sherrylo:


Abike dear you are going the wrong way!
In marriage especially the Yoruba ones you are married to your in laws more.I have been in marriage for like 8yrs now with 3kids and I am telling you dear you will always need your in laws both younger and older ones pls.

The girl in question I believe this is her first time in your house, pls don't give her the I own my home attitude because when she gets home she will definitely have so much to talk about you and believe me that's the beginning of the end. Yes you cannot please every one but you have to have more than half of your inlaws on your side to be able to hold the storm in a Yoruba marriage. Its our culture Darling!

Now stop comparing your relatives to your inlaws they are not the same. You're the Iyawo in this case and you have to always start the friendship with any of your in law so as to be on a good grounds with them cos you will always need them when the man begins to be a "Man". Involve the girl when you're doing somethings even if you don't need help just go like "aunty lagbaja let's sit out here together, aunty tamedu come and help me make this eba edakun" call her before you get home
"Iya Oko mi pls I am on my way home put water on the fire for me" and see as things will change afterall she will be leaving soon abi?

babeabike:


Thanks,

On issue of picking her up,maybe ppl got me wrong because I didn't expatiate the reason behind my hesitation.Just 3 weeks ago that my mum came to Lagos n was about 3km away from our house,I suggested we pick her up which he outrightly declined that she should take her cab that he could not go out because of heavy traffic

This is my mum who always come to Lagos with her car and had never asked for such favours.She had helped bring all our wedding gifts in bits on each of her journey down.Even brought food stuffs on some occasions.And then my husband declined and I had to drive down at about 9pm with my protruding tummy all alone to bring in my mum.

Tell me how would I react to his volunteer to go bring the girl from over 50km away during festive season(with so much traffic in town) after refusing to pick my own mum that has BN supportive and relevant to us.And now there was more traffic in town than the day my mum came around.Who deserved bn picked up? Someone from a journey or someone within Lagos?

babeabike:
Here is my story ;

I got married early this year and I'm heavily pregnant (38weeks).Since we got married its been only my family and friends visiting that had to spend the night.Aside my MIL who comes like every other week to help and look out for me,none of my husband's fam Av had to spend the night.

Then last week my hubby informed me that his paternal cousin will be spending Xmas season with us.I first got pissed when he said he will be going to pick her from their place.I said maka why a girl of 18.but told him if he insisted, he can go ahead to do d pick up even though I found it unreasonable.

Since the girl arrived on Thurs,she seats like a queen in my living room while I sweat out in my kitchen(note I'm heavily pregnant).And when food is ready,my husband calls out for her to pick her food.Then yesternight, I said I'm not hungry and of cos tired and since the house is full of food,she should go and cook whatever she likes because of that she went to bed without eating.

Since that yesterday she started locking herself in the room.imagine? This morning she woke up forming stomach pain,so my MIL who came around did all the chores including cooking.

To cut the long story short.if this girl was my family,I would Av called her to order. But I've decided to be quite because definitely this is her first and last opportunity to visit.

My mum has been here severely since I took in and when she comes,she helps with all d chores inclusive cooking(note,she is a senior lecturer,no b say she jobless oooh).Even when my elder sister passed a night sometimes ago,she helped out inclusive folding all my husband's cloths(note she is married and also gainfully employed).That's just to mention a few of my ppl,others are my sis in law,cousins and even my friends.They never sit and watch me sweat out,talkless of a small girl.

I'm already thinking making up my mind that aside my Parents in-law,I may not entertain all those young cousins and relatives from my husband's side because I cannot take such shits.because if it wasn't holiday,would she wait for me everyday from work(after driving in Lagos traffic) to come cook for her without giving a helping hand.

Maybe its just my take but for me this is one of those obvious reasons wives bar husband's fam from coming around

gost:
Then last week my hubby informed me that his paternal cousin will be spending Xmas season with us.I first got pissed when he said he will be going to pick her from their place.I said maka why a girl of 18.but told him if he insisted, he can go ahead to do d pick up even though I found it unreasonable

Women of nowadays! I can autoritatively tell you that before this girl came, you have a bad motive against her, and from your write up you do not like your inlaws, not because they are bad but because you do not trust them or you are not comfortable around them.

