Sunofgod:

Yeah - only associate with rich people - poor people are trouble!
(Bros - Can you lend me like $2000 until payday? Abeg!)

StOla:
Guy! Welcome to Nigeria.

I don't even reply most whatsapp and facebook chats any more. They now lay in wait for me to come online then they attack, knowing you must acknowledge their presence.

I can write an epistle on this topic.
I'm resident in Nigeria so this is even rampant with those with higher earning power within Nigeria. I get to travel a lot, but the internet banking facilities have ensured I keep making expenditures on behalf of other people.

I'm getting really frustrated with always having to promise a portion of my future salary to help a friend or the other. These locusts, coupled with my own economic pursuits, have ensured I barely have enough cash before the next pay check.

how is it compulsory for you to do all these?

The demands never stop. Ranging from the very important to mundane stuff like a jobless man planning a wedding with expenses that rival a society wedding.
So I begin to wonder if people can't just cut their coat according to their cloth.

I have contemplated a change of mobile line, but I'll be losing a lot of contacts who must reach me in the course of my job.

It's a rather sad situation, that requires both financial empowerment of the needy, and social orientation on being self reliant - a trait that is not very African/Nigerian.

I hope Dangote and Adenuga can continue from where I must be stopping. This matter pass my power. I am not Jesus Christ, I can't help everyone I would like too.

I have my own needs too, and dreams to pursue. I also suspect most of these beneficiaries of my magnanimity would not do the same if roles were reversed.

astrodome:
Help!! Friends, family, former school mates and others are killing me with financial demands. Everyday I receive facebook (fb) messages, phone calls, email messages and messages from other communication avenues from family members, friends close and distant, school mates I have not seen in 20 years but with whom I reconnected on fb, and even random fb friends (meaning I do not know them personally but somehow we managed to be friends on fb). They all have the same story: please send me money, anything.

Each month I send nearly 3k to Nigeria and they keep asking for more.

Do they think I pluck money from trees in America?
Do they think every Nigerian in America is doing drugs or credit card fraud to make money?
Are they thinking that since Akin or Emeka made it in America (in many cases by selling drugs and doing credit card fraud), I should also make it and therefore be able to satisfy their unending demands?

How do I explain to them that I have bills (auto, mortgage, water-sewer, electricity, gas, phone, credit card) to pay. And then I have to run my family (of 4) and fuel 2 cars, and on top of that, I have to save also for the rainy day - for when kids get to college.

I am able to resist the random fb friends because I do not have any personal connection with them, but how do I scare the ones I know off without sounding rude and unhelping? I know that when you stop giving, you become an enemy.
Help! Before a fellow nairalander runs amock on the streets of America because of pressure from Nigeria

Just for disclosure: I am well-heeled in the US mid-upper middle class, earning a 6-figure pay, holds a PhD, and involved in R4D activities. But I live in a US city (name withheld) where mortgage payment alone takes 25% of my monthly income. So you can imagine that after paying all bills, I do not have tons of money left over to give out on frequent basis.

Please advise on how to handle this, Naija style . Thanks

OREMUSSANCTUS:
Carry cocaine to indonesia, if u want to end it once and for all.

astrodome:


You mean I should send myself to my death (for that is the reward for drug trafficking in Indonesia) to avoid them?

astrodome:

I am able to resist the random fb friends because I do not have any personal connection with them, but how do I scare the ones I know off without sounding rude and unhelping? I know that when you stop giving, you become an enemy.
Help! Before a fellow nairalander runs amock on the streets of America because of pressure from Nigeria

Thanks

astrodome:
Help!! Friends, family, former school mates and others are killing me with financial demands. Everyday I receive facebook (fb) messages, phone calls, email messages and messages from other communication avenues from family members, friends close and distant, school mates I have not seen in 20 years but with whom I reconnected on fb, and even random fb friends (meaning I do not know them personally but somehow we managed to be friends on fb). They all have the same story: please send me money, anything.

Each month I send nearly 3k to Nigeria and they keep asking for more.

Do they think I pluck money from trees in America?
Do they think every Nigerian in America is doing drugs or credit card fraud to make money?
Are they thinking that since Akin or Emeka made it in America (in many cases by selling drugs and doing credit card fraud), I should also make it and therefore be able to satisfy their unending demands?

How do I explain to them that I have bills (auto, mortgage, water-sewer, electricity, gas, phone, credit card) to pay. And then I have to run my family (of 4) and fuel 2 cars, and on top of that, I have to save also for the rainy day - for when kids get to college.

