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My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by Aminat508(f): 9:18am On Nov 26, 2015
Africa magic Yoruba. undecided


This OP is selfish and very wicked!
Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by flokii: 9:20am On Nov 26, 2015
enstack:

We are of same age
hmmn.. it's more like it..
all that wouldn't be happening of he was like 2-5yrs older
just talk to him.. since you deflowered abi na disvirgined him
Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by timmyblast(m): 9:23am On Nov 26, 2015
Whatever you do, just remember the world does not revolve around you. Don't always expect things to work in your favour. MY ONE CENT...

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by enstack: 9:29am On Nov 26, 2015
Aminat508:
Africa magic Yoruba. undecided
This OP is selfish and very wicked!

Seriously? I am selfish and Wicked? Everywhere i go, he wants to be there! He wanted to accompany me to a women convention(Women Only)! Amongst almost 200 Women very few men were there because its a thing for women not for couples. He threatened to Hang Himself.

So I am selfish because I dont want my husband turning me to his boss and he is my P.A? Sometimes he would hold my purse or handbag and sometimes people would begin to ask "Is he your husband or your driver?"

4 Likes

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by GodnGold: 9:37am On Nov 26, 2015
If this is true,I understand u.But look on the brighter side which is...if he changed to that MAN you want him to be...will you still stay?
Help him work through this by gradually talking to him about it...emphasis on gradually.
Some men are turned on by D and S or even M and S practices.You never know what is in that head of his (no offence).
We're I in ur shoes...I would wear them high heels and rock it...
#myhumbleopinion

1 Like

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by karokit(m): 9:40am On Nov 26, 2015
Wen he stops giving u these attention don't run back here to complain that he found someone else to channel his attention to, deal with it

1 Like

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by Nobody: 9:44am On Nov 26, 2015
.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by Nobody: 9:54am On Nov 26, 2015
enstack:


Seriously? I am selfish and Wicked? Everywhere i go, he wants to be there! He wanted to accompany me to a women convention(Women Only)! Amongst almost 200 Women very few men were there because its a thing for women not for couples. He threatened to Hang Himself.

So I am selfish because I dont want my husband turning me to his boss and he is my P.A? Sometimes he would hold my purse or handbag and sometimes people would begin to ask "Is he your husband or your driver?"


Ooooh i see, the man has some issues, obsessive..... You need to tell him what you dont like and careless if he gets sad like a baby. its for the best. I dont really know the advice to profer, can imagine its really annoying.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by enstack: 9:58am On Nov 26, 2015
chrisbaba1:


If he is obsessive, tell him what you hate and dont care if he gets sad. I just read about a comment u posted above about him threatning to kill himself, now thats nonsensical of him. Did he grow not having a mum??



You should have read that part before commenting
Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by MEILYN(m): 9:59am On Nov 26, 2015
Na wa ooo

1 Like

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by Nobody: 10:03am On Nov 26, 2015
enstack:

Seriously? I am selfish and Wicked? Everywhere i go, he wants to be there! He wanted to accompany me to a women convention(Women Only)! Amongst almost 200 Women very few men were there because its a thing for women not for couples. He threatened to Hang Himself.
So I am selfish because I dont want my husband turning me to his boss and he is my P.A? Sometimes he would hold my purse or handbag and sometimes people would begin to ask "Is he your husband or your driver?"

enstack:

I had to respond to you. Perhaps you are missing the point here. I never said he is too loving or something. If i am to write all the silly things he does in the name of love you wont even be able to read it all. I just put a few.
Even neighbors around have noticed it. They have called me to order many times! His elder sister accused me of giving him a love portion. Its that bad! You call this love? Then I'm sorry i don't want such love anymore. The other day, i asked him to purchase something for me, he had no money, instead of him to talk to me about being short on funds, he went to take a loan to get it. Something that even I dont need so urgently(He is still owing his partner for it)
So sir, read again and understand! Dont be to hasty in talking or commenting. Call me a girl, Its no big deal. After all, this same Man threatened to stand in the middle of the road if i dont accompany him on his field trip. This type of a man can commit suicide if i dont give him what he wants at a given time.

