If you were dating a girl and she by chance was a virgin, you both have plans of getting married in the near future. You have never had doubts that she's a perfect woman. One night, some hoodlums lurking around find their way into your house, raped your fiancee right in your face. If you were the guy in this situation, what would you do? Walk away or continue the relationship and subsequently get married to her?

Lol @ post. U should also ask urself wat if u both were married nd for years, this happens, would u leave? Of cause I would stay, y would I want to leave?

some questions sef na wa, its hard to say wat one wld do in such a situation, i get a sneaky feeling this dude is more concerned the hoodlums tore the rubber not him, u know that feeling u get when u get a brand new laptop n u get to peel off the plasticy film covering , hmmm yum yum

TheSeeker:

If you were dating a girl and she by chance was a virgin, you both have plans of getting married in the near future. You have never had doubts that she's a perfect woman. One night, some hoodlums lurking around find their way into your house, raped your fiancee right in your face. If you were the guy in this situation, what would you do? Walk away or continue the relationship and subsequently get married to her?

Peeps that reason the way u do don't deserve good women.

jay bee:

Peeps that reason the way u do don't deserve good women.

How did I reason? Maybe you need to go back to the board and read again. I asked what you would do in such a situation. I also pointed out that it's happened to people I know and I still remember what happened. I still am in talks with the guy involved. Next time you don't slander people like you just did. Read and understand the contents of every topic before you start the smearing. _{I don't mean no offense but insults has been the paragon of attitudes here on NL lately}

Monicaa:

Lol @ post. U should also ask urself wat if u both were married nd for years, this happens, would u leave? Of cause I would stay, y would I want to leave?

I understand where your coming from. But the status here is they are still not married. I was talking to the guy and he said he can't possibly get over the scenario. He said each time he sees her, he remembers the night and how it happened. I have ceaselessly tried talking him out of that opinion but he wouldn't bulge. Whether or not I was already married, I'd stay because it was never any of her intentions to be raped.

@ post- I don't think Jaybee was trying 2b mean but d question itself was tricky nd more like duh of cause y would I want 2 leave because she was raped in my presence?

Monicaa:

@ post- I don't think Jaybee was trying 2b mean but d question itself was tricky nd more like duh of cause y would I want 2 leave because she was raped in my presence?

He may not have intended it to be mean but it did come through as being mean. This happened to a friend of mine, I have tried to make him see things from a different perspective yet, he is bent of opting out of the relationship. The babe's refusal to continue the relationship is also not helping matters. She actually wants the relationship to continue but the guy's lousy reactions to her is putting her off.

Ur friend must have something else in mind, mayb I don't understand 'cos I'm not him but still that should not b enuf reason 2 opt out. Its not fair on d girl.

Monicaa:

Ur friend must have something else in mind, mayb I don't understand 'cos I'm not him but still that should not b enuf reason 2 opt out. Its not fair on d girl.

I am starting to feel there is more to it. However, I remember how he constantly praised her. Now I'm wondering what happened to all those accolades.

TheSeeker:

I am starting to feel there is more to it. However, I remember how he constantly praised her. Now I'm wondering what happened to all those accolades.

d virginity was d only thing on his mind!

so oga cos some misfortune came calling, u up and run?
soo much for love!


@me,
i go marry am with soo much joy, and if the brideprice nah 2 naira i go opt for 4naiara.
thats how much i wud value her, to make her know her worth to me was not in her virginity.

Seeing as it happened just before marriage, it must be a warning. . .  She might seem perfect but she's definitely bad news.

I no marry abeg.

oh wow.  I feel pity for the girl. not only for being a victim of rape but also for keeping an asshole as a boyfriend.

biola44:

d virginity was d only thing on his mind!

very sad ain't it  

izeek:

so oga cos some misfortune came calling, u up and run?
soo much for love!


@me,
i go marry am with soo much joy, and if the brideprice nah 2 naira i go opt for 4naiara.
thats how much i wud value her, to make her know her worth to me was not in her virginity.

That's a good idea. But some people still beg to differ.

oyinda.:

oh wow.  I feel pity for the girl. not only for being a victim of rape but also for keeping an asshole as a boyfriend.

very sad ain't it  

The girl deserves more.

oyinda.:

oh wow. I feel pity for the girl. not only for being a victim of rape but also for keeping an asshole as a boyfriend.

very sad ain't it

yeah, but he loves d virginity more?
!

biola44:

yeah, but he loves d virginity more?
!

infact the virginity not the person was what he wanted to marry.

TheSeeker:

That's a good idea. But some people still beg to differ.
The girl deserves more.

yeah the people who thinks marrying a virgin ascertains loyalty.

TheSeeker:

That's a good idea. But some people still beg to differ.
The girl deserves more.

yea the girl definitely deserves way more.
I wonder what pain she must feel to be raped first of all and then rejected, as a result, by the one she loves.

biola44:

yeah, but he loves d virginity more?
!

is the guy a virgin sef? @ theseeker, is he a virgin?   why are naija men obsessed with female virginity   (going by the # of virgin topics in this site)

biola44:

yeah, but he loves d virginity more?
!

Very sad but true. I think he kept her in the first place because of the virginity. I asked him once if he was keeping her because of the virginity and not because he actually loves her and his response was a resounding NO!

oyinda.:

yea the girl definitely deserves way more.
I wonder what pain she must feel to be raped first of all and then rejected, as a result, by the one she loves.

is the guy a virgin sef? @ theseeker, is he a virgin?   why are naija men obsessed with female virginity   (going by the # of virgin topics in this site)

I don't know ooooo. Ask them. But my friend lives in San Francisco.

oyinda.:

oh wow. I feel pity for the girl. not only for being a victim of rape but also for keeping an asshole as a boyfriend.

very sad ain't it

Funny i actually expected your stupendous response. Its a simple question, an open debate and answers are based on different issues, why must u cringe at any response that does not go in line with your's?

whitelexi:

Funny i actually expected your stupendous response. Its a simple question, an open debate and answers are based on different issues, why must u cringe at any response that does not go in line with your's?

