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Breaking Up With Someone You Love - Romance - Nairaland

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Breaking Up With Someone You Love by C2H5OH(f): 11:01pm On Mar 24, 2009
Peep this

"  I met a stunningly beautiful and charismatic girl about two and a half years ago. We had a really intense relationship that lasted for 3 months until I broke it off because I knew it wouldn't last. Although we shared great chemistry and physical attraction, there were problems early on that led me to believe that if things did not improve, I could not keep on going with the relationship.

I didn't want either of us to get too attached, so I ended things after I was certain it woudn't work.  I still am certain that the baggage and our differences in views would have ended the relationship later if we had continued. Despite that fact, I had strong feelings for her at the time of the breakup and realize that I still am in love with her after two and a half years. She was my first and only love.

Does it make more sense to break up with someone you have strong feelings for because the relationship wasn't working, or do you wait until the problems become unbearable and your feelings change to make a break? 
When both parties are still in love, how do you cope with leaving someone and find closure?   "

The source
Re: Breaking Up With Someone You Love by Nobody: 11:08pm On Mar 24, 2009
Point of thread?

Plz
Re: Breaking Up With Someone You Love by Secretz(f): 11:15pm On Mar 24, 2009
well, I think it's better to end the relationship earlier on if you believe you are CERTAIN it will not work. The longer you would have left it the harder it may have become to leave!

But I don't know why you are still having these strong feelings for her to this day. Maybe your issues were not as serious as you thought!

Abeg!!! Get over it!
Re: Breaking Up With Someone You Love by tnk24: 5:58am On Mar 25, 2009
You broke up with her for a reason. Since there was no future for that relationship, you took one of two options available to you.
It's normal to break up with somebody you love, especially when it becomes the best thing to do.
Re: Breaking Up With Someone You Love by Gabry(f): 7:35am On Mar 25, 2009
SIGH. . . No comment sad
Re: Breaking Up With Someone You Love by eyonigger(m): 9:09am On Mar 25, 2009
I am expert in that aspect, breaking up with some1 I love when I know it aint working out.Its better that way, coz if u carry along with the relationship, u get more attached to the gurl day by day,@ the end everything ends, you'll be the one to face the music, cos u have piled up too many feelings and emotions when u were suppose to have broken up with her. You did the right thing, and its not wrong that ur still feeling the love u got 4 the gurl. Just try n get over it, period.
Re: Breaking Up With Someone You Love by bridget007(f): 2:35pm On Mar 25, 2009
If you're certain it won't work yes but i know how you feel.
Re: Breaking Up With Someone You Love by Czarskit(m): 8:14pm On Mar 25, 2009
Certainty of Man. . . *Yawns*
Re: Breaking Up With Someone You Love by Nobody: 8:18pm On Mar 25, 2009
eyonigger:

I am expert in that aspect, breaking up with some1 I love when I know it aint working out.Its better that way, coz if u carry along with the relationship, u get more attached to the gurl day by day,@ the end everything ends, you'll be the one to face the music, cos u have piled up too many feelings and emotions when u were suppose to have broken up with her. You did the right thing, and its not wrong that ur still feeling the love u got 4 the gurl. Just try n get over it, period.
Definately.
Re: Breaking Up With Someone You Love by Hollysmile: 10:31pm On Mar 25, 2009
Moderator, where's my last thread on dis particular topic?
Me no like dis kain pasha oh!
Re: Breaking Up With Someone You Love by ThoniaSlim(f): 6:57am On Mar 27, 2009
Sometimes in order for us to grow we have to let go of the things we love. especially if we know those things don't contribute to our lives in a positive way.

I had to break up with someone i loved because i didn't see a future with him and he wasn't contributing to my life in any meaningful way. Its not that i wanted to do it, but that was just the best thing to do in order to grow. . .and am i better off now. . .am glad i did it.
Re: Breaking Up With Someone You Love by MrCrackles(m): 7:01am On Mar 27, 2009
ThoniaSlim:

Sometimes in order for us to grow we have to let go of the things we love. especially if we know those things don't contribute to our lives in a positive way.

