hebenezher:
kinda much pals. here's is what I'm going through: we had a misunderstanding, the cause really was that I didn't call her just for a whole day, she normally seems to get upset and tryna avoid me whenever I behave as if of don't have her time. so I called late in the night around 10pm, her phone rang and the next thing she did is switched off her phone. then the second day around 12pm she so my me an sms, but I replied her with a blasting text, which I told her I'm different from other guys that follow her around like pigs, that I trully love her, but if she wants to be behaving like, then to hell with love and told her that to hell with whatever she stands for, actually I insulted her cause that wasn't the first time she did what she did. after all these, she called I didn't pick, then she text me on whatsapp saying "thanks for the message, that she loves it" especially the "to hell with whatever she stands for, that was why she called. I ignored the message and gave her of a week, I decided to get her upset and upload females pictures and status inserting other femAles names. which I think got her angry, she started updating status saying she doesn't care about, nagging all sort. so yesterday I typed her, she didn't reply, then I asked why she ignored it she asked if it hurts, I said No. pals, she's been behaving stupidly, updating males name on her status and uploading pictures with her male friends, she's really doing shit presently. avoiding me. I decided to ask if the relationship is still on or has ended. guys, she wouldn't reply to that question instead she will twist it and says she's busy.. I'm tired, I love her.. the way she's behaving might just make me move on with someone else, which of don't wish to.. while chatting with her, she update a status saying, "have you ever looked at someone and just gets annoyed? " I'm just Know what to do. whenever I tell her to stop all these, she asks whether it's hurting me or not. well, av decided to leave whatsapp and let her do her shit for sometimes.. I mean she's too arrogant, she plays mind games, she's from Benin. while this fight is ongoing she told me, I'm fun to chat with but not fun to be with, cause I'm already getting upset with her on whatsapp. I need advice pals, whether to ignore her and move on. moreover, she told me, she didn't get hurt while I was behaving that way, but she does get hurt I know, I've given given her several excuses, but she's adamant on behaving that way. advice please

I would like to know your age and hers as well as the duration of the affair.

Thanks

stjudas:
Good day people. I am a Corps member of 2015 batch A. I have a girlfriend in her third year in school. Sincerely, I love her but she's hell bent on getting married. I am far from ready and there is this guy she dated few years back for few months before he traveled to India. This guy is really disturbing my girl, promising to marry her as soon as he returns to Nigeria next month. In fact, Dec. 30 has been scheduled for Introduction. Now my problem isn't her leaving me, but for the wrong person. I suspect he's a very bad guy and would make her cry. I tried convincing her to wait for better man even if it wasn't going to be me that all I cared about was her happiness. So, fellow Nairalanders how do I convince her and what way is best to go about this? Below is a message I sent her on Facebook and all she replied was "thank you," and soon she called me and started crying. I inquired why she was crying but she said she doesn't know and hung up. Pls, no insults. Don't tell me I should be thinking of how to get a job or start a small business 'cause it's all in my plans. Your contributions will be appreciated. Thanks.
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JUST BEFORE DECEMBER 30.

Bury this little piece in your heart, I took my time to write it for you. It's no cynicism so don't get it twisted. Marriage is a lifetime commitment; once you're in, you're in. Don't ignore the warning signals, it could be very fatal.

1. COURT HIM AGAIN: Don't assume he's the cool guy you use to know. Try courting him for 8 to 12 months before you tie the knot. Remember, he's been outside the country, gathered a handful of experiences and the resultant of this experiences will greatly determine his new personality, either for better or for worse. Ignoring or failing to take this one step is worst of all things you would ever do.

