabilise her as she took quick unsteady steps towards me. She was visibly shaken and very disturbed. It was obvious she had been crying, something bad must have happened. I held her and helped her into my car into the passenger's seat and went around the car to the driver's seat; sat in to listen to what the problem was. By the time she was done narrating her ordeal, I was upset and disappointed particularly in her parents.
Dayo, just 16, a beautiful young teenager shouldn't be getting herself into this kind of mess. After telling her story, I understood why she had to come to me, she could never have told her parents this story. I was really not happy about what she had gotten herself into, but I was glad she saw me as someone she could run to in such a situation and I wondered what she would have done if I wasn't that close to her or a trusted friend of her parents.
Dayo is a very brilliant and beautiful sixteen years old teenager, just concluded her secondary education and waiting for her admission into a higher institution somewhere outside the country.
The first child of three siblings and the only girl. Her parents are career folks, very hardworking, diligent and committed to their careers hence have risen very fast and doing very well on their jobs and their income. Besides being well to do, they are also very religious, they are leaders in church hence when they are not at work; they are mostly in church as committed and hardworking stewards.
Dayo; at sixteen is fully developed physically and looks older than her age especially when made up, until you look intently at her face and hear her speak. She looks older than sixteen body wise.
She's very sharp, brilliant, very intelligent, inquisitive and ambitious. She's very trendy, a fashionista, loves music, loves to dance, full of life and is a people person.
Her parents are very strict and are a bit too hard on her I believe, the only reason she could confidently speak to me and share things with me is because I'm close to her parents; I counsel them as well and they do trust me, if not, her mother especially would never allow Dayo relate with me the way she does, she'd make sure any interaction is from a distance.
Dayo doesn't think much of religion or God, she's told me several times religious people are pretenders and hypocrites, her parents for her are a typical example; always quarrelling in the house, cursing and mean to each other, but very friendly at church, pretending all is well and counselling other members of the congregation. She also can't stand many members of the church all wanting to act like they have a say in her life, complaining about her dressing, her trousers too tight, her skirt too short or tight, her braids too long, her hair extension too expensive for a girl her age and her top too tight, too low or transparent. There's something they always have to complain about, meanwhile their own children are worse and out of control. I've tried to make her see things differently but she would just laugh and change the topic.
Dayo came to me that late that evening because she was somehow in trouble. According to her story, she met this guy on social media. Dayo hardly goes out or interact with other people, her parents wouldn't let her; in their opinion not letting her go out or mix freely is protection, so she spends most of her time alone, in her room and subsequently became addicted to her tab and social media.
So, she met this guy on social media, they began to chat, and chat and chat some more and consequently became very close on line. The communication and conversation became frequent, intense and much personalised. Dayo and this guy Daniel by name began to share very private and personal information including obscene pictures and videos with a lot of dirty talk.
Dayo eventually became infatuated and thought she was in love with this Guy Daniel. On the day she had come to see me, she had made arrangements to see Daniel for the very first time, He lives in Isolo. Dayo told her parents she wanted to go make her hair, in truth she did make her hair but afterwards went to see Daniel at Isolo all the way from FESTAC.
Eventually she got to his place and met with him. He was alone in the house so unfortunately, he made attempts to have carnal knowledge of her. He was desperate, strong and was becoming aggressive. You see, Dayo is sharp, she didn't shout, refuse him or appear scared. She just told him she wouldn't do it without protection and since this was his neighbourhood it is better she goes to the chemist nearby to buy one so the neighbours would afterwards not look at him funny. To convince him, she left her tab and her phone with him, left his apartment and then rushed to my office at Ikeja. She wanted me to follow her back to Dan's place at Isolo to recover her tab and her phone then take her home to her parents and tell them she came back home late because I had asked her to come see me.
How old is this Daniel guy I asked her, He's forty two she replied. I became weak.
Ladies and gentlemen, do you really know your children? Do you know your kids especially your teenagers? Do you really think all they need is money, good education in reputable institutions, clothes, food, comfort and prestige?
Are you taking out the frustration of our socioeconomic challenges and your personal insecurity on your children? Are you worried they would do what you did when you were their age but was lucky to get away with it and you think they may not?
How close are you to your children? Do they know you, do you know them; are you really a family or you all just co-habit? Can they tell you anything, will they tell you everything? If they wouldn't, is it your fault or theirs? Do you judge, suspect and criticise them? Do you nag and use the misconduct and errors of their mates to judge and even manage them? Are you afraid for them, are they afraid of you? If in trouble would they come to you or run to a total stranger?
Let me tell you this, career is good but it's for a purpose; it's to create value and make the world a better place; first for the members of your house hold then the world at large. If you fail in relationship with your family you can't be motivated and confident to want to succeed with outsiders. Raising your family is more than material and financial provision, it's about being there emotionally, psychologically and physically. It's a relationship, a friendship, it's also about spending time together. It's about building trust, paying attention and a listening ear. For most of us in career, our children today have become underrated treasures. We are only glad we have children we don't really behave well as parents. We love ourselves and ambition much more than these great children. If you mess up your children now, be sure they will mess you up later on in life.
Its summer time again my friends, don't spend all the time abroad going from place to place and shopping thinking it's all about exposure, shopping and a nice time. Stay indoors most of the time during this vacation and play with your kids. Tease them, play with them, joke with them, break the ice, be comical, crack jokes, play board games, watch movies together and be a family.
If you do not have the means to travel overseas this summer, travel to a place within the country. There are several exciting and affordable holiday spots in Nigeria. Go with your whole family, spend time together. While on this holiday leave behind all phones, devices and gadgets. Go with just one phone anyone can reach you on in case of an emergency. You need your family. You need this holiday. Don't underrate your children, they are your great treasures, be responsible; be there for them. Life is already hard for these children as it were, don't make it tougher with your absence and bad home management. Take responsibility.



http://muyiwaafolabi.com/blog/Frankly-Speaking-With-Muyiwa-Afolabi/TODAY-ON-FRANKLY-SPEAKING---YOUR-LIVES-WORK-A-MASTERPIECE-.php

TOO LONG

kolatobs:
TOO LONG

Indolent reader.

can summarise this story for me

STOP BORING US WITH LONG POSTS PLEASE.

This ur story is xo long. Buts its
























































LONG AND BORING...Get a life!