DReaper:


he beeps other girls he doesn't know and you know when a guy is starting a conversation with a girl that is trying to get the girl's mind and play around. those kind of things are what I see.

low self esteem is what am smelling,,it could havebeen a problem,if what you saw was man to man ssshit,but that is not the case,so give him a break

achinaboy:

low self esteem is what am smelling,,it could havebeen a problem,if what you saw was man to man ssshit,but that is not the case,so give him a break

I dont like putting my relationship details in limelight but I need people's serious opinions as I don't want anything to cloud my sense of judgement. what I saw was really not good.

DReaper:


I dont like putting my relationship details in limelight but I need people's serious opinions as I don't want anything to cloud my sense of judgement. what I saw was really not good.

ok me as an adult have to make up my mind now and give an advice,,if what u saw, is,was, ppporn about man and woman, or flirting towards women,or secret date with woman married or single ,sister,,that is way of life for most single or married,not a big deal,although it could be in some cases, but with time,thing could be better,,again you may be too young to be so worried about men and there tricks,,S000000,, as a prophet, if what you saw is or was anything concerning ggay porn site,.dating site, flirting site,,or anything cocerning child pporn site,,,,sister me,,,dump dump this guy this night, and that is the only advice you need.

vizkiz:
change your password and give him some privacy woman!
Is it that difficult?

we are thinking of marriage not play thing so why the privacy.

DReaper:
am new and I opened this account because am practically confused and i have read nairalander's honest answer to other people's questions. I met this dude and he has become a better person since then and he is amazing. we have our own issues and we forgive each other a lot. we all have our own shortcomings but I have a problem that is gradually becoming huge. its secrecy. I check his accounts and he has plenty of them and I see things that do not look nice, we talk about them and we let it go. what marvels me is that he changes his password immediately I find out that something is wrong. I really want to marry him if this works out but there are a lot of things I would rather stay single than worry about in marriage. when he changes these codes, it looks as if he's hiding things because sometimes I end up still seeing some dirty stuffs again after a long while. I trust him but we are best of friends and the only secret are codes. he says he doesnt check mine so I shouldn't check his and the last time I gave him my password, I haven't changed it since then and I even saw once that he had logged into my account and I didnt feel like he was intruding and it was nothing special to me but I cant just throw away my suspicions and marry someone I don't know in depth. I practically don't believe in keeping privacy between two people who want to start life together, we are both in our mid twenties and i think the next thing on our minds is marriage. we have talked about the changeand he said it wont continue but it is still continuing. I dont know what to do.

U have fallen in love, its very obvious and its a shame.

If u were walking in love, u woulda known that this relationship is not what you should be in for more than u have been. Look at urself thinking about marriage, contunu ehn.

My 2cents, gerrrout of this thing u call a relationship cos its not looking good.

4everGrand:


U have fallen in love, its very obvious and its a shame.

If u were walking in love, u woulda known that this relationship is not what you should be in for more than u have been. Look at urself thinking about marriage, contunu ehn.

My 2cents, gerrrout of this thing u call a relationship cos its not looking good.

the OP will definitely not respond to post like yours. She only respond to those that are in with her thought...

F what you posted here I believe he loves you


I used to be like that but I later changed. It's a gradual thing

2sex:
I take an opposing view to you stance.

Trust can not be undermined in atmosphere where two matured persons are planning to get married. Trust meter should be reading right, fully filled, if you really care or love the person.

If I were in the Op's BF shoes, I see no big deal if my supposed future wife wants to read my account or go through them.

HookupCity.com

Listen, if a couple cannot agree on a thing, it better left to be. If she holds the view that she has to have a right to my account and i don't share that view then it has to remain the way it is. I do not have any desire whatsoever to snoop through her accounts, why? Because that's her personal space even though we are dating.

I really struggle to wrap my head round your reasoning, no matter what you feel or think the issue here lies with the OP requesting for access to another man's property. Would you give your GF the keys to your 2012 BMW just because you are now together? Would you give up watching football because she likes telemundo? There are things that would never change and girls have to understand this; if he is with you that means he wants to be with you, if you don't like him enough the way he is then quit the relationship, its not do or die!

DReaper:


I dont like putting my relationship details in limelight but I need people's serious opinions as I don't want anything to cloud my sense of judgement. what I saw was really not good.

