Adamsdelrio:
Everything you are about to read is absolutely true. I seriously need your advice on this issue before I do something I will regret

. I completed my academic recently and I traveled to my uncle's house, on his invitation to look for a job. My mother was against my journey to my uncle's house because she knew that his wife is going to cause me a lot of trouble. I didn't listen to her because I believe I'm a big boy and I can take care of myself in any unfavourable condition.


With great excitement, I arranged my things and headed straight for the longest journey of my life. We travelled for about 9-10hrs! I've never traveled that long. I got to my destination without any stress..


Don't let me bore you with a long story. Ever since I got here, it's been from one trouble to another with my uncle's wife. She complains about everything I do. If I touch anything in the house, she will surely has something bad to say about it. She's so over censorious about anything that concerns me in the house. Sometimes when I'm watching a programme on TV, she will just come and switch it off or change the channel. There are 3 functioning TV in the house but it's the one I'm watching that she likes tampering with.


There was a day she repeated the same thing and I became angry. I couldn't take it that day so I told her about what she's doing. She told me what I will never forget in a hurry that day. She said 'This is my house and I can do and undo'. I was angry that day and I talked back at her. She reported me to my uncle that day. I apologised to her without countering any of her lies because I don't want to disrespect my uncle by arguing with his wife at his presence.


She's been doing a lot of things to provoke me in the house but I always keep quiet. She's a very good liar and a troublemaker. She does all these things when her husband is not around and I don't want to report her to her husband because it's going to look as if I'm bringing trouble into the family. Please, I need your advice. How can I live peacefully with the woman?

dazekid:




See these fools sha. How the f*** is she right If it is her husband's house, how does that mean "she can do and undo"? This is what happens when good men fall and decide to marry prostitutes such as the two morons quoted. B**ches who don't even know what sibling love is and who don't even have the common sense of living peacefully with younger people for that matter. See their mouth like "quietly take anything she throws at you". *spits*.

cyprus000:


[size=13pt]


This is the kind of attitude you should emulate,cos its evident that you subcribe to the bullshit she is administering to him.

for the fact you own a house,doesn't give you the leverage to make som1's life miserable.

Karma is a bittch,I hope you know.



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angieberry:
Truth hurts. It's her house and she can do and undo. Get used to that fact. It's just a pity she's abusing her position and making the young man's life miserable. He doesn't have any choice but to take her shit.
And I believe cussing me out was not necessary. You can make your point without being so crass. You're lucky I'm in a good mood.

EazyMoh:
this is very common in Hausa families because a lot of people have step mums. if the kids mum is divorced or late that's when it gets really uncomfortable for the kid.
but on your case, you are a grown up man! if you can't leave the house stay out of her way! stop watching the TV! Stop supervising her activities, because you will never win this battle. use your laptop to watch what you want to watch, or play games on your phone. the house will never be comfortable for you. trust me I have been there.

FxDuke:
falling in love with ones husband sibling is gross! just like doing it to your own blood... an abominable act

Gurgle:


do hausa women divorce or die earlier than their southern counterparts?!

HiGod:


Jeeez!!!daughter of Jezebel everywhere you go..... Can someone tell this girl to shut her mouth and keep that repulsive advice to herself.

Let's turn the table around and see what your response would be. If the husband was the one treating his wife brother like this, I believe that your advice would be different from this.

Young man, I have been in this situation before and here was what i did in my little wisdom then. I called my uncle one on one and opened up to him; I told him what usually happened whenever he wasn't at home and begged him to leave his wife out of it by not picking issues with his wife. I begged him to have a chat with his wife on my behalf.

He did and my life took a new turn completely after that....... We(wife and myself) later became pals

EazyMoh:

Absolutely! Divorce is like 50% higher in Hausa land than in the south, simply because it just takes "I divorce you" from the husband to render the marriage dissolved. it's very common to see a woman who married 3, 5 or more husbands in her life, with kids scattered around.
and yeah women die more in the North than south, no thanks to maternal deaths.
BTW am beginning to like engaging you.

Gurgle:


Really

that's terrible. has it always been like that? is there much stigma for divorced women?

But I haven't heard of this happening in other Islamic countries/areas?

have we spoken before??

