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If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by raayah(f): 2:53am On Sep 01, 2015
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Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by justmenoni: 3:56am On Sep 01, 2015
This is like the 10th time that I'm seeing this on Fp

quote author=ladyF post=37541117]Have I read this on FP before or is it just me?

Modified: Found the link...I even made FP there grin
https://www.nairaland.com/2538922/call-change-children-not-suffer

It's [size=20pt]LadyF[/size] again grin grin grin
[/quote]
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by ezekielplenty(m): 3:59am On Sep 01, 2015
yaskarahyelhope:
LETTER TO NIGERIAN PARENTS (PART 1)

Dear All- Let's be real.

I wish to start by adding the benefit of my time as a student and then resident in the UK. Living in Abuja now. The first thing that I discovered about UK-born, white, English undergraduates was that all of them did holiday or weekend job to support themselves – including the children of millionaires amongst them. It is the norm over there – regardless of how wealthy their parents are. And I soon discovered that virtually all other foreign students did the same – except status – conscious Nigerians.

I also watched Richard Branson (owner of Virgin Airline) speaking on the Biography Channel. To my amazement, he said that his young children travel in the economy class – even when the parents (he and his wife) are in upper class. Richard Branson is a billionaire in Pound sterling. A quick survey would show you that only children from Nigeria fly business or upper class to commence their studies in the UK. No other foreign students do this. There is no aircraft attached to the office of the Prime Minister in the UK. He travels on BA. And the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an aircraft for her exclusive use.

These practices simply become the culture which the next generation carries forward. Have you seen the car that Kate Middleton (the wife of Prince William) drives? VW Golf or something close to it. But there’s one core difference between them and us (generally speaking), they (even the billionaires among them) work for their money, most of us steal ours

If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please let’s begin now and teach them to work hard so they can stand alone and most importantly be content and not having to “steal” which seems to be the norm these days.

We have Nigerian Children who have never worked for 5 minutes in their lives insisting on flying “only” first or business class and using the latest cars fully paid for by their “loving“ parents.

I often get calls from anxious parents” my son graduated 2 years ago and is still looking for a job, can you please assist!”

“Oh really! So where exactly is “THIS CHILD?” is my usual question. “Why are you the one making this call dad/mum?"

I am yet to get a satisfactory answer, but between you and i, chances are that the big boy is cruising around Abuja with a babe dressed to the nines, in his dad’s sparkling new SUV with enough “pocket money” to put your salary to shame. It is not at all strange to hear a 28 year old who has NEVER worked for a day in his or her life in Nigeria but “earns” a six figure “salary” from parents for doing absolutely nothing.

I see them in my office once in a while, 26 years old with absolutely no skill to sell apart from a shiny CV, written by his dad’s secretary in the office. Of course, he has a driver at his beck and call and he is driven to the job interview. We have a fairly decent conversation and we get to the inevitable question- so, what salary are you looking to earn? Answer comes straight out – N250,000.00. I ask if that is per month or per annum.

“Of course, it is per month”

“Oh, why do you think you should be earning that much on your first job?”

“Well, because my current pocket money is N200,000.00 and I feel any employer should be able to pay me more than my parents.”

No wonder corruption continues to thrive. We have a society of young people who have been brought up to expect something for nothing, as if it were a birthright. Even though the examples I have given above are from parents of considerable affluence, similar patterns can be observed from Abeokuta to Adamawa.

Wake up mum! Wake up dad! This syndrome – “my children will not suffer what I suffered" is destroying your tomorrow. You are practically loving your child to death.

I learnt the children of a former Nigeria Head of State with all the stolen (billions) monies in their custody, still go about with security escort as wrecks. They are on drugs, several time because of the drug, they collapse in public places. The escort will quickly pack them and off they go. What a life! No one wants to marry them.

Henry Ford said “hard work does not kill.” We are getting everything wrong in Nigeria now, including family setting. It is time to prepare your children for tomorrow, the way the world is going, only those that are rugged, hard working and smart working that will survive. How will your ward fare?