I can imagine how smothered you must feel. Maybe you just refuse to tolerate the things you don't want the suicide threats feels like blackmail to me.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by BabaO2: 10:06am On Nov 26, 2015
Yes, the guy is sick as you rightly mentioned. He's a stup_id boy, he doesn't know that some ladies like his wife are animals and should be treated as such.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by paddybrown(m): 10:07am On Nov 26, 2015
hmmmm dis 1 is strong

1 Like

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by daniska3yaro(m): 10:08am On Nov 26, 2015
commitcrime:
Hmmmmm


Since u want sincere mature advice. I ll oblige u.

You re a fool!

Your husband loves u so much that he dotes on u. All men would normally do that but men like me dated bitches so we transformed and became assholes.

If ur husband worships u. It is normal

It is left for u to take the obeisances in humility and reciprocate.

If u turn him into an asshole. Babe I promise u. You ve lost him forever.

P.S
I realise it is easy being an asshole than a gentleman

#TEAMASSHOLE
just said my mind#

1 Like

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by Nobody: 10:10am On Nov 26, 2015
corneremperor:


optimusprime2 has said it all. This OP needs captain beat-a-wife in her life. She does not deserve the man that she married , and she appears very selfish. "Sometimes if I say no to his advances for sex he would act like I am a wicked woman who has cheated him or rubbed him of his right. He would give me the silent treatment for weeks until I give in" . why would you starve him of sex for weeks??
You then go ahead to say he wants sex daily, which one are we to believe nau? You have contradicted yourself right there. I suggest you take a long hard look in the mirror dear

Although not right for her to deprive him of sex but she is so turned off she can't even fake it. The "love" load is too heavy because a man is acting like an infant does not make him a good man.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by femi4: 10:10am On Nov 26, 2015
enstack:
I had to create a new account just to post this as it's quite sensitive. It's quite lengthy too but I'll be brief. I need mature and friendly advice from people here.

When I first met my husband, it was in a library. We talked briefly and we became close. I have had past relationships in my life so I was careful as possible. I realised that he had no past relationship. He was a typical virgin and was new and I was his first girlfriend. So I felt comfortable with him. He was so kind and loving so I agreed to marry him.

Now it has gotten worse. Everytime he does anything I want without asking questions. At first I enjoyed it but now I'm starting to worry about him as it's getting out of hand. He does not display any act of manliness in the house. He behaves like my puppet or my foot stool. The other day he was watching the soccer game and I just jokingly mentioned how boring it was and I would prefer the faith channel. He changed the channel to the faith channel just like that. Even at work he would be calling me and texting me I am even scared he would loose his job if his employer finds out.

I have no time for myself.. he is always around. Sometimes if I say no to his advances for sex he would act like I am a wicked woman who has cheated him or rubbed him of his right. He would give me the silent treatment for weeks until I give in. On Sunday he insisted on going with me to the salon and it's now embarrassing as every Sunday my mates in the salon would gossip about how my husband is the only man amongst women making their hairs because his wife is there. I try to talk to him but he would feel so sad like I have taken smething away. I don't understand.

If I'm studying at night, he would suddenly begin to romance me and strip me of my clothing without saying anything first when he can see I'm studying. If I rebuke him, he would be very sad. Every time he must have one intimate relation with me everyday and life does not work that way. I don't know if it's immaturity or he is sick mentally. The day I returned home 11pm due to huge traffic jam, I was expecting him to be furious like any other man.. he was with all smiles even offered me water and collected my bag and books. Christ.

I need sincere help. I told his family that I'll file a divorce if this continues as I cannot live like this. It's no longer love but idolatry. I thought it's wives that are submissive.. he is the one submissive. Anything I ask... he grants even silly things. Things that a real man would query before granting.

