If divorce is all we hear almost everyday between couples then I'm sure we never thought about the effects on their child/children. If a home is broken today, what do you think will happen to the children ? Will they have a normal life or be forced to face more troubles when the parents are seperated . A child is meant to be raised by both the father and mother to be able grow decently , happy and not living with situations of their parent's seperation.. Now here is a question, why do most women file for divorce when u know you are both at wrong , you can't be too perfect , do women do have a thought about their children before deciding to end a marriage because the divorce saga is more requested by the women . What impact do you think a divorce will have on a child?

I think we are what we make ourselves;I know this might sound irrational, but every man comes with a fundamental relative freewill, broken home or straight home, a great individual will most likely turn out good.

Often times, a very "negative and terrible impact"!!

The child gets to "suffer" a lot "psychologically"!

kadas01:
Often times, a very "negative and terrible impact"!!

The child gets to "suffer" a lot "psychologically"!

but most people do overlook issues like this and let the child face any problems that arises, I know situations whereby the both man and woman remarried to someone else and the child was left to live away from both , the woman couldn't take the girl to get new husband's house and the man as well couldn't take in the girl because he got married to someone else leaving the child to suffer for their silly decisions without considering the child, our mothers were so committed to their marriage despite all they faced they stood for their child and at the end they live a good life , all our mothers went through a lot with our fathers but they stood despite the odds but in our generation and time, divorce is the only word to every issues in a home

Mr seun osewa please push this thread abeg, we need more helpful ideas from everyone who can contribute. Thanks, the moderators need to do the needful on matters like this because it's fast rising everywhere.. Lalasticlala /freiburger

Ferraricash:
but most people do overlook issues like this and let the child face any problems that arises, I know situations whereby the both man and woman remarried to someone else and the child was left to live away from both , the woman couldn't take the girl to get new husband's house and the man as well couldn't take in the girl because he got married to someone else leaving the child to suffer for their silly decisions without considering the child, our mothers were so committed to their marriage despite all they faced they stood for their child and at the end they live a good life , all our mothers went through a lot with our fathers but they stood despite the odds but in our generation and time, divorce is the only word to every issues in a home

It is a very sad and true picture you have painted about this generation!

The "ultimate concern" for anybody who possesses "genuine love" at heart is that of the child!

Good morning!

kadas01:
It is a very sad and true picture you have painted about this generation!

The "ultimate concern" for anybody who possesses "genuine love" at heart is that of the child!

Good morning!

true one there sis. Good morning to u too ma

Ferraricash:
true one there sis. Good morning to u too ma

Lol!

I am a guy o, I'm NOT a woman!

Cheers!

kadas01:
Lol!

I am a guy o, I'm NOT a woman!

Cheers!

cheers too bro.

I support divorce when there is a case of domestic violence.It would be very lame to stay for the kids.When the woman dies,who will be a mother to the kids she was enduring the beatings for?In other cases,where the parties are not happy anymore and can't stand living together,they just have to go their separate ways.A conflict filled environment is not healthy to raise kids anyways.There are many kids from broken homes who turned out ok.The parents must not turn to matyrs and live sad,depressed lives just to keep up appearances of being together.

I won't support a situation whereby the wife becomes the punching bag but most women don't even face anything but they just get carried away by luxuries from one man out there, a counselor should be involve in most marital issues, let's train people in nigeria to tackle issues involving marital problems, the whole system of divorce has led Americans to their current states, many women became lesbians, men became gays , leaving seperately, we can smell trouble from afar, let's imbibe the act of solving issues not involving the cutting down of an head that is held down by headache.. Very soon we will start having a difficult situation to tackle divorce.. Look out

queenfav:
I support divorce when there is a case of domestic violence.It would be very lame to stay for the kids.When the woman dies,who will be a mother to the kids she was enduring the beatings for?In other cases,where the parties are not happy anymore and can't stand living together,they just have to go their separate ways.A conflict filled environment is not healthy to raise kids anyways.There are many kids from broken homes who turned out ok.The parents must not turn to matyrs and live sad,depressed lives just to keep up appearances of being together.

Honestly speaking, women are 75% @ fault in situations of divorce..

Most of the children turn out ok just that most of society look down on them as if they're the reason their parents split.

Ferraricash:
Honestly speaking, women are 75% @ fault in situations of divorce..

Hogwash! A typical Nigerian woman has a ride or die attitude, always willing to face all sorts to save her marriage. For an average Nigeria woman to decide to quit her marriage, she must have been to hell and back in the hands of her husband and/or his relatives. What it's her husband that sends her packing? i suppose that's her fault also.

