charger09:

im sure u are one piece of junk,,so imma let u wander in ure misery..
u talking bout reasoninghow ironic
mofo go back re-read the crap u wrote earlier nd see if it made any sense
we knw pple like you..
gold digger!! i hate you

softandmoist:


Bro leave out the percentage. African mothers are not the only ones who struggle to send their kids to school. The major cause is that DILs do not take time to study their MILs.

Here's an angle I view things from.
First, the holy book says a man will leave his family and cleave. As soon as you desire in your heart to marry that woman, your mom becomes secondary, even if she trekked from Golgotha to Calvary to make your education possible.
Second, people say blood is thicker than water. I totally agree. Your wife is your flesh, says the book. You have become one flesh. Flesh is thicker than blood. There are medical alternatives for blood products, but not flesh. Your wife is you, you're one. Your mom is your idol, so you both will respect her accordingly.
I am a mother, and in some years my son will get married. There are boundaries, and I don't plan to cross them.
If I sow any bad seed into the life of my MIL, may I harvest it bountifully when my son gets married. God forbid that any woman will not enjoy her son because of me, but then again, respect the boundaries!

SOLID!!!

I refuse to want to talk but if I may say a word.


The conflicts between the two women can be settled amicably by the man involved.

#RealMenAct

coolviv:


My guy, the way girls go dey run from you no be here o...I have so many female friends who dey avoid 1st sons like plague especially d ones with many siblings who are still coming up. The fear being that they and their children will suffer for d sake of d siblings. And this has indeed been true in most of such cases.

You are very right, of a truth, it has affected some relationships, but it can be managed you know.

As long as a girl is not one of THOSE girls honestly there is no problem.

bukatyne:


Your wife did not fall from a tree, she has a family that laboured over her too.

Once you are married, you and your wife have gained additional families and you both decide How to care for them.

I dont really get your point but i was talking about those girls who believe a guy should practically abandon his parent once he gets married to them.

Everyone still has a family to take care of but a man as well as a woman should know how to balance the equation

Joy1706:

What was ur father doing when ur mom was doing all these things?

Madam, we have different family setup. As God will have it, the pendulum went the other way.

Its one of those prayer points young people should strongly consider.

softandmoist:


Bro leave out the percentage. African mothers are not the only ones who struggle to send their kids to school. The major cause is that DILs do not take time to study their MILs.

Here's an angle I view things from.
First, the holy book says a man will leave his family and cleave. As soon as you desire in your heart to marry that woman, your mom becomes secondary, even if she trekked from Golgotha to Calvary to make your education possible.
Second, people say blood is thicker than water. I totally agree. Your wife is your flesh, says the book. You have become one flesh. Flesh is thicker than blood. There are medical alternatives for blood products, but not flesh. Your wife is you, you're one. Your mom is your idol, so you both will respect her accordingly.
I am a mother, and in some years my son will get married. There are boundaries, and I don't plan to cross them.
If I sow any bad seed into the life of my MIL, may I harvest it bountifully when my son gets married. God forbid that any woman will not enjoy her son because of me, but then again, respect the boundaries!

Will you stil share this same view if your son marries a woman who has that mindset that her husband is hers 100%

Do you think its a joke that some single ladies openly wish to have a late MIL?

The discussion is about the unusually extreme cases, i dont think there is any matured person who doesnt know there should be defined boundaries

How to be the best daughter in law to African mother:
1) the first day u visit ur mother in law she authomatically becomes ur mom. Never call her anything but mummy.
2) try to dress descently whenever u are visiting ur mother in law, as no mother would like to think that her son's property is being exposed to the public.
3) keep those ur expensive things back home when u are going to see ur mother Inlaw, else she thinks u are mis-spending her son's money
4) always call ur mother in law on phone and send her recharge cards sometimes, even if she has the money, she would value ur gifts more than her son's. Note that xmas gifts is very important no matter how little.
5) learn to ask of her opinion in most of ur decisions. It makes her feel valued, even when u don't end up using it.
6) don't let ur mom visit u more often than ur mother in law. (Ur mom will always understand u but ur mother in law may not)
7) do not involve in much argument with Ur mother in law. If African mother in law says that the sky is red, smile and node your head but don't tell her it's not true. It means u are showing that u know better than her and they don't tolerate that at all.
Try these and see the miracle in them. ( good luck )

softandmoist:


Bro leave out the percentage. African mothers are not the only ones who struggle to send their kids to school. The major cause is that DILs do not take time to study their MILs.