Truth be told, no matter what that girl do in that house, in the form of chores, cooking, erands, cleaning etc, you will never like her as long as she is your husbands relative. It is not the girls fault, you are just manifesting who you really are. (A WOMAN WHO HATES HER INLAWS BEFORE EVEN METTING HER HUSBAND).
My wifes best friend have always wished to marry a man whose mother is late, even as a tenager. God answered her prayers and today she got married to a man who lost his mum early in life. she (my wifes friend) now has a 3 year old son. what if her future daugther inlaw wants her death too before her wedding to her son! BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!
Most times i do not blame you women for hating your inlaws. I blame your weak husbands who allow you to devalue their relatives.
If you really wants to live an inlaw free live, please do not get married, or better still find a husband who is an ophan.
As long as you are married to a man or woman who grew up in a family and have relatives they must inconvienence you, and where ever humans are there must be problems, as a mature person you must find a way to solve your problems and not outrigthly trowing them (your inlaws) out.
THE REASON WHY MY WIVE HAS TO VALUE ALL MY RELATIVES WHETHER SHE LIKES IT OR NOT IS BECAUSE IF I WERE A NOBODY SHE WOULD NOT HAVE MARRIED ME. MY FAMILY, BOTH NUCLEAR AND EXTENDED ALL CONTRIBUTED TO MAKE ME A BETTER PERSON. I ALSO TREAT HER PEOPLE WELL AND WELCOME THEM TO MY HOUSE AT ALL TIMES.

babeabike:
Here is my story ;

I got married early this year and I'm heavily pregnant (38weeks).Since we got married its been only my family and friends visiting that had to spend the night.Aside my MIL who comes like every other week to help and look out for me,none of my husband's fam Av had to spend the night.

Then last week my hubby informed me that his paternal cousin will be spending Xmas season with us.I first got pissed when he said he will be going to pick her from their place.I said maka why a girl of 18.but told him if he insisted, he can go ahead to do d pick up even though I found it unreasonable.

Since the girl arrived on Thurs,she seats like a queen in my living room while I sweat out in my kitchen(note I'm heavily pregnant).And when food is ready,my husband calls out for her to pick her food.Then yesternight, I said I'm not hungry and of cos tired and since the house is full of food,she should go and cook whatever she likes because of that she went to bed without eating.

Since that yesterday she started locking herself in the room.imagine? This morning she woke up forming stomach pain,so my MIL who came around did all the chores including cooking.

To cut the long story short.if this girl was my family,I would Av called her to order. But I've decided to be quite because definitely this is her first and last opportunity to visit.

My mum has been here severely since I took in and when she comes,she helps with all d chores inclusive cooking(note,she is a senior lecturer,no b say she jobless oooh).Even when my elder sister passed a night sometimes ago,she helped out inclusive folding all my husband's cloths(note she is married and also gainfully employed).That's just to mention a few of my ppl,others are my sis in law,cousins and even my friends.They never sit and watch me sweat out,talkless of a small girl.

I'm already thinking making up my mind that aside my Parents in-law,I may not entertain all those young cousins and relatives from my husband's side because I cannot take such shits.because if it wasn't holiday,would she wait for me everyday from work(after driving in Lagos traffic) to come cook for her without giving a helping hand.

Maybe its just my take but for me this is one of those obvious reasons wives bar husband's fam from coming around

babeabike:


Did I say in my post that I needed a cleaner?

Been reserved doesn't mean ill mannered.

I work with a multinational and sometimes you find yourself doing some cultural things you wouldn't have thought should exist in such environment.You don't want to find yourself telling them "me ooo I am who I am and cant change for anything,I relate with only those I'm cool with" It will only suggest u don't fit into their values n system

As a guest too,you should attempt to make your stay a memorable one for your host.You don't just watch tv,eat,lock urself in the room till the next meal and on and on.Why u no stay your house?

babeabike:


Thanks,

On issue of picking her up,maybe ppl got me wrong because I didn't expatiate the reason behind my hesitation.Just 3 weeks ago that my mum came to Lagos n was about 3km away from our house,I suggested we pick her up which he outrightly declined that she should take her cab that he could not go out because of heavy traffic

This is my mum who always come to Lagos with her car and had never asked for such favours.She had helped bring all our wedding gifts in bits on each of her journey down.Even brought food stuffs on some occasions.And then my husband declined and I had to drive down at about 9pm with my protruding tummy all alone to bring in my mum.