Parents who subject kids to such things are nothing but fools and shameless peeps. Will never forgive my parents for wat i witnessed growing up.

panachuku:
Parents who subject kids to such things are nothing but fools and shameless peeps. Will never forgive my parents for wat i witnessed growing up.

bro, honestly speaking, I wish this thread can hit the front page.. So many experience going on and a lot of people need to learn our experience.. Mods.. Oga seun pls biko tell ur mods to do the needful

dominique:


Hogwash! A typical Nigerian woman has a ride or die attitude, always willing to face all sorts to save her marriage. For an average Nigeria woman to decide to quit her marriage, she must have been to hell and back in the hands of her husband and/or his relatives. What it's her husband that sends her packing? i suppose that's her fault also.

a lot of women have gone wayward and I must tell you, go to lagos, Ogun state , Na married women u go see for hotels.. But why

Divorce,separation or whatever you call it is a very difficult situation that leaves the children psychologically and emotionally drained. However, both parents can go a long way to help the child by given the child their unconditional support and not allowing the child caught up with their adult issues but the reverse is always the case because the divorce or separation most often leaves both parties with resentment and anger for each other and so they find it difficult to put aside their issues to help the child.

Most times communication is severed, if the child is a minor he/she likely goes with the Mom and the Dad stops visiting or even calling to check on the child and so the child is left wondering what wrong he/she did to Dad that he is not visiting or calling, the child would think he/she has offended the Dad because he/she has no knowledge of what divorce or separtion is all about.

Divorce,separation or whatever you call it is a very difficult situation that leaves the children psychologically and emotionally drained. However, both parents can go a long way to help the child by given the child their unconditional support and not allowing the child caught up with their adult issues but the reverse is always the case because the divorce or separation most often leaves both parties with resentment and anger for each other and so they find it difficult to put aside their issues to help the child.

Most times communication is severed, if the child is a minor he/she likely goes with the Mom and the Dad stops visiting or even calling to check on the child.stop paying the child`s educational fees, no financial support for the child etc and so the child is left wondering what wrong he/she did to Dad that he is not visiting or calling, the child would think he/she has offended the Dad because he/she has no knowledge of what divorce or separation is all about.

I am currently separated with my spouse, i can tell you that it is the most difficult decision i have ever made but we have both learnt how to put our differences aside when it comes to the issues of the children and despite our bitterness for each other we still endeavor to put the interest of the children above ours. A day does not go without me calling the children, their education, well being, health remains my responsibility.

I have visiting right, i ensure i pick them up when they are meant to be with me, visit places with them, eat out, play games, wash the car together, go to market together etc..

I have to go now will make more contribution later.

Maybe the government should make divorce illegal so people can make use of their heads in finding better alternatives to resolve family conflict than looking for the easy and ready way out.

If the govt can't do the above, divorcees should be stigmatised esp if kids are involved.

I can't imagine a child living without nuture from both parents, (well i can imagine) but how cruel

See er marriage is far from that personal hapiness shit we hear all the time. If there is no sacrifice of personal interests and "happiness" it would crash.

Above all, if we can put others before us, life will be easy and fruitful.

deeptesting:
Divorce,separation or whatever you call it is a very difficult situation that leaves the children psychologically and emotionally drained. However, both parents can go a long way to help the child by given the child their unconditional support and not allowing the child caught up with their adult issues but the reverse is always the case because the divorce or separation most often leaves both parties with resentment and anger for each other and so they find it difficult to put aside their issues to help the child.

Most times communication is severed, if the child is a minor he/she likely goes with the Mom and the Dad stops visiting or even calling to check on the child.stop paying the child`s educational fees, no financial support for the child etc and so the child is left wondering what wrong he/she did to Dad that he is not visiting or calling, the child would think he/she has offended the Dad because he/she has no knowledge of what divorce or separation is all about.

I am currently separated with my spouse, i can tell you that it is the most difficult decision i have ever made but we have both learnt how to put our differences aside when it comes to the issues of the children and despite our bitterness for each other we still endeavor to put the interest of the children above ours. A day does not go without me calling the children, their education, well being, health remains my responsibility.

I have visiting right, i ensure i pick them up when they are meant to be with me, visit places with them, eat out, play games, wash the car together, go to market together etc..

I have to go now will make more contribution later.

Wow wonderful. I have always said it is important for parents to put their children's welfare above all else. Sometimes you just cannot stay together but you can try to put all bitterness aside (except in the case of abuse ) and co parent . Shared custody is always best both mum and dad need to be involved in a child's life.

To pity the kids and accept to rule out a divorce just to inure the bull crap in your marriage is nearly a nuclear option.

Would you still be looking out for your kids from the grave when that bullcrap you're stomaching must have killed you?

My advice is, any couple who intends to divorce should make out plans for their kids. Either parent could decide to live with the children and give them the best of parenting.

I've seen cases where the kids were asked to choose the parent they would love to live with, that's a good idea as well, one that reeks of democracy.

The kids must be planned for before a divorce, simples.

They are some marriages that are toxic for the parties involved. No one enters into marriage with the intention of divorcing his/her spouse, people take the option when they don't see anyway forward. I don't support divorce, but sometime's it may be the best option. Imagine a child growing up in a home where he/she watches real scenes of domestic violence everyday, that child will most likely be affected negatively. Better a broken home than death as a result of bad marriage.

Ferraricash:
a lot of women have gone wayward and I must tell you, go to lagos, Ogun state , Na married women u go see for hotels.. But why

How many hotels have you gone to to arrive at this conclusion? I don't go to hotels so I wouldn't know but I know that men cheat on their wives more than women cheat on their husbands. Married men has been philandering since time immemorial but you seem to see nothing in that, perhaps it's the woman's fault also.