Please forward this to all the parents you know and love. We must begin to save our young children from unintended consequences of "too much love" and weak parenting. It is the only way we can build a strong and decent Nigeria.
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by ezekielplenty(m): 4:00am On Sep 01, 2015
I pray God help us parents.
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by Bobbyjay001(m): 5:14am On Sep 01, 2015
Beeni ati beeko. Baba mi je omo Imoru ni ipinle Ondo nigbati Iya to bi mi lomo je omo Ijebu. A mo saa oo, Ijebu ni won fi ori mi sole si ti mo si gbe dagba di oni yi.
In short, Ijebu-ode is my second home,
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by 9jatatafo(m): 5:15am On Sep 01, 2015
Letter for our polithiefcians whole purposely steal our money and their lazy kids help in wasting our money by living false flamboyant life styles.
To our polithiefcians that crave for private jets and bullet proof cars.
This reminds me of that Naija boy that tried to bomb a plane in the US who was a spoilt brat.
I read a piece of news where an American billionaire said he all his wealth will be WILLED to the orphans and that his children should work for their money. I was shocked! In Naija that is a taboo
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by deiikonac(m): 5:33am On Sep 01, 2015
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by danielicon(m): 6:01am On Sep 01, 2015
see it's not a Nigerian thing, it happens , it happens even within the whites... it's all about personal orientation . my dad trained every of us that way to be independent and though my dad is rich . he always treated is as if he was poor. so stop saying it's mostly in Nigeria , go to America and see millions of lazy kids not well trained.

1 Like

Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by Sylverbox(m): 6:36am On Sep 01, 2015
Best post I have read on FP in a very long time! Thanks OP. Happy new month everyone!

1 Like

Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by nabiz(m): 6:47am On Sep 01, 2015
Oh my dear, ur write up have worn my love. U ar a darling. I love ur mind set. Nigerians need people like u. Am going to send this message as a gift to my rich politicians for there children
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by Nobody: 6:52am On Sep 01, 2015
Op, nice piece there but my annoyance with you is that, you yourself prefer to give "first class" attention to these children from influential homes over others and his/her parents called you earlier before he/she comes over to meet you. To be very frank with my question, do you give such attention to a rugged and hard working young man who treks into your office in need of job and is damn ready to work his ass off just to earn 100k? I'm sure the answer is NO if you are to be sincere with yourself. This is a typical way of how things are done in Nigeria. The affluence always want to have dominion over the average.

Well, my advice is, millions of hard working nigerian youth are out there in need of that job at half pay, if you think the children of the elite dont need the job based on their parental orientation, then "exit" notice is always stamped on your door. Show them the notice and take the poor young man in who is ready to work hard and help make your office/organization achieve its goal and objective. The elite children, the parents are there to cater for all their needs even when they want to marry and after marriage, the average, if you no struggle, *in Lagbaja's voice*, nothing for youuuuuu.
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by daxon001(m): 6:57am On Sep 01, 2015
Davido n Dj Cuppy have shown that as an aje butter,u can work hard and become a success without totally dependent on your popsi's wealth
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by Reference(m): 7:04am On Sep 01, 2015
My children will not suffer what I suffered because you view the way you took to the top as 'suffering' rather than 'learning', 'training' and lends credence to the fact that most Nigerians view success in monetary rather than in performance, achievement, competence terms, values which are only obtainable through patient, hard, repetitive efforts, which Nigerians unfortunately call suffering.

What the older generation should seek to offer their wards is the capability to be more efficient and thus more productive not less productive. It doesn't lessen the 'suffering' but guarantees better results. That is the essence of education, that is one of the purposes of life.

I have discovered this secret. That as a lion begets a cub and teaches it to do lion stuff and a mosquito begets a mosquito to teaches it to suck blood with increasing efficiency so my children will be taught in my ways and there lies their careers, their future. I want my kids to be a better, more efficient me. I am not a lawyer, banker, educationist or performing artist so my children cannot be those because I cannot lead them to success there and I would be darned to let all the resources, knowledge, experiences go down to the grave with me while I want the kids to start from scratch and depend on others, on society for knowledge, values and competencies, jobs, contacts, resources, etc. That is the real tragedy and is the reason why excellence is alien here and trans-generational enterprises are scarce.

My kids will watch me 'suffer' and learn that it is normal so that when they come of age they will take 'suffering' to a whole new level so that they can be outstanding successes.

1 Like

Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by Olufemiolaolu(m): 7:12am On Sep 01, 2015
yaskarahyelhope:
LETTER TO NIGERIAN PARENTS (PART 1)

Dear All- Let's be real.