Tell me how would I react to his volunteer to go bring the girl from over 50km away during festive season(with so much traffic in town) after refusing to pick my own mum that has BN supportive and relevant to us.And now there was more traffic in town than the day my mum came around.Who deserved bn picked up? Someone from a journey or someone within Lagos?

classicB:

Keep ranting then my dear sister. The girl you are angry with doesn't even care or know wether u r angry or not. Instead of you to talk to her u brought your frustrated self on here as if na we go help you talk to her. The girl hasn't stayed for 48hrs and all you can say about her is ill. The truth is you never wanted her to come and no matter what she does to please you u will still find fault. We know your type

babeabike:


Aunty,no grudge whatsoever faaa..

If I call her to do things which she obviously feels she should not, they may start circulating around their family now that I was ordering her about.

Funniest part of it,I no get anything to do for house,I have someone who comes around to do it.When my mother in law was trying to do some cleaning, she attempted to help but she refused so obviously I know its an intentional act watching me sweat cook while she relaxes

As for inlaws coming,I wont tell them with mouth not to come but will simply lock up.Shebi they wont come and sleep on my bed in my room.

If the wife is not warm and receptive,inlaws will back off themselves

Siena:
It's all well and good for you guys to berate the thread starter, a pregnant woman. As for those who are saying you're married to your inlaws too, you need them etc.

I can honestly say many of you know EXACTLY what the thread starter is on about, and where she's coming from, you just refuse to acknowledge what is glaringly obvious. This teen WAS being obstinate, bringing her bad manners from her own home to that of her hosts. The fact remains inlaws CAN be a pain in the posterior. I do NOT feel an 18-year-old girl needs to be asked for help in the home of her host. It's common sense.

Jeeze, in Nigeria, you would see a stranger in the street, struggling to lift a stack of firewood onto her head, or a comparably light bucket of water. It is pretty common to offer help to lift this load, in most cases, we do it without being asked! So tell me, why would this teen NEED to be asked to render assistance to her pregnant host, who is also a relative?

My myself and my wife have been on the receiving end of similar, where a house guest (a good friend of hers) would sit with her laptop, or hog the TV remote, not stirring till food was ready. She had her own bathroom, yet would NOT clean it up, leaving my wife to sort out the mess. She just did NOTHING! How old was this girl?

She was 30!

I can see inlaws CAN be useful, but I can also see they can be the world's biggest meddlers, who can seriously raise cain in your marital home, if you let them. This is also one of the reasons myself and my wife do NOT have inlaws from either side stay over for any length of time. The longest has been 3 nights, and that is more than enough.

babeabike:



Ok ma. You need know the meaning of "ranting and frustration"

You mentioned"anger" angry with a girl I took out?

You are not married yet soo I no blame you or maybe you never even had opportunity of hosting ppl in your home while growing up so you can never get the picture

babeabike:
Here is my story ;

I got married early this year and I'm heavily pregnant (38weeks).Since we got married its been only my family and friends visiting that had to spend the night.Aside my MIL who comes like every other week to help and look out for me,none of my husband's fam Av had to spend the night.

Then last week my hubby informed me that his paternal cousin will be spending Xmas season with us.I first got pissed when he said he will be going to pick her from their place.I said maka why a girl of 18.but told him if he insisted, he can go ahead to do d pick up even though I found it unreasonable.

Since the girl arrived on Thurs,she seats like a queen in my living room while I sweat out in my kitchen(note I'm heavily pregnant).And when food is ready,my husband calls out for her to pick her food.Then yesternight, I said I'm not hungry and of cos tired and since the house is full of food,she should go and cook whatever she likes because of that she went to bed without eating.

Since that yesterday she started locking herself in the room.imagine? This morning she woke up forming stomach pain,so my MIL who came around did all the chores including cooking.

To cut the long story short.if this girl was my family,I would Av called her to order. But I've decided to be quite because definitely this is her first and last opportunity to visit.