2. BE SURE OF WHAT HE DOES:
Go beyond your emotions and look with your mind's eyes. Can you trust what he tells you he does for a living? Have you sought an answer to these questions: How does he send his goods to Nigeria? Who receives the bales of clothes he sends in and who sells them and how does he get his money back? Through PayPal, Western Money Union Transfer or what? Investigate to be sure it's true.
When he's not sending clothes to Nigeria what does he do? Does he have a part-time job or own a business in India? If a part-time time job, what's the name of the company he works for and what position does he occupy. What are his job functions? If he owns a business, what kind.
Ask him how much he makes and see if it's in coherence with how much you think he's worth. Ask him these question and many more you can think of in quick succession, with that aura of intelligence of one who works with the FBI. Don't give him a chance to think! Just quickly throw the questions at him.
Observe if he's nervous or cool when giving answers. Compare all the information he provides with your previous knowledge of him and make your judgement. Trust your intuition!

3. PROMISES MAY NEVER BE FULFILLED:
Yes, he promised to make you Manager of his current business so he could move into importation of automobile spare parts. Be sure he will do this. Never you assume or just believe, it's not the Gospel after all. Compel him (though you do not have the right to) to start, maybe, a smaller business for you. If he cheerfully does, it could be an indicator that he will do bigger things. Do you still remember what the Bible says: He that is faithful in little is faithful in much.

4. DISCUSS THE MARGINS:
You are a woman, I believe, with dreams and goals. A savvy young girl poised for greatness, whose primary function as a wife is not to mop the floor, wash dishes, cook good foods and make babies. You've got a career life and a margin should be drawn between it and your marital life. I also believe you got goals to accomplish before you turn 30. Ask him how he intends to help you achieve those goals.

5. NEVER GIVE IN TO PRESSURE:
I understand the pressure by the African society on her girl child in getting married. It isn't your last chance, Baby. You are beautiful, intelligent and people tend to like you. You know this. I remember you once told me, "I no be bad market." Appreciate yourself and never take that step except you are sure you want to. The future holds a lot.

6. YOUR DAD, YOUR COUNSELOR:
I have not had the opportunity to meet with any of your parents, but somehow from what I have learned, dad is shrewder than mum (I'm not a diviner. It's just an opinion. I could be wrong). Discuss your man with him expressing the fears and confidence you have in him (your man), I'm sure he (dad) will have something very useful to tell you. Never ignore his advice.

7. AFTER THE WEDDING:
Don't get married to a ghost who will leave you for another woman in an unknown country for years in the guise of searching for endless business opportunities. I know of a victim, my mum’s best friend, then. She got married to a man, a US Naval Officer, in Owerri, in December 2001. The wedding was the talk of town as cash was lavished. The young man traveled back to the States early February 2002 promising her to come see her once in a while. The lady pleaded to go with him but he insisted that it won't be necessary as he plans to return home and start up a new life with her soon. He traveled back and that's all the lady and my mum saw of him. You think he could be dead? NO! He was seen shopping in Las Vegas in early 2013 by one of the friends of the lady who attended the wedding and had traveled to the city.

8. THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT:
I don't have anything much to say here. It is your life, your decision. Always be true to yourself and your findings about him. Remember to trust your judgement. Your decision is ultimate.

Consider the eight points critically before December 30. I wish you the best marriage can offer. I love you. Have a nice day.

If i may ask bro,what is stopping you from getting married to her?

It is ok to write all these to her but the question is..are you ready to marry her?

If you propose to her right now will she say yes?

There is really no right choice or bad choice of spouse but what we have is our choice and once we make that choice we must face the consequence.

The fact that you are a corper or still searching for job or source of livelihood is no excuse AS LONG AS SHE DOES NOT MIND.

Just get a roof over your head,go to her people for a small introduction and engagement ceremony,and proceed to registry then meticulously build your lives together and once the money starts rolling in do a befitting wedding ceremony.

If you know you don't love her enough to take this bold step i suggest you let her follow her heart and live with her choice.

My humble advice

Toks2008:


If i may ask bro,what is stopping you from getting married to her?

It is ok to write all these to her but the question is..are you ready to marry her?

If you propose to her right now will she say yes?

There is really no right choice or bad choice of spouse but what we have is our choice and once we make that choice we must face the consequence.