Here's an angle I view things from.
First, the holy book says a man will leave his family and cleave. As soon as you desire in your heart to marry that woman, your mom becomes secondary, even if she trekked from Golgotha to Calvary to make your education possible.
Second, people say blood is thicker than water. I totally agree. Your wife is your flesh, says the book. You have become one flesh. Flesh is thicker than blood. There are medical alternatives for blood products, but not flesh. Your wife is you, you're one. Your mom is your idol, so you both will respect her accordingly.
I am a mother, and in some years my son will get married. There are boundaries, and I don't plan to cross them.
If I sow any bad seed into the life of my MIL, may I harvest it bountifully when my son gets married. God forbid that any woman will not enjoy her son because of me, but then again, respect the boundaries!

Easier said than done. You can say this because he has not yet brought home a lady. Wait until he brings home a girl that you know too well to be a public dog and we will see if your plan not to cross that boundary will be kept.

NL1960:


Easier said than done. You can say this because he has not yet brought home a lady. Wait until he brings home a girl that you know too well to be a public dog and we will see if your plan not to cross that boundary will be kept.

I'm the one saying it, abi? Ehen.
If he likes let him marry a professional witch, its my place as a mother to counsel. after that, its his cup of tea. You lot gave to really grow up, you know. What has setting boundaries got to do with the moral clout of my DIL?
I won't go to their house to tell them what positions are holy and why they must not fake their kids out on weekends.
It's not my place to go and cook for my son when the wife is there. I am raising ab intelligent, godly boy and praying for his future to be peaceful, so carry your nollywood scenario and enact it in the life of your relatives. My own son will not marry a public dog and I won't be a mean mother in-law. I have a business empire to build for their kids and grandkids, no time for nose poking.
Are you satisfied?

sunnyt1:


Will you stil share this same view if your son marries a woman who has that mindset that her husband is hers 100%

Do you think its a joke that some single ladies openly wish to have a late MIL?

The discussion is about the unusually extreme cases, i dont think there is any matured person who doesnt know there should be defined boundaries

Isn't her husband 100% hers? My own husband is mine, 100%.
My own mother had a terrible mother in-law, my grandma. It didn't form a basis for my relationship with my MIL. Single ladies that want a late MIL are allowed to wish. It's free to wish.
And whatever it was you typed up there, well. I wonder why there's such aa huge stat on poor MIL/DIL relationships then. If its all about maturity then a lot of mothers are petty. It's what you've implied.
Sorry, have you eaten sallah meat at all?

softandmoist:

I'm the one saying it, abi? Ehen.
If he likes let him marry a professional witch, its my place as a mother to counsel. after that, its his cup of tea. You lot gave to really grow up, you know. What has setting boundaries got to do with the moral clout of my DIL?
I won't go to their house to tell them what positions are holy and why they must not fake their kids out on weekends.
It's not my place to go and cook for my son when the wife is there. I am raising ab intelligent, godly boy and praying for his future to be peaceful, so carry your nollywood scenario and enact it in the life of your relatives. My own son will not marry a public dog and I won't be a mean mother in-law. I have a business empire to build for their kids and grandkids, no time for nose poking.
Are you satisfied?

Why are you building a business empire for your son's kids and grand kids?. Why can't your well brought up and raised son build something for his own kids as you have built for him?. This is how the control starts.

NL1960:


Why are you building a business empire for your son's kids and grand kids?. Why can't your well brought up and raised son build something for his own kids as you have built for him?. This is how the control starts.