My mum has been here severely since I took in and when she comes,she helps with all d chores inclusive cooking(note,she is a senior lecturer,no b say she jobless oooh).Even when my elder sister passed a night sometimes ago,she helped out inclusive folding all my husband's cloths(note she is married and also gainfully employed).That's just to mention a few of my ppl,others are my sis in law,cousins and even my friends.They never sit and watch me sweat out,talkless of a small girl.

I'm already thinking making up my mind that aside my Parents in-law,I may not entertain all those young cousins and relatives from my husband's side because I cannot take such shits.because if it wasn't holiday,would she wait for me everyday from work(after driving in Lagos traffic) to come cook for her without giving a helping hand.

Maybe its just my take but for me this is one of those obvious reasons wives bar husband's fam from coming around

babeabike:
Here is my story ;

I got married early this year and I'm heavily pregnant (38weeks).Since we got married its been only my family and friends visiting that had to spend the night.Aside my MIL who comes like every other week to help and look out for me,none of my husband's fam Av had to spend the night.

Then last week my hubby informed me that his paternal cousin will be spending Xmas season with us.I first got pissed when he said he will be going to pick her from their place.I said maka why a girl of 18.but told him if he insisted, he can go ahead to do d pick up even though I found it unreasonable.

Since the girl arrived on Thurs,she seats like a queen in my living room while I sweat out in my kitchen(note I'm heavily pregnant).And when food is ready,my husband calls out for her to pick her food.Then yesternight, I said I'm not hungry and of cos tired and since the house is full of food,she should go and cook whatever she likes because of that she went to bed without eating.

Since that yesterday she started locking herself in the room.imagine? This morning she woke up forming stomach pain,so my MIL who came around did all the chores including cooking.

To cut the long story short.if this girl was my family,I would Av called her to order. But I've decided to be quite because definitely this is her first and last opportunity to visit.

My mum has been here severely since I took in and when she comes,she helps with all d chores inclusive cooking(note,she is a senior lecturer,no b say she jobless oooh).Even when my elder sister passed a night sometimes ago,she helped out inclusive folding all my husband's cloths(note she is married and also gainfully employed).That's just to mention a few of my ppl,others are my sis in law,cousins and even my friends.They never sit and watch me sweat out,talkless of a small girl.

I'm already thinking making up my mind that aside my Parents in-law,I may not entertain all those young cousins and relatives from my husband's side because I cannot take such shits.because if it wasn't holiday,would she wait for me everyday from work(after driving in Lagos traffic) to come cook for her without giving a helping hand.

Maybe its just my take but for me this is one of those obvious reasons wives bar husband's fam from coming around

babeabike:


Thanks,

On issue of picking her up,maybe ppl got me wrong because I didn't expatiate the reason behind my hesitation.Just 3 weeks ago that my mum came to Lagos n was about 3km away from our house,I suggested we pick her up which he outrightly declined that she should take her cab that he could not go out because of heavy traffic

This is my mum who always come to Lagos with her car and had never asked for such favours.She had helped bring all our wedding gifts in bits on each of her journey down.Even brought food stuffs on some occasions.And then my husband declined and I had to drive down at about 9pm with my protruding tummy all alone to bring in my mum.

Tell me how would I react to his volunteer to go bring the girl from over 50km away during festive season(with so much traffic in town) after refusing to pick my own mum that has BN supportive and relevant to us.And now there was more traffic in town than the day my mum came around.Who deserved bn picked up? Someone from a journey or someone within Lagos?

Mindfulness:


@Babeabike

You had a problem with her coming over ever since you received the news of her coming. You have not been expecting her arrival warm-heartedly because she is 18 and because you are pregnant. These are not reasons enough to refuse to accommodate your husband's family for a few days.

Remember that hospitality is a virtue and that attitude is everything. You could have controlled the circumstances to your advantage instead of letting them control you to your disadvantage.

Imagine a scenario in which you would have welcomed this young girl nicely and openly showing her around your kitchen and asking her to lend you a hand while cooking with her. She would have gladly assisted you. A heartily smile is beautiful and would go a long way. You could have also taught her how burdensome a pregnancy can be making her more careful in her formative years. Some chatting here and there and a good laugh and your meal would have tasted much better. What a nice home that would be ...