I am able to resist the random fb friends because I do not have any personal connection with them, but how do I scare the ones I know off without sounding rude and unhelping? I know that when you stop giving, you become an enemy.
Help! Before a fellow nairalander runs amock on the streets of America because of pressure from Nigeria

Just for disclosure: I am well-heeled in the US mid-upper middle class, earning a 6-figure pay, holds a PhD, and involved in R4D activities. But I live in a US city (name withheld) where mortgage payment alone takes 25% of my monthly income. So you can imagine that after paying all bills, I do not have tons of money left over to give out on frequent basis.

Please advise on how to handle this, Naija style . Thanks

StOla:


The problem is posting their demands till the next month.

I have made expenses of over N500K to benefit others just this month because I got some allowances. For this reason I was unable to service a debt of N200K that I owe.

Thinking I was done with magnanimity for the month, another dude had to source me out from no where telling me all his life issues. Obviously I wasn't liquid enough, guess what? I had to promise a token from my next pay check I'm yet to earn.

When will my next pay check come with all the money belonging to me? A lot is already shared to the needy before you even earn it.
I just deprive myself of all the good stuff I should have, so as to care for others.

Sometimes I want to cry. It is really depressing at times.

I barely like comments or pictures on social media anymore. It only puts me back in the consciousness of those I would rather they forget about me.

BabyDaddy20:

$15 * 15 hour per day is how much ??
Multiply it by 5 days a week
What's your answer ??
Then multiply your answer by 4 weeks a month.
Do you know if i do other jobs ??


Do you also know the nature of the jobs i do ??

Jarus:


Lol @ this strategy.

Makes sense.

I'm not so good at saying NO too. What I do is ignore. I hardly pick calls, don't reply facebook PM etc.

As a young man that justed started working in Lagos years back, my father xmas disposition landed me in serious financial crisis.

Now, other than my parents, a couple of siblings,family members once in a while, I no dey share money anyhow again o

I don't even pick calls, as I know 90% of calls from certain people are to ask for money which I find difficult to turn down.

This doesn't however mean I don't give. I actually do, probably more than an average person, but I've become very selective.

I strongly believe "it took a whole village to raise a child" so that child must give back to the "village" (I.e family). As a student in school, I know how I also taxed my brothers and uncles.

bebe2:


family of four,

that means 2kids.

ayusco85:


you are just so daft and u have an empty skull.

astrodome:
I just dropped the phone a few minutes ago after speaking with one of these old friends, got very angry after telling me he lives in Adamawa (Boko Haram) and needs money to relocate to his state of origin. This coming after I sent $700, respectively to a sister and a sister-inlaw this am

Dem wan kill me?

adepiero:
We Nigerians are leeches, some of us find it hard to help ourselves instead we look for a Messiah in form of a friend or relative that can solve all our problems especially FINANCIAL

Its even better for you that is living abroad but for those loving in Nigeria, it is hell reason being that you can decide to disconnect from them bit for those here, where you wan go wey them no go find you? And once you turn them down, you automatically become an enemy.
[color=#006600][/color]

This false and hasty generalisation (We Nigerians are leeches) is a very serious offence and an insult to all Nigerians because I don't believe ALL Nigerians are beggers neither do I believe that this trait is not universal. Please be objectively constructive in whatever you say because you might indirectly and inadvertently offend others


Bit the question I always ask myself is that why can't they be contented with whatever they have or strive to get more instead of begging!

Bro, you are not alone jare but you still have to give at some point so it counts as Charity

ice25:
LEARN TO SAY NO..IT WILL SAVE YOU A LOT OF TROUBLE.....

drnoel:


We all have the same problem. U are not the only NLer that earns 6 figures. U don't see us crying openy. Take it like a man and stop ur fake tears. One thing I tell friends that have similar complaint is this. In ur bead to please everyone, u displease urself. I mean u know where it pinches u and sending money to people in Nigeria is not one of them.

astrodome:
I just dropped the phone a few minutes ago after speaking with one of these old friends, got very angry after telling me he lives in Adamawa (Boko Haram) and needs money to relocate to his state of origin. This coming after I sent $700, respectively to a sister and a sister-inlaw this am

Dem wan kill me?

Lacomus:
clap for thy self grey mattered lad

Kizyte:

My bad! Maybe I got no time to understand well

kittykat1:


I used to be like you u until I realized that those I have had more money than me. Also I had a period of financial crisis. Guess what everyone ran away. I went back to subzero. When I came back up, I had to borrow sense and start saving. Every month, I put 60% of my income in an investment account. Try standard e-savers or high investment account, diamond back also has a similar saving package. What I have left to pay my bills and survive is 40%. If change remain from that I help. If it doesn't remain, I tell them I don't have.