I wish to start by adding the benefit of my time as a student and then resident in the UK. Living in Abuja now. The first thing that I discovered about UK-born, white, English undergraduates was that all of them did holiday or weekend job to support themselves – including the children of millionaires amongst them. It is the norm over there – regardless of how wealthy their parents are. And I soon discovered that virtually all other foreign students did the same – except status – conscious Nigerians.

I also watched Richard Branson (owner of Virgin Airline) speaking on the Biography Channel. To my amazement, he said that his young children travel in the economy class – even when the parents (he and his wife) are in upper class. Richard Branson is a billionaire in Pound sterling. A quick survey would show you that only children from Nigeria fly business or upper class to commence their studies in the UK. No other foreign students do this. There is no aircraft attached to the office of the Prime Minister in the UK. He travels on BA. And the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an aircraft for her exclusive use.

These practices simply become the culture which the next generation carries forward. Have you seen the car that Kate Middleton (the wife of Prince William) drives? VW Golf or something close to it. But there’s one core difference between them and us (generally speaking), they (even the billionaires among them) work for their money, most of us steal ours

If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please let’s begin now and teach them to work hard so they can stand alone and most importantly be content and not having to “steal” which seems to be the norm these days.

We have Nigerian Children who have never worked for 5 minutes in their lives insisting on flying “only” first or business class and using the latest cars fully paid for by their “loving“ parents.

I often get calls from anxious parents” my son graduated 2 years ago and is still looking for a job, can you please assist!”

“Oh really! So where exactly is “THIS CHILD?” is my usual question. “Why are you the one making this call dad/mum?"

I am yet to get a satisfactory answer, but between you and i, chances are that the big boy is cruising around Abuja with a babe dressed to the nines, in his dad’s sparkling new SUV with enough “pocket money” to put your salary to shame. It is not at all strange to hear a 28 year old who has NEVER worked for a day in his or her life in Nigeria but “earns” a six figure “salary” from parents for doing absolutely nothing.

I see them in my office once in a while, 26 years old with absolutely no skill to sell apart from a shiny CV, written by his dad’s secretary in the office. Of course, he has a driver at his beck and call and he is driven to the job interview. We have a fairly decent conversation and we get to the inevitable question- so, what salary are you looking to earn? Answer comes straight out – N250,000.00. I ask if that is per month or per annum.

“Of course, it is per month”

“Oh, why do you think you should be earning that much on your first job?”

“Well, because my current pocket money is N200,000.00 and I feel any employer should be able to pay me more than my parents.”

No wonder corruption continues to thrive. We have a society of young people who have been brought up to expect something for nothing, as if it were a birthright. Even though the examples I have given above are from parents of considerable affluence, similar patterns can be observed from Abeokuta to Adamawa.

Wake up mum! Wake up dad! This syndrome – “my children will not suffer what I suffered" is destroying your tomorrow. You are practically loving your child to death.

I learnt the children of a former Nigeria Head of State with all the stolen (billions) monies in their custody, still go about with security escort as wrecks. They are on drugs, several time because of the drug, they collapse in public places. The escort will quickly pack them and off they go. What a life! No one wants to marry them.

Henry Ford said “hard work does not kill.” We are getting everything wrong in Nigeria now, including family setting. It is time to prepare your children for tomorrow, the way the world is going, only those that are rugged, hard working and smart working that will survive. How will your ward fare?

Please forward this to all the parents you know and love. We must begin to save our young children from unintended consequences of "too much love" and weak parenting. It is the only way we can build a strong and decent Nigeria.
Awesome piece, God bless u.

1 Like

Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by adonbilivit: 7:31am On Sep 01, 2015
Desgidi:




by fire by force oooo.....They must enjoy the luxury of life....The fact is that every1 don't have to struggle to gt up there ...some people already have a ladder while some must build the ladder....which ever way... na up b the aim.

word. they sometimes make it seem like being ajebbutter is evil
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by drnoel: 7:31am On Sep 01, 2015
yaskarahyelhope:
LETTER TO NIGERIAN PARENTS (PART 1)

Dear All- Let's be real.