You went looking, you found something! Why don't you quit, because that the only thing you can change, you cant change him and its only going to continue.

Take a decision, quit pussyfooting around!

2sex:
the OP will definitely not respond to post like yours. She only respond to those that are in with her thought...

it's not true. I will leave if it doesnt work out.

Squad4:


Listen, if a couple cannot agree on a thing, it better left to be. If she holds the view that she has to have a right to my account and i don't share that view then it has to remain the way it is. I do not have any desire whatsoever to snoop through her accounts, why? Because that's her personal space even though we are dating.

I really struggle to wrap my head round your reasoning, no matter what you feel or think the issue here lies with the OP requesting for access to another man's property. Would you give your GF the keys to your 2012 BMW just because you are now together? Would you give up watching football because she likes telemundo? There are things that would never change and girls have to understand this; if he is with you that means he wants to be with you, if you don't like him enough the way he is then quit the relationship, its not do or die!

we are not just dating. we are courting. we are thinking of marriage. this thing didn't just start, a dirty message started it. pls If you were me, what would you do. put yourself on reverse, not like a guy, like a girl.

DReaper:


it's not true. I will leave if it doesnt work out.

Okay. You don't deserve to be disregarded and never let anyone have a chance at that.

DReaper:


we are not just dating. we are courting. we are thinking of marriage. this thing didn't just start, a dirty message started it. pls If you were me, what would you do. put yourself on reverse, not like a guy, like a girl.

leave that guy with his ideology. People like him promote promiscuity because they are not clean and in the end they breed all manner of events in their home. Why should you marry someone who can't be committed to just you? There too many problems to tackle in life and that I can't be bothered about chasing another woman and for what?

xtervaganza:
F what you posted here I believe he loves you


I used to be like that but I later changed. It's a gradual thing

I want him to change. but how do I know when he has changed. sometimes I feel he has but something else pops up that is less messy and like you said it gradual and it takes a long time for something else to come up. how do I get to know when he is clean. i felt I should ask him for the passwords, not that I would be doing a regular checkup but I don't want any secrets between us because I know he doesnt want that too but he keeps doing things like this. I don't even know how it sounds saying it.

DReaper:


I want him to change. but how do I know when he has changed. sometimes I feel he has but something else pops up that is less messy and like you said it gradual and it takes a long time for something else to come up. how do I get to know when he is clean. i felt I should ask him for the passwords, not that I would be doing a regular checkup but I don't want any secrets between us because I know he doesnt want that too but he keeps doing things like this. I don't even know how it sounds saying it.

i understand how you feel. It's kinda frustrating but something in me tells me he will change.


And I don't think you should ask for his password else he will become too smart for you to catch him.


What my miss did then was to check my phone whenever I dropped it. She would check it and not get angry, it might be up to a week before I know.

One thing she did was to show I wrong I was with love.


I woke up one day and felt making her sad is not worth it

xtervaganza:
i understand how you feel. It's kinda frustrating but something in me tells me he will change.


And I don't think you should ask for his password else he will become too smart for you to catch him.


What my miss did then was to check my phone whenever I dropped it. She would check it and not get angry, it might be up to a week before I know.

One thing she did was to show I wrong I was with love.


I woke up one day and felt making her sad is not worth it

I kinda of did that but he made it into a huge deal and said I was snooping when he was not looking. and it got me thinking I should ask him for the phone when we are together, maybe once in a while but I haven't tried it yet.

DReaper:


I kinda of did that but he made it into a huge deal and said I was snooping when he was not looking. and it got me thinking I should ask him for the phone when we are together, maybe once in a while but I haven't tried it yet.

You are still going round this matter! He cheats with chats, or with phone calls and probably/possibly is sleeping around...the problem is not you checking his chats or he actually doing the things you suspect, the problem is that you don't trust him and baby trust me you can never trust him ever; because he will not change.

Make a call now...quit or accept it all and go ahead. People are more likely to remain the same than change!

@OP, I think men need privacy to an extent.... I detest it also when my bae constantly check my phone even when I know she won't find anything.... BT u didn't specify d kind of dirty things.. is he a scammer?? fraudster? cheat.... b explicit enough when seeking advice....

My dear, all these are signs he's not for you. If u get married to him, it would be worse, currently am in the same situation, i felt he will change since hes settled but its worse, i pray everyday not to contact any disease and I can't get out, I have to leave with it.