You better tell your brother the truth. He'll one day accuse u of not telling him

lofty900:
my brother it's not like that o. What the family did was wrong and there's no way the girl will be welcome into the family. Will you prefer her to be an outcast to her in laws. Me, I no be Jesus o, I no fit forgive this one

point taken but remember that even the parents hav left the mata for Matthias

This is tough and delicate;just like an egg shell.....no one knows where it going to crack.

All said and done,I will go with the family meeting crew. The parents as born again should tell the un-edited story openly to every member of the family. Old wounds has to be re-visited,clean and treated for complete healing.....your brother and sisters deserve to know the truth because when push come to shove.......the family is home.

Court cases are bound to go either ways, even in victory...every party should play be the rules.

Happy healing

tell ur brother the whole truth but dont advice him on breaking the relationship. just tell him so he can. have an idea on who his to be faather inlaw is.

yinkus4u2c:



You don't understand English I'm sure... Sorry hun

Accepted. Go and Sin no moremor

@Op, don't try to visit the sin of the father on the child, you no be God.The lady has her own life to live and her fathers wrong doings should not be a barrier. Put ur self in her shoes, would you have wanted to be denied ur privileges because of ur parents shortcoming?

stonecoldcafe:


[b]I understand how you feel and i dont have the answers you seek. It is a tough one. I feel for your family and the girls family.

Now before i say much, remember that this girl didn't do anything to your family. She had no hand in it just as you personally didn't covert her parents property. It is between your supposed inlaw, your parents and whoever sold the house to them.

Now let's look at it in another way. What if this your supposed in law is right? Put yourself in his shoes. If you were the one who was left to dispose to your father's property and a rogue brother sold it to a nice family, would you agree. Yes, take a minute and think. Remove your parents from the equation and all they suffered. If indeed your supposed inlaw was right, he HAD EVERY RIGHT TO FIGHT FOR THAT PROPERTY RIGHT till the very end. And don't forget the court agreed with him. Your parents lawyer also saw sense in it (after chopping their money as per his legal fees) and advised your parents to allow sleeping dogs lie. WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU? Perhaps your so called inlaw was right afterall!

Now when i began this advice, i was confused but now i'm done, i think i will tow your parents path as well. Allow your egbon brother be. Leave the lovers alone. You may even be shocked your brother knows about it. Perhaps the girl has put two and two together and has told your brother all he needs to know. The history between your family runs too deep for everyone to be playing ignorance. surnames have been mentioned and i believe your parents have met with the girls parents. They all know themselves and i assume the girl's parents must have told her certain things too. If they don't, a nosey relation must have told her and the girl would have told your brother in turn. Love does funny things to people. Your brother that has sworn to fight for your family will grow soft once he learns its wife to be family that caused the heartache for your parents. Yes, that's what love can do. It turns man to mumu.

Don't make everlasting enemy with your blood brother. You will miss out on alot. If your parents who were most hurt can forgive, WHO ARE YOU to hold it against them. Let it be and let God have his way. Just go on your knees and pray. If it is God's will, let the marriage happen but if its not, let it scatter.

Dont play God in anyone's affair. Leave the young lovers alone. God bless you bro. [/b]

Your Point is Observed. Please observe what i am about to say carefully... Let him just tell the brother the truth. If the supposed in-law is so nice.. why did he not wait to ask the man to pack out. why sell the house to the bank immediately... so many questions left unanswered. Let me explain something here i don't plan to inherit my father's property or fight over it with my brother.. I will work for mine and i will also follow up the legacies to my kids. Before you do things to people put yourself in their shoes. Thanks

ben1daEbiri:
And you think the girl knows nothing about it?if she has a conscience she would even feel uneasy going there!

it is hard to tell some parents are very conservative

akinsmyk:
See people talking about forgiveness like its a free air. Even God does not forgive for free, you have to confess, show remorse for your wrong and repent before you can get it. Even at times, God might forgive you but you will still be punished for your wrong doing

Na true word you talk my brother. In fact, there are more questions than answers in the whole story.