I wish to start by adding the benefit of my time as a student and then resident in the UK. Living in Abuja now. The first thing that I discovered about UK-born, white, English undergraduates was that all of them did holiday or weekend job to support themselves – including the children of millionaires amongst them. It is the norm over there – regardless of how wealthy their parents are. And I soon discovered that virtually all other foreign students did the same – except status – conscious Nigerians.

I also watched Richard Branson (owner of Virgin Airline) speaking on the Biography Channel. To my amazement, he said that his young children travel in the economy class – even when the parents (he and his wife) are in upper class. Richard Branson is a billionaire in Pound sterling. A quick survey would show you that only children from Nigeria fly business or upper class to commence their studies in the UK. No other foreign students do this. There is no aircraft attached to the office of the Prime Minister in the UK. He travels on BA. And the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an aircraft for her exclusive use.

These practices simply become the culture which the next generation carries forward. Have you seen the car that Kate Middleton (the wife of Prince William) drives? VW Golf or something close to it. But there’s one core difference between them and us (generally speaking), they (even the billionaires among them) work for their money, most of us steal ours

If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please let’s begin now and teach them to work hard so they can stand alone and most importantly be content and not having to “steal” which seems to be the norm these days.

We have Nigerian Children who have never worked for 5 minutes in their lives insisting on flying “only” first or business class and using the latest cars fully paid for by their “loving“ parents.

I often get calls from anxious parents” my son graduated 2 years ago and is still looking for a job, can you please assist!”

“Oh really! So where exactly is “THIS CHILD?” is my usual question. “Why are you the one making this call dad/mum?"

I am yet to get a satisfactory answer, but between you and i, chances are that the big boy is cruising around Abuja with a babe dressed to the nines, in his dad’s sparkling new SUV with enough “pocket money” to put your salary to shame. It is not at all strange to hear a 28 year old who has NEVER worked for a day in his or her life in Nigeria but “earns” a six figure “salary” from parents for doing absolutely nothing.

I see them in my office once in a while, 26 years old with absolutely no skill to sell apart from a shiny CV, written by his dad’s secretary in the office. Of course, he has a driver at his beck and call and he is driven to the job interview. We have a fairly decent conversation and we get to the inevitable question- so, what salary are you looking to earn? Answer comes straight out – N250,000.00. I ask if that is per month or per annum.

“Of course, it is per month”

“Oh, why do you think you should be earning that much on your first job?”

“Well, because my current pocket money is N200,000.00 and I feel any employer should be able to pay me more than my parents.”

No wonder corruption continues to thrive. We have a society of young people who have been brought up to expect something for nothing, as if it were a birthright. Even though the examples I have given above are from parents of considerable affluence, similar patterns can be observed from Abeokuta to Adamawa.

Wake up mum! Wake up dad! This syndrome – “my children will not suffer what I suffered" is destroying your tomorrow. You are practically loving your child to death.

I learnt the children of a former Nigeria Head of State with all the stolen (billions) monies in their custody, still go about with security escort as wrecks. They are on drugs, several time because of the drug, they collapse in public places. The escort will quickly pack them and off they go. What a life! No one wants to marry them.

Henry Ford said “hard work does not kill.” We are getting everything wrong in Nigeria now, including family setting. It is time to prepare your children for tomorrow, the way the world is going, only those that are rugged, hard working and smart working that will survive. How will your ward fare?

Please forward this to all the parents you know and love. We must begin to save our young children from unintended consequences of "too much love" and weak parenting. It is the only way we can build a strong and decent Nigeria.

A billion million likes. Nepotism is the order of the day in Nigeria. This is something Buhari can´t stop cos his kids too are guilty of that fact. It will require a fresh face like Fayose to make such changes.
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by jas53: 7:45am On Sep 01, 2015
Op, are u trying to say if were in such position u would give it up? tongue

1 Like

Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by Tex42(m): 8:01am On Sep 01, 2015
Bobbyjay001:
I once met an"ajebutter" lady of about 25 years of age who couldn't cross a "not busy" 2-lane road, seperared by culvert in d middle at Ijebu-ode. When she approached me to take her across the road, I was like "ode ni e ni abi o ya dindinrin ni?"
Lol! Don't know what the quote in yoruba means, buh I'm sure u murdered her with it.

Funny thing is, most of these "butty wanna be" especially babes are from broke families. They be forming like they don't stool.