The fact that you are a corper or still searching for job or source of livelihood is no excuse AS LONG AS SHE DOES NOT MIND.

Just get a roof over your head,go to her people for a small introduction and engagement ceremony,and proceed to registry then meticulously build your lives together and once the money starts rolling in do a befitting wedding ceremony.

If you know you don't love her enough to take this bold step i suggest you let her follow her heart and live with her choice.

My humble advice

Nice one oga toks.

The babe get sense die, she no wan continue to dey fool herself for one regberegbe relationship wey no get head.

Toks2008:

I would like to know your age and hers as well as the duration of the affair.
Thanks

I'm 20 she's 18.. we have been together now for a month or 2

hebenezher:
kinda much pals. here's is what I'm going through: we had a misunderstanding, the cause really was that I didn't call her just for a whole day, she normally seems to get upset and tryna avoid me whenever I behave as if of don't have her time. so I called late in the night around 10pm, her phone rang and the next thing she did is switched off her phone. then the second day around 12pm she so my me an sms, but I replied her with a blasting text, which I told her I'm different from other guys that follow her around like pigs, that I trully love her, but if she wants to be behaving like, then to hell with love and told her that to hell with whatever she stands for, actually I insulted her cause that wasn't the first time she did what she did. after all these, she called I didn't pick, then she text me on whatsapp saying "thanks for the message, that she loves it" especially the "to hell with whatever she stands for, that was why she called. I ignored the message and gave her of a week, I decided to get her upset and upload females pictures and status inserting other femAles names. which I think got her angry, she started updating status saying she doesn't care about, nagging all sort. so yesterday I typed her, she didn't reply, then I asked why she ignored it she asked if it hurts, I said No. pals, she's been behaving stupidly, updating males name on her status and uploading pictures with her male friends, she's really doing shit presently. avoiding me. I decided to ask if the relationship is still on or has ended. guys, she wouldn't reply to that question instead she will twist it and says she's busy.. I'm tired, I love her.. the way she's behaving might just make me move on with someone else, which of don't wish to.. while chatting with her, she update a status saying, "have you ever looked at someone and just gets annoyed? " I'm just Know what to do. whenever I tell her to stop all these, she asks whether it's hurting me or not. well, av decided to leave whatsapp and let her do her shit for sometimes.. I mean she's too arrogant, she plays mind games, she's from Benin. while this fight is ongoing she told me, I'm fun to chat with but not fun to be with, cause I'm already getting upset with her on whatsapp. I need advice pals, whether to ignore her and move on. moreover, she told me, she didn't get hurt while I was behaving that way, but she does get hurt I know, I've given given her several excuses, but she's adamant on behaving that way. advice please

Thanks for the additional info.

Now you need to understand that the job lies with you at least for now until she outgrows her teenage excesses.

She is 18 and its so expected of her to be very erratic as this nature is very peculiar to teenagers.

The teenage brain is hungry for stimulation. But there is an unprecedented amount of it in today’s world, maybe more than ever. Because teenagers lack access to their frontal lobes, using their judgement to say: “I’ve had enough” or “I need to stop and do something else” is still a weakness for them and this is the basis for their impulsive behaviour – they’re not planning ahead. Their priorities are not as common sense as they will become over time hence will do outlandish things to make you mad without really reading any meanings to these things and to them they are having a swell time catching fun.

So as a guy of 20 you must understand that you are just a little above the adolescent age and you must learn to be more matured,subtle and understanding in the affair.

Ignore her excesses and guide her calmly and patiently.Do not heat up arguments or do/say stuffs that will be aggravating and trust me, in another year or two she will come to appreciate your mature disposition and thank you for making her more matured.

This is why i always advocate for wider gaps in age difference for teenage girls and ladies in very early twenties and the guy they are seeing so that the presumed maturity of the guy will balance the possible immaturity of the lady but then as they say,age is not really a factor when there is true affection between two people.

