Acidosis:
The F.G needs to do something fast about under age nannies & career centred couples.


If you know you cannot manage your career and your family, then don't even think about getting married.


I think the institution called marriage should be the sole right of couples who are willing to give their offsprings adequate attention.

Marriage is not a must, you should have stayed SINGLE. There is no dignity in avoidable stress.

Nigeria needs to quickly utilize the Saudi Arabia strategy. Married women should be banned from taking on difficult and time consuming jobs. For those who want the stress, they should stay off marriage.

I don't know why I hate young couples who live apart. I see them as desperate folks whose interests lie on WEDDING RING & MONEY.

What are you really saying? Did she complain about her marriage? If Nigeria utilizes the South Arabia strategy, she should pay the South Arabian way and provide housing and other amenities the South Arabian way. Who need the stress anyway?

Beesluv:

How is accomodating, feeding and sending a maid to school slavery

Yes. As if they don't wash plates and wash clothes in their homes. Growing up was tougher but we came out refined.

I expect a 12yrs going to 13yrs to be able to wash plates thoroughly with the tap running 24 hours. But people are shouting child Labour but they won't shout child Labour or slavery when the child fries garri and pound fufu for her mum, misses school now and then, goes to school without books. No. It is alright as far as it is her parents.

The truth is that she's not your child and sees everything as maltreatment.

Some people keep them in their house for 1yr before sending them to school and kids that find themselves in such homes funny enough seem to tolerate it.

IYANGBALI:
abeg na who get needle and thread?i wan do my pant

Dem dey sew pant?

Just listen to yourself

Because you as a man will stop existing if you take on a less demanding job to have time for your kids too?

Acidosis:
The F.G needs to do something fast about under age nannies & career centred couples.


If you know you cannot manage your career and your family, then don't even think about getting married.


I think the institution called marriage should be the sole right of couples who are willing to give their offsprings adequate attention.

Marriage is not a must, you should have stayed SINGLE. There is no dignity in avoidable stress.

Nigeria needs to quickly utilize the Saudi Arabia strategy. Married women should be banned from taking on difficult and time consuming jobs. For those who want the stress, they should stay off marriage.

I don't know why I hate young couples who live apart. I see them as desperate folks whose interests lie on WEDDING RING & MONEY.

Eketem:



I apologise for bringing your husband into this, forgive me just that it's the excuse some women give.

However my point remains, simple yes or no answer: will you send your 11 year old to be a maid? Since you insist an 11 year old is mature enough to work outside her home

The child in question is now 12 going to 13yrs and still cannot wash plates. I don't know what you call work outside her home. They are the same chores she will do at home. Wash plates and sweep the house. I bath my kids and dress them up for school, get breakfast ready for them and pack lunch for them including her. I wash the clothes and cook. I wash hers when I discover she may not have time for them. that doesn't make me a saint as I have my own faults.
The truth be toĺd kids these days are lazy. I had a running battle withmy daughter, now 14yrs who was reluctant to do house work because she is used to being served. Today she runs the home when she is at home. I rather be with my kids which i have insisted on after my last experience. You may end up training other people kids while yours can do the chores if you are not careful.

To your question, yes. I started living with my brother at that age and you won't believe me, today I am eternally grateful to him. After God, he is the next.

Yes. It was tough because he is a no nonsense man. I took the lasses (both tongue & cane) but I came out better. I learnt all the chores in his house. I was washing his trousers and ironing them by the time I was 13yrs. I always tell my kids that I will send them there for training whenever they misbehave.

Today am an FCA and living well above poverty level.

Eketem:



I apologise for bringing your husband into this, forgive me just that it's the excuse some women give.

However my point remains, simple yes or no answer: will you send your 11 year old to be a maid? Since you insist an 11 year old is mature enough to work outside her home

Pls go through my 1st post again. I responded to someone who suggested taking a smaller naive kid from the village and I gave my experiences with such indicating that bringing kids of that age brings more headache than relief. Most times they had not been doing that at home & making them adapt becomes tasking just as my kids would find it tasking. That is life.