Control? If I bequeath my properties to my generations unborn I'm controlling them? Where are you from?
He can, and will build for them. What's your business if my grandchildren and great grandchildren inherit my billions willed to them? How in your very enlightened dictionary is that control?
See how you even flew off in another direction. I'm talking about raising children with good judgment, you're saying akira vcd remote control doesn't use dry cell battery.
*stirs ileya stew some more*

gnchetts:
How to be the best daughter in law to African mother:
1) the first day u visit ur mother in law she authomatically becomes ur mom. Never call her anything but mummy.
2) try to dress descently whenever u are visiting ur mother in law, as no mother would like to think that her son's property is being exposed to the public.
3) keep those ur expensive things back home when u are going to see ur mother Inlaw, else she thinks u are mis-spending her son's money
4) always call ur mother in law on phone and send her recharge cards sometimes, even if she has the money, she would value ur gifts more than her son's. Note that xmas gifts is very important no matter how little.
5) learn to ask of her opinion in most of ur decisions. It makes her feel valued, even when u don't end up using it.
6) don't let ur mom visit u more often than ur mother in law. (Ur mom will always understand u but ur mother in law may not)
7) do not involve in much argument with Ur mother in law. If African mother in law says that the sky is red, smile and node your head but don't tell her it's not true. It means u are showing that u know better than her and they don't tolerate that at all.
Try these and see the miracle in them. ( good luck )

You're the only one who has said what I'm saying in a different way. Understand that this is Africa, and you can't win these MILs. Understand that, and your life will be easy.
God bless you, and if anyone has ears, let her hear. Or eyes, let her read. Hehehehe.

softandmoist:

I'm the one saying it, abi? Ehen.
If he likes let him marry a professional witch, its my place as a mother to counsel. after that, its his cup of tea. You lot gave to really grow up, you know. What has setting boundaries got to do with the moral clout of my DIL?
I won't go to their house to tell them what positions are holy and why they must not fake their kids out on weekends.
It's not my place to go and cook for my son when the wife is there. I am raising ab intelligent, godly boy and praying for his future to be peaceful, so carry your nollywood scenario and enact it in the life of your relatives. My own son will not marry a public dog and I won't be a mean mother in-law. I have a business empire to build for their kids and grandkids, no time for nose poking.
Are you satisfied?

softandmoist:

Control? If I bequeath my properties to my generations unborn I'm controlling them? Where are you from?
He can, and will build for them. What's your business if my grandchildren and great grandchildren inherit my billions willed to them? How in your very enlightened dictionary is that control?
See how you even flew off in another direction. I'm talking about raising children with good judgment, you're saying akira vcd remote control doesn't use dry cell battery.
*stirs ileya stew some more*

Nothing wrong with bequeathing your properties to your generations unborn. Don't you think it is better to bequeath it to your son and DIL who will in turn bequeath it to them?. Your DIL and grand DIL could have their own plans for their kids you know. They could also have businesses that they want to bequeath to their kids. Your gestures is noble but because of the nature of women, your DIL and grand DIL could see it as going beyond your boundaries and this is where the friction start. What if your grand kids and great grand kids are not interested in your business?. So, just focus on bequeathing to your kids and allow them to continue the bequeathing instead of jumping two generations ahead in the bequeathing.

Btw, i need some ileya ram meat. I hope you did not use everything for that stew you are stirring.

softandmoist:


Isn't her husband 100% hers? My own husband is mine, 100%.
My own mother had a terrible mother in-law, my grandma. It didn't form a basis for my relationship with my MIL. Single ladies that want a late MIL are allowed to wish. It's free to wish.
And whatever it was you typed up there, well. I wonder why there's such aa huge stat on poor MIL/DIL relationships then. If its all about maturity then a lot of mothers are petty. It's what you've implied.
Sorry, have you eaten sallah meat at all?

Sallah meat ke? Iv spent all the holidays in the office.

Then if i have my way, i will educate christians not to eat the sallah meat

I like your mindset anyway, i know regardless of how wayward and retartded the society is, some ladies are still morally very sound