Hope this helps

mcodedprof:
I really need to know if its godly for married couples to suck their privates while having good times on the bed.
What do yo feel about this

Within the confines of marriage you can do absolutely warrever both of you are comfortable with and i mean WARREVER.

Now read this:

What does the Bible say about MouthAction?"

Answer: MouthAction, also known as “cunnilingus” when performed on females and “MouthAction” when performed on males, is not mentioned in the Bible. There are two primary questions that are asked in regards to MouthAction: (1) “is MouthAction a sin if done before marriage?” and (2) “is MouthAction a sin if done within a marriage?” While the Bible does not specifically address either question, there are definitely biblical principles that apply.

Is MouthAction a sin if done before or outside of marriage?

This question is becoming increasingly common as young people are told that “MouthAction is not really sex,” and as MouthAction is promoted as a safer (no risk of pregnancy, less risk of sexually transmitted diseases*) alternative to sexual intercourse. What does the Bible say? Ephesians 5:3 declares, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity...because these are improper for God's holy people.” The biblical definition of “immorality” is “any form of sexual contact outside of marriage” (1 Corinthians 7:2). According to Hebrews 13:4, only the “marriage bed” is pure and undefiled. According to the Bible, sex is to be reserved for marriage. Period. So, yes, MouthAction is a sin if done before or outside of marriage.


Is MouthAction a sin if done within a marriage?

Many, perhaps most, Christian married couples have had this question. What makes it difficult is the fact that the Bible nowhere says what is allowed or disallowed sexually between a husband and wife, other than, of course, any sexual activity that involves another person (swapping, threesomes, etc.) or that involves lusting after another person (pornography). Outside of these two restrictions, the principle of “mutual consent” would seem to apply (1 Corinthians 7:5). While this text specifically deals with abstaining from sex/frequency of sex, “mutual consent” is a good concept to apply universally in regards to sex within marriage. Whatever is done, it should be fully agreed on between the husband and his wife. Neither spouse should be forced or coerced into doing something he/she is not completely comfortable with. If MouthAction is done within the confines of marriage and in the spirit of mutual consent, there is not a biblical case for declaring it to be a sin.

In summary, MouthAction before marriage is absolutely a sin. It is immoral. It is in no sense a biblically acceptable alternative to sexual intercourse for unmarried couples. Within the confines of marriage, MouthAction is free from sin as long as there is mutual consent.

Hope this helps

As far as i am concerned,every part of my wife's body will be my sweetest lollypop

Kulas:
Hello NL,i noticed that i was having sex,real one with all the bouncing in and out.It was when my wife woke me up and ask me what is happening(may be the noise attracted her attention) that i m fucking in the dream.That was when i now woke up and realized that it was in dream,i thought it was real( in phyical).Please have anybody noticed this kind thing before,and what can be the cause and the solution as i dont like such.

While in Nigeria we often attribute spiritsm to having sex in the dream but in my school of taught its mostly a figment of our subliminal mind activities at work.

A sex starved man is prone to dream sex likewise an hungry man is likely to dream about eating in the dream.

"Occasionally, women and men may dream about someone they love or can't stand and are definitely not attracted to in real life. "Sexual feelings can be sparked by a range of emotions—including rage, which is a type of passion." And a passionate dream could signal feelings of anger—in real life—toward the subject of your dream. "It could mean you're angry at that person, and expressing your anger in your dream." But both say the bottom line is this: A dream is a dream. Don't get too hung up on it. "What's important is that women are able to separate their waking desires from their dreaming desires and know that their dreams don't have to dictate or suggest anything about their sex life so Shrug it off and move on.

If you decide to ask spiritualists then you should probably be ready to get reaped off when they ask you to start bringing this or that for deliverance.

Be as it may, if it keeps repeating itself then go for a spiritual counsel but for now just let it pass and pray to GOD against it.

emusmith:

Sub- Topic :How do married women whose husbands are in diaspora cope sexually?

Having heard how some women lament how their husbands have been in diaspora for years, I feel compassion for them and to think that they are not better than widows beat my imagination.