The child in question is now 12 going to 13yrs and still cannot wash plates. I don't know what you call work outside her home. They are the same chores she will do at home. Wash plates and sweep the house. I bath my kids and dress them up for school, get breakfast ready for them and pack lunch for them including her. I wash the clothes and cook. I wash hers when I discover she may not have time for them. that doesn't make me a saint as I have my own faults.

The truth be toĺd kids these days are lazy. I had a running battle withmy daughter, now 14yrs who was reluctant to do house work because she is used to being served. Today she runs the home when she is at home. I rather be with my kids which i have insisted on after my last experience. You may end up training other people kids while yours cannot do the house chores if you are not careful.

To your question, yes. I started living with my brother at that age and you won't believe me, today I am eternally grateful to him. After God, he is the next.

Yes. It was tough because he is a no nonsense man. I took the lasses (both tongue & cane) but I came out better. I learnt all the chores in his house. I was washing his trousers and ironing them by the time I was 13yrs. I always tell my kids that I will send them there for training whenever they misbehave.

Today am an FCA and living well above poverty level.ū

Please calculate and show us how to plan a home or do family planning where you can have kids and work without help from somewhere or someone?

gabinogem:
House help are always not helpful. They even add more stress to the already stressful life at home... that's why I always advice folks to engage in family planning. If ur home was well planned, such a situation wouldn't have occurred. Good spacing is healthy for breeding.

glossy6:


What are you really saying? Did she complain about her marriage? If Nigeria utilizes the South Arabia strategy, she should pay the South Arabian way and provide housing and other amenities the South Arabian way. Who need the stress anyway?

I understand the point, however we need to put these kids first. How is "she" different from a single mother? or career Baby mama?

cococandy:
Just listen to yourself

Because you as a man will stop existing if you take on a less demanding job to have time for your kids too?

My crush Dis wan you're attacking me naw ehn

glossy6:


Pls go through my 1st post again. I responded to someone who suggested taking a smaller naive kid from the village and I gave my experiences with such indicating that bringing kids of that age brings more headache than relief. Most times they had not been doing that at home & making them adapt becomes tasking just as my kids would find it tasking. That is life.

The child in question is now 12 going to 13yrs and still cannot wash plates. I don't know what you call work outside her home. They are the same chores she will do at home. Wash plates and sweep the house. I bath my kids and dress them up for school, get breakfast ready for them and pack lunch for them including her. I wash the clothes and cook. I wash hers when I discover she may not have time for them. that doesn't make me a saint as I have my own faults.

The truth be toĺd kids these days are lazy. I had a running battle withmy daughter, now 14yrs who was reluctant to do house work because she is used to being served. Today she runs the home when she is at home. I rather be with my kids which i have insisted on after my last experience. You may end up training other people kids while yours cannot do the house chores if you are not careful.

To your question, yes. I started living with my brother at that age and you won't believe me, today I am eternally grateful to him. After God, he is the next.

Yes. It was tough because he is a no nonsense man. I took the lasses (both tongue & cane) but I came out better. I learnt all the chores in his house. I was washing his trousers and ironing them by the time I was 13yrs. I always tell my kids that I will send them there for training whenever they misbehave.

Today am an FCA and living well above poverty level.ū

It is a simple yes or no question will you send your child to be a maid in another persons home? Yes or no please

Otses:
Dear thank God it wasn't more than this. cause I have been thinking of what would had happened if not that she loved your son.
In as much as there are bad maids there are also good ones too, so please incase you go for another one continue being good. But I don't think you should get the new one a phone, kind of risky I think.
Your maid wasn't grateful at all cause some people could have promised the mom and didn't put her in school. Just let her go. I pray you get a good one that wouldn't stress you and put your home in disarray.

the phone is necessary though it shouldnt be called hers and the credit on it shouldn't be much cos most of the times, you will do the calling, she is to call only on emergency.

mummyf, its only God that can help, some kids don't feel secured when they are over monitored.

rukemi291, thank God she didn't go with your baby, whatever she did, she will reap it someday.
take your time before getting a new one, if possible use agents thats are reliable. and no school arrangement so you dont have any binding responsibility on the help. keep treating them very well.
i pray you get a great one this time around.