I am sure that if I ask him to bathe in acid he would do it. I'm sick and tired of this marriage. Just a year. The last quater he gave me his ATM to spend when I went for training in Abuja. When I was spending excessively he was quiet about it until I returned and found it he was broke that i wrecked him. I was wondering what happened to him. Why didn't he talk?

Please Nairalanders what is happening? I love him still and divorce would be my last resort. I need your advice and help on how to fix this because I don't know what to do anymore.

Thank you all.
Madam, you go marry your crush. Funny enough when it come to sex, na you come dey submissive by force.

Anyway, you guys need to see a marriage counsellor. Also, get him busy with other sector of his life

4 Likes

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by odeyemilizzy(f): 10:10am On Nov 26, 2015
Hmmmm, I felt ur pain I understand u perfectly. Buh all thesame he'stryin 2 make u happy alwayz buh he's doin it in d wrong ways. I tink am in such relationship naw guyz try nd under her pls I nt easy 2 cope wit men with low self esteem
Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by olamisowon1(f): 10:11am On Nov 26, 2015
I understand u so well. If I were in your shoe I would feel the same way. I want a caring and understanding man for a husband but I won't appreciate one that will end up choking me- I need my space too. I broke up with a guy for this reason too. I ve a strong personality so I don't need ode for a husband.

I really don't know what you can do cos thats who he is. Just take him as he is. Best of luck.
Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by braine(m): 10:11am On Nov 26, 2015
The man sounds like a good lover, but he's too nice. Women don't like nice guys. He should hang out with his friends more.

Did I just read that he gave you his ATM??!!!!!!

4 Likes

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by allanphash7(m): 10:12am On Nov 26, 2015
Nice one bro




#TEAMASSHOLE
#TEAMDIVORCE
commitcrime:
Hmmmmm


Since u want sincere mature advice. I ll oblige u.

You re a fool!

Your husband loves u so much that he dotes on u. All men would normally do that but men like me dated bitches so we transformed and became assholes.

If ur husband worships u. It is normal

It is left for u to take the obeisances in humility and reciprocate.

If u turn him into an asshole. Babe I promise u. You ve lost him forever.

P.S
I realise it is easy being an asshole than a gentleman

#TEAMASSHOLE

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by Nobody: 10:12am On Nov 26, 2015
Hmmmm what a lucky woman are you and still you're complaining............ You're a woman try to bring him out the way you wishes, we have the grace to change a man to the best. that man loves you unconditionally, that’s what i see. love him back and respect him and be submissive... what he wants every night try to give him more than he wanted even if you need to take some pain relieve later he will be tired of it. Please keep your home safe from Satan interfering. stop reporting him and for those in the salon gossiping you are only jealous of you because i am too, my husband has no time for sex and when you call him it seems you're corrupt can you see the difference?

4 Likes

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by hedonistic: 10:12am On Nov 26, 2015
What your husband needs is to Bleep a few girls outside the marriage. Consuming too much (of one and only one) same pusssy juice makes a man mad.

Advise him to consider an extramarital affair with a younger and more sexy girl than you. That would be the solution to your problem.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by obidaddy: 10:13am On Nov 26, 2015
Terribly low self esteem and inferiority complex syndrome. let him man up or get his ass whooped. cool cool cool

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by squaddy(m): 10:13am On Nov 26, 2015
Can't you all see that this is a fabricated bullshit? No wonder you all have a dullard as president. Use your heads for once mumugerians.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by Acidosis(m): 10:13am On Nov 26, 2015
This is the kind of problem men face when they marry ex oloshos with 56 exes.

I'm pretty sure you've been comparing your husband with one of your hulkogan boyfriends. I'm certain you're missing the kicks and upper-cuts from your ex on campus.


Just a prayer for you, may your husband transform to the monster you want him to be.


You selfishly lavish his money on your trip to Abuja, still he wasn't all mad at you. Would you have preferred a heavy blow on your forehead for that malpractice? What did you even spend the money on? Your ex in Abuja abi?


