Have you ever been hanging out with a
married couple and they seem to not only
love each other, but they actually seem to
like each other too? It’s enjoyable being
around them. It’s life-giving and
encouraging. By contrast, have you ever
been around a couple where it was
obvious they didn’t like each other very
much and the tension made everyone
around them feel uncomfortable?
I think we’ve all been around both kinds
of couples, but the real question is, how do
we become like the happy couple and not
like the unhappy couple? What are the
habits or secrets that separate the two?
I’m glad you asked! After observing the
behaviors of couples from all over the
world, I believe these seven indicators
below are some of the clearest ways to
measure the current health of your
marriage and chart a clearer course
towards a healthier and happier
relationship.
In no particular order…
1. Healthy Couples don’t keep secrets.
Unhealthy couples hide things from each
other regularly.
A healthy marriage is built on a solid
foundation of trust, transparency and
honesty. The moment you send a text
message, visit a website, make a purchase
or have a conversation you hope your
spouse never finds out about, you’re
already WAY out of bounds! Fight for trust
in your marriage. It’s the foundation for
everything else.
2. Healthy couples share everything.
Unhealthy couples divide everything up into
“his” and hers.”
Marriage is not 50-50. Divorce is 50-50.
Marriage is 100-100. A healthy marriage
doesn’t require dividing everything in
half, but rather, giving everything you’ve
got! Unhealthy couples “use” each other
while healthy couples look for ways to
serve each other. Serve each
other generously and selflessly and your
marriage might instantly improve.
3. Healthy couples point out the best in each
other. Unhealthy couples point out the worst
in each other.
If you focus on the best in each other,
you’ll bring out the best in each other. If
you focus on the worst, you’ll bring out
the worst in each other. Be each other’s
biggest encouragers; not the biggest
critics. 4. Healthy couples have conversations.
Unhealthy couples have arguments.
In her latest book, “The Argument-Free
Marriage,” Fawn Weaver points out the
difference between discussions and
arguments. In a discussion, you’re
working together towards a common goal,
but in an argument, you’re trying to “win’
and cause your spouse to “lose.” A
marriage needs to be win-win. You share
everything, so work together to find a
solution.
5. Healthy couples invest in their marriage
regularly. Unhealthy couples always say
“someday” they’ll get around to it.
The happiest couples I know make their
marriages a priority. It’s not rocket
science, but when you invest in
something, it tends to grow. It doesn’t
have to be a big financial investment.
Your time is the great resource you can
invest into your relationship. Make time
for each other daily. Unplug. Have
conversations. Have date nights (even if
date night is just Netflix and popcorn on
your couch).
6. Healthy couples give each other their
best. Unhealthy couples give each other
their leftovers.
Don’t go through your day giving your
best time, energy and thoughtfulness to
strangers and co-workers only to give
your spouse and family your grumpy
leftovers at the end of the day. Save your
best energies for the people who matter
most.
7. Healthy couples believe in grace in
forgiveness. Unhealthy couples believe in
keeping score and holding grudges.
If you keep score in your marriage, you
both lose. If you choose to forgive and
seek forgiveness, you both win. A
marriage can’t survive without a LOT of
grace. When you’ve blown it, be quick to
apologize, accept responsibility and work
to rebuild trust. When your spouse has
blown it, be quick to give forgiveness and
create opportunities for trust to be rebuilt.
Hold hands, not grudges.

Dedicated to my wife, Mrs Titilayo Mary Odeyele, for always give me reasons to always recommit myself to our marriage. Thanks honey.
I pray this will give everyone reading this reasons to be healthy couples. http://www.patheos.com/blogs/davewillis/7-differences-between-healthy-couples-and-unhealthy-couples/?utm_source=SilverpopMailing&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=davewillis_091415UTC070921_daily&utm_content=&spMailingID=49543574&spUserID=MTE5OTUyNDIyMTcxS0&spJobID=761947252&spReportId=NzYxOTQ3MjUyS0

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