@all, its not easy dealing with home and work without a help. personally i dont like live in helps, also this school agreement thing doesn't go with me. thats why i prefer a nanny to a help, an adult of atleast 20, come in the morning, clean my house, take care of my kids and go home in the evening once am back from work.

i just got my first help like 2 weeks, am still watching her, though my child seem to like her very much. she is an adult and no obligations, just salary and i know her parent and they dont live too far from my house.

Asapcymg:
Am 23 in need of. House job

u want to snatch husband abi

maran1983:

I am also of the opinion that you go and meet the girl and her mum, not because you want her back, but for clarity purpose. She may have lied to her mum that you were treating her badly, or that you did not enrol her in school as promised, and also to clear the air.

It is really hard being without helps as a working mother and wife.

it is very hard o.

i dont think she needs to meet the girl's parent again. she should just forget about them
meeting them may make them start begging and all the rest

Continue to celebrate almighty and all knowing God for protecting you and your dear families, house help na wa dis days... May Allah keep all of us safe from known and unknown enemies but keep doing good it pays.

Eketem:


It is a simple yes or no question will you send your child to be a maid in another persons home? Yes or no please

YES

Beesluv:

Na wa o, when will NLanders start understanding what they read?

Did you by any chance see Jan in op's write up?

Oga seun, its like we have to open a Nland school, even if na evening classes

You want to teach me English in your nland School abi
Lemme Laugh small

Back to point
I guess you also read that the girl has actually started going to the school, even though the Principal said the session officially starts in Jan
I wont bother going into why session starts in January and not September, but as I didnt go to school, I wouldnt know.

BTW . . . .

Rukemi291:


So I went in search of a school and I was lucky she was admited into a Lagos State Government School that is close by. The principal said that it was late actually but she doesn't want the girl to be idle at home, so she could resume immediately but her academic session would be from January. I paid all d fees and got her two sets of uniform. She started school early this month.

My son has also started school, so she drops him in school and picks him up when she's back too.

glossy6:


YES

Great then contact the poster, she needs a replacement househelp, she will be sent to school, be fed. Make the connection please. Nairaland is great isn't it?


Meanwhile, when we want to buy clothes or shoes we go for the best and ensure it fits and will last but when we want help for our kids we are willing to be as cheap and as crude as possible.

tearoses:


You want to teach me English in your nland School abi
Lemme Laugh small

Back to point
I guess you also read that the girl has actually started going to the school, even though the Principal said the session officially starts in Jan
I wont bother going into why session starts in January and not September, but as I didnt go to school, I wouldnt know.

BTW . . . .

Lol, househelps school term is different from normal children's school calender

Eketem:


Lol, househelps school term is different from normal children's school calender

I also note that the househelps school hours are shorter than the 2 year olds hours
Thats why she drops him off before going to school and picks him up when she finishes

I was a the hairdressers the other day and a woman bought her kid housegirl with her. kid was about 12.
When she was asked why the kid was not in school she said the kid was a dunce and failed and she was fed up of paying fees for nothing.
. . . . Of course she will not mention the fact that the kid probably only went to school for 2 days a week and never had any free time to do her school work or study for exams.
At least now she has an excuse not to send the kid to school anymore
Yet the womans kids are studying for their Masters abroad.
It is well.

Rukemi291:
I work with a very wonderful organization and as my job demands, one of my very crucial academic meetings is always held outside Nigeria.

I am also married with a 1yr 11 month old son and pregnant (few weeks gone).... My husband works and lives in a town that is 4hours away from Lagos where I work.