1 Like

Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by MaxyBrown(m): 8:32am On Sep 01, 2015
Nice one Yaskarahyelhope. Its not certain how we got here as a people. At least it wasn't this bad before now.
A major re-orientation and paradigm shift is needed if the generation that will succeed the current show runners will thrive in the comity of nations.
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by SAMBARRY: 8:41am On Sep 01, 2015
Bobbyjay001:
I once met an"ajebutter" lady of about 25 years of age who couldn't cross a "not busy" 2-lane road, seperared by culvert in d middle at Ijebu-ode. When she approached me to take her across the road, I was like "ode ni e ni abi o ya dindinrin ni?"
that rough over congested roads with okada speeding anyhow and coming out from nowhere to a girl that her parents lock her at home all day probably the only places she's allowed to go is just school and church with daddys driver driving her and you say she should know how to cross.


You nor know say over camping of children turned adults makes them dense
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by ksbusari(m): 8:55am On Sep 01, 2015
LagosBoi2:
Although the advise is for every parent but much of it is for high class parent...leave them let the monies they have looted destroy their children's future...that's karma's reward for them...my daughter dare not mis-behave, after learning how to make hair, she is already begging to join me in farming and she will be 8yrs by next yr Feb...i'm a proud father already
"leave them let the monies they have looted destroy their children's future" nt only thier children's future bt d Ajepako's future too. They will oppress us wit d looted monies and as a result driving us to find d shortest cut to make fast monies (Yahoo yahoo).
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by sfx9ja(m): 9:11am On Sep 01, 2015
ladyF:
Have I read this on FP before or is it just me?

Modified: Found the link...I even made FP there grin
https://www.nairaland.com/2538922/call-change-children-not-suffer

It's [size=20pt]LadyF[/size] again grin grin grin
Dis geh sef... I comment my reserve for u. Mwhile nice Sherlock holming..kipitup.
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by digitsolution: 9:17am On Sep 01, 2015
Aptly stated!!!!!
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by Olypeppy(f): 9:58am On Sep 01, 2015
Nice piece buh sometimes naija educational system doesn't fit in for a regular student to work..even the biz wey I dey do for school time no dey...imagine having classes from 7 to 6 which time you go use work
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by Forwetinnah: 10:28am On Sep 01, 2015
..Mr OP might be right, but unfortunately it is the Children of the RICH and CONNECTED that still get the plump jobs. One can hardly get a decent job these days based on HARD WORK without a call OR recommendation from a top/big shot(most probably a politician) these days. Whatever the case....the Ajebutter/Rich man's child still gets rewarded WITH A JOB!! grin
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by Sijo01(f): 10:46am On Sep 01, 2015
Best article I've read on NL in yearsss. kiss
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by Nobody: 11:03am On Sep 01, 2015
Is it their fault that they are born into rich homes? Nigerians stop being jealous of rich people's children and face your own lives!

Granted there are spoilt kids but I know rich people's kids who are smart and work hard. They take good advantage of the platform their parent's have laid for them. So are u saying all poor people's kids are good? You must be joking.

You tend to hear of rich people's kids misbehaving because the gist is always sweet and normally spread by jealous people around them, most families have at least one child who gives them a hard time whether rich or poor!

So pls leave the butters alone and face your own life. Raise your kids the way u want to and mind your own business!

2 Likes

Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by raayah(f): 11:27am On Sep 01, 2015
SAMBARRY:
that rough over congested roads with okada speeding anyhow and coming out from nowhere to a girl that her parents lock her at home all day probably the only places she's allowed to go is just school and church with daddys driver driving her and you say she should know how to cross.


You nor know say over camping of children turned adults makes them dense

How do you teach someone to cross. Its look left and right and check if road is clear. Everybody can cross a road its jut that the government have refused to put traffic lights and pedestrian crossing where they are supposed to be.

Also, In most countries passengers have the right of way, drivers have to stop and make way for pedestrians. We need to re-educate our drivers and fix our roads.