The average married women rather die than cheat especially if she is Christian and wouldn't give in to adultery.

This is quite logical, spiritual and emotional. Is there an exception to them?

What do you think? (Mature Contributions)

Self servicing is a rather complex matter.

The Bible is totally silent about this matter but then I always ask; when you masturbate, what do you think about? This is where the complexity sets in.

I really don’t think a single man or woman wil be thinking about a football game or a tractor when self servicing but probably about someone who he or she is not really married to which makes it lusting which translates to sin..

Married people who self service thinking about their hubby or wives may really be practicing a sinless act but I believe it will be unwholesome to self service thinking about an illicit sexual act.

Nevertheless, this subject remains one with strong debate where some believe that as long as actual sexual intercourse is not involved, it is sinless and harmless but this is my take on the matter.

Toks2008:


Self servicing is a rather complex matter.

The Bible is totally silent about this matter but then I always ask; when you masturbate, what do you think about? This is where the complexity sets in.

I really don’t think a single man or woman wil be thinking about a football game or a tractor when self servicing but probably about someone who he or she is not really married to which makes it lusting which translates to sin..

Married people who self service thinking about their hubby or wives may really be practicing a sinless act but I believe it will be unwholesome to self service thinking about an illicit sexual act.

Nevertheless, this subject remains one with strong debate where some believe that as long as actual sexual intercourse is not involved, it is sinless and harmless but this is my take on the matter.

You are mature, at least through your comment

.

bisifoundation:
I lived a very religious life in campus, and was not in any relationship at all. After school , I met this young handsome guy in 2006. Sincerely, I felt I didn’t not merit him because he is very handsome, while I am on the average beauty wise. The only thing that attracted me to him was the look. He was an hustler and lived a low income life. Throughout our courtship of 18months, He never gave me a dime. I came from a financially buoyant famiy, I therefore saw no need in asking him for anything, rather I was feeding him with three square meal. We got wedded in the year 2007, and I gave him the flower of my womanhood (virginity) but I was not really excited for just no reason.

My husband is a caring man, but nags a lot. He nags about the way I handle bathing soap, the way you arrange plates in kitchen, virtually everything. I most often skip for fear each time he wants to talk because I believe he wants to complain again.

I got a job before he did, but one thing I discover is that my husband spends his money without thinking about tomorrow and always depend on my salary to survive the family. In 2008, I gave birth to a set of triplet, and had to quit work to nurse my angels. He was very supportive then. He provided for all our needs and life was good. In 2012, my husband lost his job, I had to take over the family expenses again. I was running a masters degree program, doing many businesses, and still raising kids. I travelled every week in a bid to keep the family running. Each time, I complain about the stress I was passing through, he tells me I am lazy, that many women do more to sustain their families.

This is 2015, my husband prefers to allow me or my dad to pay the children tuition fee than for him to hustle. I am 100% responsible for the family upkeep. Every biz you introduce to my husband is downgrading to him. I am currently on my PHd degree, I am nursing a set of triplet, and still work hard to survive my family.

It is now that I realize that I married my husband because of his handsomeness, and that he is mentally very shallow. My husband thinks like a child and has virtually no plan for his family.

My simple advice for intending wives is this, looks (handsomeness or beauty) alone is not enough to choose a husband, marry a man that has great vision for his life, not the one that you will keep on dragging up.

Secondly, I believe my husband puts all the family responsibility on me because I was the one feeding him when we were dating. Please, let your guy know from day one that you need to be adored and taken care of like a beautiful flower.

To married men and women there, did you make some mistakes when choosing? Pls share with intending husbands and wives to help them make informed decision.

Hmmm,my lady i must confess that im indeed touched by your story and i can relate with every bit of it having been part of that institution called marriage or maybe because my own story is even a funny one else how do i explain the fact that a lady you spent 6years courting and 5 years of legal wedding suddenly coming up to say there was never anything like marriage all because of a sudden twist of situation but that is a story for another day.

