Good day romancelanders,I created a long thread last Sunday seeking for advices but my thread got removed or banned by the modafvcking olocious anti spam bot,this made me sad considering that I put up a lot of enthusiasm and focus to write that thread and there was no way I could rewrite it the same exact way cos it is long and time consuming and having tried unsuccessfully to recover/unban the thread,I decide to replace it with this one which I will ensure is as detailed as my vexing mind permits.
Ok,let me go straight to the point jare.
Am 22 years of age,a high school leaver,employed and earning salary as a male hair stylist,became deaf by accident,I mean totally deaf but I communicate by lip reading(hope you know what that means),lip reading is not such an effective mean of communication but I have no other choice because I was not brought up to understand sign language.
Ok my deafness affect my confidence and the way I relate with people especially strangers,this means it also negatively affect the way I relate with the opposite sex.
It is said that a person that ask questions or ask for direction won't get lost,so this made me created a thread on nairaland asking for advices and opinions on a relationship related issue as it concern my hearing disability and with the advices and opinions I got on that thread I set out to ignore my deafness and summon the courage to toast this girl who lives on the same street with me and seems to be giving me the green light with the way she stares at me whenever our paths crossed.
There is this barbing saloon right beside her house and the owner is a not so close friend of mine,so I visit the saloon regularly especially after I closed from work or whenever I have days off,so me and this girl frequently meet in that shop because she sometimes came to charge her phone.
Just last Saturday night I went to the saloon to the saloon as usual,met her inside,summoned courage and invited her to have a seat beside me so we can chat,note that this was my very first time toasting a girl,I begin with how are u?,I like you and want us to be friends,then went dumb for some seconds as I had no idea what next to say cos I never rehearsed,so I divert to asking her personal stuffs,like about her education,favourite stuffs and so on and she was frank with her response,she knew I am hard of hearing but still I told her to speak slowly but clearly cos I have hearing problem,I ignored whatever she said which I failed to pick up so as not to impede the free flow of the convo, I was surprised she did not form or tried to play hard to get,rather she seems open and frank.
There were about four awkward moments of silence that lasted average 1 minute because I ran out of topics to discussed with her and this made me felt embarrassed (has anybody ever experienced this),we exchanged numbers and I told her of my desire to take her out to chill together the next day (Sunday),I suggested we go watch football but she said she doesn't like soccer much,so I suggested we go to a bar to cool off which she agreed to,so I created a thread seeking advices on how not to have a boring time out together and how to make our time at the bar cool and fantastic including how to avoid those awkward silent moments by having topics and things to say or discuss suggested for me,but the modafvcking stoopid anti spam bot remove or banned the thread,so sad I wished I could beat up the fvcking bot wherever it is.I had to find excuse to postponed the outing as that would be my very first time out with a female friend and I don't want another embarrassment after those awkward silent moment while toasting her.If only she had agreed to watch football I would have been more comfortable as our eyes and mouth would be glued to the screen thereby avoiding awkward silences lol.
God knows I want to be more than just friends with her but just decided to start with friendship first as suggested by commenters in my previous thread such as tosyne2much who advised me to start with friendship first.
Now I need advices on how to deepen our friendship and how to avoid those awkward silent moment whenever we are together. Pls those who are gonna derail the thread with stuffs about my hearing and its possible medical solution,I appreciate your concern but please let that be a topic for another day.
Lemme mentioned some of those who made positive contributions to my previous thread.
C.C: Mystic1,donTbone,Swissheart,tosyne2much,naijaboiy,2dice,simitrendy,iamkingzlee,harristo,Djboosting,phanshark,obynolee,fairgeh,chidieze356,Btruth,princeprinz,realchidex,vicadex07,macklef,chuna1985,niggi4life,papazboi1,Romeolowo,coraje,stonecoldcafe,Dedenkem.
C.C lalasticlala.

H

Just add the necessary ingredients... Cc. Maggie, salt, curry, thyme et. al.