Siena:
It's all well and good for you guys to berate the thread starter, a pregnant woman. As for those who are saying you're married to your inlaws too, you need them etc.

I can honestly say many of you know EXACTLY what the thread starter is on about, and where she's coming from, you just refuse to acknowledge what is glaringly obvious. This teen WAS being obstinate, bringing her bad manners from her own home to that of her hosts. The fact remains inlaws CAN be a pain in the posterior. I do NOT feel an 18-year-old girl needs to be asked for help in the home of her host. It's common sense.

Jeeze, in Nigeria, you would see a stranger in the street, struggling to lift a stack of firewood onto her head, or a comparably light bucket of water. It is pretty common to offer help to lift this load, in most cases, we do it without being asked! So tell me, why would this teen NEED to be asked to render assistance to her pregnant host, who is also a relative?

My myself and my wife have been on the receiving end of similar, where a house guest (a good friend of hers) would sit with her laptop, or hog the TV remote, not stirring till food was ready. She had her own bathroom, yet would NOT clean it up, leaving my wife to sort out the mess. She just did NOTHING! How old was this girl?

She was 30!

I can see inlaws CAN be useful, but I can also see they can be the world's biggest meddlers, who can seriously raise cain in your marital home, if you let them. This is also one of the reasons myself and my wife do NOT have inlaws from either side stay over for any length of time. The longest has been 3 nights, and that is more than enough.

yetseyi:
I took my time to read the whole story and a lot of us are not being realistic.

Its good enough when a host makes the home hospitable for a guest but shouldn't guests learn how to be nice visitors? And for the "she is just a spoilt teenager" part I do not agree she knows exactly what she is doing, If she is wise enough to help the Mother in Law then she knows she should help the pregnant lady at least to wash plates, is she expecting her to ask her to wash plates or clean up or just stay around with her in the kitchen while cooking, It is all this it is my brother's house mentality that is affecting her.

The hubby even asked her to help aunty in the kitchen still no improvement. I do not even know how she can sit comfortably while babeabike is waddling around with a 38week pregnancy in the kitchen or doing something else without even offering to assist HABA! I really cannot understand how some people do not see anything wrong with this.

I was once 18 and I have visited cousins and and stayed with their wives and by default I know I should help.

Her case is not even a case of poor upbringing, If she knows she should help mum in law then she is not spoilt she just feels ohh I shouldn't help shes my bro's wife. It is even girls like her that you will ask to help and they will go and report your matter to the family that you are giving them work to do.

So because a heavily preggy woman couldn't cook and told you to help yourself in the kitchen you do not eat that night and lock yourself in your room since then.

Like i always so do unto others what you want to be done to you.

OP just dont give yourself headache ooo do not even think about it. Just do what you can, when you can and be nice.

yetseyi:
I took my time to read the whole story and a lot of us are not being realistic.

Its good enough when a host makes the home hospitable for a guest but shouldn't guests learn how to be nice visitors? And for the "she is just a spoilt teenager" part I do not agree she knows exactly what she is doing, she knows she should help the pregnant lady at least to wash plates, is she expecting her to ask her to wash plates or clean up or just stay around with her in the kitchen while cooking, It is all this it is my brother's house mentality that is affecting her.

The hubby even asked her to help aunty in the kitchen still no improvement. I do not even know how she can sit comfortably while babeabike is waddling around with a 38week pregnancy in the kitchen or doing something else without even offering to assist HABA! I really cannot understand how some people do not see anything wrong with this.

I was once 18 and I have visited cousins and and stayed with their wives and by default I know I should help.

Her case may not even be a case of poor upbringing, she might just feel ohh I shouldn't help shes my bro's wife. It is even girls like her that you will ask to help and they will go and report your matter to the family that you are giving them work to do.

So because a heavily preggy woman couldn't cook and told you to help yourself in the kitchen you do not eat that night and lock yourself in your room since then.

Like i always so do unto others what you want to be done to you. Just like i always say when my cousins try to have that its my brothers house mentality with their brothers wife.

OP just dont give yourself headache ooo do not even think about it. Just do what you can, when you can and be nice.

babeabike:


Thanks my dear sis for taking out time to read all through.

I am happy people like you understand the angle I'm coming from.

