On my BBM, I get alot of adds by men and women who have issues to talk about and need either a listening ear or good advice, I do this as my way of contributing to people's lives though I face many challenges of my own without anybody to speak to, which I find terrible. Anyway, yesterday was a terrible day for me cos a person died, and distance can't make me reach out to the person I care about for comfort, nevertheless I still will do my duty as a big ear and confidant. The issue now is that am not really myself today and can't really think properly, so instead of giving wrong advise, I preferred to bring it here and hopefully get other opinions.

A young man on this forum mailed me on an issue he is currently going through and confused about. Apparently he has been dating his fiance for awhile but recently she had to give up her Job to tend to her ailing father. Since she moved back home, the relationship has strained a bit, with quarrels and disagreements occurring more frequently, thus he said they quarrelled on Tuesday last week and didn't call one another all through till on Thursday evening when she called repetitedly where upon realising he wasn't picking up she decided to text him, informing him to come to Abuja immediately to see her cos something was wrong (she didn't specify Wat exactly) . the young man confided in me that he could have gone but apparently he had another lady over at home (his fiance ex-colleague), they been sleeping together as it were for awhile. Since he didn't respond to the text nor return the call, she sent him a message telling him they should take a break from the relationship, he responded in kind telling her how fed up he was with her sometimes overbearing attitude and being a control freak. He felt he had to respond like that being that it was unfair for her to order he came to Abuja without first inquiring about his availability, this he felt, tilll he got a text from her younger sister thanking him for waiting for their father to die and then breaking up with her sister on the same day. He was shocked at that news as she never mentioned that. He never realised her abrupt call to him was a reach out for emotional comfort because her father just gave up the ghost, he has tried calling her all to no avail, her mum has told him to stay away from her daughter since he could be so wicked and callous to end the relationship the same day her father died. He has tried to explain but nobody seems to listen, he needs advice on how to go about getting her back, cos her sorrow has reminded him how much he loved her.

I told him to travel physically as things are more difficult to handle over the phone, I believe that situation might be unsalvageable, but hey am not thinking straight. So Wat do u think I should tell him.

I used to know someone like him from nairaland, confused person ........He should just apologise to her in person and hope she understands.....but if she does not,he should move on,that is the consequences of his actions

He's a Fool na...

Tell him it's too late...while his gf was mourning over her father's death,there he is f*cking ard & cheating behind his gf's back...
He don't deserved her..he thinks nothing but his eggplant

so she be acting all shady & expecting him to just come running to wherever she is with no concrete reason?

make she shift make we see road jare.

I trust u

misspicy:
I used to know someone like him from nairaland, confused person ........He should just apologise to her in person and hope she understands.....but if she does not,he should move on,that is the consequences of his actions

iceberylin:
He's a Fool na...

lolz...but y na?

NONSENSE, he did what he believe was right at the time, and since the gal didnt think it was necessary to tell him about her dad's passing, then he is not at fault here. as much as her father's passing is a sad thing, that certainly shouldnt be a reason to stay with someone out of PITY.

KashyBaby:
Tell him it's too late...while his gf was mourning over her father's death,there he is f*cking ard & cheating behind his gf's back...
He don't deserved her..he thinks nothing but his eggplant

pls what's eggplant

Simply send her condolence messages. Shikena.


You said it is over, it is over.

An adage says it is one that is wearing the shoe that knows were it pinches or pains mostly. I understand hw bad distance causes problems in relationships,let's not be biased here, the Guy was probably angry at her by the time the lady in question called. She made sum mistakes on her own part. No matter what always take time 2 ask ur partner how he/she is faring, it douses a lot of tension., letting d guy know y she needed him would av also made d guy respond in another way, can sum1 just hit the road and start Goin 2 abuja like that. If sumthin should happen now, they Wil say it's a woman that killed him.. They both made their mistakes. Let him go physically and render his unreserved apology, and if she refuses., well the truth will always come UP . OR the lady in question needed an excuse 2 breakup with him.. And she got 1

In this case, there is basically nothing to remedy in the relationship. He should just move on because he doesn't deserve that kind of girl. based on your write up, the girl left to care for her dad, that alone shows that this same girl can care for him in future should he require help. Not all girls can abandon their job for their father's sake, if you doubt me ask the Naira land ladies.

Though I believe that is not all that is required in a relationship. but him cheating with someone the girl friend already knew, that is enough for you OP,to call a spade a spade and advice him that he belong out there, in the wild............

Oh!!!, before I forget, Tell your friend not to worry about the girl's emotion, because there is no better way of breaking up that is pain free.

I don't want to appear like am taking sides but the guy is not a mind reader. He couldn't possibly know what she was going through.
It was just a case of bad timing.
If the guy can, he should go see her and pls don't tell her you are sleeping with her ex colleague. Don't tell her yet........................................that's rubbing salt into the already open wound.

Still getting opinions though, at least from what I have read so far it appears alot of u agree with me on meeting her physically rather than through the phone, though you lot are divided on whether the relationship is still worth fighting for, the men are emphasising he isn't a mind reader and could not have known, while the ladies and some men are regarding him a cheating partner who didn't care to be aa better partner. Will await more opinions as that determines if truly his intention at trying to salvage the relationship is worthwhile. Hearty thanks to the contributors, you are great, lalasticlala need more insight. Thanks

He doesnt deserve her.

What could be more painful?

Abandoning,cheating and breaking up with your partner the day her father died.

Of course he didnt know the father died,so whats the excuse for the others?

Some Girls will Think Guys are Mind Reader
Rubbish

Moz22:
pls what's eggplant

His sugarcane oooo..Lol

Eddygourdo:
Still getting opinions though, at least from what I have read so far it appears alot of u agree with me on meeting her physically rather than through the phone, though you lot are divided on whether the relationship is still worth fighting for, the men are emphasising he isn't a mind reader and could not have known, while the ladies and some men are regarding him a cheating partner who didn't care to be aa better partner. Will await more opinions as that determines if truly his intention at trying to salvage the relationship is worthwhile. Hearty thanks to the contributors, you are great, lalasticlala need more insight. Thanks

dont let pity cloud your judgment... if she was useless to you before her father died, then she should continue be just that now. trying to be with her again because her father died is a waste of time, because guess what?! she is still the same fukced up person you cant stand.
send your condolences and wish her a quick recovery.

btw does your above reply means that this story is about YOU?! lol

MRBrownJ:


dont let pity cloud your judgment... if she was useless to you before her father died, then she should continue be just that now. trying to be with her again because her father died is a waste of time, because guess what?! she is still the same fukced up person you cant stand.
send your condolences and wish her a quick recovery.

btw does your above reply means that this story is about YOU?! lol

if you have ever come across my threads you will realise that if it's me, I will simply say so. There is no shame in admission. But it's the story of a fella who is very popular here apparently on nairaland. But won't share this via his account