Seriously,
just "Be Yourself" around her. Don't try too hard!

tosyne2much:
Nice one bro. At least you have made the first move. Now you are at the second phase of the challenge


I think every guy gets to experience awkward moments of silence especially at the initial stage of having a conversation with a lady you have romantic feelings for. Oooh yeah it happens to virtually every dude (be ye the outspoken or tacciturn)


To avert those awkward moments, these are the things you should do


First and foremost, don't be too anxious. Anxiety can make you to be lost of words Communicate with her as if she were a guy. Don't force words out of your mouth. Be original, don't form what not. Even though you are a shy dude, let her know you are a shy type. Don't form "we no dey shame at all". However, shy dudes who act this way always end up messing up in the presence of ladies cos they do things awkwardly and say things that are quite unnecessary


You should avoid asking direct questions that will demand monosyllabic answer. Take for example, how was your nyt? Rather, how many mosquitoes bit you overnight


You should always try to beat around the bush on a discussion so as to expand its length. Lemme use myself as an example, when I'm having a chat with a lady, my thrust of discussion may only centre on two topics and I can make it last for two hours, depends on how you digress. But note that when a conversation becomes unnecessarily lengthy, it become boring and therefore loses its potency

Though, you don't have to turn yourself to a clown (Papa Ajasco) before a lady enjoys a date with you, but it's also paramount to know that you have to be at least funny cos ladies drastically lose interest in boring guys who can't at least make them smile. You can even tell her that you were afraid to approach her not until courage had its way 'cos at first, you were actually expecting her to bash you or pour hot water on you when you approached her. This will register a smile on her face. It's just one of those things we do


Also try to know more of her. E.g what makes her get angry, what she enjoys doing when bored, does she visit friends or do they come visiting?, etc. And also tell her more of yourself. I think it's even necessary to tell her what led to your deafness. This may however make her like you more than you ever thought. I shouldn't be telling you what to ask jhor


Lastly, when you are running out of topic, tell her to say something. If she says she has nothing to say, tell her to say anything that will keep the chat going


* Oyah send me MTN recharge card sharp sharp *

noted bro,thanks a lot but that funny aspect usually gives me worry as I would have to start tasking my brain to create funny statements just to make her smile,some guys like me are not naturally funny but I will try to be.thanks.
*sends him #500 empty hen credit*

Omotayor123:
Just add the necessary ingredients... Cc. Maggie, salt, curry, thyme et. al.

Seriously,
just "Be Yourself" around her. Don't try too hard!

thanks,is it true you girls gets more attracted to guys who can crack jokes to make you smile? Don't u feel attraction for guys that hardly crack jokes but are seriously into you?

Olayinka8793:
thanks,is it true you girls gets more attracted to guys who can crack jokes to make you smile? Don't u feel attraction for guys that hardly crack jokes but are seriously into you?

Being funny is not bad, it's a Plus. But really, Jokes don freak me. I had rather go watch Stand up Comedians if I feel like hearing jokes

Nothing touch you Guy
Follow the advice of Dem my Ogas@the Top
Going to the bar is cool
She likes you already
***************
The Court is in your Ball
abi how Dem dey take talk am sef..
#Bless

Omotayor123:

Being funny is not bad, it's a Plus. But really, Jokes don freak me. I had rather go watch Stand up Comedians if I feel like hearing jokes

what if he is/was one of the MC at the show

2dice:
Nothing touch you Guy Follow the advice of Dem my Ogas@the Top Going to the bar is cool She likes you already *************** The Court is in your Ball abi how Dem dey take talk am sef.. #Bless

Who be the oga at the top?

2dice:
what if he is/was one of the MC at the show

Then it's a plus, I had seat, relax and enjoy

tosyne2much:
Who be the oga at the top?

Guilty Conscience shall hold ye ..

Omotayor123:
Then it's a plus, I had seat, relax and enjoy

hmmn..