Funnily I still got to wash all the plates we used for yesterday's breakfast inclusive hers.I made pando yam when she told me she didn't like amala for lunch that I was to prepare initially.And of course I did all the plate and pot washing.

But this morning, no paparazzi,I just stick to my work reports and washing.And everybody had to find food for themselves.And now in the hospital for my Antenatal

Compliments sis

Shymm3x:

Yetseyi my Ijebu sister.
I've been looking for you.

gost:
Then last week my hubby informed me that his paternal cousin will be spending Xmas season with us.I first got pissed when he said he will be going to pick her from their place.I said maka why a girl of 18.but told him if he insisted, he can go ahead to do d pick up even though I found it unreasonable

Women of nowadays! I can autoritatively tell you that before this girl came, you have a bad motive against her, and from your write up you do not like your inlaws, not because they are bad but because you do not trust them or you are not comfortable around them.

Truth be told, no matter what that girl do in that house, in the form of chores, cooking, erands, cleaning etc, you will never like her as long as she is your husbands relative. It is not the girls fault, you are just manifesting who you really are. (A WOMAN WHO HATES HER INLAWS BEFORE EVEN METTING HER HUSBAND).
My wifes best friend have always wished to marry a man whose mother is late, even as a tenager. God answered her prayers and today she got married to a man who lost his mum early in life. she (my wifes friend) now has a 3 year old son. what if her future daugther inlaw wants her death too before her wedding to her son! BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!
Most times i do not blame you women for hating your inlaws. I blame your weak husbands who allow you to devalue their relatives.
If you really wants to live an inlaw free live, please do not get married, or better still find a husband who is an ophan.
As long as you are married to a man or woman who grew up in a family and have relatives they must inconvienence you, and where ever humans are there must be problems, as a mature person you must find a way to solve your problems and not outrigthly trowing them (your inlaws) out.
THE REASON WHY MY WIVE HAS TO VALUE ALL MY RELATIVES WHETHER SHE LIKES IT OR NOT IS BECAUSE IF I WERE A NOBODY SHE WOULD NOT HAVE MARRIED ME. MY FAMILY, BOTH NUCLEAR AND EXTENDED ALL CONTRIBUTED TO MAKE ME A BETTER PERSON. I ALSO TREAT HER PEOPLE WELL AND WELCOME THEM TO MY HOUSE AT ALL TIMES.

cococandy:
Why not just open up and tell her what you expect of her instead of dragging issues with her? She probably feels like a guest and not very free to do as she would in her own family home. Besides she's only 18. Shouldn't you be more mature?

Imagine how you'd feel if your husband exhibits this kind of non-tolerant attitude towards your own relatives. Remember the house belongs to both of you, not you alone. So you can't be 'only my relatives' about it.

I just noticed you're already biased towards the girl even before she came. If not, you won't have problems with your DH going to pick her up from their home. If that's more convenient, why not?

Yes I know pregnant women tend to get tired easily. Still you have to try and be a good hostess. When you're just too tired, tell them you're and let them know how to go about fixing themselves up instead of exhibiting anger towards your guest.

gost:
Then last week my hubby informed me that his paternal cousin will be spending Xmas season with us.I first got pissed when he said he will be going to pick her from their place.I said maka why a girl of 18.but told him if he insisted, he can go ahead to do d pick up even though I found it unreasonable

Women of nowadays! I can autoritatively tell you that before this girl came, you have a bad motive against her, and from your write up you do not like your inlaws, not because they are bad but because you do not trust them or you are not comfortable around them.