EazyMoh:

there is no stigma, some bachelors even marry divorcees or widows.
it's happening in Hausa land simply because of the cheapness of arranging a marriage, especially in the rural areas.
yeah we met on one silly thread like that.

Gurgle:


Hmm ok

but I have watched a few kannywoods and they tend to depict divorced women as very loose, looking for men whose lives they can ruin

is it that cheap? you guys get married in style mehn theres a wedding on youtube I sometimes watch of 2 Cameroonian hausas getting married

the amount of cloth they were dropping on this girl's head eeeehn

EazyMoh:

lol, Kannywood movies show almost nothing realistic about Hausa land, most of them are Indian movies with Hausa spoken. I wouldn't recommend them to anyone.
Of course there are the rich ones that spend a lot on weddings. but about 50% of Hausa land weddings cost less than 100k everything put together.

Gurgle:


Ok. but why are they like that? indian I mean. what has india got to do with hausaland

EazyMoh:

well it's something that dates back centuries ago. As part of the extended Islamic Empire from western China all the way to west Africa and traders bring about a contact between all these places. Hausa people view Indians as the epitome of beauty, so they imitate them. with the advent of films, indian movies are the primary and most thought after movies in Hausaland, the result is now Kannywood, from dressing, dialogue, combat, dance, songs even the storyline.

Gurgle:


Ok

I listen to a lot of Hausa music and it always strikes me that they alter their voices so they will sound higher and more like they do in Indian films.

I would have thought that they would prefer to imitate Arabs rather than Indians but I guess the arab film industry is still in development

dazekid:




See these fools sha. How the f*** is she right If it is her husband's house, how does that mean "she can do and undo"? This is what happens when good men fall and decide to marry prostitutes such as the two morons quoted. B**ches who don't even know what sibling love is and who don't even have the common sense of living peacefully with younger people for that matter. See their mouth like "quietly take anything she throws at you". *spits*.

angieberry:
Don't misinterprete me. I don't approve of her making the young man miserable. My point is, there is nothing he can do but to put up with her rubbish or to leave the house.

angieberry:
The truth is like pepper
Your reaction has just validated my point 100 percent
Let it pepper ]you very well, my advise is still the best one he could take
You can take your anger and your peppered self into the lagoon

SlimBrawnie:
Just pray for direction and wisdom... Not easy living in someone else's house.

Vanquay:
Life doesn't work like that. If someone is of no use to me I cut them off

I'll keep you in my dreams

praizbenjamin:

unless u qo thru a do or die situation, u won't understand the importance of family..i'll keep u in my prayers

Adamsdelrio:
Everything you are about to read is absolutely true. I seriously need your advice on this issue before I do something I will regret

. I completed my academic recently and I traveled to my uncle's house, on his invitation to look for a job. My mother was against my journey to my uncle's house because she knew that his wife is going to cause me a lot of trouble. I didn't listen to her because I believe I'm a big boy and I can take care of myself in any unfavourable condition.


With great excitement, I arranged my things and headed straight for the longest journey of my life. We travelled for about 9-10hrs! I've never traveled that long. I got to my destination without any stress..


Don't let me bore you with a long story. Ever since I got here, it's been from one trouble to another with my uncle's wife. She complains about everything I do. If I touch anything in the house, she will surely has something bad to say about it. She's so over censorious about anything that concerns me in the house. Sometimes when I'm watching a programme on TV, she will just come and switch it off or change the channel. There are 3 functioning TV in the house but it's the one I'm watching that she likes tampering with.


There was a day she repeated the same thing and I became angry. I couldn't take it that day so I told her about what she's doing. She told me what I will never forget in a hurry that day. She said 'This is my house and I can do and undo'. I was angry that day and I talked back at her. She reported me to my uncle that day. I apologised to her without countering any of her lies because I don't want to disrespect my uncle by arguing with his wife at his presence.


She's been doing a lot of things to provoke me in the house but I always keep quiet. She's a very good liar and a troublemaker. She does all these things when her husband is not around and I don't want to report her to her husband because it's going to look as if I'm bringing trouble into the family. Please, I need your advice. How can I live peacefully with the woman?