na wa o!In the twenty first century.

reality4us :

It is a normal practise in many places. I know that if you have been living with a woman no matter how long and have children with her, if she dies you must come to pay for her bride price before ever attempting to bury her. By so doing it is now accepted that she was your wife and not a concubine.

I concur!


Tradition should never be undermined, so long it's not barbaric

I beg people who cannot make a comment without abusing others to stop it.
It is a VERY BIG WEAKNESS.

This issue is not a new thing.

Whatever we say here WILL not change anything. THAT IS THE SIMPLE TRUTH. Hard as it is.

People from that part of the country have that as their culture.

yeye culture.they r living in darkness and will never see light.go to court and if u don't win d case,kidnapp d child and runaway.

  not funny at all,their claim of being a xtian is just a carmouflag to me because it is not even biblical to perform such rites. in this 21st century such a terrible and barbaric traditon should have been scrapped with the advent of both xristianity and islam.now this is the reason why our youths should always open their brain and make use of their various number six b4 deciding on even relationship ,since you  wouldn't want  to compromise your religions. so aspiring husband and wife to be i hereby advise you to open your eyes wide and get your facts right,gbaaaaaaaaam

For d sake of the children!
He should leave them with the grandparents, because a stepmum will ruin their lives!
Or else he is prepared to remain single 4 d rest of his life

For d sake of the children!
He should leave them with the grandparents, because a stepmum will ruin their lives!
Or else he is prepared to remain single 4 d rest of his life

Liar Liar pants on fire

Then they turn-around and claim that they are good christians. Such hypocrites abound all over Nigeria.

larez:

Then they turn-around and claim that they are good christians. Such hypocrites abound all over Nigeria.

How does this turn into a religion affair?

*Toyinrayo:

How does this turn into a religion affair?

Pls refer to the original topic.

larez:

Pls refer to the original topic.

dnt ask me to do what you did not do.

Again, I bid you, how does this interfere with one's religion?

Where in the bible does it say " You must marry my dead daughter before asking for your child?"

The guy should go and pay the dowry period.

OR he can easily dismiss the babies forever. Like they should be making any ultimatums.

oh goodness, wahala. well, do the right thing for ya little babies.

We don't know the details of what has been requested of the guy.

In some cultures, the marriage process is seen as evidence of his commitment on the part of the groom. They get to meet his family, who come bearing gifts as a sign of goodwill, support for the marriage, and the ability to meet the needs of the bride. It doesn't have to involve any displeasing acts like sleeping with the corpse (which has probably decayed). Particularly in my neck of the woods, a traditional marriage is between the two families, and not restricted to just the couple. The girl's family asking him to follow through on his intentions are not as bad as it sounds.

People that expect the girl's parents to simply surrender their grandchildren, who are likely all they have left in memory of their late daughter, are being inconsiderate of the parents position.

The likelihood of the guy getting custody in a court of law is very slim, given that he was not legally married to their mother, he is single, and will likely find it difficult to prove that he can take better care of the kids than the grandparents.

If the request is just for the simple exchange of gifts and interaction between the two families, then the guy should do it.

Speechless!!

He needs to take his case to Child Services.

This is a crazy world!!

.

story,

All of u are just talking rubbish,stupid and bastard idiot if its ur sister wat will u do? Which stupid court will handle dis case. Let it happen 2 ur own family and u see how painful it may be. I know its all of u dat have turn lagos to ur verious vellages dat are posting dis nonsense.because u guys dont custom and tradition u now want to disregard other ppls own. If u guys dont know tradition u keep shut and stop messing around. Any one dat is against dat family's decision is a fool and any one wit court opinion is a nonentity.if he connot pay d price, he forget d twains dats all.

@poster, i cld barely understood ya post.
Why not use Adam's English for better understandin.
*no pokin fingers intended*

The comments i ve seen so far reads "its barbaric,go to court,what non-sense,tufiakwa,shege,and they claim they are christians" etc.

Have we forgotten d girl in question is somebody's child?
Even if the parents of the girl soft pedal on their stance,do u think the umunas and d entire community will let go of their culture and tradition?

When d parents of the girl objected to dia marriage,could nt d couple have found a soft landing,resovle d issues instead of trying
to bambozzle d old people into accepting dia marriage by getting pregnant and raising kids?

This things happen daily yet guys still cohabit with babes for years without proper marriage.

"What a man sow,that he shall reap"

Its customary that if the man wants those children as his own, he should pay the bride price which confers to him right of ownership of those children.

No court will give him any right over those children so long as he was not legally married to the woman whether by custom or by law.

The bride price he is paying is not for the dead corpse but for his chidren. If he doesnt do that, he has no right over those kids becuase no matter how long it takes any body can sue him to court and ask for the marriage certificate that gives him legal right of ownership whetter the marriage was customary or by court of law.

there is nothing bizzare about this.
Please if he is responsible enough that he wants his children live under his roof and knows he will cater for them, let him pay the bride price and take his kids.

dem smoke gum??

this sounds strange perform marriage rites on a corpse!!!!!!! wanders shall never end

@poster,
your friend jumped the gun by impregnating the girl before marriage. It is a lesson for most of us (young people) but that not withstanding, the girls parents are still operating from the 17th century mentality. Ask him to arrange a negotiation meeting with his family and that of the late lady's. If they still insist, he should charge them to court not only to have right to the kids, but to help teach people of the need to adjust to the current age social norms. NONE-SENSE!

My advise make sure its a Pre Nuptial Agreement - Pre marriage wedding agreement.


Any advise u take aside this ,u do so at your own risk.

Even the devil wears Pre Nup!

first for those who are asking the guy to seek the help of the police,
its a no no cos its a domestic issue and they wont interfere.

two i don't think its wise for him to undertake such a venture,
these kids are his no matter how long his denied the right. someday they will grow up and ask for their father.

and the minute he performs that right, it wud affect his getting married later on cos he i supposed to now be a widower which isnt true in this case.
i think its high time parents minded their business and allowed their kids make mistakes and learn from them .
if they don't make them now, they might make them later when its too late.

That's where Christianity is better because it preaches abstainence till marriage. Now He's being asked to marry a dead lady, Well to me he has 2 options:

1. Perform the rite for the sake of the babies.

2. Ignore the family and their tradition.

Nothing good comes so easily

what do you expect the parents to do?
dash out the kids and shut their mouth up?
It's not done that way, since u've not properly married the girl.

This is utter madness and people need to learn to grieve properly without making asses out of themselves. This same Family asking a man to marry a dead body will then turn around and claim to be good Christians. Shame on them. As for the people who think it's normal, you need to take your butts out of Lagos and go back to your villages to do that nonsense. You are the ones holding back Nigeria's growth.