Speechless3:
Maybe the government should make divorce illegal so people can make use of their heads in finding better alternatives to resolve family conflict than looking for the easy and ready way out.

If the govt can't do the above, divorcees should be stigmatised esp if kids are involved.

I can't imagine a child living without nuture from both parents, (well i can imagine) but how cruel

See er marriage is far from that personal hapiness shit we hear all the time. If there is no sacrifice of personal interests and "happiness" it would crash.

Above all, if we can put others before us, life will be easy and fruitful.

I am so sticking with your moniker right now

@topic
It all depends on how both parent handle it
Your child can have both love and even extra love from the partners of each parent

Whatever psychological, emotional, traditional all the tional effect a child from.a single parent goes or going through I blame on the parent, I grew up without a father and I never miss him for once
Not like I wish to build that relationship with my son too but some things could be beyond your own control, we gotta live so these kids can be happy with us, either separated or together, trust me a kid/kids can have the best of both worlds from both parent

This stigmatization gotta stop
Its really sickening

I'm so happy with great responses I'm getting here because I'm as well learning, as for me if I ever find myself in such situations, divorce is not the way out but we need a moment t share our minds, talk abt the hurts and th guilts , learning to forgive and forget that's what a home is meant to be built on.. But it's a shame that many pretend to love but it's the other way round , like dey always say even the teeth do fight with the tongue but they are still the best friend you can ever see, cheating on each other is not the way to keep a home and I see dis as a great issue bringing most divorce, where has the strength to be faithful gone to? I ask myself but yet I can't find an answer, both party should be able to talk abt everything. Sometime he/she might not know what he/she has been doing if wrong or right but have time to talk abt everything. As for me I will always a day like Saturdays to talk abt our differences.. I pray may every home be restored..

To everyone going through something in their home, you can do better with respecting each other.. You can be happy with that man/woman who has not been good to you, lots of men are left with problems they face at work before they get back to the house same as the woman who works, try to understand each other. My old woman knows that when my old man is always very tired when he returns after the day stress and she knows that at that very minutes he returns home, the food should av been ready and immediately she dishes the food and serve, she will leave his room because she knows if she does remain there, they will argue because he will be too weak to talk abt anything and all discussions will be left till morning before he leaves again. This is understanding each other, our old ones know how they handle issues during their time and it works for them, my old woman will always tell us now that if she had not stood when she having problem with my old man, she won't be happy and achieved seeing her children succeed today. A lot needs to change this time, western cultures is affecting us in Nigeria.. We need to trace our heritage, our cultures, our past.. We've lost a lot neglecting our forefather's acts.. The time of social networks is affecting us because today we are blinded by what we see from the westerners, if we don't retrace our past then the next generation will be worst than this.

Dyt:


I am so sticking with your moniker right now

You dont agree with me Its okay, i just erred an opinion.

Dyt:
@topic
It all depends on how both parent handle it
Your child can have both love and even extra love from the partners of each parent

Whatever psychological, emotional, traditional all the tional effect a child from.a single parent goes or going through I blame on the parent, I grew up without a father and I never miss him for once
Not like I wish to build that relationship with my son too but some things could be beyond your own control, we gotta live so these kids can be happy with us, either separated or together, trust me a kid/kids can have the best of both worlds from both parent

This stigmatization gotta stop
Its really sickening

.
Woaw, no wonder you had to stick with my monicker Sorry dear. True somethings can be beyond our control and in this case its you growing up with just a single parent without the opoortunity to choose. Maybe if life had allowed you peep at how it would have been with both parents you would not oversimplify growing up with just a parent. I believe your dad would have played a great role in your life, you shouldn't underestimate that sweetheart. Dads are very relevant too...your children should know this..

Indeed parents are to blame for the whole bs children from broken homes face. They (parents) should be stigmatised

There is a man I know he's very cute and intelligent, he was married to this lady and they had 2 kids , a boy and a girl. The woman started misbehaving when she started acting with some groups and this man wasn't happy and he told her to stop and they could be able to have time to take care of their children, from acting she upgraded to carrying big men/yahoo boiz, sometime when a man is picky about the kind of work his work should do, pls he knows what he's trying to prevent , this lady became a cheap slut even in Thesame street they live, the problem got out of control and you can't believe how this lady damaged this man's life through beating and she got the man injured and he lost some of teeth and he has to go for a surgery, the man's family warned him severally to chase this woman away but he tried to change which I believe they never had the priviledge to involve a sitting from Both families. She will bring men to the gate of her husband's house, they will sleep with her in the car, and the issue got out of hand and she moved out and she left the 2young kids with this man, please what will become the fate of these kids while growing? Our women needs to be able to correct a lot of things immediately they are married to someone, I believe a beautiful woman will always have different exs before she settled down, break the communicatin btw U and your ex immediately u settle down, it will ruin ur marriage if u hold on to your ex after marrying to someone else

Great women are here speaking their minds and I'm very sure someone is learning from our experiences.. But honestly yahoo yahoo season spoilt a lot things, so many women got wayward and abadoned their homes for this big boiz then