There are a lot of deaf people, blind people, old people and kids who need to cross the road too.
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by raayah(f): 11:28am On Sep 01, 2015
Forwetinnah:
..Mr OP might be right, but unfortunately it is the Children of the RICH and CONNECTED that still get the plump jobs. One can hardly get a decent job these days based on HARD WORK without a call OR recommendation from a top/big shot(most probably a politician) these days. Whatever the case....the Ajebutter/Rich man's child still gets rewarded WITH A JOB!! grin

Abi oh. !!
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by allanphash7(m): 12:02pm On Sep 01, 2015
Wasere omo adugbo mo



Which side of mushin u be from?
Sigo86:


Oh boy! I be mushin Guy. Where did u get dis's pix? It's very much Old cos d new1 had been painted 2 Green & White... Weldone Bro..#Mushin_2d_Bone#
Re: If Only Parents Can Heed To This Advice!!! by zirrah: 12:11pm On Sep 01, 2015
yaskarahyelhope:
LETTER TO NIGERIAN PARENTS (PART 1)

Dear All- Let's be real.

I wish to start by adding the benefit of my time as a student and then resident in the UK. Living in Abuja now. The first thing that I discovered about UK-born, white, English undergraduates was that all of them did holiday or weekend job to support themselves – including the children of millionaires amongst them. It is the norm over there – regardless of how wealthy their parents are. And I soon discovered that virtually all other foreign students did the same – except status – conscious Nigerians.

I also watched Richard Branson (owner of Virgin Airline) speaking on the Biography Channel. To my amazement, he said that his young children travel in the economy class – even when the parents (he and his wife) are in upper class. Richard Branson is a billionaire in Pound sterling. A quick survey would show you that only children from Nigeria fly business or upper class to commence their studies in the UK. No other foreign students do this. There is no aircraft attached to the office of the Prime Minister in the UK. He travels on BA. And the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an aircraft for her exclusive use.

These practices simply become the culture which the next generation carries forward. Have you seen the car that Kate Middleton (the wife of Prince William) drives? VW Golf or something close to it. But there’s one core difference between them and us (generally speaking), they (even the billionaires among them) work for their money, most of us steal ours

If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please let’s begin now and teach them to work hard so they can stand alone and most importantly be content and not having to “steal” which seems to be the norm these days.

We have Nigerian Children who have never worked for 5 minutes in their lives insisting on flying “only” first or business class and using the latest cars fully paid for by their “loving“ parents.

I often get calls from anxious parents” my son graduated 2 years ago and is still looking for a job, can you please assist!”

“Oh really! So where exactly is “THIS CHILD?” is my usual question. “Why are you the one making this call dad/mum?"

I am yet to get a satisfactory answer, but between you and i, chances are that the big boy is cruising around Abuja with a babe dressed to the nines, in his dad’s sparkling new SUV with enough “pocket money” to put your salary to shame. It is not at all strange to hear a 28 year old who has NEVER worked for a day in his or her life in Nigeria but “earns” a six figure “salary” from parents for doing absolutely nothing.

I see them in my office once in a while, 26 years old with absolutely no skill to sell apart from a shiny CV, written by his dad’s secretary in the office. Of course, he has a driver at his beck and call and he is driven to the job interview. We have a fairly decent conversation and we get to the inevitable question- so, what salary are you looking to earn? Answer comes straight out – N250,000.00. I ask if that is per month or per annum.

“Of course, it is per month”

“Oh, why do you think you should be earning that much on your first job?”

“Well, because my current pocket money is N200,000.00 and I feel any employer should be able to pay me more than my parents.”

No wonder corruption continues to thrive. We have a society of young people who have been brought up to expect something for nothing, as if it were a birthright. Even though the examples I have given above are from parents of considerable affluence, similar patterns can be observed from Abeokuta to Adamawa.

Wake up mum! Wake up dad! This syndrome – “my children will not suffer what I suffered" is destroying your tomorrow. You are practically loving your child to death.

I learnt the children of a former Nigeria Head of State with all the stolen (billions) monies in their custody, still go about with security escort as wrecks. They are on drugs, several time because of the drug, they collapse in public places. The escort will quickly pack them and off they go. What a life! No one wants to marry them.

Henry Ford said “hard work does not kill.” We are getting everything wrong in Nigeria now, including family setting. It is time to prepare your children for tomorrow, the way the world is going, only those that are rugged, hard working and smart working that will survive. How will your ward fare?

Please forward this to all the parents you know and love. We must begin to save our young children from unintended consequences of "too much love" and weak parenting. It is the only way we can build a strong and decent Nigeria.

you said it all, its abject paucity of parenting skills

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