I had to break up with someone i loved because i didn't see a future with him and he wasn't contributing to my life in any meaningful way. Its not that i wanted to do it, but that was just the best thing to do in order to grow. . .and am i better off now. . .am glad i did it.

Uhmmmmm!
Re: Breaking Up With Someone You Love by whitelexi(m): 8:55am On Mar 27, 2009
Whats the point in breaking up if u love the person??
Re: Breaking Up With Someone You Love by bridget007(f): 9:54am On Mar 27, 2009
@ whitelexi, cos u love them but they can hurt you, treat you bad and damage you even when they tell you they love you. Sometimes you have to let go or the love will kill you in the end.
Re: Breaking Up With Someone You Love by ThoniaSlim(f): 7:40pm On Mar 27, 2009
@MrCrackles

what's with the uhmmmmm?
Re: Breaking Up With Someone You Love by uchchu: 9:19pm On Mar 28, 2009
ThoniaSlim:

Sometimes in order for us to grow we have to let go of the things we love. especially if we know those things don't contribute to our lives in a positive way.

I had to break up with someone i loved because i didn't see a future with him and he wasn't contributing to my life in any meaningful way. Its not that i wanted to do it, but that was just the best thing to do in order to grow. . .and am i better off now. . .am glad i did it.


Sometimes what we think is love is infatuation. I had that experience. Met this guy when I was in my teens. Somehow we drifted. Met him again after 10years. We got close and I regretted meeting him again. His character is terrible: he has a bad temper, blames his shortcomings on his family, lives like a pig, leaves in one room in a nasty apartment, snores and talks about his secrets while asleep. For the short while we were together I always cried cos I wasted ten years thinking about him. He never knew why I cried.
Thank God its over because it opened my eyes to see the lovely, handsome guy that has been proposing for two yrs now. I didnt waste time to say yes after I parted with my 'so called LOVE' and the wedding is this Christmas.
Re: Breaking Up With Someone You Love by ThoniaSlim(f): 3:25pm On Mar 29, 2009
yea. . .your story made so much sense. . .wish some peeps who waste their time waiting for the so-called old love could read this. . . am glad you happy now girl. kiss
Re: Breaking Up With Someone You Love by IFELEKE(m): 3:43pm On Mar 29, 2009
There is more to love and loving than mere chemistry of bodies or ecstasy of orgasm.
If you feel it aint working then the earlier you break it off and move on the better for you.
Re: Breaking Up With Someone You Love by iice(f): 5:09pm On Mar 29, 2009
ThoniaSlim:

Sometimes in order for us to grow we have to let go of the things we love. especially if we know those things don't contribute to our lives in a positive way.

I had to break up with someone i loved because i didn't see a future with him and he wasn't contributing to my life in any meaningful way. Its not that i wanted to do it, but that was just the best thing to do in order to grow. . .and am i better off now. . .am glad i did it.

I kinda agree.

IFELEKE:

There is more to love and loving than mere chemistry of bodies or ecstasy of orgasm.
If you feel it aint working then the earlier you break it off and move on the better for you.
gbam!
Re: Breaking Up With Someone You Love by topup: 2:11am On Mar 30, 2009
I went on the link to the site where this topic was originally raised and a lot of people said that what the guy did was a better thing than letting the relationship continue dragging along, yet others were confused why he ended something because he was scared of how the relationship could deteriorate. Most couldn't understand because with hindsight, the guy's left with the shudda couldda wouldda.

My personal opinion is that he would have been better off trying to work out the problems than running away from them, as the problems themselves had not begun, he was just predicting that they were going to be there in future. If the relationship had deteriorated, I don't think it would have been difficult for him to break off the relationship AND he would be able to justify what he did. But you never know, he could have worked things through then regretted not leaving earlier. I personally would choose to work things through because it's easier on my conscience that way.

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