1). If the OP does not tell his brother, and the marriage goes ahead, how will his brother feel towards him if he eventually finds out that the OP kept the whole thing from him?

2). Has the prospective, tyrannical in-law who threw them out of the house all those years ago changed his ways? The man or his people might end up looking down at the OP's brother and family after the marriage, or may even humiliate them during the wedding preparations when he eventually finds out who the OP's parents are. When people go to court over an issue, it is difficult for them to fully reconcile and become friends again after the whole process is over. A lot of bitter words would have been exchanged and lots of bad blood would have been raised.

3). Is the OP's brother sure, that even his prospective bride does not harbour some of the bad traits exhibited by her father in the past? She may appear all docile now, but believe me an apple does not fall far from the tree.

4). If the father of the girlfriend of the OP's brother could do all that to the OP's family, isn't it possible that the same man or his people could treat the OP's brother in a far worse manner, if a similar situation or another problem were to raise its' head in the future?

5). The OP's brother is a grown man and not an adolescent kid. He should be made aware of all the facts. If the revelation is a pill that is too difficult to swallow and it eventually breaks his relationship, so be it. He will get over it and move on. Heartbreak has been happening from time immemorial, and people have recovered from it. If the revelations do not break the relationship, then he and the girl should be able to weather the storm, and move on. Hiding the fact will only cause problems later on.

All the parties involved should thrash out the issue openly, and not sweep it under the carpet. There should be open admission of faults on both sides, and efforts should be made to seek true reconcilation and forgiveness, months before the wedding to prevent any kind of crisis down the line.

Just my 2 cents.

Do you feel we can convince you to not tell? If not, do as you wish

I will never advice anybody not to marry anybody whether it is my brother or sister. Make your decisions yourself. I will only support you in prayers and fasting.

holusormi:
Follow your heart !!! As far as this case is concerned you cannot be wrong .... On the flip side however , if you decide to tell your brother and ignore what your parents said , what happens if he still marries her ? Anybody who goes on a journey of revenge should dig two graves ...

Although if na me , I go tell am ooo.... Yeah am badt like that !!!

But IDK sha

Isnt that decision to be made by the brother?
Dont u think that d brother might also feel misreable and terrible when he eventually finds out? Ofcourse he will find out, what if his threats of giving up everthing to fight the man is actually what he intends to do actually, what do u think will happen to the marriage?






In my own opinion, i think this pained brother should forgive those family, but he deserves the right to tell his brother the truth, infact he owe that to the brother.



Let d brother be the judge of any consequences.

Even God knows u can't mess with my family and go free

I think you should tell your brother before the wedding because as I dey look you make you no go spill the beans on the wedding day o.

adozie:
Your parents are right. You are WRONG!!!
You are pursuing a personal vendetta and you want to ruin your brothers joy.
The courts ruled in the case, that means that the man who sold the house to your dad erred. You should hold him and his family responsible, especially if you claim the original owner had a will.

Listen, am having the same problem now and I am going to court. My late father wrote a will and gave me, a big landed property, just like he gave my other siblings. I live abroad and before I came back, my oldest brother (first son) had sold more than 30 plots from the land. He claimed he is the first son and had the right to sell, despite a will from our father the owner of the property.
I will have my day in court and the people he sold the land to should not see me as the enemy.

Let your brother have his happiness. Your parents probably know a lot more about the transaction than you do.
Let peace reign.

Na wa oooooo, after a written will sharing all the properties and I am sure he got his too and probably got a large chunk of the property as the first son, yet he still had eyes for yours and was even selling it claiming he is the first son? hian wetin we no go see for this life, I thought this only happens in movies? This is greediness ooooo

SSpeter:
I know this might not be totally right but at least it will make me feel great. Egbon wants to get married in march and automatically I will become the best Man. But I don't want him to get married to her. It is not because of her but the dad.