Yet you boastfully claim you deny him s e x for weeks? Wait a minute, is that how you deny your unaccountable exes s e x?

For Christ sake, that young man has not had many s e x, unlike you the O positive donor and recipient of spe-rm cells. He was a virgin when you met him! He deserves all the s e x, and he is not responsible for the short life span and your sudden retirement! Give it to him woman!

Oh No, you won't retire few years after you got his ring! Do not attract the wrath of his ancestors, okay?!

You guys are married now, it is too late to call your virgin husband a boy or puppet grin

26 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by aprokomanager: 10:13am On Nov 26, 2015
Strahovski:
Op, I feel your pain... I read your post from beginning to end and it can be scary for someone like you. You mentioned studying and training. seems you are furthering your education so I can imagine hw you would fee. But this is it. Also I like how you broke it in paragraphs so it won't look so long a messy. Nice. Many people would misunderstand the op.

Edit: The op is not saying her husband is too loving! Neither is she selfish or wicked. She is even a good person. From her writeup,if she says "Kill yourself" to her husband he would do it. It's not right so those silly comments below should be edited by the silly posters. The man is obsessed. It's dangerous for her very soon it would become obvious in public and you know the society would start accusing her of using metaphysical powers on him. So she wants to fix it now before it advances.

Back to the topic:

In your first/second paragraph you said it all. You were his first love. He was new to romance. And now you are married so he is carried away with it. He wants to make you happy that's all. And I can bet that he has been crushing on you before two of you met one on one. So for him To finally get you, he wants to keep you but he got it all wrong. It's normal in life.. something you have always desired finally comes your way of course you would protect it. So he is acting silly and idolizing you because he wants to keep you around.

I advice you talk to him. Sit him down and explain things to him let him know you love him for the man he is that he does not have to do silly things to please you. He knows it's nt right. I'm sure but he has no choice. So let him knw there is a choice. Give him the assurance you are his forever. That's all
Its just communication. And as for intimacy, he likes you, but you need to let him know that you value your study time and once in a while make the move too. Let him know you too can make the move not him alone so he does not have to do it always. And also there might be something about you that drives hm crazy which he does not want to depart from him.. ask him he will tell you. It could be your eyes, your accent, your voice, or even your fingers or your hair or skin or legs.. talk to him that's my point.

#TeamNoDivorce
nice write-up but e too long jor
Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by instaforexngr(m): 10:13am On Nov 26, 2015
woman, i think you are being ungrateful,
God has given you the best form a husband so many woman pray for,
and you came hear complaining.
would you have preferred if you were his punching bag?
Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by deramarks(f): 10:14am On Nov 26, 2015
U will neva know d value of what u have till u loose it imagine dat u divorce ur husband and he marries another how he wud do d same tin to her nd she'll start usin him for her selfish reasons since u said u still love him I bliv u'll b hurt. A man who has been a virgin all his life till he met up wit u infact u don't even know dat u re lucky* forgive my inability to use d comas nd full stop am in a hurry* ur husband deserves all d attentions he can get from u nd from what uv said ur husband is an introvert he keeps a lot in his mind DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE him love him for who he is nd if u wana change him itz easy! U know two captaims can't b in a ship so u too shud leave some decisions untaken so dat he'll take it. Do not make some moves so dat he'll make it ask him for his opinions in some issues nd try to act a little inferior for him to act superior (but my dear many women wud kill for ur opportunity dat is why GOD placed u wit him instead of others don't divorce him for ur own good
enstack:
I had to ctreate a new account just to post this as it's quite sensitive. It's quite lengthy too but I'll be brief. I need mature and friendly advice from people here.

When I first met my husband, it was in a library. We talked briefly and we became close. I have had past relationships in my life so I was careful as possible. I realised that he had no past relationship. He was a typical virgin and was new and I was his first girlfriend. So I felt comfortable with him. He was so kind and loving so I agreed to marry him.