Now i would like you to calm down and read my advice deeply and that is why i brought your post down here.

Woman first and foremost you must realize that there is nothing like a good ore bad choice of spouse but what we have is your choice and when you make that choice you must be prepared for any form of eventualities such as this.

A million years of courtship does not guaranty that the caring guy while dating will turn cold and just as you wrote up there,he was caring at a time asides from the nagging aspect which is a defect and trust me everyone has a defect including you and i.

I will not use the word unfortunately rather i will say fortunately for you the case is not the one that has to do with him sleeping around or beating you up which is a good ground for divorce so in this case please throw the taught of divorce outside the window.

Yes their are some businesses that are degrading fore a graduate no matter how profitable they may seem and there are some businesses that can totally divert the aspiration of a man so the fact that he knows the type of business or job he wants is not a bad thing but the bad side of it is not doing enough to actualize the business or job he desires.

Dear sis,you made no mistake in choosing a spouse,not at all, you simply followed your heart and you must know that every marriage is like a black market and no matter how sweet the courtship may look and no matter how caring sweet,romantic the man or woman can be,people do change and i know what i am talking about.

Your husband is not really lazy as you think,not every one of us has the hustling spirit and some of us would rather do a 40k monthly job and grow old with it while some of us will rather look for a poo business that makes huge monthly take home.

In conclusion dear,this is a cross you have to bear.Pray to GOD to provide him a job,be good to him, encourage him and trust me his heart will melt towards you.

With prayers i believe GOD will provide a way out and he will get back to his feet. Better still,sit him down and ask him what he would like to do because every man out there have a plan but the problem is not having enough financial power to actualize it.

If you can help him invest once again into a good business of his choice and i believe that most men usually become a shadow of themselves when they are in financial lack so relax, you have no issue at all. Just tune your mind to be happy and i must congratulate you for the wonderful gift GOD gave to you through this same man.

The best way to be happy in any marriage especially when you have children is to focus on the children and yourself and ignore the man if he is a philanderer but in this case,he only seem to appear to you as lazy but trust me, you just might be wrong,every man has his dream career,business or job. So help him actualize it by encouraging and praying for him and with GOD all things are possible.

GOD BLESS YOUR MARRIAGE.

what happens when a guy you've been dating seriously for some time decides to go cold on u 4 no reason?? it's getting to 2 months now since we've been apart without officially breaking up

Idydarling:
what happens when a guy you've been dating seriously for some time decides to go cold on u 4 no reason?? it's getting to 2 months now since we've been apart without officially breaking up

You have not really stated if something went wrong.

but All the same, are you into a distant relationship?
How often do you meet or communicate?
what kept the relationship going all along, are you still doing it or are you just waiting for him to initiate everything??

Take the steps and initiate communication, it must not be one sided, if he doesn't respond, then it wiould need a different diagnosis

Serious bro i tink u re one of d few better hv seen when it comes to relationship advice. and i must admit u rock da boat. i actually had it in mind to open such tread bt had to jettison it after seen hw majority of nairalanders behave. if u tink u wish for my opinion in advicing anyone dat seek relationship advice here pls just let me knw. toks2008

Cutehector:
lmao.. Not dat kind of spirit jooor.. I mean someone who monitors ur online activities all the time...

Buhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahah,jes love the lady in question and give her more attention,there is definitely no way of escape but love,heyaaa pele

prettysassygirl:

Buhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahah,jes love the lady in question and give her more attention,there is definitely no way of escape but love,heyaaa pele

Hope you have moved on with another guy sazzy.

QatarPlayboy:
Serious bro i tink u re one of d few better hv seen when it comes to relationship advice. and i must admit u rock da boat. i actually had it in mind to open such tread bt had to jettison it after seen hw majority of nairalanders behave. if u tink u wish for my opinion in advicing anyone dat seek relationship advice here pls just let me knw. toks2008

Thanks bro..