It all started back in 1998 my dad was having a court case with our supposed in-law over our house. The house was sold to my dad by the late late brother of our supposed in-law. That was even before my dad got married. We have lived in that house for more than 10yrs. My siblings and I were born there. After the death of the brother in 1998 he dragged my dad to court saying his brother was only a benefactor and does not have the legal right to sell the building and their late father made him the executor of His properties according to the late father's will. My parents were partners in business and their office was located at the ground floor of the building where we lived. Their goods were also stored there (plumbing equipment).

Prior to joining the plumbing business, my dad was into commercial inter-state transport services after suffering heavy losses he auctioned what was left and joined my mum in the plumbing business. A year later he was in court with our supposed in-law. The legal battle started in December. Egbon travelled with an aunt of mine who had won a visa lottery the previous year. My sisters were older than the guys. they were already in boarding school. I was the king of the house. My dad suffered many embarrassment at the hands of our supposed in-law. He dragged the case for some years money meant for business ended up in legal battles. My dad had to borrow to pay suppliers. He couldn't not order for new materials anymore and the business eventually collapsed. Extended families gave their support until 2003 when a lagos high court handed our supposed in-law victory

My dad wanted to appeal the judgement but his lawyer told him to get an apartment with whatever he has left. Although my parents thought they hid everything from us. Perhaps my sisters didn't notice because they were not always home but I saw my mum cry severally. I saw the fears in my dad eyes. I listened to their whispering at night I knew we were doomed. Our supposed In-law sold the house to a bank. The bank gave two weeks to evacuate. But before the notice expired they brought sledge hammer and started destroying the building with our properties in it. My dad tried to protest but he was beaten and arrested. For the first time I saw our "Supposed In-law" that day ordering the boys to destroy everything. My dad was later released days after. I went to live with my cousins. My sisters also went to live with my other cousins.

In 2006 I wrote a mail to Egbon I narrated all that happened to him and he vowed he was going to ensure that they payed for it dearly. Few years later, I got admission into the university my parents embraced christ; But I still feel bitter. How time flies, my sisters are both married and it's just me preparing for the life of a bachelor; Until recently my brother told me his plans of getting married, I noticed it because he has visited us more than usual last year and had extensive discussions with my parents. But whenever He came back He still promised my dad that he will never forget all that happened. My dad told him that was in the past but I know what my brother was capable of doing as regards family.

He brought his supposed girl friend (I believe that is all she will ever be) to the house last christmas everyone welcomed her but immediately I set my eyes on her, she looked like the man that was giving orders to tear down our house. I asked her for her surname, when she said ****US, I knew she was the daughter of our long time enemy. When they left, my mum and dad begged me that I shouldn't say anything. That they have forgiven him. She invited my parents and I during the new year but I declined. I have also told my brother I can't be his best man. He thought am joking cos it was via mail. My brother had assured me severally whenever I told him what became of us after then that incident and he told me "I will give up anything to deal with the Man that messed with my family". I guess I will have to tell him the whole truth. But my parents keep calling me every single day to beg. "Saying I should not bring him misery. That they were happy he decided to bring home a cool headed lady".....But I just can't let it go. Unless my brother and I will decide not to be brothers anymore because I will never go to his house if he marries her. I will never associate myself with him or anything that has to do with him.

I have finished typing the truth I want to send the mail to him...I don't know why I am hesitating (I guess my parents will forgive me sooner or later) but he has to know the truth!!!!....i can't dine with my enemy!.....I don't want to see her dad face again....never...I hope am doing the right thing....i think I am.....perhaps I am...

And so what happened afterwards..
It's been 5months, how did everything go??
Me no dey like tori wey no complete o especially when e don elapse im timeline

Sspeter...how far? How did it go? Did they get married? Were you the best man? Have you forgiven them?

Biko come and up. Thanks a Quintillion.

SSPeter, pls coman update this story..