The need for a house help arose when morning sickness started. So I told a lot of people in the office that I needed a girl. Luckily one of the staff told me she could help me send down her half sister who is 15years old and her mum can no longer carter for because they are poor. She said she's also with the girl's elder sister.

I spoke with the girl's mum, she was so excited and prayed for me and all she requested was for her girl to go to school. I promised her that the girl would go to school. The girl was brought to me on 19th October.

So I went in search of a school and I was lucky she was admited into a Lagos State Government School that is close by. The principal said that it was late actually but she doesn't want the girl to be idle at home, so she could resume immediately but her academic session would be from January. I paid all d fees and got her two sets of uniform. She started school early this month.

My son has also started school, so she drops him in school and picks him up when she's back too.

Fast forward to this time, d official assignment that would take me away from the country was close. I couldn't risk leaving her in Lagos with my super active toddler for almost two weeks that I would be away. I had to take them to my husband.

Early on Thursday, 19th, I received a call that my girl had left home with her belongings and she left a note that she was angry with me that I did not let her go to school and that if not that she loved my son ehn.....

My husband's job is a shift- based job and he was on night duty to be back home by 8am the morning she left.

A neighbour called my husband who was at work that the girl took my son to them very early in d morning that we sent her on an errand and that they should borrow her N500. They took my son from her and told her to wait for my husband to return. They said they did not know when she left.

The girl scattered the whole house took all the pieces of meat in d pot, the juice packs at home. I Knew she wouldn't get money, my husband isn't as careless.

My husband spoke with her mum that didn't sound surprised and all she said was that she would scold her when the girl comes home. Yes, d girl is home now.

I was devastated and destabilized for two days. I never ever maltreated this girl. My conscience is as clear as a gallon of distilled water.

Well, my son is now with my mum.

My mum also spoke with her mum that the girl said neighbors were calling her omo-odo (house girl). She left the 6th day she got there. We stay in a compound of 5 flats where everyone minds his business. So who called her a house-girl.

I think the mistake we made was that we got her a phone and even loaded the phone. My husband said he noticed she was always calling someone and he once heard her telling the receiver the address of where she was.

I really wish to visit her mum when I return and I hope to see her and ask her questions.

I really appreciate my family for staying with me throughout this period and I'm glad I'm not hypertensive maybe I'd have lost this pregnancy. And I thank God most that she didn't hurt my son because I never hurt her.

Well, it's all good. Life goes on.

I am not trying to discourage people from getting house helps....

My dear, accept my hearty congratulations on the safety of your child. Thank God that whatever Devil entered her didnt let her cause him any harm but let her drop him with your neighbour and that she actually left on a day that your husband was on night duty to return in the morning.

Please next time u need to travel ehn, carry your baby go give your mother or your MIL. Then, u could have travelled with your baby na, only that you also will need to go with your mum, or sister and of course you will fot their bill. another thing that has worked in my home is that my husband plans his leave to when i have a course so we can just convert the trip to a family vacation. It is expensive but beter safe than sorry.

It is well with us as we strive to strike a balance betwen family and work.

tearoses:


I also note that the househelps school hours are shorter than the 2 year olds hours
Thats why she drops him off before going to school and picks him up when she finishes

I was a the hairdressers the other day and a woman bought her kid housegirl with her. kid was about 12.
When she was asked why the kid was not in school she said the kid was a dunce and failed and she was fed up of paying fees for nothing.
. . . . Of course she will not mention the fact that the kid probably only went to school for 2 days a week and never had any free time to do her school work or study for exams.
At least now she has an excuse not to send the kid to school anymore
Yet the womans kids are studying for their Masters abroad.
It is well.

It is always easy to say other people's kids are dull or not academically inclined( especially less privildged children). Meanwhile same person who said house help is a dunce wont mind paying to 'work' special jamb centre for their own child as if a child you need to 'work' Jamb centre for is academically inclined.