You are free to adviice anyone.Though i usually prefer someone who has been or still married for at least five years to offer any form of advice but then one needs not be married to be matured in matters of the heart.

Toks2008:

Hope you have moved on with another guy sazzy.

well lemme say,its in d offing

prettysassygirl:
well lemme say,its in d offing

Kai..ladies and their coded ways of answering direct questions lol
No wahala, wish you the best.

Toks2008:

Kai..ladies and their coded ways of answering direct questions lol
No wahala, wish you the best.

tanks my bros

Distance is driving me crazy,I pray he comes bk soon.

kazzamaks28:
Distance is driving me crazy,I pray he comes bk soon.

So is he back?

Hmm.....Nice work here @ o.p. There is a guy I ave had feelings for, for almost two years. met him in church though when he joined newly. I think he feels something for me(not sure though). We are in d same group in church. At first, when he came newly, we weren't really talking or close.... He is very handsome, just graduated. I was kinda not into him because I thought he was just like d other guys, d rich, handsome, pompous type. so I stayed away. Then, later on he joined my group in church, and as I got to know him a little I saw he wasnt really d pompous and selfish type. He was smart, intelligent, understanding,caring, and somehow I started falling for him at a distance cos we weren't close and it looked like he thought since I was pretty, I would probably be just like d other girls (ps:.am different), so we kinda avoided each other. To cut d long story short, as fate would ave it,after some month he started coming close to me, we started talking and getting to know each other, even as d attraction increased between us. although he never asked me out even though I know from his behavior DAT he feels something for me. Later on He was posted for his nysc and I went to school. we stayed away from each other, no calls, messages, etc. but even in school I still wanted to be with him, nd was refusing the advances of guys in school. After a year, he was done with his nysc and I was back from skul, I saw him in church and we got talking and stuffz, I thought after some times away from him, I will get over him, but it was d opposite. Summary of it all is DAT I don't even know if what I feel for him is love or not since ave never been in love..though I know am attracted to him. but beside DAT I always envision being with him in future cause he is d only one I have feelings for...and we are just friends, and from our history nd behavior, I think he cares about me....attracted too even though he tries to hide it...but he haven't said anything to me or asked me out...He just finished serving and works in a bank now and am in my 200level..... I know am not ready for marriage nd stuffs now....but my feelings for him(still don't know if its love) is eating me up nd am trying to get over him in order not to break my heart since he hasn't asked me out.... WHAT DO I DO? Sorry about the long boring story

Typing with ma phone,,,,still learning how to space....

There's this girl i like so much and ave made her know i like her by giving her attention and telling her i was thinking about her all day but i have not asked her out yet because i am scared of getting a NO mainly because of her attitude towards me.....Now here's whats killing me about her attitude*we talk alot on the phone and through texting and i sometimes go see her at her place but the thing is that she never starts a chat with me or call me and if i dont chat with her for a whole day she wouldn't bother sending a message but the moment i start a chat she texts back and we never run out of what to say*she doesn't feel the need to want to see me like i always do she has rejected my proposal to take her out about two times now and she has never visited me before though i have never asked her to.....OP pls advice me on what to do nxt cos i seem lost and dnt wanna take the wrong step that would jeopardize everything