Truth be told, no matter what that girl do in that house, in the form of chores, cooking, erands, cleaning etc, you will never like her as long as she is your husbands relative. It is not the girls fault, you are just manifesting who you really are. (A WOMAN WHO HATES HER INLAWS BEFORE EVEN METTING HER HUSBAND).
My wifes best friend have always wished to marry a man whose mother is late, even as a tenager. God answered her prayers and today she got married to a man who lost his mum early in life. she (my wifes friend) now has a 3 year old son. what if her future daugther inlaw wants her death too before her wedding to her son! BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!
Most times i do not blame you women for hating your inlaws. I blame your weak husbands who allow you to devalue their relatives.
If you really wants to live an inlaw free live, please do not get married, or better still find a husband who is an ophan.
As long as you are married to a man or woman who grew up in a family and have relatives they must inconvienence you, and where ever humans are there must be problems, as a mature person you must find a way to solve your problems and not outrigthly trowing them (your inlaws) out.
THE REASON WHY MY WIVE HAS TO VALUE ALL MY RELATIVES WHETHER SHE LIKES IT OR NOT IS BECAUSE IF I WERE A NOBODY SHE WOULD NOT HAVE MARRIED ME. MY FAMILY, BOTH NUCLEAR AND EXTENDED ALL CONTRIBUTED TO MAKE ME A BETTER PERSON. I ALSO TREAT HER PEOPLE WELL AND WELCOME THEM TO MY HOUSE AT ALL TIMES.

classicB:

That i am not married doesnt mean i am dumb. U host your families/relatives and your husband doesnt cause trouble, but you cannot take in your inlaws, just because u feel you own the house and you can decide who to come or go. It might not be easy but she isnt staying forever, give her time to get used to you and u will be surprised by how responsible she is. If she had enter your kitchen and "feel at home" then u will create a thread on how ur inlaw is pokenosing and going where u didnt send her, now she wants you to tell her what to do. Youre pregnant you should not worry yourself over minor things, my sister hostel her sister-in-law for more than two yearsin her marriage and today the lady is married. If my sister was like you, she would have probably died of hypertension

lovaleenny:


Ur rant is actually baseless...assuming d girl entered ur kitchen to cook her food u will still find issues with it...she's a guest...u expect all guests to come into ur home,cook and clean all ur clothes and what not seriously? D ppl u mentioned are close family so they wud do it outta love but u and d babe sef no close and u expect her to be all chummy and start doing all chores...o ga o...some women need serious brain resetting...den u brought it to NL like we r suppose to praise u or go beat d girl or better still abuse ur hubby for allowing her to come to ur home...some women be finding issues where there's none since 1800

gost:
Then last week my hubby informed me that his paternal cousin will be spending Xmas season with us.I first got pissed when he said he will be going to pick her from their place.I said maka why a girl of 18.but told him if he insisted, he can go ahead to do d pick up even though I found it unreasonable

Women of nowadays! I can autoritatively tell you that before this girl came, you have a bad motive against her, and from your write up you do not like your inlaws, not because they are bad but because you do not trust them or you are not comfortable around them.

Truth be told, no matter what that girl do in that house, in the form of chores, cooking, erands, cleaning etc, you will never like her as long as she is your husbands relative. It is not the girls fault, you are just manifesting who you really are. (A WOMAN WHO HATES HER INLAWS BEFORE EVEN METTING HER HUSBAND).
My wifes best friend have always wished to marry a man whose mother is late, even as a tenager. God answered her prayers and today she got married to a man who lost his mum early in life. she (my wifes friend) now has a 3 year old son. what if her future daugther inlaw wants her death too before her wedding to her son! BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!
Most times i do not blame you women for hating your inlaws. I blame your weak husbands who allow you to devalue their relatives.
If you really wants to live an inlaw free live, please do not get married, or better still find a husband who is an ophan.
As long as you are married to a man or woman who grew up in a family and have relatives they must inconvienence you, and where ever humans are there must be problems, as a mature person you must find a way to solve your problems and not outrigthly trowing them (your inlaws) out.
THE REASON WHY MY WIVE HAS TO VALUE ALL MY RELATIVES WHETHER SHE LIKES IT OR NOT IS BECAUSE IF I WERE A NOBODY SHE WOULD NOT HAVE MARRIED ME. MY FAMILY, BOTH NUCLEAR AND EXTENDED ALL CONTRIBUTED TO MAKE ME A BETTER PERSON. I ALSO TREAT HER PEOPLE WELL AND WELCOME THEM TO MY HOUSE AT ALL TIMES.

oglalasioux:

The separation of family and friends from marriage is important. It's only in Africa that lazy family members continue to sniff around the home of their married relatives. The truth is that family members and friends are out to destroy homes and marriages. Not one of them means well. For me, when I tie the knot, my house will be strictly on invitation. Bleep African traditions.