It has been a rampant modus operandi on NL that everyone monitors your response and slay you if it doesn't go in line with theirs. In the actual sense, I believe people have their reasons for their respective opinions. Why would you consider opting out? Just maybe I might understand my friend's decision a little bit more.

whitelexi:

why must u cringe at any response that does not go in line with your's?

what's wrong with cringing at it?? it is a situation that's definitely worth cringing at.
speaking as a girl, if i was raped I would regret having a boyfriend like that in the first place and would prolly hate myself for that.
ppl commit suicide on stuff like this.
plus marriage is "for better for worse" and if a so called "boyfriend" can't be there for his girlfriend in a scarring situation like this (wonder the images that are on the girl's mind everyday) what's going to happen if they get married? I wouldn't advice them to marry seeing that the dude isn't responsible. sounds like a guy that will leave his wife if they give birth to a son with down syndrome. unforseen stuff happen all the time and can bring out ppls true colors

pls have a heart ok?

you're free to share your opinion of course. just as i'm free to give mine  

TheSeeker:

One night, some hoodlums lurking around find their way into your house, raped your fiancee right in your face. If you were the guy in this situation, what would you do? Walk away or continue the relationship and subsequently get married to her?

the bf is a resounding idiot and an asshole
yea, he's pissed that his gf was raped in front of him, why ddint he prevent the hoodlums? oh i guess he wasnt man enough? he is talking as if the girls begged the rapist to violently rape her or do it in front of him Instead of, him to show remorse for the poor girl, he's there whining. if i was the girl, i will be the first to leave him sef, nonsense. been raped is already an emotional torment to have to deal with his ass. gosh

~Sissy~:


the bf is a resounding idiot and an asshole

yea, he's pissed that his gf was raped in front of him, why ddint he prevent the hoodlums? oh i guess he wasnt man enough? he is talking as if the girls begged the rapist to violently rape her or do it in front of him Instead of, him to show remorse for the poor girl, he's there whining. if i was the girl, i will be the first to leave him sef, nonsense. been raped is already an emotional torment to have to deal with his ass. gosh

I thought as much. I have known girls who have been raped and I can tell it's one of the true but sad traumas some women involved have to deal with. It emotionally and physically drains any woman caught up in this mess and before you know it, she's a wreck. Might take as long as 10 years before she gets right back on track until whatever makes her reminisce vamooses. Sissy, what's up?

Some men. . .r just dumb!!

Seeing someone else uncock her bottle,would hurt, but thats NOT the end of the world&NO reason to backout of marrying her. . after all, most LADIES getting married today, ALREADY have had their "congos" shined. . .so, it's nuffin new

TheSeeker:

I thought as much. I have known girls who have been raped and I can tell it's one of the true but sad traumas some women involved have to deal with. It emotionally and physically drains any woman caught up in this mess and before you know it, she's a wreck. Might take as long as 10 years before she gets right back on track until whatever makes her reminisce vamooses.  Sissy, what's up?

you can imagine! rape is not an easy thing to have to deal it. and am really fed up with blaming the victim thing. rape is a personal violation and the victims needs all the help and support they can get not some whining ass baby called his bf. gosh, this kinda tells the girl the kinda punk ass bf she has . anyways am fine and you?

~Sissy~:

you can imagine! rape is not an easy thing to have to deal it. and am really fed up with blaming the victim thing. rape is a personal violation and the victims needs all the help and support they can get not some whining ass baby called his bf. gosh, this kinda tells the girl the kinda punk ass bf she has . anyways am fine and you?

It's a permanent stigma in her life. Which is hard to deal with. Still baffles me why some men condescend to rape. I wish this unfortunate habit halts but I'm not sure that will happen. I am fine, the week is burning out like calorie. How's it up @your end?

funny simile

TheSeeker:

It's a permanent stigma in her life. Which is hard to deal with. Still baffles me why some men condescend to rape. I wish this unfortunate habit halts but I'm not sure that will happen. I am fine, the week is burning out like calorie. How's it up @your end?

ignorant is the problem.  my end dey cool, no wahala yet.

whitelexi:

Seeing as it happened just before marriage, it must be a warning. . .  She might seem perfect but she's definitely bad news.

I no marry abeg.

Seeing as it happened just before marriage, i reiterate: I no marry abeg!
That has absolutely nothing to do with her virginity, or the fact that she got raped. People get raped everyday - its no biggie. Some dont even remember they were raped when they wake up the next day after a drunken night - There was actually a court case in those lines recently.

Nobody is saying rape is a good thing, but personally, i dont see any big deal in it - some women actually like it rough.

this should be time for the guy to show her more luv, and to show that her personality was far more important than a piece of hymen and here he is thinking of leaving the girl.

may be God allowed this to happen inorder for her to know the kind of man she is getting her self involve with and possibly disengage from the relationship for a better man.

na wah oh some men sef

Let's twist the question a bit. . . So this dude is really nice and seems to be the perfect one for u when suddenly, just before your marriage, some homosexual armed robbers broke in and gave it to him real rough from his behind - leaving him with a possible terminal infection and a permanent anal dysfunction which meant that he could no longer control how or when he made doodoo.
Would u, as a loving prospective wife, still go ahead with the marriage, or will u thank God the marriage has not yet happened?