Now it has gotten worse. Everytime he does anything I want without asking questions. At first I enjoyed it but now I'm starting to worry about him as it's getting out of hand. He does not display any act of manliness in the house. He behaves like my puppet or my foot stool. The other day he was watching the soccer game and I just jokingly mentioned how boring it was and I would prefer the faith channel. He changed the channel to the faith channel just like that. Even at work he would be calling me and texting me I am even scared he would loose his job if his employer finds out.

I have no time for myself.. he is always around. Sometimes if I say no to his advances for sex he would act like I am a wicked woman who has cheated him or rubbed him of his right. He would give me the silent treatment for weeks until I give in. On Sunday he insisted on going with me to the salon and it's now embarrassing as every Sunday my mates in the salon would gossip about how my husband is the only man amongst women making their hairs because his wife is there. I try to talk to him but he would feel so sad like I have taken smething away. I don't understand.

If I'm studying at night, he would suddenly begin to romance me and strip me of my clothing without saying anything first when he can see I'm studying. If I rebuke him, he would be very sad. Every time he must have one intimate relation with me everyday and life does not work that way. I don't know if it's immaturity or he is sick mentally. The day I returned home 11pm due to huge traffic jam, I was expecting him to be furious like any other man.. he was with all smiles even offered me water and collected my bag and books. Christ.

I need sincere help. I told his family that I'll file a divorce if this continues as I cannot live like this. It's no longer love but idolatry. I thought it's wives that are submissive.. he is the one submissive. Anything I ask... he grants even silly things. Things that a real man would query before granting.

I am sure that if I ask him to bathe in acid he would do it. I'm sick and tired of this marriage. Just a year. The last quater he gave me his ATM to spend when I went for training in Abuja. When I was spending excessively he was quiet about it until I returned and found it he was broke that i wrecked him. I was wondering what happened to him. Why didn't he talk?

Please Nairalanders what is happening? I love him still and divorce would be my last resort. I need your advice and help on how to fix this because I don't know what to do anymore.

Thank you all.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by adenugakenny: 10:14am On Nov 26, 2015
Seek spiritual assistance.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by wemmi(f): 10:14am On Nov 26, 2015
@Op..I really don't why u are here.You shud be having this conversation with him.Marriage is suppose to be a personal rlshp not sumthing u sun dry on Nl for kids and immature ones to say all sort of trash.please talk to him.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help by streetzdreamz(m): 10:15am On Nov 26, 2015
commitcrime:
Hmmmmm


Since u want sincere mature advice. I ll oblige u.

You re a fool!

Your husband loves u so much that he dotes on u. All men would normally do that but men like me dated bitches so we transformed and became assholes.

If ur husband worships u. It is normal

It is left for u to take the obeisances in humility and reciprocate.

If u turn him into an asshole. Babe I promise u. You ve lost him forever.

P.S
I realise it is easy being an asshole than a gentleman

#TEAMASSHOLE
may you be blessed by what ever deity you worship,heck!! you have said it all,I read the story and it reeks of foolishness and stupidity on the ladies part,the guy was a naive,sweet guy who has no experience whatsoever in relating with ladies,he prolly went outa his real self to please this ungrateful woman,now she screaming he doting,and she thinks he is mentally unstable,talk about women and their fish brains,must you wait for your hubby to talk you into intimacy??a sane woman who knows this repeated pattern of her hubby will initiate sex first, with time the hubby won't demand for sex as he used to,in ma post earlier this morning this issue sufficed,you people just get married for stupid reasons,then you start screaming bloody murder,he gave you his card,you spent extravagantly,you came home late,he welcomed you with open arms,say;he screamed down your torso you'd label him a miser,he beats you blue back upon your return,you tag him a beast with no understanding,now reverse is the case and you screaming??ladies always tell me how hard,insensitive i am to their plights,they think its wickedness,but they are irritating bloody creatures whose wants is definitely insatiable,and they tend to lose their sanity when a man treats em better than they treat emsefs,I wish the guy sees this and dumps your metallic ass!!!

3 Likes

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