All this issues also stem from the fact that nannies/maids/cleaners/security men/ drivers are not seen as human beings. So ordinary just giving them the basic fair working conditions is termed as being 'nice'. There is also no clear job description so its 'rude' if your driver decides that sweeping the compound is not part of his job description( note I am not saying people don't go over and beyond in their jobs my point it should be appreciated, rewarded and not taken for granted).

My sons nursery charges an arm and a leg and if he has an accident i.e. wets himself na so they will change him and pack all his p.oo filled clothes in a bag for me to handle when I get home,. That's cos I pay for them childcare and not for cleaning up his clothes.

Its an African thing. I know some people who are having issues with eastern European Au pairs who refuse to do anything after their working hours.

Madam, are you sure your husband didn't try any funny thing with the house help? Just asking....

tearoses:


I also note that the househelps school hours are shorter than the 2 year olds hours
Thats why she drops him off before going to school and picks him up when she finishes

I was a the hairdressers the other day and a woman bought her kid housegirl with her. kid was about 12.
When she was asked why the kid was not in school she said the kid was a dunce and failed and she was fed up of paying fees for nothing.
. . . . Of course she will not mention the fact that the kid probably only went to school for 2 days a week and never had any free time to do her school work or study for exams.
At least now she has an excuse not to send the kid to school anymore
Yet the womans kids are studying for their Masters abroad.
It is well.

Yes oh who cares if househelp has Dyslexia and needs help learning? No one oh, na olodo or " demon possessed"

Just like choosing a life partner, May God give us a better house help that will appreciate the importance of there boss gesture towards them....... Sometimes they can be so cruel. I cannot but agree with your assertion

soonest:

Yea! Alot of times but these househelps don't have compassion atimes. Imagine enrolling a help in a private sec sch, d sch fees then was 18000. Books, registration, uniform etc cost 15000. I had to enrol her there cos her educational background was poor n govt sch won't do her much good. After 4weeks she said she wanted to go,that the sch was too stressful, shes always indoors bla bla. It was like film. My investment gone, she didn't even complete a term. So my dear, you can never be their parents just treat them well cos i no support maltreatment.

Rukemi291:
gabinigem....
What else is family planning? is a 2year spacing not family planning enough? I don't want to train kids with pension. I'm still young and this is the best time to have kids so as to focus on my life, my family and career.

I wish to see her to really know the reason for the lies. What exactly chased her from my home?

Sincerely, I am so happy mature minds are here. Reasonably thought out comments. Bless you guys a bunch.

Yes, she's never coming back. NEVER. and really, they should look for me.

you will be surprised that she will has no concrete reason. I had an help who left my house, locked my door and gave my keys to the gate man after 10days of staying with us for 'boredom'. Luckily, i dont leave my child with her...my child then 2 year-old attends a school, i drop her off in the morning and pick her on my way back in the evening. Interestingly, i was 6 months pregnant with my 2nd child then too.

Thank your God that she left. She was not meant for you

Eketem:


Great then contact the poster, she needs a replacement househelp, she will be sent to school, be fed. Make the connection please. Nairaland is great isn't it?


Meanwhile, when we want to buy clothes or shoes we go for the best and ensure it fits and will last but when we want help for our kids we are willing to be as cheap and as crude as possible.

Oops. do help me make d connections as you have all it takes. It seems you want to make a point and you have made it. Haven't you? You are a one-way thinker, who reads only what her mind wants to read. No need going further on this cos it won't let u reason beyond what you have made up your inner mind to see.

If I had said NO, you could still be bickering. So I chose the other. Let those that have issues with giving out their daughters do the worrying. MY Post remains that such little girls cannot fit in and am posting this for others and not you. You always win in arguments and that is not what I came for.

If a mum sends her child to live to someone in a symbiotic relationship that should be the mother's headache. And if d madam cannot benefit from the relationship, it becomes her headache.