Kweenesther:
Hmm.....Nice work here @ o.p. There is a guy I ave had feelings for, for almost two years. met him in church though when he joined newly. I think he feels something for me(not sure though). We are in d same group in church. At first, when he came newly, we weren't really talking or close.... He is very handsome, just graduated. I was kinda not into him because I thought he was just like d other guys, d rich, handsome, pompous type. so I stayed away. Then, later on he joined my group in church, and as I got to know him a little I saw he wasnt really d pompous and selfish type. He was smart, intelligent, understanding,caring, and somehow I started falling for him at a distance cos we weren't close and it looked like he thought since I was pretty, I would probably be just like d other girls (ps:.am different), so we kinda avoided each other. To cut d long story short, as fate would ave it,after some month he started coming close to me, we started talking and getting to know each other, even as d attraction increased between us. although he never asked me out even though I know from his behavior DAT he feels something for me. Later on He was posted for his nysc and I went to school. we stayed away from each other, no calls, messages, etc. but even in school I still wanted to be with him, nd was refusing the advances of guys in school. After a year, he was done with his nysc and I was back from skul, I saw him in church and we got talking and stuffz, I thought after some times away from him, I will get over him, but it was d opposite. Summary of it all is DAT I don't even know if what I feel for him is love or not since ave never been in love..though I know am attracted to him. but beside DAT I always envision being with him in future cause he is d only one I have feelings for...and we are just friends, and from our history nd behavior, I think he cares about me....attracted too even though he tries to hide it...but he haven't said anything to me or asked me out...He just finished serving and works in a bank now and am in my 200level..... I know am not ready for marriage nd stuffs now....but my feelings for him(still don't know if its love) is eating me up nd am trying to get over him in order not to break my heart since he hasn't asked me out.... WHAT DO I DO? Sorry about the long boring story

before I answer ur question, let me ask u dis. Have u tried to find out what's keepin him frm asking u out (secretly)?

No, I haven't....but I think he is this kind of person that thinks things thru before doing them,,,,,d only time he has given a hint was at a time I was chatting wit him last year online nd he said we were gonna go out for Xmas wen he is back from service 2 months later......but we ended up not going out.....tot maybe he forgot or didn't know how to ask me

Kweenesther:
No, I haven't....but I think he is this kind of person that thinks things thru before doing them,,,,,d only time he has given a hint was at a time I was chatting wit him last year online nd he said we were gonna go out for Xmas wen he is back from service 2 months later......but we ended up not going out.....tot maybe he forgot or didn't know how to ask me

owk, d thing is dat he likes u but not taking u serious for now maybe cos of fear of rejection cos generally rejection pains guys emotionally or lost interest in wooing cos past. So try and find out his past relationship.

it's my girl whom I met in school. I've made the mistake of letting her know how much I love her. actually when we started the relationship I toyed With her emotions alot. but now she's toying with mine cuz I made some unreasonable moves, we are both home presently... before she took me in. she told me she has a boyfriend at home, then if I make attempt of relenting, she starts coming after [trying to impress me] she said she love me, but she has a boyfriend at home. she accepted me aftermath. what I'm confused about is that, I'm a very hyper active dude, who get angry easily and then blast he/she who try rubbish with me.. I've blasted he'd severally, at the end of the day, I'll go back and apologize and she would take me in. something happened last week, some of the guys who approached her in which she declined him before she took me in, always ask from me, about our relationship. as a bad guy, I decided to form playboy, these are things I told him (1). if I wan Bleep the babe I go Bleep her (2). me just dey play her heart nii (3). I get other chicks Wey I dey control (4). the told me he'll tell her all these and Isaid to hell with him and her. cuz all those while, I was quarreling with her. it's do surprising that this guy went ahead and told the girl.. then the next day, I called her, and she started saying all those things, I apologized instantly, she told me "she's used to my anger" and she forgave me despite all those words. I observed something, whenever we have a misunderstanding, she starts uploading males pictures to get me upset, which I'll and will start trying to apologize. the advice I need is, I'm now the one doing the calling, how do I make her stop playing me and why could she have forgiven me despite all my statements. hope she isn't upto anything, cause she told me, that all these things I'm doing is because of the 1 grace that I've, which she refused to tell me. I'm confused. she has my mum's no, even my dad's own. she speaks with my siblings and my mum. advice please what could the grace be?

hmm.....So I shud give up on my feelings for him?

Kweenesther:
hmm.....So I shud give up on my feelings for him?

sorry for delay, not at all dear, try and find out abt his past relatnship. What's happening to me now might just be what's he going tru....

jaybee3:


Please help us beg

We desperately need something that will occupy uncle toks time which in turn will transcend to fewer romantic epistles

Eguzaktily